Showing posts with label Critics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Critics. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 30, 2026
Tuesday, October 15, 2019
Paying Your Dues
VERSE 1
All your horror stories will come with a price
All your greatest fears will come back to life
You got your ass cancelled for no good reason
All of your fans have been accused of treason
This is what it means when you pay your dues
Screaming heavy metal, yet singing the blues
Your interest rate is up to a hundred percent
Many more lonely nights is what you’ll spend
CHORUS 1
Paying your dues is what your critics choose
Paying your dues means you sometimes lose
Paying your dues will tax your ass raw
Steel your spine and tighten your jaw
VERSE 2
Nobody said that this would be easy
Nobody said that this would be pleasing
It’s all a part of life if you like it or not
Always somebody to steal your spot
CHORUS 1
Paying your dues is what your critics choose
Paying your dues means you sometimes lose
Paying your dues will tax your ass raw
Steel your spine and tighten your jaw
VERSE 3
Everybody gets what they paid for in the end
Even if it costs them every one of their friends
Even if it costs them their own damn health
Guarantees them a place in their own hell
Despite all the pain, you could fail again
Back to square one, far away from the end
Everyone knows this ain’t a meritocracy
But they cover it up with their own hypocrisy
CHORUS 2
Paying your dues ain’t no ocean cruise
Paying your dues comes with an ego bruise
Paying your dues will break you in half
When you scale to the top, it’s okay to laugh
This is Mount Everest
reaching to the stars
This will show the world how tough you are
I hope you get everything you’ve wanted
You and the elite have much in common
Thursday, October 11, 2018
Let Them Cry
VERSE 1
There’s always one asshole out of the bunch
Who wants to eat your self-esteem for lunch
He doesn’t like the way you dress
He wouldn’t hate your ass any less
He doesn’t like the way you look
Punishes you for the chance you took
He can’t stand the fact that you’re even alive
He has the maturity of someone less than five
CHORUS
Let them cry! Let them cry!
For you are many and will never die!
Let them cry! Let them cry!
Until their eyeballs are fucking dry!
VERSE 2
Some people hate everything on the planet
Calling everybody “freaks” and “faggots”
Some people don’t know what happiness is
Some people have the mental age of six
CHORUS
Let them cry! Let them cry!
For you are many and will never die!
Let them cry! Let them cry!
Until their eyeballs are fucking dry!
BRIDGE
Don’t let the world get you down
Don’t listen to their asonia sounds
Don’t change for any woman or man
Giant size is how tall you’ll stand
VERSE 3
Take your success and laugh in his face
Let him cringe like his eyes are full of mace
Let him crawl into his safest space
You’ve earned your right to run this place
EXTENDED CHORUS
Let them cry! Let them cry!
For you are many and will never die!
Let them cry! Let them cry!
Until their eyeballs are fucking dry!
Let them whine! Let them bitch!
Let them crawl into a ditch!
Let them cry until the end of time!
Their two cents aren’t worth a thin dime!
Wednesday, June 21, 2017
The Wolves
CHORUS
When you put yourself out there
There’s no asking, “How dare?”
They devour all the cowards
To reclaim their power
The wolves!
The wolves!
The wolves!
Put your career on hold!
VERSE 1
The world is a stage, the wolves are your audience
You hold the mike, you’re the ultimate embodiment
Of hope, strength, charisma, and leadership
They can embody love or just plain evil shit
Howl for the moon, the dark side of it
Pour your heart out, because you love it
If you miss a beat, it’s your flesh they’ll eat
There’re no short cuts, there’s no way to cheat
CHORUS
When you put yourself out there
There’s no asking, “How dare?”
They devour all the cowards
To reclaim their power
The wolves!
The wolves!
The wolves!
Put your career on hold!
VERSE 2
The wolves are reading every one of your words
In order to decide if they’ll chew you like a bird
Fill your dead body with the filthiest of worms
Watch your career die, watch your family burn
It could be as simple as an auto correction
Or a casual joke about a rapist’s erection
Or a full diatribe about how people should die
You’re more delicious to the wolves than apple pie
BRIDGE
Throw your ass to the wolves for being so bold!
Throw you out in the snow to go numb in the cold!
Put your life’s work on an auction block to be sold!
A pocketful of change is what you now hold!
VERSE 3
You can’t be an autocrat to the pack of wolves
You can’t rip their hearts out and eat their souls
No matter how many times you cry out to the skies
Not one motherfucker is going to feed you kind lies
These hungry beasts only dabble in the truth
They don’t give a shit about egotistical youth
They don’t care if you’re dying of hunger
If you fuck up, you’ll be buried six feet under
CHORUS
When you put yourself out there
There’s no asking, “How dare?”
They devour all the cowards
To reclaim their power
The wolves!
The wolves!
The wolves!
Put your career on hold!
Friday, May 22, 2015
Lawrence Moody
NAME: Lawrence Moody
AGE: 43
OCCUPATION: Romance Author
CANON: It’s Just a Story
Whenever a celebrity is accused of bigotry, it can be a traumatizing experience for that person, especially if he or she is innocent of those charges. Does anybody remember a former UFC bantamweight fighter named Miguel Torres? He was once fired from the company for tweeting a rape joke.
The backlash against him was brutal and maybe he deserved some of that. But in order to ease himself of the trauma, he donated his time and money to rape shelters in Chicago and took sensitivity classes. He was subsequently rehired by the UFC. Dana White could be quoted as saying, “Everybody fucks up. It’s what you do afterwards that makes you who you are.”
And thus we have a segue into Lawrence Moody, a romance author who gears his books toward piggish male fantasies and responds to his critics not by apologizing or taking sensitivity classes, but by physically assaulting them or arranging to have them beaten by police or security detail. The most disgusting part about this? Most of his critics are women and Lawrence is much bigger than all of them.
It didn’t help matters that Lawrence was dating a Filipino model named Venice Reyes and used her sexy photographs as part of the covers to his novels. If anybody needed to be convinced of Lawrence’s “innocence”, it was Venice. The couple got into many arguments over the subject of sexism, mostly while trying to get away from angry female protesters who threw eggs with stinging impact.
Lawrence could do his damnedest to try and convince Venice that he was just a normal guy and not a bigot, but when she actually read his recent novel, she found out what exactly it was he was promoting: wife swapping. Their final argument ended when Lawrence accidentally shoved Venice down the stairs of their home and crushed her skull. The story concluded with Mr. Moody turning himself in to the police.
The fact that I didn’t get any backlash from writing this 12-page story was a stroke of luck. After all, Lawrence was portrayed as the hero and the feminist protesters and critics were the evil antagonists. Originally, I wrote this story to prove the point that zeal, no matter what form it comes in, is no good for anybody. But instead it read like a chauvinist manifesto that I’m now ashamed of.
While it didn’t happen for this story, I have been accused of bigotry before whether it was against women, children, or just plain guys from the deep south. Suffering that wave of verbal assaults was traumatizing for me. Sometimes I would respond by screaming in my critics’ faces and it would bring about even more backlash than before. When I actually apologized for my actions and told the truth of not being bigoted, things calmed down and were much happier for me.
Over the years, I’ve learned being diplomatic is better than being violent. Hatred breeds more hatred while love breeds more love. During the times I was accused of bigotry, I wasn’t aware that I was being prejudiced in the first place. I actually thought those things were normal. Thanks to a broader worldview and a lot of experience, I know how to cool down the fires I start, intentional or not.
If I ever do use Lawrence Moody again, it won’t be in a heroic fashion. He will be portrayed as an example of what NOT to do if you’re an artist of any kind. He will be aggressive. He will be unsympathetic. He will be everything my audience hates in a villain. When he is conquered by his own boiling cauldron of hot rage, he will deserve every minute of his suffering.
He may take the form of a sexist romance author. He may be a politician. He may even be part of the top one-percent of the top one-percent, in which case, he better be ready for Mr. Robot to serve his ass on a platter. No matter what role he takes, Lawrence Moody will never speak for my misguided past ever again.
***CELEBRITY QUOTE OF THE DAY***
“If a man wants you for your breasts, thighs, and legs, send him to KFC. You’re a lady, not a cheap value meal.”
-Nicholas Cage-
AGE: 43
OCCUPATION: Romance Author
CANON: It’s Just a Story
Whenever a celebrity is accused of bigotry, it can be a traumatizing experience for that person, especially if he or she is innocent of those charges. Does anybody remember a former UFC bantamweight fighter named Miguel Torres? He was once fired from the company for tweeting a rape joke.
The backlash against him was brutal and maybe he deserved some of that. But in order to ease himself of the trauma, he donated his time and money to rape shelters in Chicago and took sensitivity classes. He was subsequently rehired by the UFC. Dana White could be quoted as saying, “Everybody fucks up. It’s what you do afterwards that makes you who you are.”
And thus we have a segue into Lawrence Moody, a romance author who gears his books toward piggish male fantasies and responds to his critics not by apologizing or taking sensitivity classes, but by physically assaulting them or arranging to have them beaten by police or security detail. The most disgusting part about this? Most of his critics are women and Lawrence is much bigger than all of them.
It didn’t help matters that Lawrence was dating a Filipino model named Venice Reyes and used her sexy photographs as part of the covers to his novels. If anybody needed to be convinced of Lawrence’s “innocence”, it was Venice. The couple got into many arguments over the subject of sexism, mostly while trying to get away from angry female protesters who threw eggs with stinging impact.
Lawrence could do his damnedest to try and convince Venice that he was just a normal guy and not a bigot, but when she actually read his recent novel, she found out what exactly it was he was promoting: wife swapping. Their final argument ended when Lawrence accidentally shoved Venice down the stairs of their home and crushed her skull. The story concluded with Mr. Moody turning himself in to the police.
The fact that I didn’t get any backlash from writing this 12-page story was a stroke of luck. After all, Lawrence was portrayed as the hero and the feminist protesters and critics were the evil antagonists. Originally, I wrote this story to prove the point that zeal, no matter what form it comes in, is no good for anybody. But instead it read like a chauvinist manifesto that I’m now ashamed of.
While it didn’t happen for this story, I have been accused of bigotry before whether it was against women, children, or just plain guys from the deep south. Suffering that wave of verbal assaults was traumatizing for me. Sometimes I would respond by screaming in my critics’ faces and it would bring about even more backlash than before. When I actually apologized for my actions and told the truth of not being bigoted, things calmed down and were much happier for me.
Over the years, I’ve learned being diplomatic is better than being violent. Hatred breeds more hatred while love breeds more love. During the times I was accused of bigotry, I wasn’t aware that I was being prejudiced in the first place. I actually thought those things were normal. Thanks to a broader worldview and a lot of experience, I know how to cool down the fires I start, intentional or not.
If I ever do use Lawrence Moody again, it won’t be in a heroic fashion. He will be portrayed as an example of what NOT to do if you’re an artist of any kind. He will be aggressive. He will be unsympathetic. He will be everything my audience hates in a villain. When he is conquered by his own boiling cauldron of hot rage, he will deserve every minute of his suffering.
He may take the form of a sexist romance author. He may be a politician. He may even be part of the top one-percent of the top one-percent, in which case, he better be ready for Mr. Robot to serve his ass on a platter. No matter what role he takes, Lawrence Moody will never speak for my misguided past ever again.
***CELEBRITY QUOTE OF THE DAY***
“If a man wants you for your breasts, thighs, and legs, send him to KFC. You’re a lady, not a cheap value meal.”
-Nicholas Cage-
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