Ripley Verdugo (The Shield) vs. Todd Blanche (Department of Justice (LOL)): Hey, at Least He's Cooperating!

 

Tim Walz: Governator of Minnesota

 

Edwin Starr vs. The Gimp, I mean, Your Average ICE Agent

 

"The Cat Who Talked to Ghosts" by Lilian Jackson Braun

BOOK TITLE: The Cat Who Talked to Ghosts

AUTHOR: Lilian Jackson Braun

YEAR: 1990

GENRE: Fiction

SUBGENRE: Cozy Mystery

GRADE: Pass

After a series of mysterious events cause a museum owner named Iris Cobb to have a heart attack, Jim “Qwill” Qwilleran and his two Siamese cats Koko and Yum-Yum move into the office to try to solve her indirect murder. As the mystery progresses, Qwill uncovers a conspiracy almost a century in the making that involves a lynching of a mine tycoon that could be interpreted as either suicide or murder depending on who’s talking. The two deaths don’t seem connected at first, but Qwill begins to wonder as he digs deeper. In between tracking clues and interviewing suspects and witnesses, Qwill likes to unwind by having dinner at fancy restaurants with his friends and snuggling up to his Siamese kitties. Downtime is the detective’s best friend.

I’ve been a fan of Lilian Jackson Braun for a long time. Having said that, I’ve never noticed until after reading this book how much she tends to tell instead of show. All this time, I’ve modeled my own writing style off of someone with an almost minimalist approach to descriptive writing. However, what’s stopping me from giving this book a mixed grade instead of a passing one is the fact that the writing style was by design. These “Cat Who” books are considered light reading and easy on the eyes with a smooth pace. Sometimes descriptive language has to be sacrificed to achieve such mellow reading. I can accept that. Therefore, this paragraph isn’t really a criticism, because I enjoy a relaxing book every now and then.

The mystery in this book is one that is well constructed, probably the best one I’ve read in the “Cat Who” series so far. Though this is mostly a G-rated mystery, the deaths and violence that do take place will leave a lasting impression and will give a greater urgency for the crimes to be solved. This isn’t about fingerprint taking and crime lab work. This is about researching a conspiracy that goes back to the early 1900’s and how it connects with the mystery of the present time. Without the extensive interviews and reading, this case probably would have gotten cold. While I won’t give away the results of the mystery, I will tell you that you can expect some serious homework to be done on the part of Qwill.

And of course, what would a “Cat Who” mystery be without, you guessed it, kitties? Koko is such an inquisitive little feline who always plays a pivotal role in solving even the coldest of crimes. Yum Yum is a cutie pie who loves to roll around and play with everyone. Qwill’s girlfriend, Polly Duncan, even has a tiny little ball of fur named Bootsie, who has more energy in one leap than athletic runners have in a whole sprint. There’s even a scene where Bootsie digs his claws so deep into Qwill’s back that he needs help prying the little guy off. But at the end of the day, all three kitties are worthy of eating a well-cooked meatloaf, turkey sandwich, ribeye steak, or whatever Qwill happens to bring home from his favorite restaurants.

Another Lilian Jackson Braun mystery is in the books, pun definitely intended. We’ve got a smooth, gentle pace, smooth, gentle kitties, and a main character with a smooth, gentle disposition (even during moments of grumpiness). If you want something light to read that won’t put too much strain on your eyeballs, I suggest grabbing a copy of “The Cat Who Talked to Ghosts”. Relax in your favorite easy chair, grab a kitty, and start reading!

"A Million Little Pieces" by James Frey

If you were to take a good look at James Frey’s body, you’d assume that he exercises a lot. According to his loudest critics, the only exercises he does are stretching the truth and jumping to conclusions. Imagine that: a former drug addict exaggerates details of his memoir. Who would’ve thunk it? Truth is, I could care less if “A Million Little Pieces” is a true story or not, because it’s still a beautifully depressing book with a quick writing style.

If you really want to use the “fake” argument against me, then I’m going to tell you the same thing I tell people who say that professional wrestling is fake. I’m going to say, “Hey, Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings are fake and I don’t hear you bitching about them. I don’t hear you complaining about The Flintstones not being a documentary.”

Whether this particular book is fact or fiction is irrelevant, because if you enjoy reading heartbreaking memoirs that are also triumphant, you’ll love “A Million Little Pieces”. It doesn’t even read like a typical memoir with linear progression. It actually reads like a novel with a beginning, middle, and end. It also has likable and three-dimensional characters. The writing style is present tense and takes a lot of liberties with the exclusion of quotation marks and other forms of punctuation, but that’s what makes it an exciting read in the first place.

If I have to keep on driving home the point that this is a dark and depressing memoir, then consider this paragraph to be the final nail in that coffin. James Frey starts the story with him waking up on an airplane with a broken nose and missing teeth, both of which were aggravated from his lifelong addictions to alcohol and drugs. He’s being taken to a clinic in Minnesota to be treated for these addictions, because if he uses again, he will die, no ifs ands or buts.

Life in a drug rehab center isn’t a whole lot of fun in case you couldn’t tell. There are people in constant pain from detoxing, there are people vomiting, there are people acting hostile and crazy, none of these things unlike what James Frey used to be before the story’s end. How does one combat all of these things for six weeks and come out smelling like roses? Mr. Frey doesn’t want to do it through God or a higher power of any kind. If you want to see how he triumphs through all the darkness and depression, you’ll have to read this book.

If you’re still complaining about how James Frey is a “phony” and a “fraud”, then you just go ahead and do all the drugs you want until you become an addict. We’ll see if your story is any different from Mr. Frey’s.

　

***TELEVISION DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***

DEEKS: Let’s go for a beer.

GRANGER: To drink or to post on Face Book?

-NCIS: Los Angeles-