***MOST DISGUSTING PROMOTIONAL TACTICS OF 2015***
With the internet as prominent as it is and with backstage politics as easily accessible as they are, wrestling has easily become the most criticized form of entertainment, even by its own fans. A lot of the negativity stems from certain fans not seeing their favorite wrestlers succeed (Cesaro) or seeing their most hated wrestlers get an elevator ride to the top (Kane). It’s hard to maintain a positive attitude among the spoiled fans, but I’ve managed to do so and enjoy wrestling for what it truly is: entertainment.
Yes, I know this journal is about a negative award given by the Wrestling Observer Newsletter every year. I talk about it often, but not because I’m a negative human being. These award winners and runner-ups are a huge source of creative fuel for me. Creative fuel is essential to the life of an author. That, and I love to shock the shit out of people from time to time. The 2015 WON awards have been revealed and in this particular category, there were seven different candidates (one winner, six runner-ups). I’m going to work my way from the top of the list (the winner) to the very bottom. Starting with…
***AWARD WINNER***
EVENT: WWE using Reid Flair’s death to promote a feud between Charlotte and Paige.
REASON: I’ve talked about this before in the past and I’ll only speak briefly about it in the present. Death is a sensitive subject and to approach it with such classlessness is going to bring a lot of people either to tears or a boiling point. It was the case in 2013 when Paul Bearer’s death was exploited and in 2006 when Eddie Guerrero’s was as well.
EXAMPLE: The Westboro Baptist Church are the worst offenders when it comes to insensitivity toward the dead. They hold up “God Hates Fags” signs at funerals, claiming that God is killing off these now-dead people because America’s approval of homosexuality. I could actually picture a Fred Phelps caricature being used on an episode of WWE Raw and then that manager getting a Worst Gimmick award.
***FIRST RUNNER-UP***
EVENT: WWE botching the Divas Revolution.
REASON: Bringing up three badass female athletes to the main WWE roster seemed like a good idea on paper, but it doesn’t change the fact that WWE women’s matches are much different from NXT women’s matches. In NXT, the women are strong role models and bold risk takers, thus ensuring them five-star match accolades. In WWE, the women are sophomoric and have awkward choreography. In other words, nothing has changed on the main roster.
EXAMPLE: Let’s say for instance there’s a high fantasy story taking place and there’s a war going on between an army of orcs, an army of dwarves, and an army of elves. That’s a lot of goddamn warriors and that has potential for a lot of goddamn bloodshed. But let’s say the warriors get drunk and start fighting like middle schoolers. The best you could hope for at this point is a draw.
***SECOND RUNNER-UP***
EVENT: James Storm pushes Mickie James into an oncoming train.
REASON: I haven’t watched TNA since I gave up on them in late 2011. Having said that, we can all agree that it’s not very nice to push a defenseless woman into a moving train. Obviously, Mickie James didn’t die; it was a way to write her off television. But given the fact that trains are big fucking machines that move at a fierce goddamn velocity, the thought of Mickie James’ guts being spread all over the train station is just gross.
EXAMPLE: I used to watch episodes of Dudley Do-Right where the love interest of the main character would be tied onto railroad tracks while a steam train is blitzing her way. It’s a kid’s cartoon, so obviously the love interest was never splattered into a pile of blood and guts. But if you really think about it, that’s a screwed up way to kill somebody, especially a helpless woman whose only role on the show is to be saved by the masculine hero. That’s like something from Criminal Minds.
***THIRD RUNNER-UP***
EVENT: WWE exploiting Connor “The Crusher” Michalek when giving him the Warrior Award.
REASON: TV shows get accused of exploiting their guests all the time. Dr. Phil does it on a regular basis when he brings rape victims onto his show. The Biggest Loser is basically one big fat joke that spans several seasons. And now you’ve got WWE super fan and childhood cancer victim Connor Michalek being paraded around to show what great guys the WWE are…months before they exploit the death of Reid Flair.
EXAMPLE: I think I’ve already covered the examples when I brought up Dr. Phil and The Biggest Loser. What I haven’t covered is that every October, WWE parades around breast cancer survivors as part of their alliance with Susan G. Komen. The WWE neglects to mention that Susan G. Komen was responsible for de-funding Planned Parenthood and that the CEO of SGK pockets most of the donations.
***FOURTH RUNNER-UP***
EVENT: Lucha Underground televising matches where men beat up women.
REASON: With all of this talk in today’s world about “rape culture” and “a woman’s place”, haven’t these poor girls suffered enough without being assaulted by men on a weekly basis? I will admit that the WWE’s Stephanie McMahon is a pain in the ass and deserves a Worst Gimmick award in the most vile way. It doesn’t change the fact that if she was booked in a match to get a KO punch from The Big Show, the WWE would win this award and not the Lucha Underground. If you want Stephanie McMahon to get her ass kicked so badly, have Ronda Rousey do it; she won’t let you down. Plus, Ronda is all woman.
EXAMPLE: The movies North Country and Iron-Jawed Angels are perfect examples of male supremacy. You’ve got men sexually harassing and physically beating these women all because these females want the same societal status as their dick-swinging counterparts. I’ve seen North Country and it was the most disturbing movie I’ve ever watched. I haven’t seen Iron-Jawed Angels, nor do I want to since it’s basically the same male supremacy over and over again.
***FIFTH RUNNER-UP***
EVENT: Michael Cole doing a broken neck storyline directly after Perro Aguayo, Jr. died from whiplash.
REASON: I’m sure this wasn’t intentional mockery of Perro Aguayo’s situation, but the timing couldn’t have been worse than if it was 2005 and the WWE did a terrorist storyline on the day of the London bombings. Timing is everything when it comes to sensitive subjects. Which leads me to my next example…
EXAMPLE: Back in 2011, Fox pulled episodes of Family Guy, The Cleveland Show, and American Dad off the air because they were all about stormy weather and a hurricane had just past through…I forget where. Imagine that backlash against Fox if they hadn’t pulled those episodes, as if Seth MacFarlane doesn’t catch enough shit already.
***FINAL RUNNER-UP***
EVENT: WWE blackballing Hulk Hogan for his racist remarks in 2012 and then lionizing The Ultimate Warrior, who said just as bad or worse things in public.
REASON: Racism is racism no matter who it comes from. The only difference between Hulk Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior is that the latter is now dead and lionizing him would be the only way to honor his memory. Then again, if praising the dead was standard operating procedure, Chris Benoit would be a first ballot WWE Hall of Famer.
EXAMPLE: Racism is a touchy subject no matter which political or news channel you dial into. Donald Trump shoots his mouth off on a regular basis about Arabs, Mexicans, and black people, yet people cheer him on and encourage it. But whenever Al Sharpton talks about white privilege, suddenly the hammer gets brought down with a stiffness.
***CONCLUSION***
Creative fuel can come from anywhere. As far as the creative fuel from MDPT awards go, this is my way of not allowing tragedies to go to waste. Whenever authors write a story, there has to be a main problem and the protagonist has to go through hell in order to solve that problem. When drawing inspiration from these seven horrifying wrestling stories, think about that for a moment.
***WRESTLING JOKE OF THE DAY***
As long as the WWE is putting together tag teams based on their initials, let’s go old school with the pairing of Sting and Ted DiBiase (Team STD). Don’t worry about them giving you cross-body blocks, because Team STD is easy to catch.
Showing posts with label 2015. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2015. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Saturday, January 16, 2016
Necrocosm
VERSE 1
We’ve got hot and heavy action all night long
We’ve got hard-hitting brawlers so fucking strong
We’ve got hulking ogres who lift shit with ease
We’ve got flying ninjas who float through the breeze
Yet no matter how hard they smash each other
You all bitch and whine like you want your mothers
You might as well be asleep or even clinically dead
There aren’t enough pillows for all of your heads
CHORUS
Did you come here under protest or to see a show?
Scream like a horde of demons so we all know
Instead you fall asleep in your shallow graves
The necrocosm is what you all secretly crave
VERSE 2
The battered warriors are wondering what went wrong
Was the violence and mania just a little too damn strong?
Were the battle cries and political speeches too damn long?
Have you all had enough of this heavy metal song?
Too fucking bad, sit your asses in your comfy seats
Enjoy the fucking show and let us know your heart beats
The necrocosm is going out of business forever
Because zombies don’t give a shit about fiery weather
CHORUS
Did you come here under protest or to see a show?
Scream like a horde of demons so we all know
Instead you fall asleep in your shallow graves
The necrocosm is what you all secretly crave
HOOK
You wasted your money for a ticket you didn’t want
Then you rant online in the biggest fucking word font
You bitch and whine like an entitled little baby brat
Still the bloody warriors slam each other to the mat
EXTENDED CHORUS
Did you come here under protest or to see a show?
Scream like a horde of demons so we all know
Instead you fall asleep in your shallow graves
The necrocosm is what you all secretly crave
A casket match is meant for the fighters only
Not for the bitchy fans so righteous and holy
The necrocosm doesn’t want your blood money
The necrocosm doesn’t think you’re fucking funny
We’ve got hot and heavy action all night long
We’ve got hard-hitting brawlers so fucking strong
We’ve got hulking ogres who lift shit with ease
We’ve got flying ninjas who float through the breeze
Yet no matter how hard they smash each other
You all bitch and whine like you want your mothers
You might as well be asleep or even clinically dead
There aren’t enough pillows for all of your heads
CHORUS
Did you come here under protest or to see a show?
Scream like a horde of demons so we all know
Instead you fall asleep in your shallow graves
The necrocosm is what you all secretly crave
VERSE 2
The battered warriors are wondering what went wrong
Was the violence and mania just a little too damn strong?
Were the battle cries and political speeches too damn long?
Have you all had enough of this heavy metal song?
Too fucking bad, sit your asses in your comfy seats
Enjoy the fucking show and let us know your heart beats
The necrocosm is going out of business forever
Because zombies don’t give a shit about fiery weather
CHORUS
Did you come here under protest or to see a show?
Scream like a horde of demons so we all know
Instead you fall asleep in your shallow graves
The necrocosm is what you all secretly crave
HOOK
You wasted your money for a ticket you didn’t want
Then you rant online in the biggest fucking word font
You bitch and whine like an entitled little baby brat
Still the bloody warriors slam each other to the mat
EXTENDED CHORUS
Did you come here under protest or to see a show?
Scream like a horde of demons so we all know
Instead you fall asleep in your shallow graves
The necrocosm is what you all secretly crave
A casket match is meant for the fighters only
Not for the bitchy fans so righteous and holy
The necrocosm doesn’t want your blood money
The necrocosm doesn’t think you’re fucking funny
Thursday, December 24, 2015
Merry Christmas 2015
***MERRY CHRISTMAS 2015***
As I begin writing this journal entry, it’s seven o’clock at night, which means we’ve got five hours before Christmas day officially begins. As long as we’re this close to the holiday season, I want to wish all of you a Merry Christmas. Those are two words I could listen to over and over again. As I’ve said in the past, I don’t see Christmas as catering to a religion I’m not a part of. I see it as a magical time of year that we can all enjoy. It’s about families and friends being closer together and continuing that theme of closeness all throughout the years to come.
But Christmas isn’t without its negative connotations. I look all over the internet and no matter where I go, I always see someone acting like a Grinch. “Oh, Christmas is such hard work!” “Oh, I don’t want any presents this year!” “Oh, I hate Christmas, blah, blah, blah!” What could possibly be so wrong with such a happy time of the year? If you don’t like going out to shop for presents, order them on Amazon. If you don’t like the people you spend this holiday with, get some new people. Having a negative attitude toward Christmas is a lot like going to Disneyland, the happiest place on earth, and shitting on all of the seats to the roller coasters. Negativity never did anybody any good.
Last year’s Christmas was such a magical time for me that I held onto that spirit all throughout 2015 and became a happier person over the proceeding months. December 2014 will always be remembered as the month I went to San Diego to spend a day at Lego Land, another theme park that could be considered the happiest place on earth. That vacation was so much fun in so many ways: there was Lego Land, the San Diego Wildlife Park, strolling the beaches to guzzle eye candy, and it was all capped off by watching a movie at the cinemas called St. Vincent, which I’ve done a review for and gave a passing grade.
I held onto that feeling of happiness all throughout 2015 and a lot of positive things happened that year as a result. I rekindled my friendship with Marie Krepps and we’ve been beta reading for each other ever since. I vacationed in Victoria, Canada with my family and had a relaxing time. I saw Cavalera Conspiracy in concert and rocked the fuck out. I saw a symphonic band called Distant Worlds, whose music of choice was the Final Fantasy soundtrack. I got to see Slipknot, Lamb of God, and Three Days Grace on the same show and rocked the fuck out yet again. I got to wear a Slipknot costume for Halloween and I scared the shit out of everyone around me. The year was also a good one for reading, writing, and editing books. I currently have three active books on the market right now and despite their star-ratings, I can safely say I’m proud of all of them.
The point I’m trying to make is, don’t let Christmas become a disdainful experience for you. Find happiness in this generally happy holiday. If you get a CD as a present, rock out to it as much as possible. If you eat a big dinner, savor every last bite. If you’re spending the holiday with people you love, love them even more. Being a Grinch or a Scrooge is no good for no one. This is a day of celebration no matter which god you worship (or lack thereof). Be thankful for every good thing that happens to you on this day and bypass every bad thing. The more thankful you are, the more things you will have to be thankful for. If I sound like I’m parroting Rhonda Byrne, it’s because I am. Squawk! Squawk! Polly wants a cracker! Squawk!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
***WWE MATCH REVIEW***
Last week, my television burned out, so I used money I saved up to buy a replacement. Thanks to that replacement, I was able to watch WWE NXT Takeover: London. It was a superior show top to bottom. Even the crowd was alive and well for these matches. They used S and F words despite the show being rated TV-PG and they even sang Beatles songs during matches. Although every match was great, the one I’d really like to give my next passing grade to is the NXT Women’s Championship match between Bayley (the champion) and Nia Jax (the challenger). Corey Graves referred to the size discrepancy of this match as being like Manny Pacquiao vs. Mike Tyson: two talented competitors from FAR different weight classes. Even so, it was the heart and the guts of the much smaller Bayley that won her the match by submission.
***PARODY LYRICS OF THE DAY***
“Here’s a little story about Garrison Kelly. He ate a bunch of food and got a big belly. He tried to exercise, but he got winded. His gym membership was rescinded. You don’t bring a knife to a gunfight! You’ll lose!”
-Sick Puppies singing “Gunfight”, but with my lyric modifications-
As I begin writing this journal entry, it’s seven o’clock at night, which means we’ve got five hours before Christmas day officially begins. As long as we’re this close to the holiday season, I want to wish all of you a Merry Christmas. Those are two words I could listen to over and over again. As I’ve said in the past, I don’t see Christmas as catering to a religion I’m not a part of. I see it as a magical time of year that we can all enjoy. It’s about families and friends being closer together and continuing that theme of closeness all throughout the years to come.
But Christmas isn’t without its negative connotations. I look all over the internet and no matter where I go, I always see someone acting like a Grinch. “Oh, Christmas is such hard work!” “Oh, I don’t want any presents this year!” “Oh, I hate Christmas, blah, blah, blah!” What could possibly be so wrong with such a happy time of the year? If you don’t like going out to shop for presents, order them on Amazon. If you don’t like the people you spend this holiday with, get some new people. Having a negative attitude toward Christmas is a lot like going to Disneyland, the happiest place on earth, and shitting on all of the seats to the roller coasters. Negativity never did anybody any good.
Last year’s Christmas was such a magical time for me that I held onto that spirit all throughout 2015 and became a happier person over the proceeding months. December 2014 will always be remembered as the month I went to San Diego to spend a day at Lego Land, another theme park that could be considered the happiest place on earth. That vacation was so much fun in so many ways: there was Lego Land, the San Diego Wildlife Park, strolling the beaches to guzzle eye candy, and it was all capped off by watching a movie at the cinemas called St. Vincent, which I’ve done a review for and gave a passing grade.
I held onto that feeling of happiness all throughout 2015 and a lot of positive things happened that year as a result. I rekindled my friendship with Marie Krepps and we’ve been beta reading for each other ever since. I vacationed in Victoria, Canada with my family and had a relaxing time. I saw Cavalera Conspiracy in concert and rocked the fuck out. I saw a symphonic band called Distant Worlds, whose music of choice was the Final Fantasy soundtrack. I got to see Slipknot, Lamb of God, and Three Days Grace on the same show and rocked the fuck out yet again. I got to wear a Slipknot costume for Halloween and I scared the shit out of everyone around me. The year was also a good one for reading, writing, and editing books. I currently have three active books on the market right now and despite their star-ratings, I can safely say I’m proud of all of them.
The point I’m trying to make is, don’t let Christmas become a disdainful experience for you. Find happiness in this generally happy holiday. If you get a CD as a present, rock out to it as much as possible. If you eat a big dinner, savor every last bite. If you’re spending the holiday with people you love, love them even more. Being a Grinch or a Scrooge is no good for no one. This is a day of celebration no matter which god you worship (or lack thereof). Be thankful for every good thing that happens to you on this day and bypass every bad thing. The more thankful you are, the more things you will have to be thankful for. If I sound like I’m parroting Rhonda Byrne, it’s because I am. Squawk! Squawk! Polly wants a cracker! Squawk!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
***WWE MATCH REVIEW***
Last week, my television burned out, so I used money I saved up to buy a replacement. Thanks to that replacement, I was able to watch WWE NXT Takeover: London. It was a superior show top to bottom. Even the crowd was alive and well for these matches. They used S and F words despite the show being rated TV-PG and they even sang Beatles songs during matches. Although every match was great, the one I’d really like to give my next passing grade to is the NXT Women’s Championship match between Bayley (the champion) and Nia Jax (the challenger). Corey Graves referred to the size discrepancy of this match as being like Manny Pacquiao vs. Mike Tyson: two talented competitors from FAR different weight classes. Even so, it was the heart and the guts of the much smaller Bayley that won her the match by submission.
***PARODY LYRICS OF THE DAY***
“Here’s a little story about Garrison Kelly. He ate a bunch of food and got a big belly. He tried to exercise, but he got winded. His gym membership was rescinded. You don’t bring a knife to a gunfight! You’ll lose!”
-Sick Puppies singing “Gunfight”, but with my lyric modifications-
Sunday, December 20, 2015
"A Naughty New Year's Eve" by Marie Krepps
BOOK TITLE: A Naughty New Year’s Eve
AUTHOR: Marie Krepps
YEAR: 2015
GENRE: Fictional Short Story
SUBGENRE: Vampire Erotica
GRADE: Pass
If you’re a reader of Marie Krepps’ “Some By Day, Some By Night” series, you’ve probably had this fantasy at least five or six times: the curvy Marla and the supermodel Morgan getting it on. Not only will Ms. Krepps’ short story make your wildest fantasies come true, it’ll make them last for as long as it takes you to climax. Forget the bed of roses, the sugary chocolates, and the silly cheese balls. No formalities here, just good old fashioned love-making between two of the sexiest vampires in the world of literature today. These two have had enough violence and war to last them an eternity as vampires. Let them have a little fun every once and a while!
As someone who reads Marie Krepps’ work on a frequent basis, I know firsthand that she doesn’t fool around when it comes to the sex scenes. Her characters will lick, kiss, suck, and squeeze every inch of each other’s bodies before the story really begins to earn its X-rating with the rough penetration and the endless passion. It should come as no surprise that this woman once had a book of short stories called Box of Chocolates. Trust me when I say, reading this short story will be a more orgasmic experience than swallowing the entire Hershey’s Chocolate factory and chasing it with a Twix bar. And by the way, left Twix and right Twix bars are the same damn thing, so go ahead and pull out your packing tape…but only if Marla and Morgan are the ones doing the binding. Hehe!
On a less perverted note, Marie isn’t just writing short story after short story: she’s building an entire world for these vampires to live in. The entire series of vampire erotica novels and stories is called “Some By Day, Some By Night”. This sexy adventure could be considered a vacation from the bloodshed, gore, and heartache the other stories bring about (not that those things are bad, but we all need a little hot action every once and a while). It’s a reminder just to relax and have fun with your life instead of taking everything too seriously all the time. I could learn to enjoy that message.
One last thing and then I’ll leave you all to your sexily fun reading adventure. In case you guys weren’t aware, Marie has been my personal mentor since the beginning of 2015. As a mentor, she always encourages me to show instead of tell. In other words, don’t tell us that Mitch McLeod is angry, show us his intense body language. In the case of Marie’s short story “A Naughty New Year’s Eve”, she practices what she preaches, and that’s what makes the sexy action so hot and boner-worthy to begin with. We can see with our own eyes what these two horny young ladies are doing to each other. The more we see, the more energetic we become.
Marie is an independent author through and through, but she writes like a pro and speaks like a badass. Every passing and extra credit grade I’ve given to her was earned through hard work and sagely wisdom. I’d like to think it takes a great deal of wisdom to be a writer and a mentor. If that’s the case, then I’m proud to be learning from the best. A passing grade will be assigned to this ultra-steamy sex story. She knocked it out of the park yet again!
AUTHOR: Marie Krepps
YEAR: 2015
GENRE: Fictional Short Story
SUBGENRE: Vampire Erotica
GRADE: Pass
If you’re a reader of Marie Krepps’ “Some By Day, Some By Night” series, you’ve probably had this fantasy at least five or six times: the curvy Marla and the supermodel Morgan getting it on. Not only will Ms. Krepps’ short story make your wildest fantasies come true, it’ll make them last for as long as it takes you to climax. Forget the bed of roses, the sugary chocolates, and the silly cheese balls. No formalities here, just good old fashioned love-making between two of the sexiest vampires in the world of literature today. These two have had enough violence and war to last them an eternity as vampires. Let them have a little fun every once and a while!
As someone who reads Marie Krepps’ work on a frequent basis, I know firsthand that she doesn’t fool around when it comes to the sex scenes. Her characters will lick, kiss, suck, and squeeze every inch of each other’s bodies before the story really begins to earn its X-rating with the rough penetration and the endless passion. It should come as no surprise that this woman once had a book of short stories called Box of Chocolates. Trust me when I say, reading this short story will be a more orgasmic experience than swallowing the entire Hershey’s Chocolate factory and chasing it with a Twix bar. And by the way, left Twix and right Twix bars are the same damn thing, so go ahead and pull out your packing tape…but only if Marla and Morgan are the ones doing the binding. Hehe!
On a less perverted note, Marie isn’t just writing short story after short story: she’s building an entire world for these vampires to live in. The entire series of vampire erotica novels and stories is called “Some By Day, Some By Night”. This sexy adventure could be considered a vacation from the bloodshed, gore, and heartache the other stories bring about (not that those things are bad, but we all need a little hot action every once and a while). It’s a reminder just to relax and have fun with your life instead of taking everything too seriously all the time. I could learn to enjoy that message.
One last thing and then I’ll leave you all to your sexily fun reading adventure. In case you guys weren’t aware, Marie has been my personal mentor since the beginning of 2015. As a mentor, she always encourages me to show instead of tell. In other words, don’t tell us that Mitch McLeod is angry, show us his intense body language. In the case of Marie’s short story “A Naughty New Year’s Eve”, she practices what she preaches, and that’s what makes the sexy action so hot and boner-worthy to begin with. We can see with our own eyes what these two horny young ladies are doing to each other. The more we see, the more energetic we become.
Marie is an independent author through and through, but she writes like a pro and speaks like a badass. Every passing and extra credit grade I’ve given to her was earned through hard work and sagely wisdom. I’d like to think it takes a great deal of wisdom to be a writer and a mentor. If that’s the case, then I’m proud to be learning from the best. A passing grade will be assigned to this ultra-steamy sex story. She knocked it out of the park yet again!
Monday, December 14, 2015
WWE TLC: The ECW Originals vs. The Wyatt Family
MATCH: The ECW Originals (Bubba-Ray Dudley, D-Von Dudley, Tommy Dreamer, and Rhyno) vs. The Wyatt Family (Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper, Erick Rowan, and Braun Strowman) in an eight-man tag team elimination tables match.
PROMOTION: World Wrestling Entertainment
EVENT: TLC: Tables, Ladders, and Chairs
YEAR: 2015
RATING: TV-PG for violence
GRADE: Mixed
All throughout the 1990’s, Extreme Championship Wrestling defined the spirit of hardcore wrestling. Power bombs through flaming wooden tables, Irish whips into skin-shredding razor wire, repeated kendo stick shots until the opponent bled buckets, high flying dives off of the tallest structures, broken bones, insane fan participation, and saying “Thank you, sir, may I have another?!” the next day. If you wrestled for ECW, you couldn’t just be a moderately good athlete. You had to be tough as nails, nasty as hell, and maybe even godlike at times. The pain you will suffer, the scars you will obtain, the blood you will spill will all be in the name of legitimizing professional wrestling. ECW has since closed its doors permanently in 2001, but Bubba-Ray Dudley, D-Von Dudley, Tommy Dreamer, and Rhyno are invoking the spirit for this confrontation at TLC.
Good luck, boys, because The Wyatt Family has dominated the WWE on a consistent basis for three whole years, temporary separation aside. All four of these stable members are giants among insects. In addition to towering over all of their opponents, their scraggly facial hair, ugly faces, sheep masks, and cultist mind games give them a psychological edge in their matches. Just imagine if Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper, Erick Rowan, and Braun Strowman came to your door to deliver a pizza. Could you in all good consciousness eat that pizza knowing four zombie rednecks with serial killer mindsets are the ones at your doorstep? You’d better give them a million dollar tip lest you be squashed and strangled to death by these behemoths of men.
It’s only right that four hardcore extremists and four monstrous hillbillies get together for a tables match, where the rules are simple: if a wrestler gets slammed through a wooden table, he must go back to the locker room and wait for the match to be over. The losing team is the one who has all of their members slammed through tables. There are no pin falls, no submissions, no count-outs, and no disqualifications. If you can dream it up in your sick and twisted imagination, you can do whatever the hell you want to your opponents in this kind of match. Hell, you might even get a way with bending the limits of a TV-PG environment.
As soon as both four-man teams made their entrances, they stared each other down and waited for that bell to ring. When it rang, nobody was safe. Punches, kicks, slams, head butts, elbows, these basic moves turned a wrestling match into a head-stomping, mosh-pitting riot. These wrestlers already do a good enough job with the wrestling aspect of their matches. But when the toys come out, you’d better watch the hell out. Kendo stick shots form the biggest welts on the Wyatt Family’s skin. Metal garbage cans flatten and twist as they bounce off the zombie rednecks’ skulls. Braun Strowman was the only one who could contain this extreme riot. He went around clubbing and clothes lining the ECW originals until his Wyatt Family had the edge once again.
It was only a few minutes into the match and it already looked like it had TV-MA potential. But it didn’t take long for this match to earn is mixed grade. There were a few spots in this match that looked a little botchy to me. Bubba-Ray Dudley was supposed to use a metal garbage can to block a haymaker from Braun Strowman. Bubba put up his guard too soon…and Braun punched the defensive shield anyways. Not long afterwards, you had Erick Rowan attempting a running kick on one of the ECW guys only to put his foot through a table (which for some odd reason didn’t count as an elimination). Erick Rowan had D-Von Dudley spread eagle across another table and was perched on the top turnbuckle only to be shoved off by Rhyno. Rowan broke the table, but only the edge of it and D-Von had supposedly rolled off in time, though it still looked sketchy to me who was at fault for this botch.
The WWE fans are rarely happy with the choreography of a non-Daniel Bryan match (I swear, that guy has spoiled the audience rotten). This time, I can empathize with their unhappiness. Just this time. But hey, the action picked up again when both Dudley brothers slammed Erick Rowan through a table. Once he was gone, there were more kendo stick shots, more beatings, more chair shots, and then the ECW guys were being slammed through tables until Bubba-Ray Dudley was the last one remaining on his team. Before that scenario took place, Bubba did a spot where he was supposed to do a cross body block on Braun Strowman. Those two took a while to get positioned and when it finally happened, Braun stumbled backwards and fell as if it wasn’t meant to happen.
Never fear, original ECW fans. Just when the crowd was about to die, Bubba-Ray Dudley set up another table in the ring, but also brought out some lighter fluid and a cigarette lighter. He squirted a very liberal amount of fluid on that wooden table and stunk up the entire arena with chemicals. All that was left was to light it on fire and power bomb Bray Wyatt’s fat ass through the hardcore toy. But that never happened. It probably couldn’t under a TV-PG setting. Luke Harper super kicked Bubba-Ray under the chin while Braun Strowman heaved the ECW warrior in the air before slamming him through the table, thus ensuring the match-ending elimination and a victory for the Wyatt Family.
All in all, it was an enjoyable match to watch, especially since I have a lot of nostalgic feelings for the old ECW promotion. But let’s face it: the match at TLC earned its mixed rating. You could blame the hard-to-impress fans, you could blame the botchy spots, you could blame the false advertising when it came to the would-be flaming table, but there’s one other thing that stuck out in my mind. Elimination matches are tricky bitches as far as putting the winning team over is concerned. The Wyatt Family lost only one member of their team during that match: Erick Rowan. Losing three members would make the Wyatts survivors. Losing two members would also make them survivors. Losing zero members would make them dominant and scary like they’ve always been. But losing Erick Rowan exclusively made me believe that he’s being singled out as a weak link of that stable. I know it’s not true since he’s every bit as powerful and intimidating as the rest of his clan. All I’m saying is that one elimination looks suspiciously like a weak link plot. I’m interested to see where the WWE creative team goes with this. I hope they don’t go anywhere with it and just have Erick Rowan be treated as an equal.
PROMOTION: World Wrestling Entertainment
EVENT: TLC: Tables, Ladders, and Chairs
YEAR: 2015
RATING: TV-PG for violence
GRADE: Mixed
All throughout the 1990’s, Extreme Championship Wrestling defined the spirit of hardcore wrestling. Power bombs through flaming wooden tables, Irish whips into skin-shredding razor wire, repeated kendo stick shots until the opponent bled buckets, high flying dives off of the tallest structures, broken bones, insane fan participation, and saying “Thank you, sir, may I have another?!” the next day. If you wrestled for ECW, you couldn’t just be a moderately good athlete. You had to be tough as nails, nasty as hell, and maybe even godlike at times. The pain you will suffer, the scars you will obtain, the blood you will spill will all be in the name of legitimizing professional wrestling. ECW has since closed its doors permanently in 2001, but Bubba-Ray Dudley, D-Von Dudley, Tommy Dreamer, and Rhyno are invoking the spirit for this confrontation at TLC.
Good luck, boys, because The Wyatt Family has dominated the WWE on a consistent basis for three whole years, temporary separation aside. All four of these stable members are giants among insects. In addition to towering over all of their opponents, their scraggly facial hair, ugly faces, sheep masks, and cultist mind games give them a psychological edge in their matches. Just imagine if Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper, Erick Rowan, and Braun Strowman came to your door to deliver a pizza. Could you in all good consciousness eat that pizza knowing four zombie rednecks with serial killer mindsets are the ones at your doorstep? You’d better give them a million dollar tip lest you be squashed and strangled to death by these behemoths of men.
It’s only right that four hardcore extremists and four monstrous hillbillies get together for a tables match, where the rules are simple: if a wrestler gets slammed through a wooden table, he must go back to the locker room and wait for the match to be over. The losing team is the one who has all of their members slammed through tables. There are no pin falls, no submissions, no count-outs, and no disqualifications. If you can dream it up in your sick and twisted imagination, you can do whatever the hell you want to your opponents in this kind of match. Hell, you might even get a way with bending the limits of a TV-PG environment.
As soon as both four-man teams made their entrances, they stared each other down and waited for that bell to ring. When it rang, nobody was safe. Punches, kicks, slams, head butts, elbows, these basic moves turned a wrestling match into a head-stomping, mosh-pitting riot. These wrestlers already do a good enough job with the wrestling aspect of their matches. But when the toys come out, you’d better watch the hell out. Kendo stick shots form the biggest welts on the Wyatt Family’s skin. Metal garbage cans flatten and twist as they bounce off the zombie rednecks’ skulls. Braun Strowman was the only one who could contain this extreme riot. He went around clubbing and clothes lining the ECW originals until his Wyatt Family had the edge once again.
It was only a few minutes into the match and it already looked like it had TV-MA potential. But it didn’t take long for this match to earn is mixed grade. There were a few spots in this match that looked a little botchy to me. Bubba-Ray Dudley was supposed to use a metal garbage can to block a haymaker from Braun Strowman. Bubba put up his guard too soon…and Braun punched the defensive shield anyways. Not long afterwards, you had Erick Rowan attempting a running kick on one of the ECW guys only to put his foot through a table (which for some odd reason didn’t count as an elimination). Erick Rowan had D-Von Dudley spread eagle across another table and was perched on the top turnbuckle only to be shoved off by Rhyno. Rowan broke the table, but only the edge of it and D-Von had supposedly rolled off in time, though it still looked sketchy to me who was at fault for this botch.
The WWE fans are rarely happy with the choreography of a non-Daniel Bryan match (I swear, that guy has spoiled the audience rotten). This time, I can empathize with their unhappiness. Just this time. But hey, the action picked up again when both Dudley brothers slammed Erick Rowan through a table. Once he was gone, there were more kendo stick shots, more beatings, more chair shots, and then the ECW guys were being slammed through tables until Bubba-Ray Dudley was the last one remaining on his team. Before that scenario took place, Bubba did a spot where he was supposed to do a cross body block on Braun Strowman. Those two took a while to get positioned and when it finally happened, Braun stumbled backwards and fell as if it wasn’t meant to happen.
Never fear, original ECW fans. Just when the crowd was about to die, Bubba-Ray Dudley set up another table in the ring, but also brought out some lighter fluid and a cigarette lighter. He squirted a very liberal amount of fluid on that wooden table and stunk up the entire arena with chemicals. All that was left was to light it on fire and power bomb Bray Wyatt’s fat ass through the hardcore toy. But that never happened. It probably couldn’t under a TV-PG setting. Luke Harper super kicked Bubba-Ray under the chin while Braun Strowman heaved the ECW warrior in the air before slamming him through the table, thus ensuring the match-ending elimination and a victory for the Wyatt Family.
All in all, it was an enjoyable match to watch, especially since I have a lot of nostalgic feelings for the old ECW promotion. But let’s face it: the match at TLC earned its mixed rating. You could blame the hard-to-impress fans, you could blame the botchy spots, you could blame the false advertising when it came to the would-be flaming table, but there’s one other thing that stuck out in my mind. Elimination matches are tricky bitches as far as putting the winning team over is concerned. The Wyatt Family lost only one member of their team during that match: Erick Rowan. Losing three members would make the Wyatts survivors. Losing two members would also make them survivors. Losing zero members would make them dominant and scary like they’ve always been. But losing Erick Rowan exclusively made me believe that he’s being singled out as a weak link of that stable. I know it’s not true since he’s every bit as powerful and intimidating as the rest of his clan. All I’m saying is that one elimination looks suspiciously like a weak link plot. I’m interested to see where the WWE creative team goes with this. I hope they don’t go anywhere with it and just have Erick Rowan be treated as an equal.
Monday, November 23, 2015
WWE Survivor Series: Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose
MATCH: Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose for the vacated WWE World Heavyweight Championship
PROMOTION: World Wrestling Entertainment
EVENT: Survivor Series
YEAR: 2015
RATING: TV-PG for violence
GRADE: Pass
When Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose burst onto the scene in WWE, they were aligned with Seth Rollins as part of the most dominant trio the promotion has ever seen, The Shield. As members of this powerful alliance, Reigns and Rollins went on to become Tag Team of the Year and WWE Tag Team Champions while Dean Ambrose became the United States Champion. Every three-man team assembled to go against The Shield was destroyed and defeated with no absence of malice from The Wyatt Family to Team Hell No & Randy Orton to Evolution.
Just when The Shield was on top of the world, Seth Rollins got greedy and laid out Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns with chair shots as a way of accepting Triple H’s offer to join The Authority. Ever since stabbing his brothers in the back, Seth went on to become Mr. Money in the Bank and would eventually cash in the contract at Wrestlemania 31 to become WWE World Heavyweight Champion for the first time in his career. He also defeated John Cena at Summer Slam to become United States Champion in addition to being World Champion.
Despite having Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose (who were still best friends despite the end of The Shield) breathing down his neck, Seth Rollins would have gone on to hold the WWE World Heavyweight Championship forever if he hadn’t been for a debilitating knee injury he suffered during a live show in Ireland. Rollins would be forced to vacate the championship, undergo surgery, and rehabilitate for six to nine months.
In order to determine a new WWE Champion, Triple H put together a 16-man tournament which would culminate at the 2015 Survivor Series pay-per-view. In order to get to the finals, Dean Ambrose had to defeat NXT upstart Tyler Breeze, former World Champion Dolph Ziggler, and reigning Intercontinental Champion Kevin Owens. Roman Reigns’ road to the finals wasn’t any less challenging since he had to beat “The World’s Largest Athlete” The Big Show, “The Swiss Superman” Cesaro, and the reigning United States Champion Alberto Del Rio.
Up until Survivor Series, Ambrose and Reigns had each other’s backs throughout their various rivalries. When that opening bell rung, friendship and brotherhood went out the window. The two ring warriors went through too many screw jobs and too many beatings to just let each other have the WWE World Title handed to them. They were going to fight and they were going to brutalize each other in the process.
The instant the bell rang, Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose rushed to the center of the ring and started throwing rapid-fire punches to the face to dictate the match’s pace as being gunshot-fast. Dean Ambrose would perform multiple dives through the ropes and sacrifice his own health just to flatten Reigns. Reigns threw many Superman Punches and jacked the jaw of his best friend. They threw each other against the ring apron, audience barricade, and announce tables. They clotheslined, body slammed, suplexed, and even hit each other with their respective finishing moves, Roman Reigns using the Spear Tackle and Dean Ambrose using Dirty Deeds (double arm underhook DDT).
These two fighters beat each other so badly that they could do nothing but sit next to each other in frustration in order to figure out their next moves. They sat there pie-facing each other. Then they punched each other in the face. They got up and punched each other some more. Then they kicked each other. And then more hard-hitting haymakers and clotheslines were in the works. And then they were bouncing each other’s bodies off the canvass like hand grenades ready to explode from mind-blowing pain. Somewhere in this shuffle of fast-paced brawling, Roman Reigns found himself leaning against the turnbuckles with Dean Ambrose charging for him like a raging lunatic bull.
How did Roman Reigns respond? With a second (or third) Spear Tackle and a 1-2-3 pinning combination. The leader of the Roman Empire had finally done it after three years of WWE’s most hard-hitting challenges. Hernia surgeries, bruises, blood drops, broken bones, mind games, and fan hatred all tried to keep him down at the bottom of the grave. And then he rose to the surface and conquered the mountain for the first time in his career. Roman Reigns was so exhausted from his match with Dean Ambrose that he had the equilibrium of a drunkard.
This celebration was going to last forever in time: confetti, cheers, boos, and shaking hands with Dean Ambrose, that was what the top of the WWE mountain felt like for Roman Reigns. And then once Ambrose left, Sheamus appeared with his Money in the Bank briefcase and played the role of spoiler. A Money in the Bank contract guarantees the holder a WWE Championship match ANY time he wants one, even after a grueling match with The Lunatic Fringe himself. Two bicycle kicks later, Sheamus wins his less-than-a-minute match with Roman Reigns and becomes the new champion, much to the delight of Authority leader Triple H. The only thing left on Roman’s body to break and bruise was his heart and now it’s in a million pieces.
The buildup to this match was months in the making, Rollins’ injury aside. The eagerness tensed up within the fans to see this kick-ass match and it finally happened. The match itself was exciting, fast-paced, hard-hitting, and between two badass wrestlers who personify toughness and brutality. The fans adore Dean Ambrose and hate Roman Reigns, the latter of which I can’t understand since he’s an awesome performer despite his lack of experience. There were no losers in this deadly brawl. There were no winners either, only survivors and shattered soldiers.
The one aspect of this match I could have done without was Sheamus’ cowardly cash-in. Yes, I know cashing in Money in the Bank is something even my favorite wrestlers like Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, and Seth Rollins have done, but even so, this pay-per-view victory was supposed to be Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose’s moment to shine. It was supposed to shatter the glass ceiling and make it snow all over the Phillips Arena in Atlanta, Georgia. Sheamus, who held multiple World Titles in the past already, shit all over our hopes and dreams much like Randy Orton did in 2013 when he cashed in on a vulnerable Daniel Bryan. If it wasn’t for the fight being so damned entertaining and the buildup being so exciting, this match would have a received a mixed grade at best. But let the record books show that despite only holding it for a few minutes, Roman Reigns is a one-time WWE World Heavyweight Champion, a title he earned through three years of boots, blood, and barbarism.
PROMOTION: World Wrestling Entertainment
EVENT: Survivor Series
YEAR: 2015
RATING: TV-PG for violence
GRADE: Pass
When Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose burst onto the scene in WWE, they were aligned with Seth Rollins as part of the most dominant trio the promotion has ever seen, The Shield. As members of this powerful alliance, Reigns and Rollins went on to become Tag Team of the Year and WWE Tag Team Champions while Dean Ambrose became the United States Champion. Every three-man team assembled to go against The Shield was destroyed and defeated with no absence of malice from The Wyatt Family to Team Hell No & Randy Orton to Evolution.
Just when The Shield was on top of the world, Seth Rollins got greedy and laid out Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns with chair shots as a way of accepting Triple H’s offer to join The Authority. Ever since stabbing his brothers in the back, Seth went on to become Mr. Money in the Bank and would eventually cash in the contract at Wrestlemania 31 to become WWE World Heavyweight Champion for the first time in his career. He also defeated John Cena at Summer Slam to become United States Champion in addition to being World Champion.
Despite having Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose (who were still best friends despite the end of The Shield) breathing down his neck, Seth Rollins would have gone on to hold the WWE World Heavyweight Championship forever if he hadn’t been for a debilitating knee injury he suffered during a live show in Ireland. Rollins would be forced to vacate the championship, undergo surgery, and rehabilitate for six to nine months.
In order to determine a new WWE Champion, Triple H put together a 16-man tournament which would culminate at the 2015 Survivor Series pay-per-view. In order to get to the finals, Dean Ambrose had to defeat NXT upstart Tyler Breeze, former World Champion Dolph Ziggler, and reigning Intercontinental Champion Kevin Owens. Roman Reigns’ road to the finals wasn’t any less challenging since he had to beat “The World’s Largest Athlete” The Big Show, “The Swiss Superman” Cesaro, and the reigning United States Champion Alberto Del Rio.
Up until Survivor Series, Ambrose and Reigns had each other’s backs throughout their various rivalries. When that opening bell rung, friendship and brotherhood went out the window. The two ring warriors went through too many screw jobs and too many beatings to just let each other have the WWE World Title handed to them. They were going to fight and they were going to brutalize each other in the process.
The instant the bell rang, Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose rushed to the center of the ring and started throwing rapid-fire punches to the face to dictate the match’s pace as being gunshot-fast. Dean Ambrose would perform multiple dives through the ropes and sacrifice his own health just to flatten Reigns. Reigns threw many Superman Punches and jacked the jaw of his best friend. They threw each other against the ring apron, audience barricade, and announce tables. They clotheslined, body slammed, suplexed, and even hit each other with their respective finishing moves, Roman Reigns using the Spear Tackle and Dean Ambrose using Dirty Deeds (double arm underhook DDT).
These two fighters beat each other so badly that they could do nothing but sit next to each other in frustration in order to figure out their next moves. They sat there pie-facing each other. Then they punched each other in the face. They got up and punched each other some more. Then they kicked each other. And then more hard-hitting haymakers and clotheslines were in the works. And then they were bouncing each other’s bodies off the canvass like hand grenades ready to explode from mind-blowing pain. Somewhere in this shuffle of fast-paced brawling, Roman Reigns found himself leaning against the turnbuckles with Dean Ambrose charging for him like a raging lunatic bull.
How did Roman Reigns respond? With a second (or third) Spear Tackle and a 1-2-3 pinning combination. The leader of the Roman Empire had finally done it after three years of WWE’s most hard-hitting challenges. Hernia surgeries, bruises, blood drops, broken bones, mind games, and fan hatred all tried to keep him down at the bottom of the grave. And then he rose to the surface and conquered the mountain for the first time in his career. Roman Reigns was so exhausted from his match with Dean Ambrose that he had the equilibrium of a drunkard.
This celebration was going to last forever in time: confetti, cheers, boos, and shaking hands with Dean Ambrose, that was what the top of the WWE mountain felt like for Roman Reigns. And then once Ambrose left, Sheamus appeared with his Money in the Bank briefcase and played the role of spoiler. A Money in the Bank contract guarantees the holder a WWE Championship match ANY time he wants one, even after a grueling match with The Lunatic Fringe himself. Two bicycle kicks later, Sheamus wins his less-than-a-minute match with Roman Reigns and becomes the new champion, much to the delight of Authority leader Triple H. The only thing left on Roman’s body to break and bruise was his heart and now it’s in a million pieces.
The buildup to this match was months in the making, Rollins’ injury aside. The eagerness tensed up within the fans to see this kick-ass match and it finally happened. The match itself was exciting, fast-paced, hard-hitting, and between two badass wrestlers who personify toughness and brutality. The fans adore Dean Ambrose and hate Roman Reigns, the latter of which I can’t understand since he’s an awesome performer despite his lack of experience. There were no losers in this deadly brawl. There were no winners either, only survivors and shattered soldiers.
The one aspect of this match I could have done without was Sheamus’ cowardly cash-in. Yes, I know cashing in Money in the Bank is something even my favorite wrestlers like Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, and Seth Rollins have done, but even so, this pay-per-view victory was supposed to be Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose’s moment to shine. It was supposed to shatter the glass ceiling and make it snow all over the Phillips Arena in Atlanta, Georgia. Sheamus, who held multiple World Titles in the past already, shit all over our hopes and dreams much like Randy Orton did in 2013 when he cashed in on a vulnerable Daniel Bryan. If it wasn’t for the fight being so damned entertaining and the buildup being so exciting, this match would have a received a mixed grade at best. But let the record books show that despite only holding it for a few minutes, Roman Reigns is a one-time WWE World Heavyweight Champion, a title he earned through three years of boots, blood, and barbarism.
Thursday, November 5, 2015
"Love Me Today, Kill Me Tomorrow" by Marie Krepps
BOOK TITLE: Love Me Today, Kill Me Tomorrow
AUTHOR: Marie Krepps
YEAR: 2015
GENRE: Fiction
SUBGENRE: Vampire Erotica
GRADE: Extra Credit
Alexus suffers from acute depression after living a life full of abuse and heartache. Her father and her older brothers Thomas and Brian were the worst offenders when it came to Alexus’ abuse. They tried to control every aspect of her life, tried to make her conform and fall in line. And now she wants to kill herself. She doesn’t know how until she meets a vampire named Artus who could easily bite her neck and drain her dry. Things take a much different direction when Artus can’t bring himself to kill Alexus. Instead, the two of them make love together and become that much closer to becoming a couple.
If you’re familiar with Ms. Krepps’ works, you know how much of a master she is at creating sex scenes. These scenes aren’t a bunch of bullshit from porn magazines or even Fifty Shades of Grey. These are real, love-making, penis-hardening, and vagina-wetting sex scenes. It’s more than just being on top and getting it over with. The variation in sexual acts keeps the love-making fresh in the mind of the reader. These two vampires can make every reader’s fantasies come to life with just their lust for each other. With that said, you might want to keep a box of tissues next to your e-reader for this one. You never know when Mt. St. Helen might erupt or how much of a mess it’ll create when it does.
The vampire logic is another thing Marie Krepps is passionate about. Every last detail having to do with vampires is planned out and well-researched. Everybody knows that vampires burn when they’re exposed to sunlight. But did you know that a vampire’s bite can actually feel like heaven despite the sharp fangs? It can also feel like you’re getting your body turned inside out if you piss off said vampire. And if you think you’re going to get in a slugfest with a vampire and live to tell about it, you’re bat shit crazy. Bottom line: even though this is a vampire story, everything in this book is believable. You actually want to get behind these characters because the author is holding a mirror up to society in the guise of fiction.
But then you have the primary reason why this book earned an Extra Credit (five-star) rating. At the beginning of the book, Marie Krepps dedicates the novel to everybody who has suffered from a mental illness. The struggles that Alexus faces as a depression victim are very real and make the story sound somewhat autobiographical. I know this because I’ve had my fair share of shitty people in my life and they all brought me into a darkened state in one way or another. Nobody takes as much abuse as Alexus has and comes out smelling like roses. Suicide is not selfish by any means. It’s what the mentally ill consider when they see no other solution to their demons. But when you finally see that glimmer of hope, suicide will seem irrational at that point. Let us all come together and be each other’s glimmer of hope. The world will be a better place for it.
Reading Marie Krepps’ writing gives me a newfound respect for her with every passing piece of literature. She shows new wrinkles to her game and is easily coached when it comes to taking advice from other writers. My friendship with her isn’t the biggest reason why she gets five stars. Her writing was what earned her the respect she so deserves. In spite of having a day job, four daughters, a husband, cats, and a mind full of demons, she actually finds time to write such beautiful stories and poems. The next time someone cracks a joke about millennials being lazy, be sure to give that person a kick in the groin. Marie Krepps is far from lazy. She’s the hardest worker in the writing business today.
AUTHOR: Marie Krepps
YEAR: 2015
GENRE: Fiction
SUBGENRE: Vampire Erotica
GRADE: Extra Credit
Alexus suffers from acute depression after living a life full of abuse and heartache. Her father and her older brothers Thomas and Brian were the worst offenders when it came to Alexus’ abuse. They tried to control every aspect of her life, tried to make her conform and fall in line. And now she wants to kill herself. She doesn’t know how until she meets a vampire named Artus who could easily bite her neck and drain her dry. Things take a much different direction when Artus can’t bring himself to kill Alexus. Instead, the two of them make love together and become that much closer to becoming a couple.
If you’re familiar with Ms. Krepps’ works, you know how much of a master she is at creating sex scenes. These scenes aren’t a bunch of bullshit from porn magazines or even Fifty Shades of Grey. These are real, love-making, penis-hardening, and vagina-wetting sex scenes. It’s more than just being on top and getting it over with. The variation in sexual acts keeps the love-making fresh in the mind of the reader. These two vampires can make every reader’s fantasies come to life with just their lust for each other. With that said, you might want to keep a box of tissues next to your e-reader for this one. You never know when Mt. St. Helen might erupt or how much of a mess it’ll create when it does.
The vampire logic is another thing Marie Krepps is passionate about. Every last detail having to do with vampires is planned out and well-researched. Everybody knows that vampires burn when they’re exposed to sunlight. But did you know that a vampire’s bite can actually feel like heaven despite the sharp fangs? It can also feel like you’re getting your body turned inside out if you piss off said vampire. And if you think you’re going to get in a slugfest with a vampire and live to tell about it, you’re bat shit crazy. Bottom line: even though this is a vampire story, everything in this book is believable. You actually want to get behind these characters because the author is holding a mirror up to society in the guise of fiction.
But then you have the primary reason why this book earned an Extra Credit (five-star) rating. At the beginning of the book, Marie Krepps dedicates the novel to everybody who has suffered from a mental illness. The struggles that Alexus faces as a depression victim are very real and make the story sound somewhat autobiographical. I know this because I’ve had my fair share of shitty people in my life and they all brought me into a darkened state in one way or another. Nobody takes as much abuse as Alexus has and comes out smelling like roses. Suicide is not selfish by any means. It’s what the mentally ill consider when they see no other solution to their demons. But when you finally see that glimmer of hope, suicide will seem irrational at that point. Let us all come together and be each other’s glimmer of hope. The world will be a better place for it.
Reading Marie Krepps’ writing gives me a newfound respect for her with every passing piece of literature. She shows new wrinkles to her game and is easily coached when it comes to taking advice from other writers. My friendship with her isn’t the biggest reason why she gets five stars. Her writing was what earned her the respect she so deserves. In spite of having a day job, four daughters, a husband, cats, and a mind full of demons, she actually finds time to write such beautiful stories and poems. The next time someone cracks a joke about millennials being lazy, be sure to give that person a kick in the groin. Marie Krepps is far from lazy. She’s the hardest worker in the writing business today.
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
"The Girlfriend Wager" by Edward Davies
BOOK TITLE: The Girlfriend Wager
AUTHOR: Edward Davies
YEAR: 2015
GENRE: Fiction
SUBGENRE: Sex Drama-Comedy
GRADE: Pass
In 1990’s England, five college buddies, Rob, Kent, Adrian, Jim, and Hugh, get together in a bar one night and make a wager with each other. Whoever could keep a relationship with a girl for at least three months while having sex at least once would have the rest of the group pay for his drinks after the college year was over. Girl shyness, awkward behavior, previous lovers, and many other strange obstacles get in the way of determining a true victor. Hearts are broken, embarrassments happen, and the only escape for these five friends is a giant glass of cold beer. Is anybody really a winner in this story or are these five virgins just a group of sad sops?
I’m going to start with the biggest reason why this e-book gets a passing grade. The concepts of girl shyness, social awkwardness, virginity, and fear of rejection all resonate with me on a deep level. Yes, this is intended to be funny in some places, but that doesn’t stop the book from speaking the truth from time to time. When I went to high school and college, I was one of the wallflowers who stayed in the background while being protected from the emotional despair of romance. Everyone was always saying to me, “Just ask her out! It’s no big deal! If she says no, just move on to the next one!” If love was that easy, I’d have a whole harem of girls coming after me. But as I’ve found out both from my own experiences with dating and from reading this book, it’s complicated on so many levels. I want to love and be loved, but getting my foot in the door is harder for me than it is for the five friends, and that’s saying something.
Before I get too far into a rant, I have to discuss the other reason why this book gets a passing grade: the pacing. While it is true the book is 400-plus pages long, it reads so quickly that you won’t feel bogged down by too much description. Besides, most of the descriptions come from 90’s pop culture references that I actually understand, so the pacing is even better. If you’re an author and comedy is your intended genre, you don’t want to spend too much time on funny descriptions. The jokes were delivered with such rapid-fire wit that I basically blitzed through the entire story with no potholes or traffic lights along the way. It helps that the witty aspects of this book come from the author using a lot of British vernacular like “fancy” and “bullocks”. I swear it’s like listening to a CD by The Streets, except funnier…for the most part.
There would have been a time when I considered giving this book an extra credit grade, or five stars for all of you Good Reads and Amazon junkies. However, there are certain unforgivable flaws that keep me from doing so. Try as he might to edit this story down to its last detail, Mr. Davies left behind a few glaring mistakes, such as Becca calling Hugh “Paul” and a sentence that reads “Kent glared at Kent”. But these are things Edward Davies could fix on the fly and not break too much of a sweat.
But then you have the pornographic aspects of the book which make the story seem slightly unrealistic. Yes, it’s realistic in the sense that shyness and awkwardness get in the way of a lot of good relationships. But when I say pornographic aspects, I’m talking about all of the women having large breasts, giant asses, and an easy way to get to know them. Plus, there’s a lot of talk about sticking things in their vaginas and squeezing their titties, which are also things you’d find in a cheap porn movie. Granted, this book is somewhat based on Edward Davies’ past at college and a lot of his friends really did talk like that. But even with that background realness, I’m not sure if I’m supposed to take the book seriously or jack off to it like a Playboy magazine.
I’m not going to bring the hammer down too hard on Edward, because all in all, this book earned all four of its stars. While it is true the two of us are good friends online, I’m giving him the passing grade out of respect for his book, not out of service to our friendship. I firmly believe Edward Davies has what it takes to launch his literature into the mainstream one day. He just needs to spend a little quality time with the realism and grammatical aspects of his manuscript before sending it out. Before I read “The Girlfriend Wager”, I delved into “Divine Intervention”, another book by Mr. Davies. I’d definitely say “The Girlfriend Wager” is a huge improvement from his last effort, so you’re damn right there’s hope for him. Hell, it might be a sure thing that he becomes successful!
AUTHOR: Edward Davies
YEAR: 2015
GENRE: Fiction
SUBGENRE: Sex Drama-Comedy
GRADE: Pass
In 1990’s England, five college buddies, Rob, Kent, Adrian, Jim, and Hugh, get together in a bar one night and make a wager with each other. Whoever could keep a relationship with a girl for at least three months while having sex at least once would have the rest of the group pay for his drinks after the college year was over. Girl shyness, awkward behavior, previous lovers, and many other strange obstacles get in the way of determining a true victor. Hearts are broken, embarrassments happen, and the only escape for these five friends is a giant glass of cold beer. Is anybody really a winner in this story or are these five virgins just a group of sad sops?
I’m going to start with the biggest reason why this e-book gets a passing grade. The concepts of girl shyness, social awkwardness, virginity, and fear of rejection all resonate with me on a deep level. Yes, this is intended to be funny in some places, but that doesn’t stop the book from speaking the truth from time to time. When I went to high school and college, I was one of the wallflowers who stayed in the background while being protected from the emotional despair of romance. Everyone was always saying to me, “Just ask her out! It’s no big deal! If she says no, just move on to the next one!” If love was that easy, I’d have a whole harem of girls coming after me. But as I’ve found out both from my own experiences with dating and from reading this book, it’s complicated on so many levels. I want to love and be loved, but getting my foot in the door is harder for me than it is for the five friends, and that’s saying something.
Before I get too far into a rant, I have to discuss the other reason why this book gets a passing grade: the pacing. While it is true the book is 400-plus pages long, it reads so quickly that you won’t feel bogged down by too much description. Besides, most of the descriptions come from 90’s pop culture references that I actually understand, so the pacing is even better. If you’re an author and comedy is your intended genre, you don’t want to spend too much time on funny descriptions. The jokes were delivered with such rapid-fire wit that I basically blitzed through the entire story with no potholes or traffic lights along the way. It helps that the witty aspects of this book come from the author using a lot of British vernacular like “fancy” and “bullocks”. I swear it’s like listening to a CD by The Streets, except funnier…for the most part.
There would have been a time when I considered giving this book an extra credit grade, or five stars for all of you Good Reads and Amazon junkies. However, there are certain unforgivable flaws that keep me from doing so. Try as he might to edit this story down to its last detail, Mr. Davies left behind a few glaring mistakes, such as Becca calling Hugh “Paul” and a sentence that reads “Kent glared at Kent”. But these are things Edward Davies could fix on the fly and not break too much of a sweat.
But then you have the pornographic aspects of the book which make the story seem slightly unrealistic. Yes, it’s realistic in the sense that shyness and awkwardness get in the way of a lot of good relationships. But when I say pornographic aspects, I’m talking about all of the women having large breasts, giant asses, and an easy way to get to know them. Plus, there’s a lot of talk about sticking things in their vaginas and squeezing their titties, which are also things you’d find in a cheap porn movie. Granted, this book is somewhat based on Edward Davies’ past at college and a lot of his friends really did talk like that. But even with that background realness, I’m not sure if I’m supposed to take the book seriously or jack off to it like a Playboy magazine.
I’m not going to bring the hammer down too hard on Edward, because all in all, this book earned all four of its stars. While it is true the two of us are good friends online, I’m giving him the passing grade out of respect for his book, not out of service to our friendship. I firmly believe Edward Davies has what it takes to launch his literature into the mainstream one day. He just needs to spend a little quality time with the realism and grammatical aspects of his manuscript before sending it out. Before I read “The Girlfriend Wager”, I delved into “Divine Intervention”, another book by Mr. Davies. I’d definitely say “The Girlfriend Wager” is a huge improvement from his last effort, so you’re damn right there’s hope for him. Hell, it might be a sure thing that he becomes successful!
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
WWE NXT: Eva Marie vs. Carmella
MATCH: Eva Marie vs. Carmella
PROMOTION: World Wrestling Entertainment
EVENT: Episode of NXT
YEAR: 2015
RATING: TV-PG for violence
GRADE: Did Not Finish
Being negative is not one of my strong suits. There was a time when I was young and immature and negativity came naturally to me. These days whenever I give a bad review, a little piece of me on the inside dies a brutal death. With that being said, if I don’t do this review, I feel like it will be a missed opportunity to tell it like it is. This needs to be said even though it’s already being said by tons of people. Hell, the NXT audience at Full Sail University in Florida are vocal every time Eva Marie steps through the gorilla position; they boo her relentlessly.
Carmella, on the other hand, I have no problem with. Yes, she used to be rough around the edges when it came to wrestling. Yes, her theme music gives me migraines. But the difference between Carmella and Eva Marie is that the former is capable of improving her game. Carmella used to get as many boos as her opponent, but after hanging around with Enzo Amore and Colin Cassady for long enough and standing up for her boys, those boos eventually turned to cheers. Maybe it has something to do with her funky dance moves. She can moonwalk, for Christ’s sake. Moonwalk!
Eva Marie doesn’t deserve the same praise as the other divas for her wrestling abilities. In fact, watching her wrestle is as awkward as my schizophrenic behavior in the grocery store line. I understand that she wants to get better and has even recruited the help of wrestling veteran and former WWE Tag Team Champion Brian Kendrick to train her. This isn’t a knock against Brian Kendrick, but when I watched Eva Marie on that episode of NXT battling Carmella, I didn’t see improvement. I saw drunken choreography without the breathalyzer test.
Here’s how the match went down. Carmella and Eva Marie got in several collar elbow tie ups and the latter had the former pinned against the corner for a series of unconvincing elbows to the face. Eva Marie’s strikes looked more like massage therapy than combat. So what does Carmella do? She throws that Jessica Rabbit clone through the ropes and lets her crash and burn on the steel ramp. And then Carmella did a little spinning dance and the moonwalk to excite the crowd. Eva Marie eventually got back in the ring and gave her opponent a series of weird-looking vertical suplexes. There were even times when Eva was setting up the move and it looked like she was having a tough time deciding which wrestling move to do.
Before my IQ dropped any further, I grabbed my Roku remote and fast forwarded through that match. I never figured out who won, nor did I care. If watching this match doesn’t make your brain hurt, listen to this. Eva Marie has actually been picking up wins since debuting in NXT, presumably to be pushed into contention for the NXT Women’s Championship, which is currently held by Bayley, a true wrestler in every sense of the word. Really, NXT? You’re the hottest thing going on in wrestling today and you want to push Eva Marie into the main event? You’re right. Eva Marie is red hot. Her matches burn my eyes!
If there is a God in heaven, then He will do the right thing and inspire the readership of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter to show Eva Marie no mercy in the award votes. She’s definitely qualified for Most Overrated, Worst Worked Match of the Year, and even Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic for botching the ending to an NXT match she had against Billie Kay. Either that or she’ll win the latter award just for being pushed. Bob Backlund, Jose Gonzalez, and Eric Watts are all wrestling legends who were given the Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic award just for being the recipient of a main event push. However, if WWE continues to insult their fans for buying pay-per-views instead of subscribing to the WWE Network, Eva Marie might get a reprieve from the MDPT award.
I need a shower. A long, boiling hot shower with easy access to my Head and Shoulders shampoo and my Axe Phoenix body wash. Writing this review didn’t feel good. Then again, negativity is never therapeutic no matter which channel it comes out of.
PROMOTION: World Wrestling Entertainment
EVENT: Episode of NXT
YEAR: 2015
RATING: TV-PG for violence
GRADE: Did Not Finish
Being negative is not one of my strong suits. There was a time when I was young and immature and negativity came naturally to me. These days whenever I give a bad review, a little piece of me on the inside dies a brutal death. With that being said, if I don’t do this review, I feel like it will be a missed opportunity to tell it like it is. This needs to be said even though it’s already being said by tons of people. Hell, the NXT audience at Full Sail University in Florida are vocal every time Eva Marie steps through the gorilla position; they boo her relentlessly.
Carmella, on the other hand, I have no problem with. Yes, she used to be rough around the edges when it came to wrestling. Yes, her theme music gives me migraines. But the difference between Carmella and Eva Marie is that the former is capable of improving her game. Carmella used to get as many boos as her opponent, but after hanging around with Enzo Amore and Colin Cassady for long enough and standing up for her boys, those boos eventually turned to cheers. Maybe it has something to do with her funky dance moves. She can moonwalk, for Christ’s sake. Moonwalk!
Eva Marie doesn’t deserve the same praise as the other divas for her wrestling abilities. In fact, watching her wrestle is as awkward as my schizophrenic behavior in the grocery store line. I understand that she wants to get better and has even recruited the help of wrestling veteran and former WWE Tag Team Champion Brian Kendrick to train her. This isn’t a knock against Brian Kendrick, but when I watched Eva Marie on that episode of NXT battling Carmella, I didn’t see improvement. I saw drunken choreography without the breathalyzer test.
Here’s how the match went down. Carmella and Eva Marie got in several collar elbow tie ups and the latter had the former pinned against the corner for a series of unconvincing elbows to the face. Eva Marie’s strikes looked more like massage therapy than combat. So what does Carmella do? She throws that Jessica Rabbit clone through the ropes and lets her crash and burn on the steel ramp. And then Carmella did a little spinning dance and the moonwalk to excite the crowd. Eva Marie eventually got back in the ring and gave her opponent a series of weird-looking vertical suplexes. There were even times when Eva was setting up the move and it looked like she was having a tough time deciding which wrestling move to do.
Before my IQ dropped any further, I grabbed my Roku remote and fast forwarded through that match. I never figured out who won, nor did I care. If watching this match doesn’t make your brain hurt, listen to this. Eva Marie has actually been picking up wins since debuting in NXT, presumably to be pushed into contention for the NXT Women’s Championship, which is currently held by Bayley, a true wrestler in every sense of the word. Really, NXT? You’re the hottest thing going on in wrestling today and you want to push Eva Marie into the main event? You’re right. Eva Marie is red hot. Her matches burn my eyes!
If there is a God in heaven, then He will do the right thing and inspire the readership of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter to show Eva Marie no mercy in the award votes. She’s definitely qualified for Most Overrated, Worst Worked Match of the Year, and even Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic for botching the ending to an NXT match she had against Billie Kay. Either that or she’ll win the latter award just for being pushed. Bob Backlund, Jose Gonzalez, and Eric Watts are all wrestling legends who were given the Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic award just for being the recipient of a main event push. However, if WWE continues to insult their fans for buying pay-per-views instead of subscribing to the WWE Network, Eva Marie might get a reprieve from the MDPT award.
I need a shower. A long, boiling hot shower with easy access to my Head and Shoulders shampoo and my Axe Phoenix body wash. Writing this review didn’t feel good. Then again, negativity is never therapeutic no matter which channel it comes out of.
Sunday, September 20, 2015
WWE Night of Champions: Charlotte vs. Nikki Bella
MATCH: Charlotte vs. Nikki Bella for the latter’s Divas Championship, which she could have lost also by disqualification or count-out
PROMOTION: World Wrestling Entertainment
EVENT: Night of Champions
YEAR: 2015
RATING: TV-PG for violence
GRADE: Pass
For the longest time, the divas division of the WWE has been in murky waters. It has been plagued with short matches performed by smoking hot supermodels who fight more like cats than real wrestlers. If a WWE fan wanted to watch women’s wrestling that was actually entertaining, he or she had to get a subscription to the WWE Network and watch NXT. That all changed in a heartbeat one night. Almost a full year had passed since Nikki Bella won the Divas Championship against AJ Lee at Survivor Series in 2014 in a twenty-second disaster. Nikki, her twin sister Brie, and Alicia Fox all got together and danced in the middle of the ring thinking they had complete reign over the divas division.
And then Stephanie McMahon’s “Queendom” music played and out came the iron-fisted queen of WWE herself. She cut a promo about how female athletes all around the world were getting recognition for being just as good or even better than their male counterpart, whether it’s Ronda Rousey in the UFC or Carli Lloyd in soccer. Stephanie believed the WWE should be a part of that women’s revolution as well. So what did she do? She called three NXT divas up to the main roster: Charlotte, Becky Lynch, and Sasha Banks. Not just NXT divas, but badass battlers who could break a supermodel in half with just one punch.
And then the Divas Revolution was underway. The matches were longer, the women got better storylines, they got time in the ring to cut promos, and the matches were actually fun-to-watch wrestling competitions instead of just boring catfights. Despite this adrenaline shot to the heart of the divas division, there were still critics out there who thought pushing all of these women to the top was a waste of time. WWE Hall of Famer Greg “The Hammer” Valentine gave the most disgusting quote of the year when he said if he was in charge of the WWE, he would fire all of the divas and make them work in strip bars. I’m still waiting for Ronda Rousey to put this asshole in a shoulder lock and rip his goddamn arm out. If I have to wait forever, then damn it, I’ll wait forever.
At WWE Night of Champions in the year 2015, the critics would have duct tape on their mouths forever. Charlotte had just earned a chance to face Nikki Bella at this event for the latter’s Divas Championship. With her father Ric Flair and the NXT staff’s training, Charlotte could accomplish anything she wanted to. She was tall, lean, athletic, and she could beat the crap out of anybody put in front of her. She once out-wrestled Natalya for the vacant NXT Title. Natalya was trained in wrestling and jujitsu in the infamous Hart Dungeon, so getting a hard-fought victory over her in a classic back-and-forth war is saying something. Now Charlotte looks to do the same with Nikki Bella.
Before this match started, Nikki Bella was being written off by fans across the world as a supermodel with a middle school mentality who got an easy path to success by beating other girls just as “weak” as her. When the match actually started, she showed how much of a vicious wrestler she could be. Nikki’s entire game plan throughout the match was to not just attack Charlotte’s left leg, but also maul it, destroy it, and cripple it.
And damn, did Nikki deliver on that game plan. She suplexed Charlotte into the ropes and turnbuckles with the victim’s knee landing right on those hard structures. And while Charlotte was sitting on the ring apron hoping to recover, Nikki grabbed her injured leg and threw her to the concrete floor in a hard-hitting move known as the Dragon Screw. To add insult to injury, Nikki applied Ric Flair’s patented submission hold, the Figure Four Leg Lock, across the steel ring post with Charlotte’s legs bound and twisted in ways they’re not supposed to bend. And then the champion applied more pressure on the leg by twisting it backwards in a Single-Leg Boston Crab. And then more suplexes into the ropes and corners. And then a shoulder tackle to the back of the leg.
The relentless assault took a huge toll on Charlotte’s mobility. She was so badly in pain that she couldn’t even walk straight, let alone run off the ropes for a decent clothesline. My niece Reina watched this match with me and though she wasn’t in it, she still had aches and pains going through her own body while she was empathizing with Charlotte. If competing in this match cripples Charlotte, then the viewers at home and at the Houston, Texas arena would leave in wheelchairs. That’s how torturous this match looked on TV.
Which is why it’s so rewarding for the underdog Charlotte to come back from this endless pain and pull off a big move that will win her the Divas Championship. As Nikki dove off the top rope for another shoulder tackle, she got a spear tackle of her own right to the gut compliments of the challenger for her title. And then Charlotte did the unthinkable. Even with her severely battered left leg, she applied not only her father’s Figure Four Leg Lock to Nikki, but also bridged backwards to make it The Figure Eight. She held this position for as long as she painstakingly could and Nikki Bella eventually tapped out to lose the championship, ending her reign at 300-plus days.
Overcoming adversity is something women have had to do not just in sports, but in life in general. They had to take beatings just to earn the right to vote in America, they had to live as pariahs just to have the right to divorce their husbands, they’re being shot at for wanting feminine healthcare, and even today in this somewhat liberalized culture, women still have to fight for recognition in this world.
After seeing Charlotte win a hard-fought match for her first WWE Divas Championship in which the referee almost stopped it due to injury, I only have one thing left to say to Greg Valentine and everyone else who thinks that a woman’s place is in the kitchen. Would you really trust a red-hot warrior like Charlotte or Ronda Rousey with an iron skillet in one hand and a bread knife in the other? You want a woman to cook and clean for you? Okay. She can cook you with a flame thrower and clean the evidence of your existence off the floors so that the police don‘t suspect a thing. How does that sound?
PROMOTION: World Wrestling Entertainment
EVENT: Night of Champions
YEAR: 2015
RATING: TV-PG for violence
GRADE: Pass
For the longest time, the divas division of the WWE has been in murky waters. It has been plagued with short matches performed by smoking hot supermodels who fight more like cats than real wrestlers. If a WWE fan wanted to watch women’s wrestling that was actually entertaining, he or she had to get a subscription to the WWE Network and watch NXT. That all changed in a heartbeat one night. Almost a full year had passed since Nikki Bella won the Divas Championship against AJ Lee at Survivor Series in 2014 in a twenty-second disaster. Nikki, her twin sister Brie, and Alicia Fox all got together and danced in the middle of the ring thinking they had complete reign over the divas division.
And then Stephanie McMahon’s “Queendom” music played and out came the iron-fisted queen of WWE herself. She cut a promo about how female athletes all around the world were getting recognition for being just as good or even better than their male counterpart, whether it’s Ronda Rousey in the UFC or Carli Lloyd in soccer. Stephanie believed the WWE should be a part of that women’s revolution as well. So what did she do? She called three NXT divas up to the main roster: Charlotte, Becky Lynch, and Sasha Banks. Not just NXT divas, but badass battlers who could break a supermodel in half with just one punch.
And then the Divas Revolution was underway. The matches were longer, the women got better storylines, they got time in the ring to cut promos, and the matches were actually fun-to-watch wrestling competitions instead of just boring catfights. Despite this adrenaline shot to the heart of the divas division, there were still critics out there who thought pushing all of these women to the top was a waste of time. WWE Hall of Famer Greg “The Hammer” Valentine gave the most disgusting quote of the year when he said if he was in charge of the WWE, he would fire all of the divas and make them work in strip bars. I’m still waiting for Ronda Rousey to put this asshole in a shoulder lock and rip his goddamn arm out. If I have to wait forever, then damn it, I’ll wait forever.
At WWE Night of Champions in the year 2015, the critics would have duct tape on their mouths forever. Charlotte had just earned a chance to face Nikki Bella at this event for the latter’s Divas Championship. With her father Ric Flair and the NXT staff’s training, Charlotte could accomplish anything she wanted to. She was tall, lean, athletic, and she could beat the crap out of anybody put in front of her. She once out-wrestled Natalya for the vacant NXT Title. Natalya was trained in wrestling and jujitsu in the infamous Hart Dungeon, so getting a hard-fought victory over her in a classic back-and-forth war is saying something. Now Charlotte looks to do the same with Nikki Bella.
Before this match started, Nikki Bella was being written off by fans across the world as a supermodel with a middle school mentality who got an easy path to success by beating other girls just as “weak” as her. When the match actually started, she showed how much of a vicious wrestler she could be. Nikki’s entire game plan throughout the match was to not just attack Charlotte’s left leg, but also maul it, destroy it, and cripple it.
And damn, did Nikki deliver on that game plan. She suplexed Charlotte into the ropes and turnbuckles with the victim’s knee landing right on those hard structures. And while Charlotte was sitting on the ring apron hoping to recover, Nikki grabbed her injured leg and threw her to the concrete floor in a hard-hitting move known as the Dragon Screw. To add insult to injury, Nikki applied Ric Flair’s patented submission hold, the Figure Four Leg Lock, across the steel ring post with Charlotte’s legs bound and twisted in ways they’re not supposed to bend. And then the champion applied more pressure on the leg by twisting it backwards in a Single-Leg Boston Crab. And then more suplexes into the ropes and corners. And then a shoulder tackle to the back of the leg.
The relentless assault took a huge toll on Charlotte’s mobility. She was so badly in pain that she couldn’t even walk straight, let alone run off the ropes for a decent clothesline. My niece Reina watched this match with me and though she wasn’t in it, she still had aches and pains going through her own body while she was empathizing with Charlotte. If competing in this match cripples Charlotte, then the viewers at home and at the Houston, Texas arena would leave in wheelchairs. That’s how torturous this match looked on TV.
Which is why it’s so rewarding for the underdog Charlotte to come back from this endless pain and pull off a big move that will win her the Divas Championship. As Nikki dove off the top rope for another shoulder tackle, she got a spear tackle of her own right to the gut compliments of the challenger for her title. And then Charlotte did the unthinkable. Even with her severely battered left leg, she applied not only her father’s Figure Four Leg Lock to Nikki, but also bridged backwards to make it The Figure Eight. She held this position for as long as she painstakingly could and Nikki Bella eventually tapped out to lose the championship, ending her reign at 300-plus days.
Overcoming adversity is something women have had to do not just in sports, but in life in general. They had to take beatings just to earn the right to vote in America, they had to live as pariahs just to have the right to divorce their husbands, they’re being shot at for wanting feminine healthcare, and even today in this somewhat liberalized culture, women still have to fight for recognition in this world.
After seeing Charlotte win a hard-fought match for her first WWE Divas Championship in which the referee almost stopped it due to injury, I only have one thing left to say to Greg Valentine and everyone else who thinks that a woman’s place is in the kitchen. Would you really trust a red-hot warrior like Charlotte or Ronda Rousey with an iron skillet in one hand and a bread knife in the other? You want a woman to cook and clean for you? Okay. She can cook you with a flame thrower and clean the evidence of your existence off the floors so that the police don‘t suspect a thing. How does that sound?
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
"So...I Met a Vampire" by Paul McAvoy
BOOK TITLE: So…I Met a Vampire
AUTHOR: Paul McAvoy
YEAR: 2015
GENRE: Fiction
SUBGENRE: Creature Horror
GRADE: Fail
A young lady named Jessie James started off by going on a school field trip and ended up in the spirit world after dying in a drowning accident. And now in order to get a second chance at life, she must extract a vampire’s blood and bring it to the grim reaper within a limited time frame. Once the time limit is over, if she has not completed her task, she will be stuck in the spiritual realm forever. With the help of vampire expert Charles Devon, it appears as though a return to the mortal realm is at hand. But even with all the expertise in the world, this won’t be an easy task for someone as young and naïve as Jessie.
On the surface, this race-against-time plot seems like it could work in just about any scenario. We like the feeling of adrenaline rushes, especially when combined with supernatural elements. But it’s hard to be excited about the plot when the awkward writing style gets in the way of what would have otherwise been an enjoyable story. Unrealistic dialogue, obvious statements, a robotic narrator, and excessively short sentences are the best ways to describe the overall writing style Mr. McAvoy has employed with this novel. I know this book is geared toward a younger audience and younger readers aren’t as nitpicky as adults. But I can’t help but feel they too would be uncomfortable with the way this book is written.
The name of the main character also needs some analysis: Jessie James. The last time we heard about someone with this name, it was to describe a dangerous outlaw from wild west narratives. Ever since then, we’ve heard about other characters and celebrities with that name as well. We’ve heard about Sandra Bullock’s ex-boyfriend being named Jesse James as well as a female country singer with that name too. Hell, there was a WWE wrestler in the 1990’s named “Road Dogg” Jesse James. The name has been used so many times that it’s been beaten to death. The main protagonist of this story is just one more club to the dead horse’s body. Plus, it feels too obvious to name somebody that.
One more gripe about this story and then I’ll be finished with this review. The characters in this story seem too accepting towards supernatural elements. What’s that? A vampire? Meh. A ghost? Please. The grim reaper? Oh, that’s cool. These normally dangerous and imposing figures are just brushed off like nobody cares. In a dystopian society, this would be believable. But this just seems like an everyday modern community. Easily giving into supernatural phenomenon sounds too convenient, as if the author was trying to bypass the problem of having a protagonist whom nobody believes.
When Mr. McAvoy reads this review, I don’t want him to feel badly about what he’s produced. I want him to learn things and develop. That is my ultimate goal as a reviewer: to praise the author when necessary and hold him or her accountable when it matters most. This book may receive a failing grade (two stars) from little old me, but I assure you this is not Paul McAvoy’s last dance. The race-against-time plot is one that has a lot of truth to it. If it was better executed, then the complaints would be minimal. I hope Mr. McAvoy does learn something from this experience and I hope his next project will give him a chance to rise from the ashes like the phoenix he was meant to be.
AUTHOR: Paul McAvoy
YEAR: 2015
GENRE: Fiction
SUBGENRE: Creature Horror
GRADE: Fail
A young lady named Jessie James started off by going on a school field trip and ended up in the spirit world after dying in a drowning accident. And now in order to get a second chance at life, she must extract a vampire’s blood and bring it to the grim reaper within a limited time frame. Once the time limit is over, if she has not completed her task, she will be stuck in the spiritual realm forever. With the help of vampire expert Charles Devon, it appears as though a return to the mortal realm is at hand. But even with all the expertise in the world, this won’t be an easy task for someone as young and naïve as Jessie.
On the surface, this race-against-time plot seems like it could work in just about any scenario. We like the feeling of adrenaline rushes, especially when combined with supernatural elements. But it’s hard to be excited about the plot when the awkward writing style gets in the way of what would have otherwise been an enjoyable story. Unrealistic dialogue, obvious statements, a robotic narrator, and excessively short sentences are the best ways to describe the overall writing style Mr. McAvoy has employed with this novel. I know this book is geared toward a younger audience and younger readers aren’t as nitpicky as adults. But I can’t help but feel they too would be uncomfortable with the way this book is written.
The name of the main character also needs some analysis: Jessie James. The last time we heard about someone with this name, it was to describe a dangerous outlaw from wild west narratives. Ever since then, we’ve heard about other characters and celebrities with that name as well. We’ve heard about Sandra Bullock’s ex-boyfriend being named Jesse James as well as a female country singer with that name too. Hell, there was a WWE wrestler in the 1990’s named “Road Dogg” Jesse James. The name has been used so many times that it’s been beaten to death. The main protagonist of this story is just one more club to the dead horse’s body. Plus, it feels too obvious to name somebody that.
One more gripe about this story and then I’ll be finished with this review. The characters in this story seem too accepting towards supernatural elements. What’s that? A vampire? Meh. A ghost? Please. The grim reaper? Oh, that’s cool. These normally dangerous and imposing figures are just brushed off like nobody cares. In a dystopian society, this would be believable. But this just seems like an everyday modern community. Easily giving into supernatural phenomenon sounds too convenient, as if the author was trying to bypass the problem of having a protagonist whom nobody believes.
When Mr. McAvoy reads this review, I don’t want him to feel badly about what he’s produced. I want him to learn things and develop. That is my ultimate goal as a reviewer: to praise the author when necessary and hold him or her accountable when it matters most. This book may receive a failing grade (two stars) from little old me, but I assure you this is not Paul McAvoy’s last dance. The race-against-time plot is one that has a lot of truth to it. If it was better executed, then the complaints would be minimal. I hope Mr. McAvoy does learn something from this experience and I hope his next project will give him a chance to rise from the ashes like the phoenix he was meant to be.
Friday, August 21, 2015
Pain in the Grass 2015
***PAIN IN THE GRASS 2015***
This coming Sunday (August 23rd), I’m headed over to Auburn, Washington’s White River Amphitheater for the Pain in the Grass festival, which is basically a heavy metal concert with an ass ton of bands. I’ve been to a lot of concerts in my lifetime, but never to a festival-style concert. The show is expected to go from 2:00 in the afternoon to about 10 or 11 at night. Since the venue is at a grassy lawn, I’ll probably bring a blanket and rest in between performers. The last time I stood up for an ungodly amount of time was when I saw Cavalera Conspiracy this past May in Seattle. There were four opening bands that night before the main act and my legs were killing me. Laying on the grass during this upcoming event will feel like laying on one of heaven’s clouds. Here are the bands that will be performing:
MAIN STAGE:
Ayron Jones & the Way
Crobot
Motionless in White
Theory of a Deadman
Bullet for My Valentine
Three Days Grace
Lamb of God
Slipknot
ANOTHER CENTURY STAGE:
Varsity Week
Like a Storm
Stitched Up Heart
Awaken the Empire
New Years Day
Good God almighty, that’s a lot of heavy metal and hard rock bands. I’ll only be gone for one day at this concert, but the recovery time will probably keep me from participating in my usual internet festivities. I’ll probably still compete in that week’s WSS contest, but not until later in the week when I’m fully rested. Everything else that I do on the internet such as writing Blood Brawl chapters, editing American Darkness stories, editing Marie Krepps’ Slayers chapters, and anything else artistic I’ve neglected to mention will be put on hold, but for a very short time.
This may not be a week-long vacation, but it has the same feel: limited internet time and lots of snoozing. It’s funny, because my last journal entry was about “hanging around”. This time, I have an actual reason to idle. Come to think of it, I’ve always had a reason to idle, but didn’t realize it until now. Whenever I’m done with a creative task, I need to “cool off” and “recharge my batteries”. Creativity can be taxing on the mind, but not enough to keep me from enjoying the fruits of my labor. Isn’t that why working people have lunch breaks and coffee breaks? We’ve got ears, say cheers!
***TELEVISION DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***
ZIVA: I would have loved to see Gibbs shoot that computer.
MCGEE: If I don’t get his email working, you might get a second chance.
-NCIS-
This coming Sunday (August 23rd), I’m headed over to Auburn, Washington’s White River Amphitheater for the Pain in the Grass festival, which is basically a heavy metal concert with an ass ton of bands. I’ve been to a lot of concerts in my lifetime, but never to a festival-style concert. The show is expected to go from 2:00 in the afternoon to about 10 or 11 at night. Since the venue is at a grassy lawn, I’ll probably bring a blanket and rest in between performers. The last time I stood up for an ungodly amount of time was when I saw Cavalera Conspiracy this past May in Seattle. There were four opening bands that night before the main act and my legs were killing me. Laying on the grass during this upcoming event will feel like laying on one of heaven’s clouds. Here are the bands that will be performing:
MAIN STAGE:
Ayron Jones & the Way
Crobot
Motionless in White
Theory of a Deadman
Bullet for My Valentine
Three Days Grace
Lamb of God
Slipknot
ANOTHER CENTURY STAGE:
Varsity Week
Like a Storm
Stitched Up Heart
Awaken the Empire
New Years Day
Good God almighty, that’s a lot of heavy metal and hard rock bands. I’ll only be gone for one day at this concert, but the recovery time will probably keep me from participating in my usual internet festivities. I’ll probably still compete in that week’s WSS contest, but not until later in the week when I’m fully rested. Everything else that I do on the internet such as writing Blood Brawl chapters, editing American Darkness stories, editing Marie Krepps’ Slayers chapters, and anything else artistic I’ve neglected to mention will be put on hold, but for a very short time.
This may not be a week-long vacation, but it has the same feel: limited internet time and lots of snoozing. It’s funny, because my last journal entry was about “hanging around”. This time, I have an actual reason to idle. Come to think of it, I’ve always had a reason to idle, but didn’t realize it until now. Whenever I’m done with a creative task, I need to “cool off” and “recharge my batteries”. Creativity can be taxing on the mind, but not enough to keep me from enjoying the fruits of my labor. Isn’t that why working people have lunch breaks and coffee breaks? We’ve got ears, say cheers!
***TELEVISION DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***
ZIVA: I would have loved to see Gibbs shoot that computer.
MCGEE: If I don’t get his email working, you might get a second chance.
-NCIS-
"Blade of the Destroyer" by Andy Peloquin
BOOK TITLE: Blade of the Destroyer
AUTHOR: Andy Peloquin
YEAR: 2015
GENRE: Fiction
SUBGENRE: Medieval Fantasy
GRADE: Pass
The Hunter is a ruthless contract killer who always finishes his assignments and demands his payment right away. His methods are as mysterious as his actual birth name. He does everything on his own terms. Those who double-cross him will find themselves brutalized in the worst possible way. Rumors of his deadliness have spread far and wide, creating the illusion that he is invincible. But when he finishes an assassination of a high-ranking lord, he finds out that the aristocrat is involved with a criminal empire known as the Bloody Hand. Only through dealing with these merciless thugs will The Hunter’s invincibility be truly tested.
The reason this book gets a passing grade (four stars if you’re on Good Reads) is because of how well-constructed it is. Everything is so intricately researched to where the author himself feels like an authority on contract killings and stealth trickery. Whenever The Hunter needs a disguise, he not only puts on the right clothing, but he also puts plaster on his face to match the physical description of that character. When he needs an entry point into a castle or a fortress, he sneaks to the tippy-top of that building and eases his way inside with no problems. When he fights his opponents, they not only go down, they stay that way either through brutal incapacitation or death itself. The Hunter does everything he possibly can to keep his identity a secret while successfully going in for the kill.
As cold and calculating as he is, The Hunter is not without personal feelings. Every once and a while, he’ll meet with a small child or a lonely beggar that he feels so much sympathy for that he’ll pay them a little extra money and attention when walking by. He even allows beggars outside of his home, mostly to maintain subterfuge, but also because they have nowhere else to go. And whenever The Hunter sees a pretty woman, he’s not without his primal urges to get in bed with her and do the nasty. This goes to show that no matter how much you push your feelings down for the sake of your profession, they will always come back stronger than ever. It’s what makes us human, and though people think of The Hunter as godlike, he is human.
But if there’s one part about this novel that really had my attention, it’s The Hunter’s weapon of choice, the Bloodhunger. It’s a jagged dagger that not only rips flesh and shatters bones, but also drains the spiritual essence out of those it penetrates. When Bloodhunger wants blood, he’ll get it one way or another. Did I say he? That’s because the dagger actually communicates with The Hunter in a schizophrenic fashion whenever it’s time to kill someone. The hungrier the dagger is, the louder the head voices become. Sometimes The Hunter will have witty banter or a philosophical discussion in his own head about oligarchies, romance, and such, and Bloodhunger will completely interrupt his train of thought with violent words. Not only is this a creepy and frightening part of the story, but it’s also quite original. Any form of against the grain creativity will always strike a chord with not just me, but also other readers.
Andy Peloquin may be an independent author, but he’s no rookie. If he is, he doesn’t write like one. His descriptions paint a vivid image in the reader’s mind just like any piece of writing should. Blade of the Destroyer is no exception to that rule. You should also follow his blogs on Good Reads since his words of wisdom will ring true with any aspiring author. I follow him on Good Reads and we’ve actually become good friends over time. This passing grade I’m giving his book isn’t because we’re good friends. It’s because he’s a damn good writer with infinite potential and a creative mind. He can get the job done come hell or high water.
Tagline/Elevator Pitch:
A faceless, nameless assassin. A forgotten past. The Hunter of Voramis--a killer devoid of morals, or something else altogether? (Blade of the Destroyer--dark fantasy with a look at the underside of human nature)
Book Blurb:
The Last Bucelarii (Book 1): Blade of the Destroyer
The Hunter of Voramis is the perfect assassin: ruthless, unrelenting, immortal. Yet he is haunted by lost memories, bonded to a cursed dagger that feeds him power yet denies him peace of mind. Within him rages an unquenchable need for blood and death.
When he accepts a contract to avenge the stolen innocence of a girl, the Hunter becomes the prey. The death of a seemingly random target sends him hurtling toward destruction, yet could his path also lead to the truth of his buried past?
Book Info:
Title: The Last Bucelarii (Book 1): Blade of the Destroyer
Author: Andy Peloquin
Official Launch Date: August 21st, 2015
Publication Date: July 11th, 2015
Paperback Price: $15.99
Digital Price: $3.99
Pages: 298
ISBN: 1515038955
Buy Links:
Amazon Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Blade-Destroyer-Last-Bucelarii-Book-ebook/dp/B012EI9M4A/
Amazon Paperback: http://www.amazon.com/Blade-Destroyer-Last-Bucelarii-Book/dp/1515038955/
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25269614-blade-of-the-destroyer
Book Launch Event:
https://www.facebook.com/events/1625045874438351/
Bio:
Andy Peloquin: Lover of All Things Dark and Mysterious
Andy Peloquin--a third culture kid to the core--has loved to read since before he could remember. Sherlock Holmes, the Phantom of the Opera, and Father Brown are just a few of the books that ensnared his imagination as a child.
When he discovered science fiction and fantasy through the pages of writers like Edgar Rice Burroughs, J.R.R Tolkien, and Orson Scott Card, he was immediately hooked and hasn't looked back since.
Andy's first attempt at writing produced In the Days: A Tale of the Forgotten Continent. He has learned from the mistakes he made and used the experience to produce Blade of the Destroyer, a book of which he is very proud.
Reading—and now writing—is his favorite escape, and it provides him an outlet for his innate creativity. He is an artist; words are his palette.
His website (http://www.andypeloquin.com) is a second home for him, a place where he can post his thoughts and feelings--along with reviews of books he finds laying around the internet.
He can also be found on his social media pages, such as:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/AndyPeloquin
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/andyqpeloquin
www.linkedin.com/in/andypeloquin/
https://plus.google.com/100885994638914122147/about
https://www.amazon.com/author/andypeloquin
https://www.facebook.com/andrew.peloquin.1
10 Things You Need to Know About Me:
Hot wings, ALWAYS!
I never forget a face, but rarely remember a name.
I'm a head taller than the average person (I'm 6' 6")
Marvel > DC
I was born in Japan, and lived there until the age of 14.
Selena Gomez and Five Finger Death Punch are both in my playlist.
Aliens are real, but it's self-centered of us to believe that they would come to visit Earth.
Watching sports: suck. Playing sports: EPIC!
I earned a purple belt in Karate/Hapkido/Taekwondo.
I dislike most Christmas music, aside from Trans-Siberian Orchestra.
Reviews:
"Creative, gritty, and beautifully dark...fantasy addicts will love it!" -- Peter Story, author of Things Grak Hates -- http://peterjstory.com/
"The fantasy world has a compelling new antihero…the Hunter will terrify and captivate you." - Eve A Floriste, author of Fresh Cut
"From the first words on the page this fantasy holds the reader spellbound even after the book is finished…his character is very well-defined even if his past is a mystery. Root for an assassin? Oh, yes, one must!" -- Carol Conley, for InDTale Magazine
AUTHOR: Andy Peloquin
YEAR: 2015
GENRE: Fiction
SUBGENRE: Medieval Fantasy
GRADE: Pass
The Hunter is a ruthless contract killer who always finishes his assignments and demands his payment right away. His methods are as mysterious as his actual birth name. He does everything on his own terms. Those who double-cross him will find themselves brutalized in the worst possible way. Rumors of his deadliness have spread far and wide, creating the illusion that he is invincible. But when he finishes an assassination of a high-ranking lord, he finds out that the aristocrat is involved with a criminal empire known as the Bloody Hand. Only through dealing with these merciless thugs will The Hunter’s invincibility be truly tested.
The reason this book gets a passing grade (four stars if you’re on Good Reads) is because of how well-constructed it is. Everything is so intricately researched to where the author himself feels like an authority on contract killings and stealth trickery. Whenever The Hunter needs a disguise, he not only puts on the right clothing, but he also puts plaster on his face to match the physical description of that character. When he needs an entry point into a castle or a fortress, he sneaks to the tippy-top of that building and eases his way inside with no problems. When he fights his opponents, they not only go down, they stay that way either through brutal incapacitation or death itself. The Hunter does everything he possibly can to keep his identity a secret while successfully going in for the kill.
As cold and calculating as he is, The Hunter is not without personal feelings. Every once and a while, he’ll meet with a small child or a lonely beggar that he feels so much sympathy for that he’ll pay them a little extra money and attention when walking by. He even allows beggars outside of his home, mostly to maintain subterfuge, but also because they have nowhere else to go. And whenever The Hunter sees a pretty woman, he’s not without his primal urges to get in bed with her and do the nasty. This goes to show that no matter how much you push your feelings down for the sake of your profession, they will always come back stronger than ever. It’s what makes us human, and though people think of The Hunter as godlike, he is human.
But if there’s one part about this novel that really had my attention, it’s The Hunter’s weapon of choice, the Bloodhunger. It’s a jagged dagger that not only rips flesh and shatters bones, but also drains the spiritual essence out of those it penetrates. When Bloodhunger wants blood, he’ll get it one way or another. Did I say he? That’s because the dagger actually communicates with The Hunter in a schizophrenic fashion whenever it’s time to kill someone. The hungrier the dagger is, the louder the head voices become. Sometimes The Hunter will have witty banter or a philosophical discussion in his own head about oligarchies, romance, and such, and Bloodhunger will completely interrupt his train of thought with violent words. Not only is this a creepy and frightening part of the story, but it’s also quite original. Any form of against the grain creativity will always strike a chord with not just me, but also other readers.
Andy Peloquin may be an independent author, but he’s no rookie. If he is, he doesn’t write like one. His descriptions paint a vivid image in the reader’s mind just like any piece of writing should. Blade of the Destroyer is no exception to that rule. You should also follow his blogs on Good Reads since his words of wisdom will ring true with any aspiring author. I follow him on Good Reads and we’ve actually become good friends over time. This passing grade I’m giving his book isn’t because we’re good friends. It’s because he’s a damn good writer with infinite potential and a creative mind. He can get the job done come hell or high water.
Tagline/Elevator Pitch:
A faceless, nameless assassin. A forgotten past. The Hunter of Voramis--a killer devoid of morals, or something else altogether? (Blade of the Destroyer--dark fantasy with a look at the underside of human nature)
Book Blurb:
The Last Bucelarii (Book 1): Blade of the Destroyer
The Hunter of Voramis is the perfect assassin: ruthless, unrelenting, immortal. Yet he is haunted by lost memories, bonded to a cursed dagger that feeds him power yet denies him peace of mind. Within him rages an unquenchable need for blood and death.
When he accepts a contract to avenge the stolen innocence of a girl, the Hunter becomes the prey. The death of a seemingly random target sends him hurtling toward destruction, yet could his path also lead to the truth of his buried past?
Book Info:
Title: The Last Bucelarii (Book 1): Blade of the Destroyer
Author: Andy Peloquin
Official Launch Date: August 21st, 2015
Publication Date: July 11th, 2015
Paperback Price: $15.99
Digital Price: $3.99
Pages: 298
ISBN: 1515038955
Buy Links:
Amazon Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Blade-Destroyer-Last-Bucelarii-Book-ebook/dp/B012EI9M4A/
Amazon Paperback: http://www.amazon.com/Blade-Destroyer-Last-Bucelarii-Book/dp/1515038955/
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25269614-blade-of-the-destroyer
Book Launch Event:
https://www.facebook.com/events/1625045874438351/
Bio:
Andy Peloquin: Lover of All Things Dark and Mysterious
Andy Peloquin--a third culture kid to the core--has loved to read since before he could remember. Sherlock Holmes, the Phantom of the Opera, and Father Brown are just a few of the books that ensnared his imagination as a child.
When he discovered science fiction and fantasy through the pages of writers like Edgar Rice Burroughs, J.R.R Tolkien, and Orson Scott Card, he was immediately hooked and hasn't looked back since.
Andy's first attempt at writing produced In the Days: A Tale of the Forgotten Continent. He has learned from the mistakes he made and used the experience to produce Blade of the Destroyer, a book of which he is very proud.
Reading—and now writing—is his favorite escape, and it provides him an outlet for his innate creativity. He is an artist; words are his palette.
His website (http://www.andypeloquin.com) is a second home for him, a place where he can post his thoughts and feelings--along with reviews of books he finds laying around the internet.
He can also be found on his social media pages, such as:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/AndyPeloquin
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/andyqpeloquin
www.linkedin.com/in/andypeloquin/
https://plus.google.com/100885994638914122147/about
https://www.amazon.com/author/andypeloquin
https://www.facebook.com/andrew.peloquin.1
10 Things You Need to Know About Me:
I never forget a face, but rarely remember a name.
I'm a head taller than the average person (I'm 6' 6")
Marvel > DC
I was born in Japan, and lived there until the age of 14.
Selena Gomez and Five Finger Death Punch are both in my playlist.
Aliens are real, but it's self-centered of us to believe that they would come to visit Earth.
Watching sports: suck. Playing sports: EPIC!
I earned a purple belt in Karate/Hapkido/Taekwondo.
I dislike most Christmas music, aside from Trans-Siberian Orchestra.
Reviews:
"Creative, gritty, and beautifully dark...fantasy addicts will love it!" -- Peter Story, author of Things Grak Hates -- http://peterjstory.com/
"The fantasy world has a compelling new antihero…the Hunter will terrify and captivate you." - Eve A Floriste, author of Fresh Cut
"From the first words on the page this fantasy holds the reader spellbound even after the book is finished…his character is very well-defined even if his past is a mystery. Root for an assassin? Oh, yes, one must!" -- Carol Conley, for InDTale Magazine
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
WWE Wrestlemania 31: Sting vs. Triple H
MATCH: Sting vs. Triple H in a No Disqualification match
PROMOTION: World Wrestling Entertainment
EVENT: Wrestlemania 31
YEAR: 2015
RATING: TV-PG for violence
GRADE: Pass
In the 1990’s, the ratings war between WWE and WCW was one that would determine which company would remain in business. Both companies had high-rising superstars. Both companies had millions of dollars. Both companies pushed the envelope with their edgy television shows. In the beginning of this competitive war, WCW introduced the world to The New World Order, a faction of rebels consisting of mega-stars like Scott Hall (formerly Razor Ramon), Kevin Nash (formerly Diesel), Hulk Hogan, and many other wrestlers with a legendary legacy.
But in the end, it was the youth and freshness of Mick Foley, Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, and Degeneration X that slew the beast known as WCW. The star power-fueled company known as WCW closed its doors permanently in 2001 with many of their wrestlers serving as jobbers for the WWE during the “invasion” storyline.
Fast forward to Survivor Series in 2014, which was 13 years after the WCW legacy was buried forever. The Authority (Triple H and Stephanie McMahon) were throwing their weight around and making life for young up-and-comers miserable. Daniel Bryan had been put on the injured reserve list, Dolph Ziggler had many handicapped matches to deal with, John Cena was losing his opportunities at star power, and oh yeah, the Big Show cried like a baby.
Who decides to show up at Survivor Series of that year? Sting, the face-painted, trench coat-wearing, baseball bat-wielding vigilante who said more with just one stare than most wrestlers could in a ten minute interview. He continued to cost The Authority matches and play mind games with Triple H. Sting was at one point WCW’s lone soldier against the powers of the New World Order. Over a decade later, he wants revenge against Triple H for putting that company out of business and leaving Sting in an indefinite stasis (actually, he wrestled for TNA, which is basically WCW for the 2000’s, but who’s keeping track?).
Several months after Sting’s WWE debut, a match between him and Triple H is made for 2015’s biggest pay-per-view event, Wrestlemania 31. It was billed as a clash between icons of their respective companies, Sting representing WCW and Triple H representing WWE. These two wrestlers were past the prime of their careers, yet they were determined to wrestle with the spirit of youth. For Sting, this wasn’t just about WCW closing its doors in 2001; this was about knocking a tyrant like Triple H off of his throne.
Fast forward to the actual match between these two. Wrestlemania events are known for super-creative entrances to the ring. This match was no different when Sting came to the ring with face-painted Japanese warriors were playing Taiko drums to introduce him. Triple H chose something slightly more epic for his entrance. He dressed like The Terminator and carried metal skulls to the ring with him. Sting promised the samurai warrior spirit and Triple H promised futuristic destruction that spared nobody. Which one would prevail?
Sting and Triple H had a lot of miles on their bodies, but with those miles comes wisdom and experience. The opening parts of the match were wrestled with basic maneuvers such as clotheslines, hip tosses, knee drops, back body drops, suplexes, and the occasional corner splash. Yes, these are old school moves, but Triple H and Sting did them with such perfection that they were actually entertaining to watch. Even more entertaining was when Sting had Triple H dead to rights in the Scorpion Death Lock.
And then we hear the Chris Warren band screaming, “Break it down!”, which could mean only one thing: the arrival of Degeneration X members Road Dog, Billy Gunn, and X-Pac, all three of which were instrumental in bringing WCW to its knees. If they wanted to get involved in the match, they could since it was announced as No Disqualification. The numbers game was sure to catch Sting off guard.
And then we hear Frank Shelley’s guitar twanging and twisting, which meant the arrival of New World Order members Hulk Hogan, Scott Hall, and Kevin Nash, all three of which had achieved WWE Hall of Fame inductions. Outside of the ring, the New World Order and Degeneration X members beat the hell out of each other. They threw each other against barricades, ring posts, the punched and kicked like there was no tomorrow, and there was even a time when Road Dog back body dropped Scott Hall on the concrete floor…and Scott Hall, as elderly as he was, got back up!
And then the hardware started to come out, Sting with his baseball bat and Triple H with his sledgehammer. While the NWO and DX were fighting outside the ring, the two actual match competitors fought like medieval warriors with their hardcore weapons. Triple H was determined to be the badass barbarian he always was with his hammer, but with one strike from Sting’s bat, the hammer broke in two and Triple H was cornered.
And then, the final member of DX, Shawn Michaels, another Hall of Famer, came out of nowhere and super-kicked Sting into unconsciousness. It was another blow from Triple H’s now broken hammer that finally did in the vigilante known as Sting. A count to three later and Triple H was declared the winner of this war between WWE and WCW. After all was said and done, the members of the New World Order, Degeneration X, Triple H, and Sting all got together and showed each other respect with hand shakes and hugs.
Normally when old wrestlers get in the ring, they’re huffing and puffing as they struggle with their equilibrium, which is why a lot of WCW were boring to watch. But when the remnants of DX and the NWO got in their time machines and threw themselves into the Wrestlemania 31 vortex, it had the crowd chanting, “This is awesome!” over and over again. I would have chanted the same thing if I was in San Francisco that day. Hell, that whole audience was having nerd-gasms all night long after this match. There wasn’t one bad match on that whole pay-per-view. In fact, Wrestlemania 31 might get the nod for Best Major Show of 2015 from the Wrestling Observer Newsletter and it would be a well deserved honor.
Nerd-gasms and childhood memories aside, the conclusion of this match does beg the question of what Sting’s role within WWE will be now that he failed to dethrone Triple H. Is his momentum completely destroyed? Will he strictly have a backstage role? Will he show up at another major show and shift the balance of power again? I wouldn’t mind seeing Sting again someday. He has many decades of wear and tear on his body, yet he wrestles like a 21-year-old. In other words, the man forgot to age. Give him another chance, damn it!
PROMOTION: World Wrestling Entertainment
EVENT: Wrestlemania 31
YEAR: 2015
RATING: TV-PG for violence
GRADE: Pass
In the 1990’s, the ratings war between WWE and WCW was one that would determine which company would remain in business. Both companies had high-rising superstars. Both companies had millions of dollars. Both companies pushed the envelope with their edgy television shows. In the beginning of this competitive war, WCW introduced the world to The New World Order, a faction of rebels consisting of mega-stars like Scott Hall (formerly Razor Ramon), Kevin Nash (formerly Diesel), Hulk Hogan, and many other wrestlers with a legendary legacy.
But in the end, it was the youth and freshness of Mick Foley, Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, and Degeneration X that slew the beast known as WCW. The star power-fueled company known as WCW closed its doors permanently in 2001 with many of their wrestlers serving as jobbers for the WWE during the “invasion” storyline.
Fast forward to Survivor Series in 2014, which was 13 years after the WCW legacy was buried forever. The Authority (Triple H and Stephanie McMahon) were throwing their weight around and making life for young up-and-comers miserable. Daniel Bryan had been put on the injured reserve list, Dolph Ziggler had many handicapped matches to deal with, John Cena was losing his opportunities at star power, and oh yeah, the Big Show cried like a baby.
Who decides to show up at Survivor Series of that year? Sting, the face-painted, trench coat-wearing, baseball bat-wielding vigilante who said more with just one stare than most wrestlers could in a ten minute interview. He continued to cost The Authority matches and play mind games with Triple H. Sting was at one point WCW’s lone soldier against the powers of the New World Order. Over a decade later, he wants revenge against Triple H for putting that company out of business and leaving Sting in an indefinite stasis (actually, he wrestled for TNA, which is basically WCW for the 2000’s, but who’s keeping track?).
Several months after Sting’s WWE debut, a match between him and Triple H is made for 2015’s biggest pay-per-view event, Wrestlemania 31. It was billed as a clash between icons of their respective companies, Sting representing WCW and Triple H representing WWE. These two wrestlers were past the prime of their careers, yet they were determined to wrestle with the spirit of youth. For Sting, this wasn’t just about WCW closing its doors in 2001; this was about knocking a tyrant like Triple H off of his throne.
Fast forward to the actual match between these two. Wrestlemania events are known for super-creative entrances to the ring. This match was no different when Sting came to the ring with face-painted Japanese warriors were playing Taiko drums to introduce him. Triple H chose something slightly more epic for his entrance. He dressed like The Terminator and carried metal skulls to the ring with him. Sting promised the samurai warrior spirit and Triple H promised futuristic destruction that spared nobody. Which one would prevail?
Sting and Triple H had a lot of miles on their bodies, but with those miles comes wisdom and experience. The opening parts of the match were wrestled with basic maneuvers such as clotheslines, hip tosses, knee drops, back body drops, suplexes, and the occasional corner splash. Yes, these are old school moves, but Triple H and Sting did them with such perfection that they were actually entertaining to watch. Even more entertaining was when Sting had Triple H dead to rights in the Scorpion Death Lock.
And then we hear the Chris Warren band screaming, “Break it down!”, which could mean only one thing: the arrival of Degeneration X members Road Dog, Billy Gunn, and X-Pac, all three of which were instrumental in bringing WCW to its knees. If they wanted to get involved in the match, they could since it was announced as No Disqualification. The numbers game was sure to catch Sting off guard.
And then we hear Frank Shelley’s guitar twanging and twisting, which meant the arrival of New World Order members Hulk Hogan, Scott Hall, and Kevin Nash, all three of which had achieved WWE Hall of Fame inductions. Outside of the ring, the New World Order and Degeneration X members beat the hell out of each other. They threw each other against barricades, ring posts, the punched and kicked like there was no tomorrow, and there was even a time when Road Dog back body dropped Scott Hall on the concrete floor…and Scott Hall, as elderly as he was, got back up!
And then the hardware started to come out, Sting with his baseball bat and Triple H with his sledgehammer. While the NWO and DX were fighting outside the ring, the two actual match competitors fought like medieval warriors with their hardcore weapons. Triple H was determined to be the badass barbarian he always was with his hammer, but with one strike from Sting’s bat, the hammer broke in two and Triple H was cornered.
And then, the final member of DX, Shawn Michaels, another Hall of Famer, came out of nowhere and super-kicked Sting into unconsciousness. It was another blow from Triple H’s now broken hammer that finally did in the vigilante known as Sting. A count to three later and Triple H was declared the winner of this war between WWE and WCW. After all was said and done, the members of the New World Order, Degeneration X, Triple H, and Sting all got together and showed each other respect with hand shakes and hugs.
Normally when old wrestlers get in the ring, they’re huffing and puffing as they struggle with their equilibrium, which is why a lot of WCW were boring to watch. But when the remnants of DX and the NWO got in their time machines and threw themselves into the Wrestlemania 31 vortex, it had the crowd chanting, “This is awesome!” over and over again. I would have chanted the same thing if I was in San Francisco that day. Hell, that whole audience was having nerd-gasms all night long after this match. There wasn’t one bad match on that whole pay-per-view. In fact, Wrestlemania 31 might get the nod for Best Major Show of 2015 from the Wrestling Observer Newsletter and it would be a well deserved honor.
Nerd-gasms and childhood memories aside, the conclusion of this match does beg the question of what Sting’s role within WWE will be now that he failed to dethrone Triple H. Is his momentum completely destroyed? Will he strictly have a backstage role? Will he show up at another major show and shift the balance of power again? I wouldn’t mind seeing Sting again someday. He has many decades of wear and tear on his body, yet he wrestles like a 21-year-old. In other words, the man forgot to age. Give him another chance, damn it!
Thursday, June 11, 2015
WWE Payback: John Cena vs. Rusev
MATCH: John Cena vs. Rusev in an “I Quit” match for Cena’s United States Championship
PROMOTION: World Wrestling Entertainment
EVENT: Payback
YEAR: 2015
RATING: TV-PG for violence
GRADE: Pass
Ever since arriving in the WWE in early 2014, Rusev has been an unstoppable force. With his manager slash girlfriend Lana as his mouthpiece, the two of them represented the Russian federation and Vladimir Putin in their quest to show how “weak” the United States of America is. With an undefeated streak that extended all the way to Wrestlemania of 2015 and a United States Championship reign, Rusev made a convincing case as to why he should be taken seriously. His endless victories were over the likes of Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, Mark Henry, The Big Show, and the biggest American patriot of them all, Jack Swagger. He also caught the attention of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter in the form of two positive awards for 2014: Most Improved and Best Gimmick (alongside Lana as Russian nationalists).
To stop this runaway train known as Rusev, who is north of 300 lbs. and has backgrounds as a rower, a sumo wrestler, and a Muay Thai kick boxer, it would take someone who was not only known for winning big matches, but also for winning them consistently over the course of a 13-year career. That man was the 15-time World Champion, proud American patriot, and future Hall of Famer, John Cena. Cena couldn’t get the job done at WWE Fast Lane due to him passing out in Rusev’s submission hold The Accolade, which is really just his own version of a Camel Clutch. At Wrestlemania of that year, however, John Cena not only pinned Rusev, but handed the Russian nationalist his first defeat and took away the United States Championship.
By being undefeated for a lengthy period of time and beating the best in the world, Rusev made the United States Championship a legitimate award once again. John Cena continued that tradition when he issued a weekly open challenge for the title every night on Raw. So what kind of match would finally end the rivalry between two legitimate badass athletes who are so proud of their respective countries? How about an “I Quit” match at Payback. The rules of that match are exactly how they sound: there are no pin falls, submissions, count-outs, or disqualifications. The only way to win the match is to get your opponent to say “I Quit” when the referee holds a microphone to his face.
The match at Payback could very well be a top contender for Match of the Year and could catapult John Cena vs. Rusev in the Feud of the Year as well. Considering the fact that neither athlete would ever say “I Quit” (John Cena has a spotless record in this kind of match), they would have to do some horribly violent things to each other that not only hurt physically, but broke their spirits.
And boy did they ever torture each other. Rusev put on a martial arts clinic with his Muay Thai kicks and bullied John Cena around throughout much of the opening part of the match. But then as the match started taking place around the arena, Cena and Rusev were really turning up their game. They put each other through tables, threw each other against electrical equipment, rammed each other into barricades, there was even a spot when John Cena threw Rusev into the pyrotechnics area and ignited the fireworks. And Rusev still wouldn’t say “I Quit”! So John Cena suplexed Rusev through a metal barricade and bent the damn thing in half. Guess what: Rusev still wouldn’t quit!
The action returned to the ring and a desperate Rusev loosened to the top rope and bound it across John Cena’s face as he went for The Accolade. While Cena didn’t say, “I Quit”, he did pass out. However, passing out does not constitute a victory like it did at Fast Lane when it was one fall to a finish. The Russian nationalist would have to wake Cena up and try again. Except this time Cena was ready. He dropped Rusev on his stomach and applied his own submission hold, the STF, with the rope bound across the anti-American’s nose.
Referee Mike Chioda held the microphone to Rusev’s face and asked if he wanted to quit. Instead of giving a definitive answer, he started rambling on in a foreign language, either Russian (like his gimmick says he is) or Bulgarian (his actual native tongue). The only one who could translate what he was saying was his manager Lana, who promptly told the referee her boyfriend said “I Quit” and mercifully ended the match with John Cena still the United States Champion.
The ending to this match was shrouded in controversy since Rusev was rambling in a foreign language and didn’t make himself clear as to whether or not he actually quit the match. Lana basically had to throw in the towel for him, which made Rusev angry enough to want to dump his girlfriend and be on his own. The angry Bulgarian was supposed to compete at the Elimination Chamber event on the WWE Network for the Intercontinental Championship, but he fractured his ankle and put himself on the injured reserve list, though he still made appearances to harass Lana.
As for John Cena, the United States Championship is still a symbol of excellence and an example of American pride. He would eventually be defeated at the Elimination Chamber pay-per-view, but not for his championship. Instead it was a non-title match versus another brash up-and-comer, the NXT Champion Kevin Owens. Cena made Owens work hard for his victory and forced him to pull off flashy high risk moves that don’t normally come from a guy Owens’ size. Putting over Kevin Owens was a brave move on the part of WWE management and considering everything John Cena has been through not only with Rusev, but also his entire career, it was a worthy victory.
The future looks bright for both athletes despite a monumental loss for John Cena and an ankle injury for Rusev. High profile matches are written in the stars for these two deadly athletes and nobody is more deserving. Congratulations, you two, on putting on a badass match at Payback!
PROMOTION: World Wrestling Entertainment
EVENT: Payback
YEAR: 2015
RATING: TV-PG for violence
GRADE: Pass
Ever since arriving in the WWE in early 2014, Rusev has been an unstoppable force. With his manager slash girlfriend Lana as his mouthpiece, the two of them represented the Russian federation and Vladimir Putin in their quest to show how “weak” the United States of America is. With an undefeated streak that extended all the way to Wrestlemania of 2015 and a United States Championship reign, Rusev made a convincing case as to why he should be taken seriously. His endless victories were over the likes of Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, Mark Henry, The Big Show, and the biggest American patriot of them all, Jack Swagger. He also caught the attention of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter in the form of two positive awards for 2014: Most Improved and Best Gimmick (alongside Lana as Russian nationalists).
To stop this runaway train known as Rusev, who is north of 300 lbs. and has backgrounds as a rower, a sumo wrestler, and a Muay Thai kick boxer, it would take someone who was not only known for winning big matches, but also for winning them consistently over the course of a 13-year career. That man was the 15-time World Champion, proud American patriot, and future Hall of Famer, John Cena. Cena couldn’t get the job done at WWE Fast Lane due to him passing out in Rusev’s submission hold The Accolade, which is really just his own version of a Camel Clutch. At Wrestlemania of that year, however, John Cena not only pinned Rusev, but handed the Russian nationalist his first defeat and took away the United States Championship.
By being undefeated for a lengthy period of time and beating the best in the world, Rusev made the United States Championship a legitimate award once again. John Cena continued that tradition when he issued a weekly open challenge for the title every night on Raw. So what kind of match would finally end the rivalry between two legitimate badass athletes who are so proud of their respective countries? How about an “I Quit” match at Payback. The rules of that match are exactly how they sound: there are no pin falls, submissions, count-outs, or disqualifications. The only way to win the match is to get your opponent to say “I Quit” when the referee holds a microphone to his face.
The match at Payback could very well be a top contender for Match of the Year and could catapult John Cena vs. Rusev in the Feud of the Year as well. Considering the fact that neither athlete would ever say “I Quit” (John Cena has a spotless record in this kind of match), they would have to do some horribly violent things to each other that not only hurt physically, but broke their spirits.
And boy did they ever torture each other. Rusev put on a martial arts clinic with his Muay Thai kicks and bullied John Cena around throughout much of the opening part of the match. But then as the match started taking place around the arena, Cena and Rusev were really turning up their game. They put each other through tables, threw each other against electrical equipment, rammed each other into barricades, there was even a spot when John Cena threw Rusev into the pyrotechnics area and ignited the fireworks. And Rusev still wouldn’t say “I Quit”! So John Cena suplexed Rusev through a metal barricade and bent the damn thing in half. Guess what: Rusev still wouldn’t quit!
The action returned to the ring and a desperate Rusev loosened to the top rope and bound it across John Cena’s face as he went for The Accolade. While Cena didn’t say, “I Quit”, he did pass out. However, passing out does not constitute a victory like it did at Fast Lane when it was one fall to a finish. The Russian nationalist would have to wake Cena up and try again. Except this time Cena was ready. He dropped Rusev on his stomach and applied his own submission hold, the STF, with the rope bound across the anti-American’s nose.
Referee Mike Chioda held the microphone to Rusev’s face and asked if he wanted to quit. Instead of giving a definitive answer, he started rambling on in a foreign language, either Russian (like his gimmick says he is) or Bulgarian (his actual native tongue). The only one who could translate what he was saying was his manager Lana, who promptly told the referee her boyfriend said “I Quit” and mercifully ended the match with John Cena still the United States Champion.
The ending to this match was shrouded in controversy since Rusev was rambling in a foreign language and didn’t make himself clear as to whether or not he actually quit the match. Lana basically had to throw in the towel for him, which made Rusev angry enough to want to dump his girlfriend and be on his own. The angry Bulgarian was supposed to compete at the Elimination Chamber event on the WWE Network for the Intercontinental Championship, but he fractured his ankle and put himself on the injured reserve list, though he still made appearances to harass Lana.
As for John Cena, the United States Championship is still a symbol of excellence and an example of American pride. He would eventually be defeated at the Elimination Chamber pay-per-view, but not for his championship. Instead it was a non-title match versus another brash up-and-comer, the NXT Champion Kevin Owens. Cena made Owens work hard for his victory and forced him to pull off flashy high risk moves that don’t normally come from a guy Owens’ size. Putting over Kevin Owens was a brave move on the part of WWE management and considering everything John Cena has been through not only with Rusev, but also his entire career, it was a worthy victory.
The future looks bright for both athletes despite a monumental loss for John Cena and an ankle injury for Rusev. High profile matches are written in the stars for these two deadly athletes and nobody is more deserving. Congratulations, you two, on putting on a badass match at Payback!
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