David Draiman Doesn't Know What Anti-Semitism Is, So Someone Should Explain It to Him...Slowly

 

Dolly Parton (Rest in Peace) vs. Bridget Ziegler: Moms For Liberty Is an Oxymoronic Name Considering What They Do

 

Giorgia Meloni: Because the Italian Government Has No Jurisdiction Over American Crimes

 

Commander Orpheus Rinehart, Far-Right Mercenary from "Savage Beatings" and "Beautiful Monster"

 

Jimmy Fallon Has a Very Special Guest Tonight...

 

Jesse Young: Another Right-Wing Loser from Washington State

 

Mike Sempervive from F4WOnline vs. Drake Wuertz from Parts Unknown...and Let's Keep it That Way

 

Suris vs. Katie Hopkins: Hot Crowd

 

Kamala Harris vs. Alex Jones: "Sleeping Your Way to the Top" Is Better Than Plummeting Hard to the Bottom

 

Price Tag

CHORUS

Everything you do has a price tag on it

Unlimited freedom? I don’t care if you want it

You step on my neck, I’ll step on yours

Bootlicking gets you nowhere, you’ll always be poor

 

VERSE 1

Far-right minority, what the fuck gives?

What’s it like to have black skin and white privilege?

Enjoy it while it lasts, it can be taken away

By the same guys who think you’re whole culture is gay

The G-word’s a pejorative in their itty-bitty world

They can’t see a spectrum beyond boy and girl

When you and your family are next on the cross

Try kissing more ass, on the advice of your boss

 

CHORUS

Everything you do has a price tag on it

Unlimited freedom? I don’t care if you want it

You step on my neck, I’ll step on yours

Bootlicking gets you nowhere, you’ll always be poor

 

VERSE 2

You work in construction while they’re plotting your destruction

You crack a bigoted joke and expect an induction

Into the Hall of Fame or the Millionaire’s Club

Trying hard to be a dom, but you’re always a sub

Isolate inside a bubble of your own creation

Thinking it’ll shield you from public damnation

Never mind being late to your own Over Party

You’re late to your own trial, too late to say sorry

 

CHORUS

Everything you do has a price tag on it

Unlimited freedom? I don’t care if you want it

You step on my neck, I’ll step on yours

Bootlicking gets you nowhere, you’ll always be poor

 

VERSE 3

So what if you make a million dollars or more?

You’ll waste it on gold chains, diamond rings, and whores

Oops, I meant you when I said the big W

‘Cause it ain’t sex workers who want to cuddle you

Your favorite rich bitch won’t want to do it either

Even if you call your own minority “useless eaters”

You can throw the Sig Heil at any time of the day

Doesn’t change the fact that you’re wasting away

Yeah, I called it a fact, it don’t care about your feelings

Don’t like your own medicine? Don’t rush the healing

Your parasocial followers are in a marriage of convenience

They’ll leave you when they see that you’re a fraud, not a genius

Katie Miller: Provider of Workers and Soldiers for Our Capitalist Society

 

Roy Moore Should Be No More

 

This one's obviously more serious than the others I've drawn. Darker, too.

Simon & Garfunkel vs. Erika Kirk: It's the Shooter's Fault...for Being Named Robinson

 

And Now a Word From Our Sponsor...

 

David Hogg vs. Michelle Malkin: What Is a School Shooting?

 

Parkrose Permaculture vs. Richard Spencer: German-on-German Crime

 

Galatea & Acis vs. Nick Fuentes: Male Feminists Don't Seem So Bad After All, Do They?

 

"Male feminists just want to get laid!" So do incels and groypers. Nick Fuentes fans will go to some...extreme measures to achieve their goals. You know damn well what I mean.

Mac Lethal (Pass the Ammo) vs. Laura Loomer (Pass the Gas)

 

The Friars Club

 

Yes, I know the Friars Club is defunct now, but if they ever get revived, Benny boy would make a hell of a roasting victim. He loves being the victim. It's not second nature to him. It's first!

Kyle Rittenhouse vs. Tyler Robinson: Double KO!