Friday, September 25, 2026
Garrison Kelly vs. Elon Musk: Everybody's Got a Price...or Do They?
Thursday, September 10, 2026
Mr. Rogers vs. Kai Trump: A Tall Task Ahead
Thursday, August 6, 2026
Who's the Real Hard Worker Here: the Actual Worker or the Extortionist?
Friday, July 31, 2026
Cybertruck: The Only Vehicle That Will Get You a DUI Even Though You're Sober
Friday, July 3, 2026
Jeff Bezos: A Wealth Hoarder with MAGA Lipstick Marks on His Butt Cheeks
Monday, March 16, 2026
Safeway vs. Twitter: What Is a Marketplace?
Wednesday, March 11, 2026
Connor Stone, Evil CEO from "Be a Good Duck"
Tuesday, January 6, 2026
Vince McMahon
Monday, January 5, 2026
Sunday, January 4, 2026
Elon Musk and Vivian Wilson: Money For Nothing
Milo Pressman from Stand By Me and Vivian Wilson: Finding Common Ground
Wednesday, July 31, 2024
Chest Milk
(In the style of “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred)
VERSE 1
He’s a right-wing billionaire
And he just doesn’t care
If he stinks up your air
He’s a red-pilled alpha male
Who never goes to jail
SA victims were failed
And he deadnamed his own daughter
And led her to the slaughter
While his mistress broke her water
CHORUS
He’s a model and he wants his bottle
But not whiskey or beer, just some chest milk
He wants some chest milk
He wants some chest milk, yeah
He’s sad because I didn’t call it breast milk
VERSE 2
He’s a funny, funny guy
Who wants to make them cry
When they’re bored, he asks, “Why, oh, why?!”
And he drives a cyber truck
And he don’t give a fuck
‘Cause he’s gotten by on luck
He’s a model and he
wants his bottle
But not whiskey or
beer, just some chest milk
He wants some chest
milk
He wants some chest
milk, yeah
He’s sad because I
didn’t call it breast milk
VERSE 3
And he outlawed the word cis
And his fans gave him a kiss
On the organ that goes “piss”
CHORUS
He’s a model and he wants his bottle
But not whiskey or beer, just some chest milk
He wants some chest milk
He wants some chest milk, yeah
He’s sad because I didn’t call it breast milk
VERSE 4
And he bought the birdie app
And it’s a piece of crap
‘Cause it’s for slurs and faps
He, he bought the birdie app
A rage-a-holic trap
For those about to snap
Swipe left, not worth a single tap











