Bill Maher: Bashes Millennials and Gen Z Kids, Dates Them Anyways

 

Vincent Vega from Pulp Fiction vs. Sheetal Awchar: "It's the Same Ballpark"

 

Brock "The Stanford Rapist" Turner: If He Wants to Swim Again, Make Sure There Are Cottonmouths in the Water with Him

 

Roy Moore Should Be No More

 

This one's obviously more serious than the others I've drawn. Darker, too.

Matilda Wormwood vs. Sneako

 

Vince McMahon

 

Saraya vs. Reddit Chud

 

Keiva Lark X Dan Schneider: Putting Their Best Foot Forward

 

Two-Sentence Horror Stories: Double Tap

FIRST STORY: The movie theater was packed with excited kids who couldn’t sit still for the start of the film. But instead of the Warner Brothers Family Entertainment shield flying through the clouds, it was a diseased penis covered in green slime and red sores that oozed yellow pus.

 

SECOND STORY: Helena screamed through her breathing apparatus as the great white shark swam towards her looking for lunch. She really started kicking her flippers when she saw that the shark was wearing a dental dam over his mouth.

Time's Up

OPENING LINE

I see your gaslight and I raise you a scorched earth!

VERSE 1

The nightmare in her head

Isn’t limited to the bed

Never forget the shit they said

Never forget they wish her dead

CHORUS

Time’s up, you filthy animals!

Time’s up, sexual cannibals!

Time’s up, you phony god!

Put down the staff and rod!

VERSE 2

Call it witch hunt if you’d like

Carry your torches and your pikes

Thump your bible, preach your sermon

You’re still a bunch of toxic vermin

Your brutal past isn’t going away

No matter how many times you pray

Face the music or go fuck off

Her life is not yours to rob

EXTENDED CHORUS 1

Time’s up, you filthy animals!

Time’s up, sexual cannibals!

Time’s up, you phony god!

Put down the staff and rod!

Time’s up, Mr. High and Mighty!

Time’s up, Mr. Gaslighting!

Time’s up, Mr. Law and Order!

Time’s up, Mr. Sexual Torture!

VERSE 3

As long as you’ve got the magical R

It doesn’t matter if you’ve lowered the bar

Your sheep will follow, continue to swallow

Your bullshit until the inside is hollow

EXTENDED CHORUS 2

Time’s up, you filthy scum!

Justice for all, a free pass for none!

Time’s up, you barbarian!

None of this is hilarious!

Time’s up, you cockroach!

The plank is yours to approach!

Time’s up, nowhere to run!

Time’s up! Time’s up!

Predator

VERSE 1
You took something of mine I may never get back
You took something of mine in a vicious attack
My soul, my sanity, my very spiritual essence
Taken away by the world’s harshest lessons
Never turn your back on a hungry predator
When it comes to the past, you can’t be the editor
Dormant and dumb, that’s how you left me
I might as well be a package of fresh meat


CHORUS
The tears, the pain, they were all for nothing
When all I wanted was the smallest something
How can I rise from the smoldering ashes
When you dictate my fate like a fascist?


VERSE 2
I let my guard down for the shortest of seconds
You were already waiting for me with your weapon
Sex and love became known as boots and blood
Of all the nights, this is my least romantic one
I want to vomit, but nothing is coming up
I want to cry, but my eyes are drying up
All that remain are flashbacks and numbness
How can anybody in their right mind love this?


CHORUS
The tears, the pain, they were all for nothing
When all I wanted was the smallest something
How can I rise from the smoldering ashes
When you dictate my fate like a fascist?


VERSE 3
Disgust and distrust are all the same to me
I’ve learned to hate you to the highest degree
So much venom running deep in my veins
Knowing none of this could ever be the same
I think about slaying my demons every night
With brutal barbarism and a warrior’s might
But in the end, I’m back on the same page
Another day to continue this cycle of rage


CHORUS
The tears, the pain, they were all for nothing
When all I wanted was the smallest something
How can I rise from the smoldering ashes
When you dictate my fate like a fascist?


VERSE 4
Demons and predators both equal shit
They like to say, “You’ve asked for it!”
No honor among thieves of the heart and soul
Bury all the wasted pieces in a fiery hole
You disgust me, so do all who support you
The gentleman in me says to just report you
Gentleman I am not, only a vengeful madman
Who will leave you bloodied in the badlands