Bill Maher: A Fall From Grace That Left a Hole in the Ground Like Wile E. Coyote

 

Andrew Dice Clay: a Tool Answering a Jeopardy Question About Other Tools

 

Brendan Schaub: A Failed MMA Fighter Turned Failed Comedian Who Also Fails at Transphobic Humor

 

And the Academy Award for Best PR Team Goes to...

 

Quine Roseman, Edge Lord Comedian from "When They Go Low, Punch Lower" (What the Fuck Is a Chicagofornian?)

 

HEY, HEY, HEY! We Got Another Hollywood Reboot!

 

Pee-Wee Herman (Rest in Peace) vs. Tina Descovich, Founder of Mommies For Lubrication, I Mean, Moms For Liberty

 

Jerry Seinfeld: Living Proof That Not All Dinosaurs Were Wiped Out

 

Larry David vs. Waldo: Blending in with the Crowd Isn't the Flex You Think It Is

 

Jada Pinkett-Smith vs. Chris Rock: If They're "Just Jokes", Then You'll Let Jada Clap Back with No Retaliation

 

John Cleese: a Free Speech Warrior Who Can't Talk Because He's Licking J.K. Rowling's Boots

 

Ray Parker, Jr. vs. Louis C.K.: Who You Gonna Call? My Lawyer!

 

Paige Layle from TikTok vs. Adam Carolla from The Man Show: Dodging Accountability Like Alimony Payments

 

R.E.M. vs. Russell Brand: Losing My Religion

 

James Acaster vs. Graham Linehan: The Loser Gets TERF Island

 

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez vs. Alex Stein: Since When Is Sexual Abuse Considered Free Speech?

 

Rob Schneider: a Conservative Comedian Who's About as Funny as a Heart Attack

 

Ryan Long: a "Comedian" Whose Extraordinary Alien Status Is Funnier Than His Standup Material

 

Shane Gillis: a Brave Free Speech Warrior Who Wets His Pants at Cancel Culture

 

Apolo Dominici, Non-Mediocre Comedian from "When They Go Low, Punch Lower"