Eric Clapton, Who Doesn't Look "Wonderful Tonight" or Any Other Night For That Matter

 

Stephanie Vaquer from WWE vs. Aaron Lewis from Staind: Low-Stakes Flirtation Lost in Translation

 

"Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk! Hey, Garrison! Why does Aaron Lewis look like Joe Rogan?"

Must you ask?

Richie Incognito: a Crybully Who Believes That Real Men Don't Cry...Which Means He's Ratting On Himself

 

Dana Loesch: She Shoots from the Hip...at Unarmed Black People

 

Rob Schneider: a Conservative Comedian Who's About as Funny as a Heart Attack

 

Lou Dweebs, I Mean, Lou Dobbs: Honorary ICE Agent

 

It's about damn time I brought back the garish color humiliation. Rest in Piss, Lou Dweebs.

Parkrose Permaculture vs. Richard Spencer: German-on-German Crime

 

Arne Lindemann: Abusive Psych Ward Orderly from "My Favorite Magazine"

 

The Pinnacle of Human Beauty

 

Peter Griffin vs. a Kyle Rittenhouse Pistol Polisher (Based on a Real Conversation)

 

Clarence Thomas X the Tattooed Racist from "Tales from the Hood" (Rest in Peace, Rick Dean)

 

Tom Man Ho, I mean, Tom Homan

 

I'll get his name right eventually, maybe when he starts getting the names right of the people he deports. I hear his Spanish sucks.

Dean Cain a.k.a. Ironic Superman

 

Jade Cargill vs. George Zimmerman

 

EDIT: I just did a reverse image search on Google and the AI summary first said that Jade Cargill had a cake recipe, then the second time I reverse searched it, the AI said it's a "highly offensive" cartoon that "promotes violence". She's a wrestler, numb nuts! Violence is what she does for a living! It's scripted violence, but it's still violence! I'm more offended at George Zimmerman killing an innocent black kid than I am at Jade Cargill doing wrestling moves! Jesus!

Edwin Starr vs. The Gimp, I mean, Your Average ICE Agent

 

Ray Stuckey from Mississippi Burning vs. Kash Patel, Kristi Noem, and Eric Adams

 

I used to think I was just having fun with acronyms here, but this has taken on a bigger meaning. White conservatives don't respect minorities within their own party. Sheriff Stuckey is a closeted member of the KKK, so he's not going to give two shits and a flying fuck about an Indian FBI agent, a female DHS agent, or a black NYPD cop. Bootlicking gets you nowhere in life.

Vince McMahon

 

Tom MacDonald

 

Serj Tankian from System of a Down vs. Kid Rock

 

Phanto vs. Nick Sandmann

 

He can't sue me, because I'm taking advantage of my free speech rights. Suck it up, churchie!