I Don't "Shoot My Shot" Because I Don't Want to Give Women the Ick

 

Cammy White: Make Love, Not War

 

Hot take: it's okay to sexualize fictional characters, because they won't get traumatized and go to therapy. Real people, on the other hand, are off limits.

Extroverted Party Hostess vs. Garrison's Autism: Forever in Search of Common Ground

 

Nyla Rose: the Secret Desire of Transphobic Men Everywhere

 

Cat R. Scott vs. Garrison's Autism, a Common Opponent These Days

 

Ophelia Cornell: Legendary Serial Killer from "Dungeon of Love"

 

Olimpia DeJesus, World-Class Wrestler and Murder Suspect from "Seven Star Reads"

 

Noella Klarke, Conformist Commander from "The Meat Squadron"

 

Tarja Turunen (ex-Nightwish) vs. Alex Trebek (Jeopardy): No Beef, Just for Shits and Giggles

 

Marina Shafir: The Heart and Soles of AEW

 

Margaret Dabbs: No Beef, Just For Fun

 

Divinyls X Halestorm: "When I Touch Myself, I Get Off" (Rest in Peace, Chrissy Amphlett)

 

Larck Fontana, Arguing Wife from "Happy Fun Land"

 

Dr. Jody Iron, Principal of Paiten's High School from "My Favorite Magazine"

 

Maleka vs. Snoop Dogg: a Foot Fetish Model vs. a Whore

 

Full disclosure: this is my first time drawing a woman's bare feet in this pose. I can say with nothing but confidence that I knocked it out of the park.

Anne Wheatstone, Hoity-Toity Matriarch from "The King Smells Like Formaldehyde"

 

Murder Is Beautiful

VERSE 1
It’s amazing the disputes I can settle with a knife
Could have no more problems for the rest of my life
A blade across your wrists, a blade across your throat
Tie bricks around your ankles, throw you off of a boat
Some of you motherfuckers call it a crime of passion
From a guy who followed all the heavy metal fashions
From a guy who was shit on all throughout school
Nah, I just like bathing in bloody swimming pools

CHORUS 1
Murder is beautiful!
Murder is so sublime!
It’s so worth doing time!
Murder is beautiful!

VERSE 2
It’s astounding the problems I can solve with a gun
One bullet to the dome and it’s all said and done
Or maybe I can blast off your itty bitty dicky
Shoot you in the ass, bleed you like a stuck piggy
Some of you clowns call me a little loony toon
While digging your own graves with a big ass spoon
Maybe I just need a glass of water and some pills
Nah, I’d rather rack up some more of those kills

CHORUS 2
Murder is beautiful!
Murder is so precious!
The fun is so endless!
Murder is beautiful!

VERSE 3
I’ve never been a gangster or a mafia don
I’m just a guy whose sanity is all long gone
Had enough of toxic bitches ripping at my stitches
Opening wounds that should’ve stayed hidden
A baseball bat or a stun gun full of juice
Don’t worry about your legs having no use
You won’t need them where your ass is going
Bombs away! Feel the high winds blowing

CHORUS 3
Murder is beautiful!
Murder is sweet sunshine!
Your ass is forever mine!
Murder is beautiful!
Murder is pretty as fuck!
Murder is a work of art!
Slash your asses apart!
Murder is pretty as fuck!