***TREEHOUSE OF HELL***
For some reason, the title of this journal sounds like a secret level in one of the Diablo computer games. I can fully imagine taking my barbarian and paladin and storming the shit out of that place, purging it of demons forever (or at least until Diablo is resurrected for the next videogame). As much as I’d like for this to happen, that’s actually not why I’m writing this journal. This review is about something much deeper: reviews.
When it comes to reviews, writing them has become over time just as much a part of my professional life as paperback copies of Occupy Wrestling, American Darkness, and Confessions of a Schizophrenic Savage. Whenever I read a book, I feel obligated to write a review for it in order to help that author out no matter how famous or obscure he or she may be. I recently wrote reviews for the obscure “Girlfriend Wager” by Edward Davies and the wildly popular “Silence of the Lambs” by Thomas Harris. Both books received passing grades (four stars) and are more popular for their reviews. Then again, honestly critiquing the book does more for an author than giving the book a particular number of stars. Honesty is the best policy. Don’t bullshit people when you write your reviews. In the words of George Carlin, “It’s all bullshit and it’s bad for you.”
But that’s with books. What about TV shows? What about movies? What about wrestling or mixed-martial arts matches? I’m not a movie director or a pro-athlete by any stretch of the imagination, so I don’t have as much influence over television as I do with books. I’ll admit that there are times when I feel down about people not caring about my television reviews. But then I remember that this is the internet and people get ignored all the time. If I give up writing television reviews just because of the lack of demand, then that goes against the whole idea of writing: because it’s good creative fun.
Now that I’ve said that, I want you all to pay attention to the date October 25th, 2015. On that Sunday night at 8:00 pacific time, there will be two different shows going on at the same time. The first will be a pay-per-view event only broadcast on the WWE Network called Hell in a Cell, in which the two titular matches will be Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker and Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt. The other TV program going on at that time will be The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror 26, which is a Halloween tradition for the Haines-Temons-Stevens-Wilson household.
Normally, I would have to choose one or the other, but thanks to the magic of my Roku streaming device, I can watch one show on that Sunday night and watch the other one at a later time at my leisure. The point of telling you the significance of the 25th? Because both TV shows will be ripe for the picking when it comes to reviews. That would lead you guys to believe why I didn’t review any matches on the NXT Takeover special called Respect. That NXT pay-per-view was so damn good top to bottom that writing praise for it would be overkill. Not so much with Hell in a Cell, where anything can and will happen.
Halloween is one of my favorite holidays for many reasons: good candy, creative costumes, kick-ass TV shows, and the all around frightening spirit of that night. I may be 30 years old, but acting my age is not one of my virtues. I’m definitely dressing up for Halloween and it’s going to be fun! We’ve got ears, say cheers!
***READING PRIORITIES***
With “The Girlfriend Wager” and “Silence of the Lambs” in my rearview mirror, it’s time for two more books to go on my currently reading shelf on Good Reads. One of those books is called “January First” by Michael Schofield, in which the author recounts his experiences with raising a daughter who was diagnosed with schizophrenia at the tender age of six. As you can tell, this has a special place in my heart since I was diagnosed at age 17. I’ve heard the other book I’m going to read has mental health implications as well. It’s called “Love Me Today, Kill Me Tomorrow” by my very own beautiful beta reader Marie Krepps. I can’t wait to get started on these!
***DARK FANTASY WARRIORS***
October has been unofficially dubbed by my good friend Zero Urrea as “villains month”. He’s been pumping out MS Paint pictures of various villains that catch his fancy and I will be doing the same with my pencil and paper drawings. The next villain on the horizon for me is Colleen Owens, the machete-wielding eco-warrior who along with a crew of pirates slashes the shit out of Riff De La Luka’s weed-smuggling crew in the short story “Bleed For Weed”. Riff already has a drawing of him online and he’s bearing resemblance to Dee Jay from Super Street Fighter II. I haven’t decided yet who I’m going to use for Colleen Owens’ reference picture model, but I’m leaning towards Brie Bella from the WWE since they both hold strong pro-environmental views. Although to be fair to Brie, she would never hack random drug smugglers to pieces with a machete…as far as I know. Hehe!
***JOKE OF THE DAY***
Q: What’s Edward Davies’ favorite kind of shotgun?
A: Sod-Off.
Showing posts with label The Girlfriend Wager. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Girlfriend Wager. Show all posts
Saturday, October 17, 2015
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
"The Girlfriend Wager" by Edward Davies
BOOK TITLE: The Girlfriend Wager
AUTHOR: Edward Davies
YEAR: 2015
GENRE: Fiction
SUBGENRE: Sex Drama-Comedy
GRADE: Pass
In 1990’s England, five college buddies, Rob, Kent, Adrian, Jim, and Hugh, get together in a bar one night and make a wager with each other. Whoever could keep a relationship with a girl for at least three months while having sex at least once would have the rest of the group pay for his drinks after the college year was over. Girl shyness, awkward behavior, previous lovers, and many other strange obstacles get in the way of determining a true victor. Hearts are broken, embarrassments happen, and the only escape for these five friends is a giant glass of cold beer. Is anybody really a winner in this story or are these five virgins just a group of sad sops?
I’m going to start with the biggest reason why this e-book gets a passing grade. The concepts of girl shyness, social awkwardness, virginity, and fear of rejection all resonate with me on a deep level. Yes, this is intended to be funny in some places, but that doesn’t stop the book from speaking the truth from time to time. When I went to high school and college, I was one of the wallflowers who stayed in the background while being protected from the emotional despair of romance. Everyone was always saying to me, “Just ask her out! It’s no big deal! If she says no, just move on to the next one!” If love was that easy, I’d have a whole harem of girls coming after me. But as I’ve found out both from my own experiences with dating and from reading this book, it’s complicated on so many levels. I want to love and be loved, but getting my foot in the door is harder for me than it is for the five friends, and that’s saying something.
Before I get too far into a rant, I have to discuss the other reason why this book gets a passing grade: the pacing. While it is true the book is 400-plus pages long, it reads so quickly that you won’t feel bogged down by too much description. Besides, most of the descriptions come from 90’s pop culture references that I actually understand, so the pacing is even better. If you’re an author and comedy is your intended genre, you don’t want to spend too much time on funny descriptions. The jokes were delivered with such rapid-fire wit that I basically blitzed through the entire story with no potholes or traffic lights along the way. It helps that the witty aspects of this book come from the author using a lot of British vernacular like “fancy” and “bullocks”. I swear it’s like listening to a CD by The Streets, except funnier…for the most part.
There would have been a time when I considered giving this book an extra credit grade, or five stars for all of you Good Reads and Amazon junkies. However, there are certain unforgivable flaws that keep me from doing so. Try as he might to edit this story down to its last detail, Mr. Davies left behind a few glaring mistakes, such as Becca calling Hugh “Paul” and a sentence that reads “Kent glared at Kent”. But these are things Edward Davies could fix on the fly and not break too much of a sweat.
But then you have the pornographic aspects of the book which make the story seem slightly unrealistic. Yes, it’s realistic in the sense that shyness and awkwardness get in the way of a lot of good relationships. But when I say pornographic aspects, I’m talking about all of the women having large breasts, giant asses, and an easy way to get to know them. Plus, there’s a lot of talk about sticking things in their vaginas and squeezing their titties, which are also things you’d find in a cheap porn movie. Granted, this book is somewhat based on Edward Davies’ past at college and a lot of his friends really did talk like that. But even with that background realness, I’m not sure if I’m supposed to take the book seriously or jack off to it like a Playboy magazine.
I’m not going to bring the hammer down too hard on Edward, because all in all, this book earned all four of its stars. While it is true the two of us are good friends online, I’m giving him the passing grade out of respect for his book, not out of service to our friendship. I firmly believe Edward Davies has what it takes to launch his literature into the mainstream one day. He just needs to spend a little quality time with the realism and grammatical aspects of his manuscript before sending it out. Before I read “The Girlfriend Wager”, I delved into “Divine Intervention”, another book by Mr. Davies. I’d definitely say “The Girlfriend Wager” is a huge improvement from his last effort, so you’re damn right there’s hope for him. Hell, it might be a sure thing that he becomes successful!
AUTHOR: Edward Davies
YEAR: 2015
GENRE: Fiction
SUBGENRE: Sex Drama-Comedy
GRADE: Pass
In 1990’s England, five college buddies, Rob, Kent, Adrian, Jim, and Hugh, get together in a bar one night and make a wager with each other. Whoever could keep a relationship with a girl for at least three months while having sex at least once would have the rest of the group pay for his drinks after the college year was over. Girl shyness, awkward behavior, previous lovers, and many other strange obstacles get in the way of determining a true victor. Hearts are broken, embarrassments happen, and the only escape for these five friends is a giant glass of cold beer. Is anybody really a winner in this story or are these five virgins just a group of sad sops?
I’m going to start with the biggest reason why this e-book gets a passing grade. The concepts of girl shyness, social awkwardness, virginity, and fear of rejection all resonate with me on a deep level. Yes, this is intended to be funny in some places, but that doesn’t stop the book from speaking the truth from time to time. When I went to high school and college, I was one of the wallflowers who stayed in the background while being protected from the emotional despair of romance. Everyone was always saying to me, “Just ask her out! It’s no big deal! If she says no, just move on to the next one!” If love was that easy, I’d have a whole harem of girls coming after me. But as I’ve found out both from my own experiences with dating and from reading this book, it’s complicated on so many levels. I want to love and be loved, but getting my foot in the door is harder for me than it is for the five friends, and that’s saying something.
Before I get too far into a rant, I have to discuss the other reason why this book gets a passing grade: the pacing. While it is true the book is 400-plus pages long, it reads so quickly that you won’t feel bogged down by too much description. Besides, most of the descriptions come from 90’s pop culture references that I actually understand, so the pacing is even better. If you’re an author and comedy is your intended genre, you don’t want to spend too much time on funny descriptions. The jokes were delivered with such rapid-fire wit that I basically blitzed through the entire story with no potholes or traffic lights along the way. It helps that the witty aspects of this book come from the author using a lot of British vernacular like “fancy” and “bullocks”. I swear it’s like listening to a CD by The Streets, except funnier…for the most part.
There would have been a time when I considered giving this book an extra credit grade, or five stars for all of you Good Reads and Amazon junkies. However, there are certain unforgivable flaws that keep me from doing so. Try as he might to edit this story down to its last detail, Mr. Davies left behind a few glaring mistakes, such as Becca calling Hugh “Paul” and a sentence that reads “Kent glared at Kent”. But these are things Edward Davies could fix on the fly and not break too much of a sweat.
But then you have the pornographic aspects of the book which make the story seem slightly unrealistic. Yes, it’s realistic in the sense that shyness and awkwardness get in the way of a lot of good relationships. But when I say pornographic aspects, I’m talking about all of the women having large breasts, giant asses, and an easy way to get to know them. Plus, there’s a lot of talk about sticking things in their vaginas and squeezing their titties, which are also things you’d find in a cheap porn movie. Granted, this book is somewhat based on Edward Davies’ past at college and a lot of his friends really did talk like that. But even with that background realness, I’m not sure if I’m supposed to take the book seriously or jack off to it like a Playboy magazine.
I’m not going to bring the hammer down too hard on Edward, because all in all, this book earned all four of its stars. While it is true the two of us are good friends online, I’m giving him the passing grade out of respect for his book, not out of service to our friendship. I firmly believe Edward Davies has what it takes to launch his literature into the mainstream one day. He just needs to spend a little quality time with the realism and grammatical aspects of his manuscript before sending it out. Before I read “The Girlfriend Wager”, I delved into “Divine Intervention”, another book by Mr. Davies. I’d definitely say “The Girlfriend Wager” is a huge improvement from his last effort, so you’re damn right there’s hope for him. Hell, it might be a sure thing that he becomes successful!
Sunday, October 11, 2015
Spiritual Medicine For Schizophrenics
***SPIRITUAL MEDICINE FOR SCHIZOPHRENICS***
In shamanistic cultures, whenever a fellow tribesperson is feeling depressed, anxious, or otherwise mentally ill, he would go see the medicine man. In order to fulfill his diagnosis, the medicine man would ask the tribesperson how his reaction to music was affected. Did he not feel like dancing? Was he too upset to feel the raw energy? Was his rhythm interrupted? Music was obviously a huge part of shamanistic culture and continues to drive the modern human being in today’s world. Music isn’t just mere entertainment. It’s spiritual medicine for the soul.
But for me personally, as a schizophrenic, my heavy metal music sometimes feels like an obstacle that needs to be conquered instead of spiritual medicine. Sounds backwards, right? Heavy metal legend Max Cavalera says he uses his music as a way to cope with life’s problems, especially the death of his stepson Dana Wells. I’d like very much to have the same attitude as Max, but my brain geography doesn’t allow that to happen. When I’m in the middle of a schizophrenic episode and I’m listening to a metal song, the hurtful voices and images are waiting for me at the song’s intense moments. So instead of getting fired up on guitars and drums, I get a head full of psychological garbage. As someone whose whole creative life is based on heavy metal music, I feel like my own mind is pulling a Clockwork Orange on me.
Music isn’t the only spiritual medicine for mentally ill people such as me. Other everyday activities could qualify as well. I’m currently friends with a Good Reads author named Deepak Charles, who by his own admission uses creative writing as a way of escaping the stressful world around him. Even when he’s mentally and physically exhausted from college assignments, he never misses an opportunity to write, especially when he knows about the therapeutic effects of such. For me personally, schizophrenia interferes with my writing sometimes and like listening to metal songs, writing can feel like an obstacle instead of therapy.
In order for something to qualify as spiritual medicine for my overactive brain, it has to have a certain calming effect and it can’t require a great deal of stress control. As of today, I have three different hobbies that I consider to be spiritual medicine: watching wrestling, drawing pictures, and listening to new age music. Wrestling isn’t the most sophisticated form of entertainment, so it doesn’t require that I max out my mental energies. That’s not a knock on wrestling, that’s just the way my mind works. Drawing a picture of one of my Dark Fantasy Warriors only requires that I have good awareness skills. I use reference pictures all the time for my drawings, so I don’t have to worry about being lost in the dark.
I talk all the time about new age music and how calming and sleep-inducing it is. The reason I continually talk about it is because it is my most important form of spiritual medicine. Heavy metal music is stressful in nature, albeit positive stress that encourages an energetic response. In order for a schizophrenic mind to calm down, the music has to be calm as well. It’s not just elevator music with randomized titles. It means something deep to me. It means that one day I’ll be calm and collected enough to return to what I love: rocking out and writing kick-ass stories. If you ever need a way to calm down, then read this song list I’m about to type out. They’re all new age songs and they’re so peaceful to listen to that they too can be considered spiritual medicine.
“Always Good News” by Bruce Becvar
“Amanda” by Aisha Duo
“Arati” by Rasa
“Bibo No Aozora” by Ryuichi Sakamoto
“The Children’s Garden” by Tingstad and Rumbel
“Cristofori’s Dream” by David Lanz
“Desert Skies” by Scott August
“The Dreams of Children” by Shadowfax
“Heartsteps” by Tim Wheater
“Last Train Home” by Pat Metheny
“Longing/Love” by George Winston
“The Lotus Eaters” by Darshan Ambient
“Mare Residuelle” by Aura5
“Moon Temple” by Karunesh
“Morning Coffee with Grandma” by Donovan Johnson
“On a Bright May Morning” by Loreena McKennitt
“Places in the Heart” by David Arkenstone
“The Room of Ancillary Dreams” by Harold Budd
“Saraswati Dreams” by Ananda and Jaya Lakshmi
“Watermark” by Enya
“Wing and a Prayer” by Mike Stern
“Your Heart Can Sing” by Bruce Becvar
I took each of these songs and made two CD’s out of them for my mother. She loves them. You’ll love them too if you seek them out on You Tube or any other music distributor.
No matter what form of spiritual medicine you choose for yourself, know that you will one day realize what it means to be healed. If you don’t feel like it’s been a perfect recovery, don’t worry, because you’re perfect to me just the way you are. We’ve got ears, say cheers!
***THE GIRLFRIEND WAGER***
If you follow me on Good Reads, you’ll know that in addition to “Silence of the Lambs”, I’ve also been reading “The Girlfriend Wager” by my good friend Edward Davies simultaneously. He did me a solid by reading and honestly reviewing Occupy Wrestling, so now I’m returning the favor by doing the same thing for his sex comedy. I’m 55% done with it and I originally had plans to blitz right through reading the rest of it. Why not? It’s fast-paced, easy to digest, and it’s easy on my eyes. Unfortunately, my plans took a detour when I dumbly decided to watch massage videos on You Tube instead. As much as I need a good massage, “The Girlfriend Wager” needs attention. I read 30 pages of it today, so I can definitely manage the other 45% of the book.
***POISON TONGUE TALES***
As soon as I get back into the writing groove, my next independently-written short story will be “Sage Against the Machine”. Here’s the synopsis for it:
CHARACTERS:
Eli Magruder, Hermit Sage
Caitlin Sparks, Swordfighter
PROMPT CONFORMITY: Did I not just say this will be independently-written?
SYNOPSIS: In an apocalyptic future dominated by authority, Caitlin goes to the mountains to seek advice from Eli on how to combat the oppression. The answers she gets are so unbelievable to her that she considers walking away and trying her own brand of justice. But the more time she allows Eli to speak, the more he makes sense.
***DARK FANTASY WARRIORS***
Since drawing these characters is a secondary form of spiritual medicine, I think I owe the internet a nice picture of Leif Kampmann from the short story “Gates of Hell”. He’s a demon mask-wearing MMA vampire who used to be one of the lead characters to a novel I wrote in 2011 called “World of Darkness: Washington”. That novel met the same fate as every other crappy piece of literature I wrote during that time: it’s gone forever. Now Leif will have new life (see what I did there?) as a lead villain from “Gates of Hell” and in my drawing of him, he’ll be wearing his demon mask.
***LYRICS OF THE DAY***
“A cloud of eiderdown draws around me softening the sound. Sleepy time when I lie with my love by my side and she’s breathing low. And the candle dies. When night comes down, you lock the door. The book falls to the floor. As darkness falls and waves roll by, the seasons change, the wind is warm. Now wakes the owl, now sleeps the swan. Behold a dream, the dream is gone. Green fields, a cold rain is falling in a golden dawn. And deep beneath the ground, the early morning sounds and I go down. Sleepy time when I lie with my love by my side and she’s breathing low. And I rise like a bird in the haze and the first rays touch the sky. And the night winds die.”
-Pink Floyd singing “A Pillow of Winds”-
In shamanistic cultures, whenever a fellow tribesperson is feeling depressed, anxious, or otherwise mentally ill, he would go see the medicine man. In order to fulfill his diagnosis, the medicine man would ask the tribesperson how his reaction to music was affected. Did he not feel like dancing? Was he too upset to feel the raw energy? Was his rhythm interrupted? Music was obviously a huge part of shamanistic culture and continues to drive the modern human being in today’s world. Music isn’t just mere entertainment. It’s spiritual medicine for the soul.
But for me personally, as a schizophrenic, my heavy metal music sometimes feels like an obstacle that needs to be conquered instead of spiritual medicine. Sounds backwards, right? Heavy metal legend Max Cavalera says he uses his music as a way to cope with life’s problems, especially the death of his stepson Dana Wells. I’d like very much to have the same attitude as Max, but my brain geography doesn’t allow that to happen. When I’m in the middle of a schizophrenic episode and I’m listening to a metal song, the hurtful voices and images are waiting for me at the song’s intense moments. So instead of getting fired up on guitars and drums, I get a head full of psychological garbage. As someone whose whole creative life is based on heavy metal music, I feel like my own mind is pulling a Clockwork Orange on me.
Music isn’t the only spiritual medicine for mentally ill people such as me. Other everyday activities could qualify as well. I’m currently friends with a Good Reads author named Deepak Charles, who by his own admission uses creative writing as a way of escaping the stressful world around him. Even when he’s mentally and physically exhausted from college assignments, he never misses an opportunity to write, especially when he knows about the therapeutic effects of such. For me personally, schizophrenia interferes with my writing sometimes and like listening to metal songs, writing can feel like an obstacle instead of therapy.
In order for something to qualify as spiritual medicine for my overactive brain, it has to have a certain calming effect and it can’t require a great deal of stress control. As of today, I have three different hobbies that I consider to be spiritual medicine: watching wrestling, drawing pictures, and listening to new age music. Wrestling isn’t the most sophisticated form of entertainment, so it doesn’t require that I max out my mental energies. That’s not a knock on wrestling, that’s just the way my mind works. Drawing a picture of one of my Dark Fantasy Warriors only requires that I have good awareness skills. I use reference pictures all the time for my drawings, so I don’t have to worry about being lost in the dark.
I talk all the time about new age music and how calming and sleep-inducing it is. The reason I continually talk about it is because it is my most important form of spiritual medicine. Heavy metal music is stressful in nature, albeit positive stress that encourages an energetic response. In order for a schizophrenic mind to calm down, the music has to be calm as well. It’s not just elevator music with randomized titles. It means something deep to me. It means that one day I’ll be calm and collected enough to return to what I love: rocking out and writing kick-ass stories. If you ever need a way to calm down, then read this song list I’m about to type out. They’re all new age songs and they’re so peaceful to listen to that they too can be considered spiritual medicine.
“Always Good News” by Bruce Becvar
“Amanda” by Aisha Duo
“Arati” by Rasa
“Bibo No Aozora” by Ryuichi Sakamoto
“The Children’s Garden” by Tingstad and Rumbel
“Cristofori’s Dream” by David Lanz
“Desert Skies” by Scott August
“The Dreams of Children” by Shadowfax
“Heartsteps” by Tim Wheater
“Last Train Home” by Pat Metheny
“Longing/Love” by George Winston
“The Lotus Eaters” by Darshan Ambient
“Mare Residuelle” by Aura5
“Moon Temple” by Karunesh
“Morning Coffee with Grandma” by Donovan Johnson
“On a Bright May Morning” by Loreena McKennitt
“Places in the Heart” by David Arkenstone
“The Room of Ancillary Dreams” by Harold Budd
“Saraswati Dreams” by Ananda and Jaya Lakshmi
“Watermark” by Enya
“Wing and a Prayer” by Mike Stern
“Your Heart Can Sing” by Bruce Becvar
I took each of these songs and made two CD’s out of them for my mother. She loves them. You’ll love them too if you seek them out on You Tube or any other music distributor.
No matter what form of spiritual medicine you choose for yourself, know that you will one day realize what it means to be healed. If you don’t feel like it’s been a perfect recovery, don’t worry, because you’re perfect to me just the way you are. We’ve got ears, say cheers!
***THE GIRLFRIEND WAGER***
If you follow me on Good Reads, you’ll know that in addition to “Silence of the Lambs”, I’ve also been reading “The Girlfriend Wager” by my good friend Edward Davies simultaneously. He did me a solid by reading and honestly reviewing Occupy Wrestling, so now I’m returning the favor by doing the same thing for his sex comedy. I’m 55% done with it and I originally had plans to blitz right through reading the rest of it. Why not? It’s fast-paced, easy to digest, and it’s easy on my eyes. Unfortunately, my plans took a detour when I dumbly decided to watch massage videos on You Tube instead. As much as I need a good massage, “The Girlfriend Wager” needs attention. I read 30 pages of it today, so I can definitely manage the other 45% of the book.
***POISON TONGUE TALES***
As soon as I get back into the writing groove, my next independently-written short story will be “Sage Against the Machine”. Here’s the synopsis for it:
CHARACTERS:
Eli Magruder, Hermit Sage
Caitlin Sparks, Swordfighter
PROMPT CONFORMITY: Did I not just say this will be independently-written?
SYNOPSIS: In an apocalyptic future dominated by authority, Caitlin goes to the mountains to seek advice from Eli on how to combat the oppression. The answers she gets are so unbelievable to her that she considers walking away and trying her own brand of justice. But the more time she allows Eli to speak, the more he makes sense.
***DARK FANTASY WARRIORS***
Since drawing these characters is a secondary form of spiritual medicine, I think I owe the internet a nice picture of Leif Kampmann from the short story “Gates of Hell”. He’s a demon mask-wearing MMA vampire who used to be one of the lead characters to a novel I wrote in 2011 called “World of Darkness: Washington”. That novel met the same fate as every other crappy piece of literature I wrote during that time: it’s gone forever. Now Leif will have new life (see what I did there?) as a lead villain from “Gates of Hell” and in my drawing of him, he’ll be wearing his demon mask.
***LYRICS OF THE DAY***
“A cloud of eiderdown draws around me softening the sound. Sleepy time when I lie with my love by my side and she’s breathing low. And the candle dies. When night comes down, you lock the door. The book falls to the floor. As darkness falls and waves roll by, the seasons change, the wind is warm. Now wakes the owl, now sleeps the swan. Behold a dream, the dream is gone. Green fields, a cold rain is falling in a golden dawn. And deep beneath the ground, the early morning sounds and I go down. Sleepy time when I lie with my love by my side and she’s breathing low. And I rise like a bird in the haze and the first rays touch the sky. And the night winds die.”
-Pink Floyd singing “A Pillow of Winds”-
Monday, August 31, 2015
Pet Names
***PET NAMES***
When going to the Humane Society to adopt a pet, there are certain things a future animal owner looks for. Sometimes age plays a factor. Species is another important one. Friendliness with other animals is a must. But did you ever figure that an animal’s given name would have any effect on his or her adoptability? Because most of the animals are taken from the streets, they don’t already have names assigned to them. Therefore, the Humane Society does that for them. Some of the names are cute and cuddly (Oswald, Ozzy, Tori, and Sitka can all attest to that). And then there are names which are so fucking weird that nobody bothers to adopt that animal. It’s sad and unfortunate, but it’s true. Would anybody adopt a kitty named Boompsa? Admiral Akbar? Sniper? Killer? What the fuck, man? So in this journal, I’m going to give you all ideas for pet names that aren’t too fruity or too weird. They’re just right and if they don’t feel right yet, you’ll get used to them over time. Starting with….
MALE:
Adam
Albert
Angelo
Barry
Biggie
Billy
Blake
Bo
Bray
Buddy
Caesar
Calvin
Chuck
Clay
Connor
Cooper
Dallas
Damien
Danny
Diego
Drake
Duncan
Dusty
Eddy
Finn
Frankie
Fred
George
Gerald
Henry
Howie
Jack
Jake
Jerry
Jimmy
Joey
Josh
Kingston
Larry
Louie
Luke
Mac
Marty
Mickey
Mojo
Monty
Nacho
Neville
Norman
Oscar
Owen
Pete
Randy
Ricky
Rocky
Sammy
Scotty
Seamus
Shadow
Simon
Sunny
Sylvester
Thomas
Titus
Tony
Tucker
Tyler
Victor
Woody
Wyatt
FEMALE:
Bailey
Becky
Bella
Brie
Cammy
Carmella
Charlie
Cherry
Cookie
Emma
Eva
Harper
Hattie
Jasmine
Jeanie
Jordan
Kelly
Lana
Lexi
Lilly
Marie
Mattie
Murphy
Naomi
Natalie
Nikki
Paige
Patty
Riley
Rosie
Sasha
Summer
We’ve got ears, say cheers!
***UPDATED CREATIVE TASK LIST***
EDITING TIMELINE:
September 1stt: Teach Me Passion, Twice the Cuteness, Walkabout
September 2nd: War Is My Destiny, Wendell Backland, Wishes in the Night
September 3rd: Wrestle Maniac, Format E-Book, Replace Old Copies with New One
READING PRIORITIES:
“The Girlfriend Wager” by Edward Davies
“So…I Met a Vampire” by Paul McAvoy
Weekly Short Story Contest and Company: “Flea Market”
“YES!” by Daniel Bryan
WRITING PRIORITIES:
Blood Brawl: “Chapter 2”
Character Profile: “Cain Lockhart”
Movie or TV Show Review: “Dennis the Menace”
***PROVERB OF THE DAY***
“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”
When going to the Humane Society to adopt a pet, there are certain things a future animal owner looks for. Sometimes age plays a factor. Species is another important one. Friendliness with other animals is a must. But did you ever figure that an animal’s given name would have any effect on his or her adoptability? Because most of the animals are taken from the streets, they don’t already have names assigned to them. Therefore, the Humane Society does that for them. Some of the names are cute and cuddly (Oswald, Ozzy, Tori, and Sitka can all attest to that). And then there are names which are so fucking weird that nobody bothers to adopt that animal. It’s sad and unfortunate, but it’s true. Would anybody adopt a kitty named Boompsa? Admiral Akbar? Sniper? Killer? What the fuck, man? So in this journal, I’m going to give you all ideas for pet names that aren’t too fruity or too weird. They’re just right and if they don’t feel right yet, you’ll get used to them over time. Starting with….
MALE:
Adam
Albert
Angelo
Barry
Biggie
Billy
Blake
Bo
Bray
Buddy
Caesar
Calvin
Chuck
Clay
Connor
Cooper
Dallas
Damien
Danny
Diego
Drake
Duncan
Dusty
Eddy
Finn
Frankie
Fred
George
Gerald
Henry
Howie
Jack
Jake
Jerry
Jimmy
Joey
Josh
Kingston
Larry
Louie
Luke
Mac
Marty
Mickey
Mojo
Monty
Nacho
Neville
Norman
Oscar
Owen
Pete
Randy
Ricky
Rocky
Sammy
Scotty
Seamus
Shadow
Simon
Sunny
Sylvester
Thomas
Titus
Tony
Tucker
Tyler
Victor
Woody
Wyatt
FEMALE:
Bailey
Becky
Bella
Brie
Cammy
Carmella
Charlie
Cherry
Cookie
Emma
Eva
Harper
Hattie
Jasmine
Jeanie
Jordan
Kelly
Lana
Lexi
Lilly
Marie
Mattie
Murphy
Naomi
Natalie
Nikki
Paige
Patty
Riley
Rosie
Sasha
Summer
We’ve got ears, say cheers!
***UPDATED CREATIVE TASK LIST***
EDITING TIMELINE:
September 1stt: Teach Me Passion, Twice the Cuteness, Walkabout
September 2nd: War Is My Destiny, Wendell Backland, Wishes in the Night
September 3rd: Wrestle Maniac, Format E-Book, Replace Old Copies with New One
READING PRIORITIES:
“The Girlfriend Wager” by Edward Davies
“So…I Met a Vampire” by Paul McAvoy
Weekly Short Story Contest and Company: “Flea Market”
“YES!” by Daniel Bryan
WRITING PRIORITIES:
Blood Brawl: “Chapter 2”
Character Profile: “Cain Lockhart”
Movie or TV Show Review: “Dennis the Menace”
***PROVERB OF THE DAY***
“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”
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