Sophie Cunningham: Like a Basketball Match with Trans Athletes Playing in It, She's Fair Game

Ashlee Evans-Smith: She Beat Fallon Fox and She's Somehow Still Bitching About Unfairness

 

Matt Mitrione: His Hate-Boner for Fallon Fox Turned Out to Be a Real One

 

Nyla Rose: the Secret Desire of Transphobic Men Everywhere

 

Drag Queen Derangement Syndrome

VERSE 1

You always like to brag about being offensive

But when it’s thrown back at you, you go on the defensive

It’s never funny when it happens to you

Just your strawman drag queen gay black jew

You think of drag queens more than they think of themselves

Even though not one of them is hoarding the wealth

Then you go on a rant about men’s mental health

Calm the fuck down, Chad, you did it to yourself

 

CHORUS

Drag Queen Derangement Syndrome

The kind of disease that puts you in the happy home

From the gates of agony to the puzzle factory

All because a dress-wearer just wanted flattery

 

VERSE 2

When you’re at a drag show, you get an erection

Then all of the queens need some witness protection

When you pull out a gun bigger than your own dick

And hold down the trigger for a symphony of clicks

Now all of the sudden, you’re the next Jesus Christ

And a shoo-in for employment with the incels at ICE

Now I know why you like to wear a ski mask

‘Cause you’re drooling like a dog when you see a queen’s ass

 

CHORUS

Drag Queen Derangement Syndrome

The kind of disease that puts you in the happy home

From the gates of agony to the puzzle factory

All because a dress-wearer just wanted flattery

 

VERSE 3

Your hard drive is a treasure trove of perversion

The only sexual relief for unlovable virgins

You got pics of Kamala in leather lingerie

But they’re fake as fuck, that’s why AI has an A

Deepfakes on AOC baring her breasts

But yours are much bigger, spinal health is a mess

Pictures of drag queens eating up all your RAM

And a ten-year-old girl posing naked on web cams

 

CHORUS X2

Drag Queen Derangement Syndrome

The kind of disease that puts you in the happy home

From the gates of agony to the puzzle factory

All because a dress-wearer just wanted flattery

 

OUTRO

You honestly think Michelle Obama is a man?

That must be the reason why you’ve got your dick in your hand!

Brock "The Stanford Rapist" Turner: If He Wants to Swim Again, Make Sure There Are Cottonmouths in the Water with Him

 

John Cleese: a Free Speech Warrior Who Can't Talk Because He's Licking J.K. Rowling's Boots

 

Josh Hokit: the Delightful Douche at UFC White House Who Let Michelle Obama Live Rent Free in His Head

 

The Hodge Twits, I Mean, The Hodge Twins: Of Course Their Names Are Keith and Kevin, DUH!

 

Lars Sullivan: Another Ex-WWE Loser Trying to Get Back in the Spotlight by Saying Stupid Shit Online

 

The Hot Violinist vs. Kim Davis: The REAL Bowling Green Massacre

 

Dana Scully from The X-Files vs. Anita Bryant: The Truth Is Out There...and It's Not Being Told By Transphobes

 

Blackjack Randall from Outlander vs. Kyle Royce from TikTok: Guess Who's Winning Based On Their Filmography

 

Sarah McBride vs. Nancy Mace: Another Transphobe for the Barbecue Pit

 

James Acaster vs. Graham Linehan: The Loser Gets TERF Island

 

Imane Khelif vs. Melania Trump: No, That's Not a Boxing Match, Unfortunately

 

Amy Schneider vs. Charly Arnolt: The Only Advantage Is Greatness

 

Noel Plum: a "Logical" Atheist Who Says Illogical Shit About Trans People

 

I'm really digging the side-by-side view I've been using lately, not just for M.I.A., but also Noel Plum. It gives me more room to write captions.

Shane Gillis: a Brave Free Speech Warrior Who Wets His Pants at Cancel Culture

 

Ken Jennings vs. Mike Richards: Careers in Jeopardy