I won't worry if Brett Kavanaugh tries to sue me for libel. He won't make a convincing argument to the jury, because he'll be hammered the entire time and he'll slur his words beyond recognition.
Thursday, March 19, 2026
Tom Powell, Jr. vs. Aaron Pendergraph: Court Battle of the Ages
If Aaron Pendergraph threatens to sue you, just ignore him. He's all sizzle and no steak, all icing and no cake. Actually, he did have a cake, but he used cocaine instead of baking flour, so I wouldn't eat it if I were you.
Wednesday, March 18, 2026
Revenge Against the Innocent
VERSE 1
Getting laid off at work makes you go berserk
And then a minor inconvenience turns you into a jerk
A tender voice says, “Daddy?”, you scream, “WHAT?!”
Call your daughter every slur from bitch to slut
She runs to bed crying while your self-esteem is dying
Nobody’s on your side, they had no choice but to hide
A raging ball of fire launched from the depths of hell
Leaves your heart seizing up and no one to wish you well
CHORUS
Revenge against the innocent, it sounds so ignorant
They committed no crimes, yet they’re on borrowed time
Before a nervous breakdown or a violent takedown
Revenge against the innocent, you’re absurd and insolent
VERSE 2
Your nuclear family had a nuclear explosion
Of every single tearful and screaming emotion
Hey, don’t complain, you’re the one who pressed the button
You always had the launch codes, so keep on truckin’
Couldn’t pay for therapy with a bleeding bank account
Inflation raised the price to a ridiculous amount
Credit cards can’t help, lenders hand you the shovel
And you can’t say, “I’m sorry” with an invisible muzzle
CHORUS
Revenge against the innocent, it sounds so ignorant
They committed no crimes, yet they’re on borrowed time
Before a nervous breakdown or a violent takedown
Revenge against the innocent, you’re absurd and insolent
VERSE 3
Fifty-one-fifty, free room and board
And all the cigarettes you could possibly hoard
I’m making this place sound just like a prison
But you know damn well they’ve got the same system
Seventy-two hours without a warm shower
Piss and moan all you want, but there’s no people-power
Your daughter’s grown up and got her own wedding flowers
She broke the cycle, her love is stronger than a tower
OUTRO
This could have been avoided, nulled, and voided
If you didn’t let your anger turn into a Big Banger
Cosmic explosion that pissed off the universe
Now you’ve got no ride home except the back of a hearse
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