Showing posts with label Paige. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Paige. Show all posts
Monday, January 5, 2026
Thursday, November 5, 2020
ESPN 30 For 30: Nature Boy
MOVIE TITLE: 30 For 30: Nature Boy
PRODUCERS: ESPN
YEAR: 2017
GENRE: Pro-Wrestling Documentary
RATING: TV-14 for violence, language, and suggestive dialogue
GRADE: A
Putting “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair in the Mt. Rushmore of professional wrestling is right on the money and I’m glad the folks at ESPN agree. Sixteen world championship reigns, a WWE Hall of Fame induction, a multi-decade career full of great moments, and the gimmick of a charismatic bad guy who drew the most fans to the arena throughout the 70’s and 80’s. Watching clips of Ric Flair showing off his expensive possessions, horny fan girls, and hardcore partying would make any blue-collar fan pay good money to see him get his butt kicked. Jealousy was a great way to get under the common man’s skin, but more often than not that jealousy would have to sit and stew for a while longer. Ric Flair wasn’t just a handsome rich guy with a big mouth. He was a technical genius in the ring and his long string of victories proved it. You want to see a living legend? You want to see a true wrestling god? You want to see brilliant character arcs that would work wonders in any other story? ESPN will make sure you get all of that and more. This was a superb documentary that could appeal to not just hardcore fans, but also laymen. Ric Flair transcended the wrestling business and you get to see his greatness on full display in this documentary.
But in real life, Gary-Stus don’t exist no matter how many victories a wrestler has. With the fame and fortune came drawbacks. Yes, Ric Flair got to party and have a good time everywhere he went. He got his extroverted needs met not just outside of the ring, but in it as well. But he did so at the expense of not being able to see his family as often as he needed to. He openly admitted to not being a good father and husband and it certainly showed in the reactions and emotions of everyone who loved him. Being a willfully absent father is atrocious no matter what, but ESPN made Ric Flair look like a flawed human being rather than a real life villain not unlike his wrestling persona. Nothing said against him came off as slanderous or detrimental; it was god’s honest truth. Every storyteller knows that creating flawed characters is endearing to the audience, but it must be done in a way that doesn’t turn people against the story. ESPN knew that Ric had his regrets about being a terrible family man, yet he’s still the living legend we’ve all come to admire. Everybody makes stupid mistakes and some of them hurt more than others. But it’s still a very human experience. In the end, that’s what Ric Flair was: a human. ESPN did a great job in showing these flaws without making him out to be a monster.
Easily, the most heart-wrenching part of the documentary was watching Ric Flair fight his tears while talking about the 2013 death of his youngest son Reid. Ric was a hardcore party boy who drank so much that it’s amazing he still has a liver after all these years. Unfortunately, that attitude rubbed off on Reid and he took it to the extreme, including pills and heroin into his self-destructive routine. Something the documentary thankfully left out was a storyline in WWE where Charlotte Flair (Ric’s daughter) and Paige (her opponent) were feuding over the Divas Championship. Reid’s name was brought up and Paige said, “Your baby brother doesn’t have much fight left in him now, does he?!” WWE won the award for Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic in 2015 from the Wrestling Observer Newsletter due to this storyline. It was such a pointless and damaging TV segment that Ric Flair would have had an even harder time fighting back tears than before. He probably would have continued down an alcoholic path if he was forced to delve into that situation again. Good on ESPN for not putting that 2015 storyline into their documentary. Raw emotion is relatable, but it would have been too much if they’d gone through with it. We don’t need more heartache than we already have. Shame on you, Vince McMahon, for green-lighting that angle to begin with.
For Ric Flair, wrestling was both an escape from reality and a detriment to his physical and mental health. The money line at the end of the documentary was that he didn’t want to be remembered as a father and husband (because he was bad at both), but rather as the greatest professional wrestler of all time. Due in part to the respectful nature in which ESPN handled all of the sensitive topics, they deserved the award for Best Streaming Documentary, another honor voted on by readers of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter. They are true professionals not just as filmmakers, but also human beings. They deserve an A for their hard work. Don’t you agree? WOO!
Wednesday, February 27, 2019
Breaking Benjamin
***BREAKING BENJAMIN***
It’s been about twenty days since my last blog and at this
point I’m just reaching for topics like Luke Skywalker reaching for his lost
lightsaber in the heat of battle. Just like that same Jedi warrior, I used the
force to come up with this next topic. And by use the force, I mean exactly
that: I had to force myself to come up with this topic because nothing else of
immediate importance came to mind.
This coming September, Breaking Benjamin is coming to
Auburn, Washington’s White River Amphitheater to put on a fucking rock and roll
show. Their opening acts in order of appearance are Diamante, Dorothy, Three
Days Grace, and finally Chevelle. The only opener that I listen to on a
frequent basis is Three Days Grace.
Prior to this upcoming Breaking Benjamin show, I’ve seen
Three Days Grace twice in concert. The first time was in 2013 at the Showbox
SoDo in Seattle
Three Days Grace has been a part of my life since 2003 when
I was attending school at Olympic College. I don’t remember much of the early
2000’s due to the onset of my schizophrenia, but I’ll never forget how Three
Days Grace’s music made me feel. Their song “Home” perfectly described my state
of mind at the time and “I Hate Everything (About You)” could have been a
descriptor for my mom’s terrible ex-boyfriend Art. Seeing Three Days Grace live
twice was psychological medicine for me and seeing them a third time in 2019
will be no exception.
Breaking Benjamin is the only other band in that lineup that
I listen to on a regular basis, which is why I’m going to the concert in the
first place. I don’t go to concerts unless I recognize the headliner. Prior to
this concert, I’ve seen Breaking Benjamin on three separate occasions. The
first was in 2004 when they opened for Korn. Like I said earlier, I have
minimal recollection of the early 2000’s due to my ongoing battle with
schizophrenia. When Breaking Benjamin opened for Disturbed as part of the Pain
in the Grass festival in 2016, my senses were wide awake. Unfortunately, that
show was marred by me having to sit next to a drunken lunatic who wouldn’t
leave well enough alone. That’s okay, because in 2018, Breaking Benjamin came
back to that same venue with Five Finger Death Punch and Bad Wolves as their
openers. Much better experience!
I didn’t fully appreciate the music of Breaking Benjamin
until 2006 when I first heard “So Cold”. From there, getting hooked on the
music was easy. I listened to a lot of their fourth album Dear Agony in 2009
when I was taking the bus to and from my final college class. Coincidentally, I
also started listening to “Life Starts Now” by Three Days Grace. We intersect
once again! Who knew two sad-ass metal bands would make the perfect soundtrack
for resorting to forced extroversion in a college class environment? I still
don’t understand why college classes put introverts at a disadvantage like that
by having public conversations in the grading rubric. It’s almost like there’s
a bias going on here.
Breaking Benjamin’s upcoming show won’t be until September
22nd of this year, which is a country mile ahead of the current
date. Like I said before, I was reaching for a topic this whole time. I don’t
like going for a long time without writing a blog entry because I consider
those to be just as important as my poems, short stories, and chapters of
Beautiful Monster. Speaking of which…
***BEAUTIFUL MONSTER***
Chapter sixteen will feature the fruits of Windham Windham
***MOVIE DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***
HUTCH MORGAN: Eat me!
PAIGE: No thanks, I’m trying to bulk up.
-Fighting With My Family-
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Most Disgusting Promotional Tactics of 2015
***MOST DISGUSTING PROMOTIONAL TACTICS OF 2015***
With the internet as prominent as it is and with backstage politics as easily accessible as they are, wrestling has easily become the most criticized form of entertainment, even by its own fans. A lot of the negativity stems from certain fans not seeing their favorite wrestlers succeed (Cesaro) or seeing their most hated wrestlers get an elevator ride to the top (Kane). It’s hard to maintain a positive attitude among the spoiled fans, but I’ve managed to do so and enjoy wrestling for what it truly is: entertainment.
Yes, I know this journal is about a negative award given by the Wrestling Observer Newsletter every year. I talk about it often, but not because I’m a negative human being. These award winners and runner-ups are a huge source of creative fuel for me. Creative fuel is essential to the life of an author. That, and I love to shock the shit out of people from time to time. The 2015 WON awards have been revealed and in this particular category, there were seven different candidates (one winner, six runner-ups). I’m going to work my way from the top of the list (the winner) to the very bottom. Starting with…
***AWARD WINNER***
EVENT: WWE using Reid Flair’s death to promote a feud between Charlotte and Paige.
REASON: I’ve talked about this before in the past and I’ll only speak briefly about it in the present. Death is a sensitive subject and to approach it with such classlessness is going to bring a lot of people either to tears or a boiling point. It was the case in 2013 when Paul Bearer’s death was exploited and in 2006 when Eddie Guerrero’s was as well.
EXAMPLE: The Westboro Baptist Church are the worst offenders when it comes to insensitivity toward the dead. They hold up “God Hates Fags” signs at funerals, claiming that God is killing off these now-dead people because America’s approval of homosexuality. I could actually picture a Fred Phelps caricature being used on an episode of WWE Raw and then that manager getting a Worst Gimmick award.
***FIRST RUNNER-UP***
EVENT: WWE botching the Divas Revolution.
REASON: Bringing up three badass female athletes to the main WWE roster seemed like a good idea on paper, but it doesn’t change the fact that WWE women’s matches are much different from NXT women’s matches. In NXT, the women are strong role models and bold risk takers, thus ensuring them five-star match accolades. In WWE, the women are sophomoric and have awkward choreography. In other words, nothing has changed on the main roster.
EXAMPLE: Let’s say for instance there’s a high fantasy story taking place and there’s a war going on between an army of orcs, an army of dwarves, and an army of elves. That’s a lot of goddamn warriors and that has potential for a lot of goddamn bloodshed. But let’s say the warriors get drunk and start fighting like middle schoolers. The best you could hope for at this point is a draw.
***SECOND RUNNER-UP***
EVENT: James Storm pushes Mickie James into an oncoming train.
REASON: I haven’t watched TNA since I gave up on them in late 2011. Having said that, we can all agree that it’s not very nice to push a defenseless woman into a moving train. Obviously, Mickie James didn’t die; it was a way to write her off television. But given the fact that trains are big fucking machines that move at a fierce goddamn velocity, the thought of Mickie James’ guts being spread all over the train station is just gross.
EXAMPLE: I used to watch episodes of Dudley Do-Right where the love interest of the main character would be tied onto railroad tracks while a steam train is blitzing her way. It’s a kid’s cartoon, so obviously the love interest was never splattered into a pile of blood and guts. But if you really think about it, that’s a screwed up way to kill somebody, especially a helpless woman whose only role on the show is to be saved by the masculine hero. That’s like something from Criminal Minds.
***THIRD RUNNER-UP***
EVENT: WWE exploiting Connor “The Crusher” Michalek when giving him the Warrior Award.
REASON: TV shows get accused of exploiting their guests all the time. Dr. Phil does it on a regular basis when he brings rape victims onto his show. The Biggest Loser is basically one big fat joke that spans several seasons. And now you’ve got WWE super fan and childhood cancer victim Connor Michalek being paraded around to show what great guys the WWE are…months before they exploit the death of Reid Flair.
EXAMPLE: I think I’ve already covered the examples when I brought up Dr. Phil and The Biggest Loser. What I haven’t covered is that every October, WWE parades around breast cancer survivors as part of their alliance with Susan G. Komen. The WWE neglects to mention that Susan G. Komen was responsible for de-funding Planned Parenthood and that the CEO of SGK pockets most of the donations.
***FOURTH RUNNER-UP***
EVENT: Lucha Underground televising matches where men beat up women.
REASON: With all of this talk in today’s world about “rape culture” and “a woman’s place”, haven’t these poor girls suffered enough without being assaulted by men on a weekly basis? I will admit that the WWE’s Stephanie McMahon is a pain in the ass and deserves a Worst Gimmick award in the most vile way. It doesn’t change the fact that if she was booked in a match to get a KO punch from The Big Show, the WWE would win this award and not the Lucha Underground. If you want Stephanie McMahon to get her ass kicked so badly, have Ronda Rousey do it; she won’t let you down. Plus, Ronda is all woman.
EXAMPLE: The movies North Country and Iron-Jawed Angels are perfect examples of male supremacy. You’ve got men sexually harassing and physically beating these women all because these females want the same societal status as their dick-swinging counterparts. I’ve seen North Country and it was the most disturbing movie I’ve ever watched. I haven’t seen Iron-Jawed Angels, nor do I want to since it’s basically the same male supremacy over and over again.
***FIFTH RUNNER-UP***
EVENT: Michael Cole doing a broken neck storyline directly after Perro Aguayo, Jr. died from whiplash.
REASON: I’m sure this wasn’t intentional mockery of Perro Aguayo’s situation, but the timing couldn’t have been worse than if it was 2005 and the WWE did a terrorist storyline on the day of the London bombings. Timing is everything when it comes to sensitive subjects. Which leads me to my next example…
EXAMPLE: Back in 2011, Fox pulled episodes of Family Guy, The Cleveland Show, and American Dad off the air because they were all about stormy weather and a hurricane had just past through…I forget where. Imagine that backlash against Fox if they hadn’t pulled those episodes, as if Seth MacFarlane doesn’t catch enough shit already.
***FINAL RUNNER-UP***
EVENT: WWE blackballing Hulk Hogan for his racist remarks in 2012 and then lionizing The Ultimate Warrior, who said just as bad or worse things in public.
REASON: Racism is racism no matter who it comes from. The only difference between Hulk Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior is that the latter is now dead and lionizing him would be the only way to honor his memory. Then again, if praising the dead was standard operating procedure, Chris Benoit would be a first ballot WWE Hall of Famer.
EXAMPLE: Racism is a touchy subject no matter which political or news channel you dial into. Donald Trump shoots his mouth off on a regular basis about Arabs, Mexicans, and black people, yet people cheer him on and encourage it. But whenever Al Sharpton talks about white privilege, suddenly the hammer gets brought down with a stiffness.
***CONCLUSION***
Creative fuel can come from anywhere. As far as the creative fuel from MDPT awards go, this is my way of not allowing tragedies to go to waste. Whenever authors write a story, there has to be a main problem and the protagonist has to go through hell in order to solve that problem. When drawing inspiration from these seven horrifying wrestling stories, think about that for a moment.
***WRESTLING JOKE OF THE DAY***
As long as the WWE is putting together tag teams based on their initials, let’s go old school with the pairing of Sting and Ted DiBiase (Team STD). Don’t worry about them giving you cross-body blocks, because Team STD is easy to catch.
With the internet as prominent as it is and with backstage politics as easily accessible as they are, wrestling has easily become the most criticized form of entertainment, even by its own fans. A lot of the negativity stems from certain fans not seeing their favorite wrestlers succeed (Cesaro) or seeing their most hated wrestlers get an elevator ride to the top (Kane). It’s hard to maintain a positive attitude among the spoiled fans, but I’ve managed to do so and enjoy wrestling for what it truly is: entertainment.
Yes, I know this journal is about a negative award given by the Wrestling Observer Newsletter every year. I talk about it often, but not because I’m a negative human being. These award winners and runner-ups are a huge source of creative fuel for me. Creative fuel is essential to the life of an author. That, and I love to shock the shit out of people from time to time. The 2015 WON awards have been revealed and in this particular category, there were seven different candidates (one winner, six runner-ups). I’m going to work my way from the top of the list (the winner) to the very bottom. Starting with…
***AWARD WINNER***
EVENT: WWE using Reid Flair’s death to promote a feud between Charlotte and Paige.
REASON: I’ve talked about this before in the past and I’ll only speak briefly about it in the present. Death is a sensitive subject and to approach it with such classlessness is going to bring a lot of people either to tears or a boiling point. It was the case in 2013 when Paul Bearer’s death was exploited and in 2006 when Eddie Guerrero’s was as well.
EXAMPLE: The Westboro Baptist Church are the worst offenders when it comes to insensitivity toward the dead. They hold up “God Hates Fags” signs at funerals, claiming that God is killing off these now-dead people because America’s approval of homosexuality. I could actually picture a Fred Phelps caricature being used on an episode of WWE Raw and then that manager getting a Worst Gimmick award.
***FIRST RUNNER-UP***
EVENT: WWE botching the Divas Revolution.
REASON: Bringing up three badass female athletes to the main WWE roster seemed like a good idea on paper, but it doesn’t change the fact that WWE women’s matches are much different from NXT women’s matches. In NXT, the women are strong role models and bold risk takers, thus ensuring them five-star match accolades. In WWE, the women are sophomoric and have awkward choreography. In other words, nothing has changed on the main roster.
EXAMPLE: Let’s say for instance there’s a high fantasy story taking place and there’s a war going on between an army of orcs, an army of dwarves, and an army of elves. That’s a lot of goddamn warriors and that has potential for a lot of goddamn bloodshed. But let’s say the warriors get drunk and start fighting like middle schoolers. The best you could hope for at this point is a draw.
***SECOND RUNNER-UP***
EVENT: James Storm pushes Mickie James into an oncoming train.
REASON: I haven’t watched TNA since I gave up on them in late 2011. Having said that, we can all agree that it’s not very nice to push a defenseless woman into a moving train. Obviously, Mickie James didn’t die; it was a way to write her off television. But given the fact that trains are big fucking machines that move at a fierce goddamn velocity, the thought of Mickie James’ guts being spread all over the train station is just gross.
EXAMPLE: I used to watch episodes of Dudley Do-Right where the love interest of the main character would be tied onto railroad tracks while a steam train is blitzing her way. It’s a kid’s cartoon, so obviously the love interest was never splattered into a pile of blood and guts. But if you really think about it, that’s a screwed up way to kill somebody, especially a helpless woman whose only role on the show is to be saved by the masculine hero. That’s like something from Criminal Minds.
***THIRD RUNNER-UP***
EVENT: WWE exploiting Connor “The Crusher” Michalek when giving him the Warrior Award.
REASON: TV shows get accused of exploiting their guests all the time. Dr. Phil does it on a regular basis when he brings rape victims onto his show. The Biggest Loser is basically one big fat joke that spans several seasons. And now you’ve got WWE super fan and childhood cancer victim Connor Michalek being paraded around to show what great guys the WWE are…months before they exploit the death of Reid Flair.
EXAMPLE: I think I’ve already covered the examples when I brought up Dr. Phil and The Biggest Loser. What I haven’t covered is that every October, WWE parades around breast cancer survivors as part of their alliance with Susan G. Komen. The WWE neglects to mention that Susan G. Komen was responsible for de-funding Planned Parenthood and that the CEO of SGK pockets most of the donations.
***FOURTH RUNNER-UP***
EVENT: Lucha Underground televising matches where men beat up women.
REASON: With all of this talk in today’s world about “rape culture” and “a woman’s place”, haven’t these poor girls suffered enough without being assaulted by men on a weekly basis? I will admit that the WWE’s Stephanie McMahon is a pain in the ass and deserves a Worst Gimmick award in the most vile way. It doesn’t change the fact that if she was booked in a match to get a KO punch from The Big Show, the WWE would win this award and not the Lucha Underground. If you want Stephanie McMahon to get her ass kicked so badly, have Ronda Rousey do it; she won’t let you down. Plus, Ronda is all woman.
EXAMPLE: The movies North Country and Iron-Jawed Angels are perfect examples of male supremacy. You’ve got men sexually harassing and physically beating these women all because these females want the same societal status as their dick-swinging counterparts. I’ve seen North Country and it was the most disturbing movie I’ve ever watched. I haven’t seen Iron-Jawed Angels, nor do I want to since it’s basically the same male supremacy over and over again.
***FIFTH RUNNER-UP***
EVENT: Michael Cole doing a broken neck storyline directly after Perro Aguayo, Jr. died from whiplash.
REASON: I’m sure this wasn’t intentional mockery of Perro Aguayo’s situation, but the timing couldn’t have been worse than if it was 2005 and the WWE did a terrorist storyline on the day of the London bombings. Timing is everything when it comes to sensitive subjects. Which leads me to my next example…
EXAMPLE: Back in 2011, Fox pulled episodes of Family Guy, The Cleveland Show, and American Dad off the air because they were all about stormy weather and a hurricane had just past through…I forget where. Imagine that backlash against Fox if they hadn’t pulled those episodes, as if Seth MacFarlane doesn’t catch enough shit already.
***FINAL RUNNER-UP***
EVENT: WWE blackballing Hulk Hogan for his racist remarks in 2012 and then lionizing The Ultimate Warrior, who said just as bad or worse things in public.
REASON: Racism is racism no matter who it comes from. The only difference between Hulk Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior is that the latter is now dead and lionizing him would be the only way to honor his memory. Then again, if praising the dead was standard operating procedure, Chris Benoit would be a first ballot WWE Hall of Famer.
EXAMPLE: Racism is a touchy subject no matter which political or news channel you dial into. Donald Trump shoots his mouth off on a regular basis about Arabs, Mexicans, and black people, yet people cheer him on and encourage it. But whenever Al Sharpton talks about white privilege, suddenly the hammer gets brought down with a stiffness.
***CONCLUSION***
Creative fuel can come from anywhere. As far as the creative fuel from MDPT awards go, this is my way of not allowing tragedies to go to waste. Whenever authors write a story, there has to be a main problem and the protagonist has to go through hell in order to solve that problem. When drawing inspiration from these seven horrifying wrestling stories, think about that for a moment.
***WRESTLING JOKE OF THE DAY***
As long as the WWE is putting together tag teams based on their initials, let’s go old school with the pairing of Sting and Ted DiBiase (Team STD). Don’t worry about them giving you cross-body blocks, because Team STD is easy to catch.
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Exploiting Death
***EXPLOITING DEATH***
Even though I wrote a blog months ago about marketing my wrestling novella to the right people, I just now thought of another example when it comes to wrestling vs. real life. Only in wrestling would it make sense to do horrible things for the sake of ratings. In other words, the Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic award only goes to wrestling and mixed-martial arts organizations, no where else, although the NFL had their fair share with the deflated balls scandal.
The year 2015 is almost over and in the WWE there was recently a late entry for the MDPT award. I don’t know just yet if it’s going to end up winning since the Wrestling Observer Newsletter awards don’t come out until late January, but it’s a strong contender. I’m talking of course about an ending segment on an episode of Monday Night Raw.
Charlotte and Paige were signing a contract in the middle of the ring so that their Divas Championship match can take place at Survivor Series. Charlotte is the daughter of Hall of Fame wrestler Ric Flair and the sister of deceased wrestler Reid Flair. When Charlotte spoke tearfully about her family’s fighting spirit, Paige said, “I guess your baby brother doesn’t have much fight left in him now, does he!” Charlotte went berserk and beat the shit out of Paige while backstage, Ric Flair was crying his eyes out.
That’s right, folks: for the third time in a whole decade, WWE has exploited the death of a fellow wrestler or personality, the first two times being Eddie Guerrero (2006) and Bill Moody aka Paul Bearer (2013). The thing that has a lot of people upset is that nobody asked Ric Flair if it was okay to do this segment. The creative team just went ahead with it, showing that being assholes was the only way the divas division would earn attention.
Going back to my Occupy Wrestling argument, only in pro-wrestling does exploiting death make any sense. It’s wrong as hell, but it makes sense nonetheless. It wouldn’t fly anywhere else. People are already pissed off at the Westboro Baptist Church for all of their “God Hates Fags” protests. Ronda Rousey has had it up to here with Twitter users talking shit about her dead father. Don’t get me started on the NYPD wearing shirts that say, “Breathe easy: don’t break the law” in light of the murder of Eric Garner, and yes, it was murder despite what any cop apologist says.
Exploiting death also leaves a sour taste when it comes to fictional TV shows, movies, and books. Want some examples? Here they are. Let’s do a Star Wars example.
DARTH VADER: Luke, you keep looking at the heavens for Obi-Wan Kenobi. He’s not in heaven. He’s down there…in HELL!!
How about NCIS?
HARPER DEARING: Gibbs, you have just as much chance of catching me as Caitlin Todd does of coming back to life.
Ouch! But it gets worse. How about Final Fantasy VII?
SEPHIROTH: Well, Cloud, I guess Aerith doesn’t have much fight left in her anymore, now does she!
Luke Skywalker, Leroy Gibbs, and Cloud Strife would either cry their eyes out, scream in rage, or beat the shit out of whoever said those things. Not only that, but the audience would have a sour taste in their mouths and would hit the power button at the drop of a hat. And yet, we continue to watch wrestling because there are other segments that are fun to watch.
With wrestling, it makes sense to watch it for things other than the worst parts. You don’t have that luxury with a movie like North Country, which is swarming with sexual harassment scenes. Another example would be a movie I have no desire to see, but know about anyways: Iron-Jawed Angels, where women in the 1920’s were jailed, beaten, force-fed, and raped in their struggle for the right to vote.
The Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic award serves the same purpose for wrestling and MMA that one and two-star reviews do for authors like me: they enforce accountability. However, they don’t always enforce humility, which is much different by comparison. At least when it happens to an author, there’s a slight chance he or she will go back and fix his mistakes, which is something I did with American Darkness and will do with Occupy Wrestling as both books hold a 2.75 star rating on Good Reads and Amazon. The WWE, on the other hand, has exploited death over the past ten years three different times.
I’ll be a wrestling fan no matter what horrible shit happens between the ropes. But if you’re an author with your own brand, you can’t always rely on people always being a fan of you if you exploit death. Sure, it will make your villains the ultimate assholes, but if they keep doing it over and over again like it’s their whole gimmick, then it’ll just frustrate the reader to where he or she won’t want to read anything by you again.
The one thing you can take away from this journal, if nothing else, is that villains were made to be hated, but it’s also okay if they’re liked every once and a while as well. And what do you know? The WWE has villainous wrestlers who are cheered (Kevin Owens) and heroic wrestlers who are booed (Roman Reigns). I just hope Kevin Owens doesn’t find out where The Ultimate Warrior is buried and piss on his grave. That would be bad for business. We’ve got ears, say cheers!
***POISON TONGUE TALES***
Would you believe it if I told you I only have three more short stories to write for Poison Tongue Tales before I meet my quota? I didn’t believe it at first either. I knew I had a lot of stories, but not 47. Number 48 will be one called “Wasteland” and it goes like this:
CHARACTERS:
Faye Blood, Human Monk
Marco Torres, Human Thug
Rook Maxwell, Human Dark Paladin
PROMPT CONFORMITY: N/A
SYNOPSIS: Faye has been wandering the desert wasteland for days and is exhausted from dehydration. Her monk teachings don’t allow her to attack other travelers to steal their water, but at this point, Faye has no other choice. When she sees Marco and Rook making out in their tent and wasting water by pouring it over each other for added effect, Faye figures that she’s justified in stealing their water. Her martial arts training will get her through almost any battle. Will it get her through this one if she’s caught?
***WRESTLING JOKE OF THE DAY***
Since NXT wrestlers Zack Ryder and Mojo Rawley like to call themselves The Hype Bros, then they probably won’t mind calling their tag team finishing move The Bro Job. Then Byron Saxton can make an awkward joke on commentary about how Zack and Mojo have an “in-your-face” style of wrestling.
Even though I wrote a blog months ago about marketing my wrestling novella to the right people, I just now thought of another example when it comes to wrestling vs. real life. Only in wrestling would it make sense to do horrible things for the sake of ratings. In other words, the Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic award only goes to wrestling and mixed-martial arts organizations, no where else, although the NFL had their fair share with the deflated balls scandal.
The year 2015 is almost over and in the WWE there was recently a late entry for the MDPT award. I don’t know just yet if it’s going to end up winning since the Wrestling Observer Newsletter awards don’t come out until late January, but it’s a strong contender. I’m talking of course about an ending segment on an episode of Monday Night Raw.
Charlotte and Paige were signing a contract in the middle of the ring so that their Divas Championship match can take place at Survivor Series. Charlotte is the daughter of Hall of Fame wrestler Ric Flair and the sister of deceased wrestler Reid Flair. When Charlotte spoke tearfully about her family’s fighting spirit, Paige said, “I guess your baby brother doesn’t have much fight left in him now, does he!” Charlotte went berserk and beat the shit out of Paige while backstage, Ric Flair was crying his eyes out.
That’s right, folks: for the third time in a whole decade, WWE has exploited the death of a fellow wrestler or personality, the first two times being Eddie Guerrero (2006) and Bill Moody aka Paul Bearer (2013). The thing that has a lot of people upset is that nobody asked Ric Flair if it was okay to do this segment. The creative team just went ahead with it, showing that being assholes was the only way the divas division would earn attention.
Going back to my Occupy Wrestling argument, only in pro-wrestling does exploiting death make any sense. It’s wrong as hell, but it makes sense nonetheless. It wouldn’t fly anywhere else. People are already pissed off at the Westboro Baptist Church for all of their “God Hates Fags” protests. Ronda Rousey has had it up to here with Twitter users talking shit about her dead father. Don’t get me started on the NYPD wearing shirts that say, “Breathe easy: don’t break the law” in light of the murder of Eric Garner, and yes, it was murder despite what any cop apologist says.
Exploiting death also leaves a sour taste when it comes to fictional TV shows, movies, and books. Want some examples? Here they are. Let’s do a Star Wars example.
DARTH VADER: Luke, you keep looking at the heavens for Obi-Wan Kenobi. He’s not in heaven. He’s down there…in HELL!!
How about NCIS?
HARPER DEARING: Gibbs, you have just as much chance of catching me as Caitlin Todd does of coming back to life.
Ouch! But it gets worse. How about Final Fantasy VII?
SEPHIROTH: Well, Cloud, I guess Aerith doesn’t have much fight left in her anymore, now does she!
Luke Skywalker, Leroy Gibbs, and Cloud Strife would either cry their eyes out, scream in rage, or beat the shit out of whoever said those things. Not only that, but the audience would have a sour taste in their mouths and would hit the power button at the drop of a hat. And yet, we continue to watch wrestling because there are other segments that are fun to watch.
With wrestling, it makes sense to watch it for things other than the worst parts. You don’t have that luxury with a movie like North Country, which is swarming with sexual harassment scenes. Another example would be a movie I have no desire to see, but know about anyways: Iron-Jawed Angels, where women in the 1920’s were jailed, beaten, force-fed, and raped in their struggle for the right to vote.
The Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic award serves the same purpose for wrestling and MMA that one and two-star reviews do for authors like me: they enforce accountability. However, they don’t always enforce humility, which is much different by comparison. At least when it happens to an author, there’s a slight chance he or she will go back and fix his mistakes, which is something I did with American Darkness and will do with Occupy Wrestling as both books hold a 2.75 star rating on Good Reads and Amazon. The WWE, on the other hand, has exploited death over the past ten years three different times.
I’ll be a wrestling fan no matter what horrible shit happens between the ropes. But if you’re an author with your own brand, you can’t always rely on people always being a fan of you if you exploit death. Sure, it will make your villains the ultimate assholes, but if they keep doing it over and over again like it’s their whole gimmick, then it’ll just frustrate the reader to where he or she won’t want to read anything by you again.
The one thing you can take away from this journal, if nothing else, is that villains were made to be hated, but it’s also okay if they’re liked every once and a while as well. And what do you know? The WWE has villainous wrestlers who are cheered (Kevin Owens) and heroic wrestlers who are booed (Roman Reigns). I just hope Kevin Owens doesn’t find out where The Ultimate Warrior is buried and piss on his grave. That would be bad for business. We’ve got ears, say cheers!
***POISON TONGUE TALES***
Would you believe it if I told you I only have three more short stories to write for Poison Tongue Tales before I meet my quota? I didn’t believe it at first either. I knew I had a lot of stories, but not 47. Number 48 will be one called “Wasteland” and it goes like this:
CHARACTERS:
Faye Blood, Human Monk
Marco Torres, Human Thug
Rook Maxwell, Human Dark Paladin
PROMPT CONFORMITY: N/A
SYNOPSIS: Faye has been wandering the desert wasteland for days and is exhausted from dehydration. Her monk teachings don’t allow her to attack other travelers to steal their water, but at this point, Faye has no other choice. When she sees Marco and Rook making out in their tent and wasting water by pouring it over each other for added effect, Faye figures that she’s justified in stealing their water. Her martial arts training will get her through almost any battle. Will it get her through this one if she’s caught?
***WRESTLING JOKE OF THE DAY***
Since NXT wrestlers Zack Ryder and Mojo Rawley like to call themselves The Hype Bros, then they probably won’t mind calling their tag team finishing move The Bro Job. Then Byron Saxton can make an awkward joke on commentary about how Zack and Mojo have an “in-your-face” style of wrestling.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
WWE Tough Enough
***BEFORE I BEGIN***
From now on, every piece of writing I do, whether it’s a short story, novel chapter, review, or blog entry, will be posted on ALL of my social media accounts, not just certain ones. A year ago, I made the decision to post my Garrison’s Library entries on Deviant Art. Why isn’t all of my writing on all of my accounts? That’s a lot of untapped potential that’s going to waste. This journal entry would normally be meant for Deviant Art, but why stop there? Enjoy!
***WWE TOUGH ENOUGH***
Every once and a while, my step-dad Dale will call upstairs to my room and tell me that WWE Tough Enough is on TV. Yes, it’s a WWE production and as everyone here knows, I can’t shut up about wrestling. But if there’s one show I try to avoid every time it comes on, it’s Tough Enough. If you’re not familiar with the show, it’s a reality TV competition where a bunch of rookies learn how to wrestle. Here’s why it’s called Tough Enough: because the trainers and judges have a boot camp mentality where screaming and insulting the competitors will eventually motivate them to do the right things in the ring.
It may be that there’s some truth in harsh motivation being good for an athlete or a combatant. But that doesn’t mean I enjoy watching it. In fact, watching the upper echelon scream their heads off at those below makes me feel uncomfortable. It reminds me of other relationships in life where there’s a ridiculous imbalance of power: bank robbers and hostages, rapists and women, drunken step-dads and small children, conformist teachers and imaginative students, etc.
Just one time during a boot camp scenario like this would I like to see some insubordination from the bottom tier. Maybe one of the competitors will get fed up with the trainers’ shit and throw a metal dumbbell at one of them. Maybe Paige (one of the judges) will tell someone to get off the stage and that someone will tell her to remove the A and E from her name. Maybe Daniel Bryan (another judge) will tell someone they have no charisma and that person will pull a pair of clippers out of his gym bag and shave Daniel’s beard off.
I’m sure insubordination has happened before on an episode of Tough Enough, but I wouldn’t know, because it’s a rare occurrence. Either the competitors are too scared of losing their spots or they have too much respect for authority. As long as there’s an overwhelming imbalance of power, it will keep me from watching Tough Enough or any other show with screaming authority figures. That being said, Full Metal Jacket makes me want to vomit.
You’ve gotten this far in my journal and have also read the entirety of Occupy Wrestling, my latest self-published novel. You probably feel like calling me out on a hypocrisy since at the end of Occupy Wrestling, Debra flies to Japan to train in a wrestling dojo where there’s absolutely no shortage of harsh motivation. The only reason I put that in the story is because I needed a believable reason for her to suddenly be good at fighting. I’ll tell you right now that just because it happens in my stories, I in no way endorse nor condone drill sergeant motivation. Maybe that’s because I myself would crack easily under pressure in such a situation because of my schizophrenia and autism. Harsh motivation may work for a lot of people, but that doesn’t mean I have to endorse it.
In short, if you’ve heard me talk about WWE and were wondering if I watch Tough Enough every week, the answer is no. It makes me feel vicariously bad for the competitors, especially since it’s unscripted. I also won’t be watching Summer Slam this year for two reasons. One, I’ve cancelled my subscription to the WWE Network due to it crapping out every time I want to watch a pay-per-view. And two, on that same day, I’m going to see Slipknot, Three Days Grace, Lamb of God, and a bunch of other metal bands perform at the White River Amphitheater. If the WWE wants me to watch their major shows, then I guess I’ll order a PPV through my cable provider and pay $50 for it. Granted, John Layfield will call me an idiot for doing so, but that just magnifies his status as an asshole commentator.
We’ve got ears, say cheers!
***WRESTLING JOKE OF THE DAY***
Q: Who is John Layfield’s favorite rapper?
A: Maggle-More.
From now on, every piece of writing I do, whether it’s a short story, novel chapter, review, or blog entry, will be posted on ALL of my social media accounts, not just certain ones. A year ago, I made the decision to post my Garrison’s Library entries on Deviant Art. Why isn’t all of my writing on all of my accounts? That’s a lot of untapped potential that’s going to waste. This journal entry would normally be meant for Deviant Art, but why stop there? Enjoy!
***WWE TOUGH ENOUGH***
Every once and a while, my step-dad Dale will call upstairs to my room and tell me that WWE Tough Enough is on TV. Yes, it’s a WWE production and as everyone here knows, I can’t shut up about wrestling. But if there’s one show I try to avoid every time it comes on, it’s Tough Enough. If you’re not familiar with the show, it’s a reality TV competition where a bunch of rookies learn how to wrestle. Here’s why it’s called Tough Enough: because the trainers and judges have a boot camp mentality where screaming and insulting the competitors will eventually motivate them to do the right things in the ring.
It may be that there’s some truth in harsh motivation being good for an athlete or a combatant. But that doesn’t mean I enjoy watching it. In fact, watching the upper echelon scream their heads off at those below makes me feel uncomfortable. It reminds me of other relationships in life where there’s a ridiculous imbalance of power: bank robbers and hostages, rapists and women, drunken step-dads and small children, conformist teachers and imaginative students, etc.
Just one time during a boot camp scenario like this would I like to see some insubordination from the bottom tier. Maybe one of the competitors will get fed up with the trainers’ shit and throw a metal dumbbell at one of them. Maybe Paige (one of the judges) will tell someone to get off the stage and that someone will tell her to remove the A and E from her name. Maybe Daniel Bryan (another judge) will tell someone they have no charisma and that person will pull a pair of clippers out of his gym bag and shave Daniel’s beard off.
I’m sure insubordination has happened before on an episode of Tough Enough, but I wouldn’t know, because it’s a rare occurrence. Either the competitors are too scared of losing their spots or they have too much respect for authority. As long as there’s an overwhelming imbalance of power, it will keep me from watching Tough Enough or any other show with screaming authority figures. That being said, Full Metal Jacket makes me want to vomit.
You’ve gotten this far in my journal and have also read the entirety of Occupy Wrestling, my latest self-published novel. You probably feel like calling me out on a hypocrisy since at the end of Occupy Wrestling, Debra flies to Japan to train in a wrestling dojo where there’s absolutely no shortage of harsh motivation. The only reason I put that in the story is because I needed a believable reason for her to suddenly be good at fighting. I’ll tell you right now that just because it happens in my stories, I in no way endorse nor condone drill sergeant motivation. Maybe that’s because I myself would crack easily under pressure in such a situation because of my schizophrenia and autism. Harsh motivation may work for a lot of people, but that doesn’t mean I have to endorse it.
In short, if you’ve heard me talk about WWE and were wondering if I watch Tough Enough every week, the answer is no. It makes me feel vicariously bad for the competitors, especially since it’s unscripted. I also won’t be watching Summer Slam this year for two reasons. One, I’ve cancelled my subscription to the WWE Network due to it crapping out every time I want to watch a pay-per-view. And two, on that same day, I’m going to see Slipknot, Three Days Grace, Lamb of God, and a bunch of other metal bands perform at the White River Amphitheater. If the WWE wants me to watch their major shows, then I guess I’ll order a PPV through my cable provider and pay $50 for it. Granted, John Layfield will call me an idiot for doing so, but that just magnifies his status as an asshole commentator.
We’ve got ears, say cheers!
***WRESTLING JOKE OF THE DAY***
Q: Who is John Layfield’s favorite rapper?
A: Maggle-More.
Sunday, June 28, 2015
WWE Survivor Series: AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella
MATCH: AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella for the Divas Championship
PROMOTION: World Wrestling Entertainment
EVENT: Survivor Series
YEAR: 2014
RATING: TV-PG for violence
GRADE: Fail
Legendary WWE commentator Jim Ross said it best when being interviewed by Give Me Sport: “The diva’s division is in trouble.” He didn’t mince words, he didn’t sugarcoat, he told it like it is. From the 1990’s to the 2000’s, women’s wrestling in the WWE didn’t used to be all that painful to watch. Back then, you had high flyers like Lita, technical geniuses like Trish Stratus, and muscle-bound neck snappers like Chyna. They didn’t just roll around to entice the male viewers; they actually put on wrestling clinics. There were even times when the wrestled men that were much bigger and stronger than them. Fast forward to the 2010’s and Trish Stratus and Lita are in the WWE Hall of Fame while Chyna has been snubbed due to her being a porn actress who could be Googled by small children.
My, how the times have changed. Today’s divas division isn’t about wrestling or enticement anymore. It’s about making the women look inferior to the men. Instead of badass wrestlers like the ones I’ve mentioned in the first paragraph, you’ve got super skinny lingerie models with pretty faces and Barbie bodies struggling to perform the most basic wrestling maneuvers whether they’re clotheslines, scoop slams, suplexes, or dropkicks. You think we’re going to get a divas Hell in a Cell match anytime soon? If we did, it would only last 30 seconds like most women’s matches did in the 2010’s. It got so bad that as a heel announcer at the time, Michael Cole would go out of his way to bury the divas division, whether he was pretending to sleep at the announce table or picking up a microphone to tell the girls to hurry up and finish their matches. People like to say that there are real wrestlers in this division like Paige, Natalya, and Naomi, but when placed in the ring with Barbie dolls, their chemistry is screwed up and it turns out to be a less than 1-star match.
At Survivor Series in 2014, it was more of the same when AJ Lee was scheduled to defend her WWE Divas Championship against Nikki Bella with the latter’s twin sister Brie hanging around at ringside. In 2013 on the same pay-per-view, AJ Lee, Nikki Bella, and a bunch of other divas competed in a 7-on-7 elimination tag team match, which caught the attention of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter as the Worst Worked Match of 2013.
Fast forward to the buildup towards Survivor Series 2014 and Nikki and Brie were actually feuding with each other. With piss-poor acting, no real reason for the feud to happen, unrealistic dialogue, and appearances by Stephanie McMahon and Jerry Springer, this rivalry would go on to win Worst Feud of 2014, also in the Wrestling Observer Newsletter. So far, the Bella Twins collectively have won two awards from that publication, but not in a good way. It didn’t help matters that the twins also received a Gooker Award from Wrestlecrap.com for their rivalry. Nice job, ladies.
And now we come to Survivor Series 2014 in what is supposed to be a competitive match-up for the Divas Championship. AJ Lee aka Mrs. CM Punk is ready for action against the challenger Nikki Bella aka Mrs. John Cena. The bell is rung and the match begins…but not without Brie Bella aka Mrs. Daniel Bryan standing on the ring apron wanting AJ Lee’s attention. Once Brie got it, she pulled AJ’s face into hers and planted a not-so-romantic lesbian kiss on her lips. The reasoning for this would later be revealed as revenge for AJ doing the same thing to Daniel Bryan at the Wrestlemania 28 pay-per-view and costing him the World Heavyweight Championship. And now Brie has cost AJ the Divas Championship. As soon as the geek goddess backs up into Nikki Bella, Nikki heaves the skinny chick on her shoulders and plants her down in a move called the Rack Attack. Nikki pinned AJ 1-2-3 and became the new champion in less than 30 seconds.
When I reviewed the match between Daniel Bryan and Sheamus at Wrestlemania 28, I gave it a failing grade because I wanted to see a war between those two. I wanted bloodshed, bruising, beatings, and battles and all I got was 18 seconds of garbage. I should apply the same logic to this match, but really, who wants to see two skinny divas with no meat on their bones prance around the ring like pixies? That meat on the bones comment wasn’t a joke; when AJ Lee gets put in a submission hold, you can see her ribcage. Yuck!
When Jim Ross said the divas division needed help, he knew exactly who could help them. If you’re tired of pointless divas matches on WWE, fear not, because the end is not the answer. All you have to do is subscribe to Hulu or the WWE Network and watch a weekly Wednesday show called NXT. The NXT divas are MUCH different from the ones on the main roster. Not only do they know how to wrestle, they know how to wrestle five-star matches. Who will ever forget the epic encounter between Charlotte (Ric Flair’s daughter) and Natalya (Bret Hart’s niece) over the vacant NXT Women’s Championship, where technical wrestling and meaty bodies were on tap that night. What about the match at NXT Unstoppable between Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks? Those two put it all on the line and did moves that no skinny model chick could ever do. Hell, those two matches had the crowd chanting, “This is wrestling!” Yes, it is, Full Sail University. Yes, it is.
Can the divas division on WWE’s main roster be saved? I’d like to think it can. I try to be optimistic about that sort of thing. The only way it can happen is if WWE puts more emphasis on wrestling (the second W) than entertainment (the E), but then again, mocking women who can’t wrestle isn’t very entertaining for any crowd.
PROMOTION: World Wrestling Entertainment
EVENT: Survivor Series
YEAR: 2014
RATING: TV-PG for violence
GRADE: Fail
Legendary WWE commentator Jim Ross said it best when being interviewed by Give Me Sport: “The diva’s division is in trouble.” He didn’t mince words, he didn’t sugarcoat, he told it like it is. From the 1990’s to the 2000’s, women’s wrestling in the WWE didn’t used to be all that painful to watch. Back then, you had high flyers like Lita, technical geniuses like Trish Stratus, and muscle-bound neck snappers like Chyna. They didn’t just roll around to entice the male viewers; they actually put on wrestling clinics. There were even times when the wrestled men that were much bigger and stronger than them. Fast forward to the 2010’s and Trish Stratus and Lita are in the WWE Hall of Fame while Chyna has been snubbed due to her being a porn actress who could be Googled by small children.
My, how the times have changed. Today’s divas division isn’t about wrestling or enticement anymore. It’s about making the women look inferior to the men. Instead of badass wrestlers like the ones I’ve mentioned in the first paragraph, you’ve got super skinny lingerie models with pretty faces and Barbie bodies struggling to perform the most basic wrestling maneuvers whether they’re clotheslines, scoop slams, suplexes, or dropkicks. You think we’re going to get a divas Hell in a Cell match anytime soon? If we did, it would only last 30 seconds like most women’s matches did in the 2010’s. It got so bad that as a heel announcer at the time, Michael Cole would go out of his way to bury the divas division, whether he was pretending to sleep at the announce table or picking up a microphone to tell the girls to hurry up and finish their matches. People like to say that there are real wrestlers in this division like Paige, Natalya, and Naomi, but when placed in the ring with Barbie dolls, their chemistry is screwed up and it turns out to be a less than 1-star match.
At Survivor Series in 2014, it was more of the same when AJ Lee was scheduled to defend her WWE Divas Championship against Nikki Bella with the latter’s twin sister Brie hanging around at ringside. In 2013 on the same pay-per-view, AJ Lee, Nikki Bella, and a bunch of other divas competed in a 7-on-7 elimination tag team match, which caught the attention of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter as the Worst Worked Match of 2013.
Fast forward to the buildup towards Survivor Series 2014 and Nikki and Brie were actually feuding with each other. With piss-poor acting, no real reason for the feud to happen, unrealistic dialogue, and appearances by Stephanie McMahon and Jerry Springer, this rivalry would go on to win Worst Feud of 2014, also in the Wrestling Observer Newsletter. So far, the Bella Twins collectively have won two awards from that publication, but not in a good way. It didn’t help matters that the twins also received a Gooker Award from Wrestlecrap.com for their rivalry. Nice job, ladies.
And now we come to Survivor Series 2014 in what is supposed to be a competitive match-up for the Divas Championship. AJ Lee aka Mrs. CM Punk is ready for action against the challenger Nikki Bella aka Mrs. John Cena. The bell is rung and the match begins…but not without Brie Bella aka Mrs. Daniel Bryan standing on the ring apron wanting AJ Lee’s attention. Once Brie got it, she pulled AJ’s face into hers and planted a not-so-romantic lesbian kiss on her lips. The reasoning for this would later be revealed as revenge for AJ doing the same thing to Daniel Bryan at the Wrestlemania 28 pay-per-view and costing him the World Heavyweight Championship. And now Brie has cost AJ the Divas Championship. As soon as the geek goddess backs up into Nikki Bella, Nikki heaves the skinny chick on her shoulders and plants her down in a move called the Rack Attack. Nikki pinned AJ 1-2-3 and became the new champion in less than 30 seconds.
When I reviewed the match between Daniel Bryan and Sheamus at Wrestlemania 28, I gave it a failing grade because I wanted to see a war between those two. I wanted bloodshed, bruising, beatings, and battles and all I got was 18 seconds of garbage. I should apply the same logic to this match, but really, who wants to see two skinny divas with no meat on their bones prance around the ring like pixies? That meat on the bones comment wasn’t a joke; when AJ Lee gets put in a submission hold, you can see her ribcage. Yuck!
When Jim Ross said the divas division needed help, he knew exactly who could help them. If you’re tired of pointless divas matches on WWE, fear not, because the end is not the answer. All you have to do is subscribe to Hulu or the WWE Network and watch a weekly Wednesday show called NXT. The NXT divas are MUCH different from the ones on the main roster. Not only do they know how to wrestle, they know how to wrestle five-star matches. Who will ever forget the epic encounter between Charlotte (Ric Flair’s daughter) and Natalya (Bret Hart’s niece) over the vacant NXT Women’s Championship, where technical wrestling and meaty bodies were on tap that night. What about the match at NXT Unstoppable between Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks? Those two put it all on the line and did moves that no skinny model chick could ever do. Hell, those two matches had the crowd chanting, “This is wrestling!” Yes, it is, Full Sail University. Yes, it is.
Can the divas division on WWE’s main roster be saved? I’d like to think it can. I try to be optimistic about that sort of thing. The only way it can happen is if WWE puts more emphasis on wrestling (the second W) than entertainment (the E), but then again, mocking women who can’t wrestle isn’t very entertaining for any crowd.
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Clair Deus
NAME: Clair Deus
AGE: 24
OCCUPATION: Witch Hunter
CANON: None
Back in the years 2007 and 2008, whenever I was strapped for fantasy movie script ideas, I would come up with multiple lists of 100 original characters and randomly select from those lists to determine which ones would be in the same story. The list items would have a name, a race, and a class. That’s it. No back story, no psychology, no flaws, just the basics. The good stuff would be developed as I wrote the script. Unfortunately, Clair Deus, Human Witch Hunter, was never randomly chosen for a script, so she stayed on the list she was a part of indefinitely.
But the more I thought about the potential Clair Deus had, the more I began to develop her for no real reason inside my own head. I always envisioned her as a medieval dark fantasy version of Kate Beckinsale’s character from the Underworld saga. The few differences were, Clair had gothic makeup on her face and used crossbows and magic wands instead of guns and knives. Not much original thought put into Clair’s character, I agree.
It was the characters closest to her on the list that allowed me to develop her even further. Many of those extra characters had “mancer” in their class title. “Mancer” is a Greek suffix that signifies the person has magical powers in the prefix of his choosing. For example, a pyromancer works with fire, because pyro is a prefix for fire. A cryomancer uses ice, a hydromancer uses water, an electromancer uses lightning, and of course, we all know after playing Diablo II for half of our lives that necromancers deal in death. With so many people surrounding Clair Deus’ spot on the list with “mancer” in their job titles, you’d think she would have plenty of “witches” to choose from when she goes hunting for evil bastards.
All of these possibilities flowing through my head made me wonder why I couldn’t just cherry pick characters from these lists and do whatever the hell I goddamn want. I favor random selection for a number of reasons. One, it’s an exercise in discipline. If I force myself to conform my story to the selections I’ve made, I will have established myself as a disciplined writer who didn’t let his only form of controlled chaos get too overwhelming. Two, if I randomly select from whatever list I’m working with, I’m giving every list item an equal chance of being chosen. When everything has an equal chance and there’s no favoritism of any kind, that would be the equivalent of parents raising multiple children. I treat list items like I would treat my own children if I wanted any: with justice and fairness.
Although I use randomness every day whenever I’m working creatively (in fact, I use it to choose blog topics as well), Clair Deus will have to settle for being an unemployed character on Garrison’s Library. But if she stayed there indefinitely, it would defeat the purpose of having old characters’ biographies on my blog in the first place. I want to use Clair in a dark fantasy story someday. The question is, how big of a role will she play (if any at all) and will she have enough flaws to make her a believable character rather than a Mary-Sue badass? That’s the problem I’ve faced in the past with a lot of my dark fantasy characters: they were too perfect for their own good. Nobody likes perfection, because life is far from perfect. Although we should all strive to be better people, we will never be perfect, which is what makes real life such an interesting story. Shouldn’t Clair Deus’ story reflect that kind of creativity? And before you ask, no, Clair’s last name isn’t a recycling of Deus Shadowheart’s first name. The two characters are unrelated.
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