Suck It

VERSE 1

You want to sue me for defamation

But it’s only legalized retaliation

For using my First Amendment rights

You’re not even American, you took a flight

Judge bangs the gavel!

Let’s start the battle!

Or I can just sit at home

Send you all a written note:

 

CHORUS

Suck it!

Suck it!

Suck it!

Suck my dick!

 

VERSE 2

Mr. Landlord, how did you learn karate?

You got a million cancer cells throughout your body

That’s what landlords are: tumors on society

You smoked a thousand ciggies, so you failed at sobriety

Post your eviction notice!

Sick your dog named Otis!

Here’s a month’s rent in a little envelope

Just kidding, it’s only a handwritten note:

 

CHORUS

Suck it!

Suck it!

Suck it!

Suck my dick!

 

BRIDGE

Everybody owes a debt to someone

Even if your life has come undone

I wasn’t born with a spoon in my mouth

I live in the north, but my life went south

 

VERSE 3

I pay everything off and you still want more

At the risk of destroying my credit score

At the risk of shopping at the dollar store

At the risk of being an orange suit whore

Your threats are empty!

You got nothing to envy!

You’re a miserable prick who never gets better

Instead of a check, here’s a two-word letter:

 

CHORUS

Suck it!

Suck it!

Suck it!

Suck it!

 

BRIDGE

Everybody owes a debt to someone

Even if your life has come undone

I wasn’t born with a spoon in my mouth

I live in the north, but my life went south

Ahchoo from "Robin Hood: Men in Tights" a.k.a. Dave Chappelle Before He Descended into Transphobic Mediocrity

 

See? I Always Knew Arthur Fleck Had Potential as a Comedian!

 

Rejection Sensitive

Rejection sensitive, a lack of evidence

That he tried so hard to get on the dance card

He couldn’t score a ten even if he rigged the game

Walked onto the dance floor, couldn’t share his name

A lady took his hand, but it was never an invitation

To step outside the fantasies of masturbation

One bad touch and it’ll all go viral

Watch it all go down the drain in a pretty little spiral

Laugh it up, yuk it up, read all about it

They knew he was awkward, now he’s fully outed

He ran out the door, tried to drown out the noise

Of the scared-to-death ladies, chucklefuck boys

They say you can’t win if you never play the game

You also can’t get jobbed out into the Hall of Shame

His brain was lying the whole damn time

Nobody even cared that he committed social crimes

They’re too busy getting down with the funky ass beat

Split-legged moonsault, twerk, repeat

But when your brain tells you lies, they’re easy to believe

It’s the closest friend you have, why would it deceive?

It got you through pop quizzes and scantron tests

How can you justify not giving all your best?

Go back to your room and put on some creamy Korn

Let your hero Jon Davis guide you through emotions torn

“If you don’t give a shit, come get your Hellyeah!”

Mr. Mudvayne’s got intensity, ain’t got to sell that

Throw a Five Finger Death Punch right through the drywall

Not worth losing your deposit, the bill will bulge your eyeballs

Try the dance floor again when your spirit isn’t broken

In another five years when your heart’s wide open

It’s like a prison sentence, but without the CO’s

Cuss a storm at the warden, but you’ll never dethrone

Imaginary debates over trying hard enough

Or your lack thereof, it’s a little tough love

Tough love is a total oxymoron

Like jumbo shrimp, so the conclusion’s foregone

You’re a victim of abuse from your own internal organs

From the day you were born to the days of rigor mortis

You can’t win the game when the world is cheating

When your purpose in life is taking punch-down beatings

"Country" Joe McDonald: He Should Have Been Named Joe Burger King

 

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back! They Just Happen to Be Striking Drum Kits After a Pun

 

Kelly Carlin: The Apple Doesn't Fall Far from the Tree When Your Father Punches Up