Hey, Teacher Therapy: Get Over It!

 

Sting: "When We Lie in Fields of Gold..."

New Orleans Prostitute vs. Garrison's Autism: Same Characters, New Dialogue

 

Paul Mauriat: In America's Elections, "Love Is Blue" Takes on a Whole New Meaning

 

Becky Lynch and Nikki Cross Are Not Actually Fucking Each Other (Shocking, Isn't It)

 

Toilet Paper USA X Power Slop: They Truly Deserve Each Other

 

Tonight on Lifetime: Duct Tape, Duct Tape, and More Duct Tape!

 

My Most Disturbing Drawing Since Dogmeat from Black Tar Kiss

 

Garrison Kelly vs. a Nazi Caveman a.k.a. Your Average Right-Winger

 

Tomi Lahren: Legally Blonde, Willingly Blind

 

A&W Root Beer vs. a Grumpy Old Man: His Name is Definitely Not Pronounced "doo-MAHS"

 

Piper (my cat) vs. Charlotte Flair (WWE): Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Who's the Fairest of Them All?

 

Tori the Alpha Female: Take Your Red Pills and Shove Them Up Your Asses Like Suppositories

 

Skillset Puts the MAGA in Magazine! HOO-RAH! MAN SHIT!

 

Lorena Bobbitt vs. Cornell University: You Put a Knife in Our Backs, We'll Put a Knife Somewhere Else on Your Body

 

Bret "The Hitman" Hart: Never Pulls Punches Except When He's Wrestling

 

Robert Pantelli (Terminator 2) vs. Oliver North (NRA): Unlikely Opponents, But Opponents No Less, Because I'm the Matchmaker, Damn It

 

Enter the Dragon! Again! And Again! And Again! Keep Entering It and Never Stop!

 

Lindsey Doe (Sexplanations) vs. Tucker Carlson (Fox News): Truly a Piece of Cake

 

Blaire White: A Transgender Conservative and a Walking Contradiction