Everybody's Got One Except Me

VERSE 1

Is she a piece of eye candy or a piece of ass?

The summer solstice has not yet passed

Put her in a bikini so tiny and teeny

After she upchucks a plate of tortellini

The magazine told her that she’s not worth it

Unless she makes a thousand dollar makeup purchase

The media likes to play with her battered brain

Her Stockholm Syndrome is for you to maintain

PRE-CHORUS 1

It feels good to have a story

That nobody is ignoring

To have the scars tell your tale

Of how you’ll never fail

You got a lucky charm, my guy

And it always seems like…

CHORUS

Everybody’s got one except me

Everybody’s got one except me

Too lazy for basic empathy

Everybody’s got one except me

VERSE 2

You also got a job that pays by the millions

And your own fan base by the fucking billions

And a car that zooms down the autobahn

There’s no way your image isn’t more than a con

PRE-CHORUS 2

It feels good to live in comfort

Feels good to not be encumbered

To have your riches tell your legacy

Of how you haven’t a single enemy

You got a golden horseshoe, my dude

And this is my attitude…

CHORUS

Everybody’s got one except me

Everybody’s got one except me

Too lazy for basic empathy

Everybody’s got one except me

BRIDGE

They call you an influencer

With a case of affluenza

They call you a celebrity

The world’s methamphetamine

They call you a politician

Wall Street’s financial nutrition

They call you God, because why fucking not?

An undefeated streak is all you were taught

EXTENDED CHORUS

Everybody’s got one except me

Everybody’s got one except me

Too lazy for basic empathy

Everybody’s got one except me

Everybody’s jealous except you

Everybody’s jealous except you

Everything you say is true

Everybody’s jealous except you

Romantic Dinner For One

I look around in this cruise ship restaurant
See things I can’t have, but desperately want
Missed opportunities gone with the wind
Sloth has always been my favorite sin

A newlywed couple celebrating their love
Wife dressed like an angel from the heavens above
Husband feeding her strawberries and cream
Won her over by treating her like a queen

A college graduate partying with his friends
Looking at life through a rainbow-colored lens
He’ll make money most will never ever see
More competitive fuel for his Face Book screen

A child dreaming big as she eats chicken nuggets
Untainted by reality, she appreciates and loves it
Drawing pictures of dinosaurs and dragons
I’m over here trying to fight off the maggots

A sportsball team celebrating their victory
Their names immortalized in gritty history
Eat like heavyweights, move like flyweights
Calories to burn from steaks and white cakes

A pale young man has just beaten his addiction
He could inspire others in a book of nonfiction
Was it heroin, beer, social media, or food?
I could use some ice cream to go with my mood

Whoever said the internet breeds bitter jealousy
Never had to dance to their own tragic melodies
In a room full of strangers who live like kings
Romantic dinner for one, the song that I sing

Don’t need sympathy, just some understanding
I reached for the stars, but had a crash landing
They say there’s no time limit for life to begin
I’m still waiting for the day I can finally win

Jealousy

***JEALOUSY***

In the age of social media, it’s easier than ever to compare and contrast yourself to other people. When you see one of your friends on Face Book getting married, you wonder why it’s not happening to you. When you see a Deviant Art buddy getting an ass-load of faves, you wonder why you don’t have any at all, let alone any views. When you see a Good Reads author achieve an average rating of 4:5 stars on one of their novels, you wonder why yours is below the 3.0 mark. The more we subject ourselves to this kind of comparative thinking, the more depressed we become. The easy solution would be to just stop comparing your life progress to your friends.

In the words of whoever sang the theme to Kingdom Hearts, “I don’t think life is quite that simple.” In the writing world, jealousy works both ways. I’ve had authors be jealous of me and I’ve been jealous of other authors. It’s perfectly natural to feel this way as long as it doesn’t consume you and turn you against the people you love. But that’s the thing: it is all consuming. It does eat away at the soul. I even have examples from my own life to prove this.

There are plenty of reasons to be jealous of another writer, but the one thing I envy above all others is the ability to write god knows how many words in the span of one day. Or one hour. Or half an hour. Or fifteen minutes. I get on Face Book all the time and see that this author is bragging about writing fifty thousand words in the span of a week, thus completing their novel. This author I speak of has an ass-load of books to their name too, each with high ratings on Good Reads and Amazon, so it’s not like any of this hard work is going to waste. Me? I consider myself lucky if I’m in the mental state to write a five-paragraph review for a forty page book. My foggy state of mind is a constant source of ire for me, so when I see other authors pumping out novels like hotcakes, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous.

And then there were times when other authors were jealous of me (I can’t imagine why). Those who have followed me on social media for a long time know that I like to write blog entries about vacations I’m going on or rock concerts I’m attending. Last year in 2018, I’ve been to eight different concerts. This year, I’ve already seen three and I have four more in the future. And yes, I’m as braggadocios as the Face Book author who boasts about writing a gazillion words in three days, or whatever the statistic was. Going to rock concerts is something not everyone can afford to do on a regular basis, whether it has to do with work/school schedules, family emergencies, physical disabilities, or just not having enough money for it. So I’m going to try my damnedest to keep my concert talk to a minimum. I’ll still post them as life events on Face Book, but that’s all you’ll get from me.

While it is natural to feel jealous of other people in your life, the one thing you should never wish for is to swap lives with your friends or family. The one thing we all have in common is our pain. When you ask to swap lives with someone you’re jealous of, you take the bad with the good. Suppose you’re jealous of a friend who got married during a seven day trip at Universal Studios. That sounds like a shit-load of fun, but there’s a whole lot going on with that person that you don’t know about. He could be depressed and hiding it really well. He could have mountains of college debt. He could be a pariah in his neighborhood. Just because you see the best version of another person on social media, doesn’t mean you should wish for his life. Everyone has their pain and we all deal with it in our own unique way.

I don’t talk about my personal pain a lot on social media, so when I do it this time around, I hope it’ll ease some of the jealousy you have of my concerts, vacations, or whatever else is going on. You all know by now that I’m schizophrenic, overweight, and constantly tired all the time, right? Now here are some things you probably don’t know. I’ve been unemployed all of my life (except for volunteer work). My mother is having severe mobility issues and needs a walker to get around. I don’t know how to drive a car nor do I own one myself, so I’m confined to my bedroom most of the time. I’m painfully shy in big social situations, so my friends in this town are few and far between. My brother is dealing with bipolar disorder and had a few breakdowns recently. Okay, that’s enough for now. This isn’t a pain contest, but you get what I’m saying. You don’t want my life and I don’t want yours. We all have our own stories to tell and our own destinies going forward. Let it be that way.

If you’re going to be jealous of another person, don’t let it consume your life. The one thing authors need to remember is that we’re one big family who helps each other during the toughest times. This isn’t a competitive field. This is a tag team main event. That’s why I didn’t use names when I gave examples of jealousy, because those people are my friends through and through and I don’t want to paint them in a negative light. We can get shit done together if we put our minds to it. What’s that I always say at the end of my blog entries? Oh yeah, it’s…even when you feel like dying, keep climbing the mountain!

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“You’re giving me too many things. Lately, you’re all I need. You smiled at me and said, “Don’t get me wrong, I love you, but does that mean I have to meet your father?” When we are older, you’ll understand what I meant when I said, “No, I don’t think life is quite that simple.” The daily things that keep us all busy are confusing me. That’s when you came to me and said, “Wish I could prove I love you, but does that mean I have to walk on water?” When we are older, you’ll understand it’s enough when I say so. And maybe some things are that simple. When you walk away, you don’t hear me say, “Please! Oh baby, don’t go!” Simple and clean is the way that you’re making me feel tonight. It’s hard to let it go. Hold me. Whatever lies beyond this morning is a little later on. Regardless of warnings, the future doesn’t scare me at all. Nothing’s like before.”

-“Simple and Clean” from Kingdom Hearts-

Let Them Cry

VERSE 1

There’s always one asshole out of the bunch

Who wants to eat your self-esteem for lunch

He doesn’t like the way you dress

He wouldn’t hate your ass any less

He doesn’t like the way you look

Punishes you for the chance you took

He can’t stand the fact that you’re even alive

He has the maturity of someone less than five

CHORUS

Let them cry! Let them cry!

For you are many and will never die!

Let them cry! Let them cry!

Until their eyeballs are fucking dry!

VERSE 2

Some people hate everything on the planet

Calling everybody “freaks” and “faggots”

Some people don’t know what happiness is

Some people have the mental age of six

CHORUS

Let them cry! Let them cry!

For you are many and will never die!

Let them cry! Let them cry!

Until their eyeballs are fucking dry!

BRIDGE

Don’t let the world get you down

Don’t listen to their asonia sounds

Don’t change for any woman or man

Giant size is how tall you’ll stand

VERSE 3

Take your success and laugh in his face

Let him cringe like his eyes are full of mace

Let him crawl into his safest space

You’ve earned your right to run this place

EXTENDED CHORUS

Let them cry! Let them cry!

For you are many and will never die!

Let them cry! Let them cry!

Until their eyeballs are fucking dry!

Let them whine! Let them bitch!

Let them crawl into a ditch!

Let them cry until the end of time!

Their two cents aren’t worth a thin dime!

Goddess of Hate

VERSE 1

You took a struggle for many and made it a big joke

Taking the biggest of shots at the biggest of folks

You’re no beauty yourself, you’re ugly as sin

Your war on the world is one you cannot win

Eighty percent of people don’t look like you

I bet that makes you want to boil and stew

We called you out and you hid from the limelight

Hated being knocked from your perch so sky high

CHORUS

Goddess of Hate! X4

VERSE 2

Beating your boyfriend must make you so tough

But when he puts you on blast, you’ve had enough

Projecting yourself when you call him a bitch

Claiming every story is about getting rich

He doesn’t need you or your jealous ways

He doesn’t need you to make his family prey

If there was ever a time for the phrase “lock her up”

It applies to you, you disgusting mother fuck

CHORUS

Goddess of Hate! X4

VERSE 3

Are you happy now? You got your attention

In the hall of shame, you got your due mention

But that’s okay, just flip the double birds again

I’m sure that will get you plenty of new friends

EXTENDED CHORUS

Goddess of Hate!

Sealed your fate!

Took your own bait!

Gotcha! Checkmate!

Goddess of Hate!

Throwing your weight!

Give us a break!

From all your hate!

Why Won't You Love Me?

VERSE 1

An autograph for your necrograph

Yet you turn away and belly laugh

Tell the world I’m damaged goods

I’m a psycho hiding out in the woods

Imagination short circuited by pills

Wasted potential killed off by the ills

Scandalous past kicking my own ass

The quiet one in the back of the class

CHORUS

Why won’t you love me?

Why do you shove me?

Enough room in my heart for an army

Even for the ones who try to harm me

Why won’t you love me?

You’re so high above me

Enough room in my mind for a choir

Love me or leave me, down to the wire

VERSE 2

Jealousy is a sincere form of flattery

Exclusion is a real form of battery

Failure is the true root of all agony

Suffering is the beginning of tragedy

I see you flying like a golden angel

My wings are bent at a funny angle

I’ll see you on the bottom of the barrel

I’ll find you when I’m lonely and feral

CHORUS

Why won’t you love me?

Why do you shove me?

Enough room in my heart for an army

Even for the ones who try to harm me

Why won’t you love me?

You’re so high above me

Enough room in my mind for a choir

Love me or leave me, down to the wire

VERSE 3

My passion won’t allow me to let go

My anxiety won’t allow me to know

The answer to this riddle called life

No matter how I hard I fucking try

They tell me to be patient and wait

Until the day I’m at the pearly gates

Work harder than I’ve ever worked

Until I blow a fuse and go berserk

PRE-CHORUS

Why won’t you love me?

Why won’t you care?

Why do the masses

Give me a blank stare?

Why won’t you love me?

Why won’t you join me?

Could my cries for help

Be that fucking annoying?

CHORUS

Why won’t you love me?

Why do you shove me?

Enough room in my heart for an army

Even for the ones who try to harm me

Why won’t you love me?

You’re so high above me

Enough room in my mind for a choir

Love me or leave me, down to the wire

Leon De Taj

Not since William Wallace has anybody been able to shoot lightning bolts out of their ass quite like Leon De Taj. Actually, that sounds like a very painful bowel movement waiting to happen. I hope Leon doesn’t have to do a colon cleanse anytime soon. Maybe it’ll be better if he shoots all of his lightning bolts from his fingertips and perhaps from the back of his throat like a dragon would. We don’t need a dark fantasy version of Ren & Stimpy anytime soon.

All joking aside, if you need somebody to electrocute a savage beast, a fire breathing dragon, or a barbaric orc, Leon De Taj is your man. In the same way that necromancers deal in death and pyromancers deal in fire, Leon, a bona fide electromancer, is an expert in throwing lightning wherever it is needed.

He’s so good at his occupation that he could get a job powering Las Vegas’ neon signs and maybe get paid some serious overtime. He might also find his calling as a Texas-based executioner since they love to kill their prisoners with the electric chair so much. Then again, if he did that, they might accuse him of witchcraft and nail him to a cross. Bad idea, scratch that.

What you really need to know about Leon De Taj is that he’s more than just a limitless energy source. He’s also a hopeless romantic. When last he was used, it was in a movie script called Tower of Heaven. The premise of this movie was that bloodthirsty monsters called Intimidators took over the earth and the Tower of Heaven was the only place civilians could be safe from these dangerous warriors.

It would take a real backstabber to ruin a safe haven such as that. Leon became that backstabber when his girlfriend was taken away from him by the main character of the story, Terrato Matrix. Leon became so jealous that he removed the magical barrier from around the Tower of Heaven just so he could get back at that one guy who seduced his girl.

You talk about a real sourpuss, that’s it man. This is one case that Clark Gable III and Joey Greco would be both well advised to stay away from. I can picture Bob Magruder’s voiceover right now. “Leon De Taj. Age 25. An electromancer accused of calling down the thunder and reaping the whirlwind on his relationships.”

If this extreme jealousy is going to work in a story that hasn’t been scrapped yet, Leon would have to have been with this girl for a long, long time. Their connection must be deeper than a shallow bikini party or a one-night fling that resulted in a pregnancy. He’s 25 years old as Bob Magruder said, so maybe he knew this girl since middle school. Middle school can bring about a lot of hormone-induced feelings.

No matter what I end up doing with this character, lightning and testosterone will never make for a romantic mix.

　

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“Pain! Without love. Pain! I can’t get enough. Pain! I like it rough, ‘cause I’d rather feel pain than nothing at all.”

-Three Days Grace singing “Pain”-