Barney Gumble from The Simpsons vs. Bernie Marcus, the CEO of Home Depot (Rest in Piss, You Lazy Motherfucker!)

 

John Wayne Gacy: Did You Ever Think You'd See the Day When He Had the Moral High Ground?

 

Zohran Mamdani for President! It's the 2020's! Anything Can Happen!

 

Ask Your Doctor if Medical Advice from a Television Commercial Is Right For You

 

Sophie Cunningham: Like a Basketball Match with Trans Athletes Playing in It, She's Fair Game

Cybertruck: The Only Vehicle That Will Get You a DUI Even Though You're Sober

 

Tabitha Speaks Politics vs. Iggy Pop: "Lust for Life" Could Have Been the Title of an Anti-Abortion Song

 

Chris Kael from Five Finger Death Punch: Telling On Himself Since Day One

 

Tiffany Justice (Moms For Liberty) X Ronald Pergman (Big Sky): Bonding Over Common Ground

 

Ari Emanuel (TKO) X Jade Pettyjohn (Big Sky): "Just Be a Fan..."

 

Ashlee Evans-Smith: She Beat Fallon Fox and She's Somehow Still Bitching About Unfairness

 

Night Ride

Put a fucking muffler on your ’57 Chevy

It ain’t that deep and it ain’t that heavy

The rest of the block is trying to sleep

And you’re raping our ears like a bus stop creep

Mediocre white guy going for a night ride

You’re a perfect candidate for a gangland drive-by

You peaked in high school and it never got better

Yet you throw shade at those who ain’t swimming in cheddar

Your noisy engine is your personality

It’s all that’s remembered after road fatalities

Adrenaline junky looking for your next high

So you speed towards the ramp, get ready to fly

Motocross, but with a piece of shit car

You might have had a few Miller Lites at the bar

Mix it with your Monster and a case of Red Bull

MAGA flag on one side, the other side is rebel

Hoot and holler so they can hear you in China

And if they complain, say they have a vagina

That’s full of sand and pieces of Mae Young’s hand

Congratulations, you’re an Aaron Lewis cover band

Speed right off into the dark of the night

And if you get pulled over, put your dukes up and fight

Blue Lives Matter until you throw the first punch

Now a fully loaded pistol is eating you for lunch

Should we call you patriotic or have a good laugh?

I’d call you a comedian, but you suck at the craft

Your whole life is comedy, it’ll end in tragedy

Even worse if you’re a student at the Rape Academy

Pee-Wee Herman (Rest in Peace) vs. Tina Descovich, Founder of Mommies For Lubrication, I Mean, Moms For Liberty

 

Tom MacDonald Had a Pharm

 

Nate Silver vs. Donald Trump a.k.a. the REAL King of Wishful Thinking, Not Go West

 

Randal Graves from Clerks vs. Lindsey Graham, Whose Last Name Should Also Be Graves, Hint, Hint, Wink, Wink (Rest in Piss, Loser)

 

"Judge" Bruce Schroeder: Passed the Bar, Failed the Country

 

Simple Plan vs. Eric July: The Most Memed Song of All Time Makes a Comeback for a Whiny Libertarian

David Bowie vs. Larry Elder a.k.a. the Guy Who Lost Like a Bitch to Gavin Newsom

 

Tyler Durden from Fight Club vs. Ron Christie: No Background Checks Necessary