Mario and Luigi

 

Circus Seal

VERSE 1

Whether I’m eating dinner with my family

Or on the brink of schizophrenic insanity

Or taking a shit in a public bathroom stall

Or watching a movie that makes me bawl

You must have my attention here and now

It doesn’t matter when, doesn’t matter how

An autograph or a private performance

Neither, pal, now go fuck off into orbit

CHORUS

I’m not your circus seal

You don’t care how I feel

Private time is not yours to steal

I’m not your circus seal

VERSE 2

It’s not that I hate my own loyal fan base

It’s just that this is neither the time nor place

I need my moments of peace and quiet

If I turn you away, don’t start a city-wide riot

Don’t post my dirty laundry on the internet

My private and public lives do not intersect

Nothing personal, I just want to unwind

In a place where nobody will ever find

CHORUS

I’m not your circus seal

You don’t care how I feel

Private time is not yours to steal

I’m not your circus seal

VERSE 3

You buy my products, but you’re not my boss

If you despise me, it’s your own damn loss

You don’t own me like a hand puppet master

Threatening me will only make me walk faster

EXTENDED CHORUS

I’m not your circus seal

You don’t care how I feel

Private time is not yours to steal

I’m not your circus seal

I’m not your favorite bitch

You don’t make me rich

I don’t owe you shit

I’m not your favorite bitch

Lucha Mexico

MOVIE TITLE: Lucha Mexico

DIRECTORS: Alex Hammond and Ian Markiewicz

YEAR: 2016

GENRE: Pro-Wrestling Documentary

RATING: Unrated, though it contains bloody violence and language

GRADE: Pass

Mexico has always been plagued with poverty, crime, and corrupt politics. The one escape from the country’s negative features has always been Lucha Libre, a high-flying, mask-wearing style of professional wrestling. This documentary takes you behind the scenes of Mexican wrestling from the torturous training to the violently entertaining matches to the dire personal lives of the luchadors. Lucha Libre has a rich history and a colorful culture, but it’s also a business that requires a great deal of toughness in order to survive. Some luchadors become popular and draw in a lot of money. Most of them don’t and they suffer in obscurity. The raw honesty of this filmmaking style is one of this movie’s most prominent features.

The audience can easily get a rich education from watching Lucha Mexico. They can learn how a luchador’s mask can protect private lives and give personality and flavor to the wrestlers wearing them. They can learn the huge differences between Mexican wrestling, which is all about the high flying action, and American wrestling, which is monologue-heavy and slower-paced. They can learn about the risks and rewards of embarking on a professional wrestling career whether it’s getting an injury or becoming wildly popular. By the end of this movie, the viewers will gain a great deal of respect and appreciation for what these athletes have to go through on a day to day basis. The movie will create new wrestling fans and it will rekindle the fire within those already converted. It’s not just “man drama” as UFC commentator Joe Rogan once stupidly called it. It’s a passionate form of entertainment.

Speaking of entertainment, if you want to see delicious and action-packed violence, Lucha Mexico is happy to oblige. Sure, the wrestling matches are in short snippets, but there’s just enough content where the audience can enjoy back flips, slams, top rope dives, and most brutal of all, bloodletting. Yes, from time to time, they actually do hardcore style, which if you’re not a wrestling fan means the luchadors are allowed to use weapons and they will make each other bleed nearly to death for the crowd’s entertainment. No matter what kind of match is taking place, you will either wince in pain or you’ll be on the edge of your seat in anticipation for the big finish. That’s what wrestling is all about: creative storytelling and violent choreography. Again, Joe Rogan, it’s not “man drama”, you fool.

As long as I’m dragging Mr. Rogan’s name through the mud, there’s another thing this movie is good for: debating. The kind of debating I’m talking about is between Mexican and American styles of wrestling. Since Mexican wrestling is more action-oriented, you don’t get a lot of the bigoted promos that American wrestling has been known for over the past two decades. Meanwhile, some American wrestling fans would argue that all villain heat is the same and promos build up more tension between the two battling wrestlers. Both sides of the fence have good points to make and I’m not going to list all of them in this review, because I want my readers to make up their own minds. They can do that when they watch Lucha Mexico since they’re not overly preachy or pushy. It’s just raw, honest filmmaking, that’s all.

In this movie there’s something for everybody, which includes complete laymen. Lucha Mexico will either be a rich educational journey, more pride in being a wrestling fan, or both at the same time. Nobody is walking away from this movie unaffected. If you’re still feeling neutral after all is said and done, you probably sleep in an underground coffin at night. Or you’re Joe Rogan, one of the two. Or maybe you’re both, I don’t know. I give this movie a passing grade for giving my inner wrestling geek a reason to do more back flips and cartwheels than the luchadors themselves. Excellent work! 

"A Naughty New Year's Eve" by Marie Krepps

BOOK TITLE: A Naughty New Year’s Eve
AUTHOR: Marie Krepps
YEAR: 2015
GENRE: Fictional Short Story
SUBGENRE: Vampire Erotica
GRADE: Pass


If you’re a reader of Marie Krepps’ “Some By Day, Some By Night” series, you’ve probably had this fantasy at least five or six times: the curvy Marla and the supermodel Morgan getting it on. Not only will Ms. Krepps’ short story make your wildest fantasies come true, it’ll make them last for as long as it takes you to climax. Forget the bed of roses, the sugary chocolates, and the silly cheese balls. No formalities here, just good old fashioned love-making between two of the sexiest vampires in the world of literature today. These two have had enough violence and war to last them an eternity as vampires. Let them have a little fun every once and a while!

As someone who reads Marie Krepps’ work on a frequent basis, I know firsthand that she doesn’t fool around when it comes to the sex scenes. Her characters will lick, kiss, suck, and squeeze every inch of each other’s bodies before the story really begins to earn its X-rating with the rough penetration and the endless passion. It should come as no surprise that this woman once had a book of short stories called Box of Chocolates. Trust me when I say, reading this short story will be a more orgasmic experience than swallowing the entire Hershey’s Chocolate factory and chasing it with a Twix bar. And by the way, left Twix and right Twix bars are the same damn thing, so go ahead and pull out your packing tape…but only if Marla and Morgan are the ones doing the binding. Hehe!

On a less perverted note, Marie isn’t just writing short story after short story: she’s building an entire world for these vampires to live in. The entire series of vampire erotica novels and stories is called “Some By Day, Some By Night”. This sexy adventure could be considered a vacation from the bloodshed, gore, and heartache the other stories bring about (not that those things are bad, but we all need a little hot action every once and a while). It’s a reminder just to relax and have fun with your life instead of taking everything too seriously all the time. I could learn to enjoy that message.

One last thing and then I’ll leave you all to your sexily fun reading adventure. In case you guys weren’t aware, Marie has been my personal mentor since the beginning of 2015. As a mentor, she always encourages me to show instead of tell. In other words, don’t tell us that Mitch McLeod is angry, show us his intense body language. In the case of Marie’s short story “A Naughty New Year’s Eve”, she practices what she preaches, and that’s what makes the sexy action so hot and boner-worthy to begin with. We can see with our own eyes what these two horny young ladies are doing to each other. The more we see, the more energetic we become.

Marie is an independent author through and through, but she writes like a pro and speaks like a badass. Every passing and extra credit grade I’ve given to her was earned through hard work and sagely wisdom. I’d like to think it takes a great deal of wisdom to be a writer and a mentor. If that’s the case, then I’m proud to be learning from the best. A passing grade will be assigned to this ultra-steamy sex story. She knocked it out of the park yet again!