Night Ride

Put a fucking muffler on your ’57 Chevy

It ain’t that deep and it ain’t that heavy

The rest of the block is trying to sleep

And you’re raping our ears like a bus stop creep

Mediocre white guy going for a night ride

You’re a perfect candidate for a gangland drive-by

You peaked in high school and it never got better

Yet you throw shade at those who ain’t swimming in cheddar

Your noisy engine is your personality

It’s all that’s remembered after road fatalities

Adrenaline junky looking for your next high

So you speed towards the ramp, get ready to fly

Motocross, but with a piece of shit car

You might have had a few Miller Lites at the bar

Mix it with your Monster and a case of Red Bull

MAGA flag on one side, the other side is rebel

Hoot and holler so they can hear you in China

And if they complain, say they have a vagina

That’s full of sand and pieces of Mae Young’s hand

Congratulations, you’re an Aaron Lewis cover band

Speed right off into the dark of the night

And if you get pulled over, put your dukes up and fight

Blue Lives Matter until you throw the first punch

Now a fully loaded pistol is eating you for lunch

Should we call you patriotic or have a good laugh?

I’d call you a comedian, but you suck at the craft

Your whole life is comedy, it’ll end in tragedy

Even worse if you’re a student at the Rape Academy

Kleptometer

VERSE 1

You had decades to put two slugs in my chest

And you couldn’t be bothered to give me your best

You spent your whole life in agony because I exist

For the love of god, move on, because we all insist

You need around-the-clock care for your butthurt derriere

You failed on purpose, yet you say it’s not fair

That I breathe in greatness and breathe out revolution

While you’re writing angry essays on The Final Solution

 

CHORUS

I’m so happy that I wasted your time

Not a great place to stick all your nickels and dimes

Save your Benjamins and Hamiltons for NFTs

The kleptometer’s readings are really sending me

 

VERSE 2

Put some money in my wallet just like you should

Then you say you’ll go nuclear if my work isn’t good

Sight unseen is how you describe your purchase

But you already decided that my thoughts are worthless

Guys like you and me have never been equal

We share the biology, but we’re two different people

You put too much stock in burning down the whole planet

And you blow a gasket when I say I won’t have it

 

CHORUS

I’m so happy that I wasted your time

Not a great place to stick all your nickels and dimes

Save your Benjamins and Hamiltons for NFTs

The kleptometer’s readings are really sending me

 

VERSE 3

Curiosity never once killed the cat

It never killed anyone, what do you think about that?

But sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong

Is so much worse when you think you’re never wrong

I’ve got a lifetime of lessons I could pass down to you

But you’re special, so you don’t need anything new

Just keep opening your mouth for a helping of slop

And keep on chowing down until your belly pops

 

CHORUS

I’m so happy that I wasted your time

Not a great place to stick all your nickels and dimes

Save your Benjamins and Hamiltons for NFTs

The kleptometer’s readings are really sending me

 

OUTRO

Tick, tock, tick, tock

Your palms are sweating as you count down the clock

Tick, tock, tick, tock

Only minutes remain until you’re stiff as a rock

Tick, tock, tick, tock

You could have forged any path you wanted to

Tick, tock, tick, tock

Now you take your last breath, bitch face goes blue

Drag Queen Derangement Syndrome

VERSE 1

You always like to brag about being offensive

But when it’s thrown back at you, you go on the defensive

It’s never funny when it happens to you

Just your strawman drag queen gay black jew

You think of drag queens more than they think of themselves

Even though not one of them is hoarding the wealth

Then you go on a rant about men’s mental health

Calm the fuck down, Chad, you did it to yourself

 

CHORUS

Drag Queen Derangement Syndrome

The kind of disease that puts you in the happy home

From the gates of agony to the puzzle factory

All because a dress-wearer just wanted flattery

 

VERSE 2

When you’re at a drag show, you get an erection

Then all of the queens need some witness protection

When you pull out a gun bigger than your own dick

And hold down the trigger for a symphony of clicks

Now all of the sudden, you’re the next Jesus Christ

And a shoo-in for employment with the incels at ICE

Now I know why you like to wear a ski mask

‘Cause you’re drooling like a dog when you see a queen’s ass

 

CHORUS

Drag Queen Derangement Syndrome

The kind of disease that puts you in the happy home

From the gates of agony to the puzzle factory

All because a dress-wearer just wanted flattery

 

VERSE 3

Your hard drive is a treasure trove of perversion

The only sexual relief for unlovable virgins

You got pics of Kamala in leather lingerie

But they’re fake as fuck, that’s why AI has an A

Deepfakes on AOC baring her breasts

But yours are much bigger, spinal health is a mess

Pictures of drag queens eating up all your RAM

And a ten-year-old girl posing naked on web cams

 

CHORUS X2

Drag Queen Derangement Syndrome

The kind of disease that puts you in the happy home

From the gates of agony to the puzzle factory

All because a dress-wearer just wanted flattery

 

OUTRO

You honestly think Michelle Obama is a man?

That must be the reason why you’ve got your dick in your hand!

Serial Contrarian

VERSE 1: SERIAL CONTRARIAN

Listen up, my opinions are the only ones worth having

I’m taking off the kid gloves, we don’t need the extra padding

Your favorite show sucks, it only made a hundred bucks

Your favorite album’s trash, it’s not worth the change and cash

Your favorite food is ass, it takes a million years to pass

World’s first anal stone, it’ll break your tailbone

You can’t walk away from a friendly debate

Or else you’re the one who’s fascist and full of all the hate

 

CHORUS 1: ME

Serial contrarians are no different from the Aryans

We can’t have nice things, ‘cause we’re ruled by kings

Can’t I have five minutes where you shut the fuck up?

I’d probably get five seconds with my kind of luck

 

VERSE 2: SERIAL CONTRARIAN

Audiobooks don’t count, because you can’t see the words

They’re like campfire stories, in case you haven’t heard

I’m not trying to be ableist, that’s why I like AI

‘Cause we all know the dunderheads never score high

 

CHORUS 2: ME

Serial contrarians are filled up with arrogance

Just leave my stuff alone, ‘cause it’s where I call home

Can’t I have a moment so that I can sit and think?

I’m just buying time until you push me to the brink

 

VERSE 3: SERIAL CONTRARIAN

Unpack your bags and get out of the Uber

Did you forget that I’m famous and a powerful YouTuber?

If you break up with me, you violate the First Amendment

Court of public opinion, you’re the obvious defendant

I’ll make a thousand hit pieces and rack up ad money

Until you come back, kiss my cheek, call me honey

You’re more likely to come packing a loaded 45

I brushed up on Algospeak, now my ass is unalived

 

CHORUS 3: ME

Serial contrarians are just techno-libertarians

And now they’re all cancelled for being big assholes

They’ll never change their ways, so it’s time to walk away

With my head held high as I flip the bird goodbye

Serial contrarians are ripping out their hair again

They can keep from turning pink if they’d just see a shrink

But therapy is heresy, at least that’s what they’ll say

So they walk among the sheep and let out a loud bray

Dacryphilia

CHORUS

You look cute when you’re crying

When you’re contemplating dying

When there’s no point in trying

When the world thinks you’re lying

Every plea for help sounds like sucking helium

In the pervert industry, it’s called dacryphilia

 

VERSE 1

The manliest men talking male suicides

Like they themselves got nothing dirty to hide

Vulnerability don’t jive well with the muscles

And the bushiest beards and the work culture hustle

Macho madness is the number one killer

Of lonely men who feel like background filler

All you have to do is reach out for help

Provided you have good insurance for health

 

CHORUS

You look cute when you’re crying

When you’re contemplating dying

When there’s no point in trying

When the world thinks you’re lying

Every plea for help sounds like sucking helium

In the pervert industry, it’s called dacryphilia

 

VERSE 2

The womanly women have permission to sob

Then get threatened and bullied by the right-wing mob

It was never about having a monopoly on tears

It was about who was better at weaponizing fears

Insecure men pull a gun or a knife

When the balance of power slides over to their wives

Or any woman with a little bit of independence

Male judges make sure the killer gets a light sentence

 

CHORUS

You look cute when you’re crying

When you’re contemplating dying

When there’s no point in trying

When the world thinks you’re lying

Every plea for help sounds like sucking helium

In the pervert industry, it’s called dacryphilia

 

VERSE 3

Do you envy the enby when they have the narrative?

Is it a blow to your ego? Are you a macho embarrassment?

Didn’t you learn in school that you had to share your toys?

Or did you dodge accountability like “boys will be boys”?

You throw all the punches and you call yourself the victim

When the ladies you decked have concussed double vision

When the other genders are too afraid to talk to the cops

Drag the world down so you can be the one on top

 

CHORUS

You look cute when you’re crying

When you’re contemplating dying

When there’s no point in trying

When the world thinks you’re lying

Every plea for help sounds like sucking helium

In the pervert industry, it’s called dacryphilia

Price Tag

CHORUS

Everything you do has a price tag on it

Unlimited freedom? I don’t care if you want it

You step on my neck, I’ll step on yours

Bootlicking gets you nowhere, you’ll always be poor

 

VERSE 1

Far-right minority, what the fuck gives?

What’s it like to have black skin and white privilege?

Enjoy it while it lasts, it can be taken away

By the same guys who think you’re whole culture is gay

The G-word’s a pejorative in their itty-bitty world

They can’t see a spectrum beyond boy and girl

When you and your family are next on the cross

Try kissing more ass, on the advice of your boss

 

CHORUS

Everything you do has a price tag on it

Unlimited freedom? I don’t care if you want it

You step on my neck, I’ll step on yours

Bootlicking gets you nowhere, you’ll always be poor

 

VERSE 2

You work in construction while they’re plotting your destruction

You crack a bigoted joke and expect an induction

Into the Hall of Fame or the Millionaire’s Club

Trying hard to be a dom, but you’re always a sub

Isolate inside a bubble of your own creation

Thinking it’ll shield you from public damnation

Never mind being late to your own Over Party

You’re late to your own trial, too late to say sorry

 

CHORUS

Everything you do has a price tag on it

Unlimited freedom? I don’t care if you want it

You step on my neck, I’ll step on yours

Bootlicking gets you nowhere, you’ll always be poor

 

VERSE 3

So what if you make a million dollars or more?

You’ll waste it on gold chains, diamond rings, and whores

Oops, I meant you when I said the big W

‘Cause it ain’t sex workers who want to cuddle you

Your favorite rich bitch won’t want to do it either

Even if you call your own minority “useless eaters”

You can throw the Sig Heil at any time of the day

Doesn’t change the fact that you’re wasting away

Yeah, I called it a fact, it don’t care about your feelings

Don’t like your own medicine? Don’t rush the healing

Your parasocial followers are in a marriage of convenience

They’ll leave you when they see that you’re a fraud, not a genius

I Never Had a Gun

VERSE 1

No toxic person has ever left my life

Because of something I said even though I was right

No toxic person was bounced from my house

Because the human body is too heavy to toss out

No toxic person was remanded to prison

Because free speech rights apply to bullies and bigots

I couldn’t stand up for what was just and fair

You need a reason? Let me just clear the air

 

CHORUS 1

Because I never had a gun

A 45 would do just fine

But I never had a gun

A bullet never forced them to be kind

 

VERSE 2

They said instead of violence, just use my words

But my brain locked up, couldn’t find a sick burn

They said to use leadership skills I didn’t have

So that I could be blamed when I finally snapped

They said to use my presence and fake charisma

When the narcissist says something sick and twisted

Master debating never achieved a damn thing

You need a reason? I got a little something to sing

 

CHORUS 2

Because I never had a gun

A bullet teaches lessons better than me

But I never had a gun

So I let them bash and break my self-esteem

 

BRIDGE

Criminalizing anger is how they stay in power

Imprisoning heroes, leave them shanked in the showers

Nothing is ever a power tripper’s fault

Even though they cover corpses with lime powder and salt

But their ears perk up with they hear a click-clack

Their ability to listen will never go back

To the negative part of the government chart

Because bullets are great for creating modern art

 

CHORUS 3

But I never had a gun

Everyone knew what I’d do with it

So I never had a gun

The world had permission to treat me like shit

Because I never had a gun

I couldn’t change the world with one clip

Mr. Syd Barrett, Where've You Been?

Mr. Syd Barrett, where’ve you been?

Sit your ass down and give this record a spin

The two of us are more than just bricks in the wall

We went a little crazy and we lost it all

They say it was the LSD that sealed your fate

But I call BS, at worst it’s ableist hate

Someone in our bloodlines was fucky in the head

We had a world of potential, but potential’s all dead

Born against our will into an unfeeling world

That shamed us for never catching brass rings and pearls

We had poetry for miles, many stories to tell

About the warring nations and a planet called hell

And the injustices of sitting in a jail cell

When your one and only crime was being unwell

And the corporate slavery of the music industry

Publishing too, they were never into me

Misunderstood at best and pariahs at worst

Our creations came second, mental health came first

Could we survive the housing market as roommates?

Or would the landlords evict us like, “See you soon, mate!”

We might get on each other’s nerves more often than not

The darkness inside reveals as the brain rots

The mask comes off like a neurodivergent rebel

And we make the batshit music at the highest decibels

Neighbors would complain that we’re melting their brains

Gurgling their intestines, filling ears up with pain

Maybe this is better as a what-if scenario

Maybe this nutty movie should be filmed in aerial

Sorry I wasted time with a hypothetical

But to reach out to the world takes steel testicles

In a society that laughs like a pack of hyenas

At the hurting class for not kissing fascist ass

Who would want us to be their loyal friend?

They get millions of them when a hashtag trends

Born into this world and thrown out with the trash

It’s a society that will one day be climate changed to ash

Give Me My Flowers

VERSE 1

I heard the words that no child should hear

“Your dreams are dead, no one will shed tears”

I carried them with me like brain cancer cells

And I survived my own schizophrenic hell

 

PRE-CHORUS 1

No, I don’t need the Medal of Freedom

I’ve seen who won and I don’t need to be them

Serve humble pies so my abusers can eat them

Poison the crusts so I can slay all my demons

 

CHORUS 1

Give me my flowers

Do it for hours

Give me my power

Give me my flowers!

 

VERSE 2

I did the math at the expense of my sanity

I took the pills at the expense of my vanity

And all I got was a damn piece of paper

That says nine-to-five is my one true savior

 

PRE-CHORUS 2

No, I don’t need the Medal of Honor

Though life is war when it only gets harder

Tell my teachers that it’s okay to forget me

Their C’s and D’s make it okay to regret me

 

CHORUS 2

Give me my flowers

Before they sour

Death to the cowards

Give me my flowers!

 

BRIDGE

They tell me it was so many years ago

As if it was something I would never know

Without their reminders and beige prose

Is it any wonder why I will not let go?!

 

CHORUS 3

Give me my flowers

Grown from spring showers

Wilt within hours

Give me my flowers!

Give me my flowers

On your own power

Say I deserve them

Water and serve them!

I Want My Hobbies Back

VERSE 1

Laying in bed staring into outer space

No life in my eyes, ‘cause the life went to waste

Lips are too heavy to lift for a smile

Haven’t left the bed for a long-ass while

Arm is too weak to give the cat pettings

Only reason to get up is to avoid bedwetting

This would be a hell of a time for a hobby

But my brain is soup, primordial and sloppy

 

VERSE 2

Every song I listen to has an extra singer

One blasting the lyrics, one pointing the fingers

Call me every slur that’s ever been used

By every abuser who was once abused

Every story I write has an extra villain

That genocides my joy, laughs at the killing

Every videogame that I’ve tried to beat

Hit the Game Over screen looped on repeat

 

CHORUS

I want my hobbies back

I feel like I’m on crack

An LSD flashback

A poisoned bottle of Jack

I never touched the drugs

My brain don’t give a fuck

I’m high as hell anyway

Pretty much every day

 

VERSE 3

My dopamine supply is always running dry

Yet I couldn’t get a tear to drop from my eyes

Porn addiction is my only prescription

To medicate myself in this world called hell

Refraction periods are overrated

When a million orgasms leave you sedated

Couldn’t get real sex with my personality

It drained away with my social battery

 

CHORUS X2

I want my hobbies back

I feel like I’m on crack

An LSD flashback

A poisoned bottle of Jack

I never touched the drugs

My brain don’t give a fuck

I’m high as hell anyway

Pretty much every day

 

OUTRO

You couldn’t call it highway robbery

Too fucked up to drive, mental sodomy

All my potential stolen without a reason

Food for thought rotted before it was eaten

I was too threatening to the new world order

Because how dare my heart break for kids dead at the border?!

How dare my soul hurt for children raped by priests?!

How dare I ask for fairness and justice for the weak?!

Shut Up, Bitch!

“We’ll be right back after these messages from our sponsors…”

 

Is it Red Fin or Rent Fin?

An intellectual sedative

For your inbred relatives

 

SHUT UP, BITCH!

 

I have a structured settlement

Judge called it embezzlement

Defendant’s out of his element

 

SHUT UP, BITCH!

 

Ask your doctor if it’s right

To take Ozempic every night

Belly fades out of sight

 

SHUT UP, BITCH!

 

We’ve got all your favorite songs

To sell our corporate wrongs

Profits looking pretty strong

 

SHUT UP, BITCH!

 

It’s a blanket with sleeves

You’ll never attract thieves

Just a pervert with fleas

 

SHUT UP, BITCH!

 

Smoking cigarettes will kill you

Funeral home will bill you

Our commercials make you ill, dude

 

SHUT UP, BITCH!

 

Commercials used to be funny, now they’ve lost all charisma

Mediocrity takes over and it’s not an enigma

The richer you get, the less competition

Will make you reach beyond your greatest ambitions

Get lazy on the sofa then project onto the workers

They should be forming a union, but all they want is murder

Why up your game when they’re fighting each other?

Sit back, relax, and watch them killing their brothers

Disaster Porn Star

VERSE 1

You’re all fucked! You’re all screwed!

They took away every pound of food

They call it famine, I call it murder

Can’t even buy a junior bacon burger

Can’t even buy a head of lettuce

No child left behind? They’ll already forget us

Your rumbling tummy has sealed your fate

But thank the stars above you’re not overweight

 

CHORUS 1

If it’s upsetting to you, then that’s the point

Swallow all your Xanax, roll yourself a joint

Self-medication only gets you so far

I’m your news anchor, disaster porn star

 

VERSE 2

You’re all pegged! You’re all dead!

They never had to put a bullet in your head

Just feed you second helpings of existential dread

Until you’re lifeless inside, assed out on your bed

You could overdose on your favorite medication

But your soul doesn’t care enough about ideation

Indifferent to the world closing in all around

When the rubble crashes down, you won’t make a sound

 

CHORUS 2

If it’s pissing you off, then we did our job

Now go and get yours, you underclass slob

We’re reporting facts, that’s just how they are

We’re your cable news, disaster porn stars

 

BRIDGE

Ron Jeremy ain’t got shit on me

Jasmine St. Claire couldn’t hit on me

I’m on TV, you couldn’t spit on me

I’m your addiction, you ain’t kicking me

We’re rage-bait trolls with a TV studio

Here’s some pictures of Miguel and Julio

A gay couple with a son of their own

Remember their faces, they’ll never make it home

 

CHORUS 3

If it chaps your ass, then we get paid

We’re like real porn stars, always getting laid

Remember shit-eating grins as the camera fades

‘Cause we’re driving sports cars, disaster porn stars

Capitalism is your permanent system

Rich is what we are, disaster porn stars

Why All the Cartoons?

Alright…I think I owe everyone here an explanation as to why there have been so many political cartoons uploaded to my blog all at once. No, I didn’t get hacked, they are my drawings and I stand by those messages. In fact, cartooning has been a hobby of mine whenever my schizophrenic brain was too tired and too burned out to write stories or write poems. I can draw a cartoon anytime I want, whereas I have to wait a million years, maybe longer, to have the energy for writing stories and poetry. So yeah, that’s why I have a bunch of cartoons in my blog now. There will be so many more to come since I’ve been doing it throughout most of 2025, but I figured you guys deserved an explanation. I’m pacing myself with the upload schedule because it’s fucking tedious and drains me of energy pretty quickly. Stay tuned!

Shoot Your Shot

Shoot your shot, you’ve got nothing to lose

Except your self-esteem when she says, “I refuse”

Except a lawsuit where you never stood a chance

It's a permanent ban from a life of romance

 

I never took the time to show you how to do it

Flirting should come naturally, but you never knew it

Everything you know about the birds and the bees

Comes from online porn and erotic fantasies

 

I thought you would’ve learned from all your interactions

In your math classes while you’re learning subtraction

In your chemistry course about magnetic attraction

But you kept to yourself to protect your mental health

 

It’s not like you grew up with some Pulitzer winners

Who would ever invite you to a Met Gala dinner

They were bullies who punched down as a source of laughter

Why interact with people when it’s peace that you’re after?

 

You graduated college, but you don’t have any knowledge

On matters of the heart, because you don’t know where to start

You have to start somewhere, but you can’t find the bottom

Except in economic status and apartments so rotten

 

It used to be easy when the chemicals in their brains

Made the girls hot and horny, absolutely insane

It’s a little harder now that you don’t have social status

The ladies raced to the top and they were always the fastest

 

I bet you wish more people tried to understand

That it’s hard as hell to hold another woman’s hand

You could be movie star handsome and funny as fuck

But if she says no, then you’re shit out of luck

 

Now I understand why there’s a lock on your door

On the world wide web, you can’t be ignored

Press the play button and checkmark the loop

Nothing can stop you from shooting dude soup

 

You jokingly call it DIY lovemaking

When it comes to virginity, no volunteers are taking

You want something done right, you do it yourself

Hyper-independence comes from traumatized hell

S.K.I.P.

VERSE 1

Jeffrey Dahmer, mmm-mmm, good!

He ain’t got a damn thing on a Klansman in a hood

Henry Lucas, equal opportunity

He never met a cop who didn’t give himself immunity

John Wayne Gacy, crawlspace hotel

The IDF’s Abrahamic, but they slithered out of hell

Richard Ramirez, stick it in and out

You can count on brainwashing to keep you in doubt

 

CHORUS

Serial Killers In Power!

SKIP, SKIP, SKIP, SKIP!

Mr. White Power gets all of his flowers

Mr. Red Pill gave them on his free will

Mr. Capitalist keeps pumping black mist

Serial Killers In Power!

 

VERSE 2

Alex De Large, let’s have a nozh scrap

Still got a lower body count than an ICE trap

Jerome Johns, Master of the Spinneroony

But the stories on the news are the real horror movies

Lucy Butler, touching and teasing

Couldn’t kill more people than unvaccinated sneezing

All they need to do is cut off federal funding

And congratulations, they’re the next Ted Bundy

 

CHORUS

Serial Killers In Power!

SKIP, SKIP, SKIP, SKIP!

Mr. White Power gets all of his flowers

Mr. Red Pill gave them on his free will

Mr. Capitalist keeps pumping black mist

Serial Killers In Power!

 

VERSE 3

You wouldn’t give launch codes to Phil Garrido

He’d bomb everyone and anyone who has a pink burrito

You wouldn’t let Ariel Castro in the treasury

He’d spend the money on girls, tell them, “Pleasure me!”

You wouldn’t let Kyle Rittenhouse have a bazooka

But an AR-15 is good for Senor La Puta

The orange monster told you all who he was

You surrendered your souls, ‘cause in murder you trust

 

CHORUS

Serial Killers In Power!

SKIP, SKIP, SKIP, SKIP!

Mr. White Power gets all of his flowers

Mr. Red Pill gave them on his free will

Mr. Capitalist keeps pumping black mist

Serial Killers In Power!

 

OUTRO X2

True Crime never goes out of business

We got a monopoly, we all bear witness

The solution is right there in front of your face

Yet you stick it out there, give the leopards a taste

Break Me Down

VERSE 1

You could play the guitar like a rock god superstar

Tackle dudes in football, smash them through the walls

Write the greatest novels while fucking supermodels

Sing like a birdie, like you’re sexy and flirty

Make video essays about the politics of death rays

Paint a pretty picture of the Grand Canyon’s fissure

Shoot three-point shots from across the parking lot

It doesn’t mean a damn thing if it’s fascism you bring

 

CHORUS 1

If you try to break me down

You lose the right to wear your crown

I’ve got no respect

For boots on necks

Take a look around

I’m not the only one making this sound

 

VERSE 2

You could make enough money to buy and sell the world

Pay for you and your friends to fuck little baby girls

Fly around the globe in your smog-spewing jet

Relax on your yacht, make some MMA bets

Hold positions in the government you don’t deserve

Commit genocide on the people that you serve

Turn yourself into a Dunning-Kruger chart

Take a nice big whiff of your flowery farts

 

CHORUS 2

Don’t try to break me down

I don’t care what my scale says in pounds

I don’t give a fuck

About your tanks and trucks

Take a look around

The whole world thinks that you’re a clown

 

CHORUS 3

Why’re you trying to break me down?

You’re not where the greatness is found

Meritocracy

Makes no sense to me

Take a look around

The rising tides will make sure that you’ll drown

But let’s lift the boats and turn them into GOATs

Enjoy Prison

Uncle Sam taught you the way of the fist

And that murder is the answer when you’re mildly pissed

And that you can blame your crimes on war trauma

Give your own friends trauma, lead to courtroom drama

They describe all the pranks you pulled upon them

And how you told them to take it like they’re manly men

And how you called them every bigoted slur in the book

Lifelong sentence, now you’re on the fucking hook

 

Enjoy prison! It’s the closest thing to war

Being a civilian was just too much of a bore

You went stir crazy without your automatic

Now you can throw fists for free without causing any panic

The prison guards turn the other cheek

While your rape victims can’t shit right for a week

While their purple bruises show the cell block who loses

Their broken bones couldn’t hold partition phones

 

Enjoy prison! Your dinner tastes like diarrhea

It’s like every ration meal since the war in Korea

Maggots here, flies there, maybe some long hair

Taxes could provide better, but the state doesn’t care

But that’s okay, because it reminds you of war

You’re the baddest motherfucker in the whole damn Corps

All those pushups and burpees prepared you for combat

If a riot broke out, you’d get your ass right on that

 

Enjoy prison! What’re they going to do?

Bump it up to never-ever? You’re already screwed

You forgot about solitary, oops, you fucked up

Ask the warden for forgiveness, he’ll say, “Shut up!”

It’s just the darkness and what’s left of your mind

As it eats itself alive just like it did in wartime

Are those pills used to treat the worst parts of you?

No, they’re pebbles, but you can swallow those too

 

Enjoy prison! Because you’re never getting out

You’re a POW with not one escape route

SEAL Team Six ain’t coming to save you

Just be thankful for the medal Uncle Sam gave you

It could have been currency in the prison economy

But you killed all your trust with the bloody sodomy

All you’ve ever wanted was a license to kill

But all you’re killing is time, it stands perfectly still

AK Spray Is the Only Way

INTRO

I don’t want stress management skills

I want an AK-47

I don’t want to negotiate with my abusers

I want an AK-47

I don’t want to apologize to angry customers

I want an AK-47

Because AK spray is the only way!

 

VERSE 1

You can call me a cosplay revolutionary

You can say I’m no different from a bloody mercenary

You can call me an edgelord visionary

You can call me undesirable and say you’ll never marry

But all I want is justice, a little bit of substance

To go with the speeches of authority’s reaches

Violence is the language of the voiceless

Desperation is the language of the choiceless

 

CHORUS

AK spray is the only way

To turn every day into Judgment Day

I can play God while you play them like a fiddle

Here’s a rain of bullets to meet you in the middle

 

VERSE 2

Childhood trauma killed all my potential

And they’re the ones with the nerve to call me mental

Blame me for my own pain, do it for their own gain

And all I’ve got is, “I’m fine” when I’m asked if I’m okay

Nothing like a smoking barrel to loosen their lips

World’s easiest confessions, descend the iceberg tip

Even they know the lake of fire’s a one-way trip

Scan their boarding passes, they’re called bullets in their asses

 

CHORUS

AK spray is the only way

To turn every day into Judgment Day

I can play God while you play them like a fiddle

Here’s a rain of bullets to meet you in the middle

 

BRIDGE

When the senators and reps break all their promises

When the Thin Blue Line takes a million hostages

Logic and reason never permeate their brains

But a flood of bullets will, now clean up all the stains

 

CHORUS

AK spray is the only way

To turn every day into Judgment Day

I can play God while you play them like a fiddle

Here’s a rain of bullets to meet you in the middle

It’s just a fantasy and my words are only words

It’s my very best defense from being called a jailbird

But only privilege and riches will get the benefit of the doubt

The womb’s the way in, electric chair’s the way out

Troll's Tears

If my mini fridge wasn’t stocked with Mountain Dews

Cans of troll’s tears are what I’d choose

Not a scarce resource, I’d stay hydrated forever

‘Cause those bitches are crying like it’s rainy weather

Is it any coincidence that it tastes so salty?

You got to be salty if petty is what you call me

Jealousy and envy over individuality

They’re mediocre and plain, that’s their whole reality

They see the world through a black and white lens

It makes me wonder how they have any friends

They’re a bigger pain in the ass than a colonoscopy

Bigger pain than rectal cancer shown in the autopsy

Maybe their bodies on a table is a bunch of wishful thinking

There’s no thinking from them, just some Kool-Aid drinking

Every troll looks the same because they are the same

Trying to out-suck each other in a competitive game

There are no gold medals for their basic bitch statuses

Maybe that explains why they’re so damn mad at us

They’d kill for some color in their plain vanilla world

They’d kill someone anyways, maybe a cute girl

A chick who turned them down in front of the whole town

For being a big nothingburger and an even bigger clown

The only thing bigger is the size of their egos

Yet they’re fragile like glass despite their macho ethos

These pathetic motherfuckers aren’t worth my time

I’ll drink their tears and keep on pumping out rhymes

Voice of Reason

CHORUS

No one would believe me when I had a story to tell

They bent the knee to the powers that be

They’re too afraid of burning in hell

You’re not the voice of reason, you’re enabling treason

You’re handing out forgiveness like it’s Christmas season

A seat at my table should always be earned

Fuck the crosses you burned

What are the lessons you’ve learned?

 

VERSE 1

You want me to compromise with the ones who tell lies

And give them any credence like they’re just as wise

Shake hands with the Klan for your economic plan

Where we come together for this capitalist cheddar

One for all and all for one

But what will you do now that the damage is done?

Marginalization is institutionalization

But at least we can agree this is a badass nation

 

CHORUS

No one would believe me when I had a story to tell

They bent the knee to the powers that be

They’re too afraid of burning in hell

You’re not the voice of reason, you’re enabling treason

You’re handing out forgiveness like it’s Christmas season

A seat at my table should always be earned

Fuck the crosses you burned

What are the lessons you’ve learned?

 

VERSE 2

You call it unity when you fit the square pegs

Into the round holes while the beggars beg

We’re all equal because we all look the same

As we’re playing Monopoly, a real-life game

Say nighty-nighty, give your dreams to the mighty

It’s for the common good even with the white hoods

In the end, we’ll all be ground up into sausage

But at least we won the war, ‘cause the street trash lost it

 

VERSE 3

You’re not riding the fence, you’re riding the dick

Of Agent 47 who should be 86ed

You say you love us all, but you won’t answer the call

You’ll be so far away when another tower falls

Of course you’re apathetic and it’s kind of pathetic

How you use your privilege to rewrite and edit

The story of history through your eyes, not theirs

You’re so rich and lionized that you don’t have to care

 

CHORUS

No one would believe me when I had a story to tell

They bent the knee to the powers that be

They’re too afraid of burning in hell

You’re not the voice of reason, you’re enabling treason

You’re handing out forgiveness like it’s Christmas season

A seat at my table should always be earned

Fuck the crosses you burned

What are the lessons you’ve learned?

 

OUTRO

No small surprise where the center really lies

You’re the center of the universe, now everything’s worse

You sang kumbaya with jackboot-wearing thugs

Future civilizations will wonder if we’re on drugs