Kleptometer

VERSE 1

You had decades to put two slugs in my chest

And you couldn’t be bothered to give me your best

You spent your whole life in agony because I exist

For the love of god, move on, because we all insist

You need around-the-clock care for your butthurt derriere

You failed on purpose, yet you say it’s not fair

That I breathe in greatness and breathe out revolution

While you’re writing angry essays on The Final Solution

 

CHORUS

I’m so happy that I wasted your time

Not a great place to stick all your nickels and dimes

Save your Benjamins and Hamiltons for NFTs

The kleptometer’s readings are really sending me

 

VERSE 2

Put some money in my wallet just like you should

Then you say you’ll go nuclear if my work isn’t good

Sight unseen is how you describe your purchase

But you already decided that my thoughts are worthless

Guys like you and me have never been equal

We share the biology, but we’re two different people

You put too much stock in burning down the whole planet

And you blow a gasket when I say I won’t have it

 

CHORUS

I’m so happy that I wasted your time

Not a great place to stick all your nickels and dimes

Save your Benjamins and Hamiltons for NFTs

The kleptometer’s readings are really sending me

 

VERSE 3

Curiosity never once killed the cat

It never killed anyone, what do you think about that?

But sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong

Is so much worse when you think you’re never wrong

I’ve got a lifetime of lessons I could pass down to you

But you’re special, so you don’t need anything new

Just keep opening your mouth for a helping of slop

And keep on chowing down until your belly pops

 

CHORUS

I’m so happy that I wasted your time

Not a great place to stick all your nickels and dimes

Save your Benjamins and Hamiltons for NFTs

The kleptometer’s readings are really sending me

 

OUTRO

Tick, tock, tick, tock

Your palms are sweating as you count down the clock

Tick, tock, tick, tock

Only minutes remain until you’re stiff as a rock

Tick, tock, tick, tock

You could have forged any path you wanted to

Tick, tock, tick, tock

Now you take your last breath, bitch face goes blue

Break Me Down

VERSE 1

You could play the guitar like a rock god superstar

Tackle dudes in football, smash them through the walls

Write the greatest novels while fucking supermodels

Sing like a birdie, like you’re sexy and flirty

Make video essays about the politics of death rays

Paint a pretty picture of the Grand Canyon’s fissure

Shoot three-point shots from across the parking lot

It doesn’t mean a damn thing if it’s fascism you bring

 

CHORUS 1

If you try to break me down

You lose the right to wear your crown

I’ve got no respect

For boots on necks

Take a look around

I’m not the only one making this sound

 

VERSE 2

You could make enough money to buy and sell the world

Pay for you and your friends to fuck little baby girls

Fly around the globe in your smog-spewing jet

Relax on your yacht, make some MMA bets

Hold positions in the government you don’t deserve

Commit genocide on the people that you serve

Turn yourself into a Dunning-Kruger chart

Take a nice big whiff of your flowery farts

 

CHORUS 2

Don’t try to break me down

I don’t care what my scale says in pounds

I don’t give a fuck

About your tanks and trucks

Take a look around

The whole world thinks that you’re a clown

 

CHORUS 3

Why’re you trying to break me down?

You’re not where the greatness is found

Meritocracy

Makes no sense to me

Take a look around

The rising tides will make sure that you’ll drown

But let’s lift the boats and turn them into GOATs

Breathe Again

VERSE 1

It’s like deer hunting, with a camera, not a gun

Learning again that life should be fun

For every shadow that darkens your sunny day

There’s a candle that lights the rest of the way

Gratitude is underrated, but no less important

Even the smallest details cure you of boredom

Rock song, kitty cat, RPG, more of that

Eat candy, grow fat, home run with a bat

CHORUS

Just breathe

Breathe again

Just breathe

Make the world your very best friend

VERSE 2

Finding magic in the most ordinary

Finding strength for the burden you carry

Finding a way through life’s obstacles

Finding solutions for the impossible

Finding a world beyond death itself

Finding a reason to live in good health

Finding a path that leads out of your bed

And never forgetting the sweet words said

EXTENDED CHORUS 1

Just breathe

Breathe again

Just breathe

Make the world your very best friend

Just breathe

Breathe once more

Just breathe

Spread your angel wings and soar

VERSE 3

It’s not rock bottom if it has a foundation

It’s not death if you still rise to the occasion

It’s not failure if you gained an education

It’s not over even after life’s expiration

It’s not hell if there’s no damnation

It’s not prison if there’s clear exoneration

It’s not hatred if it’s beyond infatuation

Let’s do it all again like it’s reincarnation

EXTENDED CHORUS 2

Just breathe

Breathe again

Just breathe

A new beginning is not the end

Just breathe

Breathe once more

Just breathe

Ask what else life has in store

Just breathe

Breathe again