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Bipolar Rock n' Roller

MOVIE TITLE: Bipolar Rock n’ Roller

DIRECTOR: Haris Usanovic

YEAR: 2018

GENRE: Sports Documentary

RATING: TV-MA for language

GRADE: Extra Credit

Canadian farm boy Mauro Ranallo wanted to be a sports announcer since he was just a little kid. With unlimited energy and an infectious attitude, he was a perfect fit from an early age. However, the stresses of fame along with the death of his best friend Michael caused him to have a breakdown when he was nineteen years old. He was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder, a mental illness that hospitalized him eight times over his lifespan. He still tried to maintain an announcing career despite his ups and downs. In today’s world he is a much-appreciated part of WWE NXT’s commentary team. The Wrestling Observer Newsletter has awarded him Best Television Announcer from 2015 through 2017 and it’s easy to understand why: his passion is genuine and his energy is unstoppable.

You don’t have to be a sports junkie in order to appreciate Mauro Ranallo’s struggles. Bipolar disorder and mental illness in general is a life sentence for all it affects. Even with medication, exercise, therapy, and doing all the right things, you can still have high days and low days. Some days you feel like you can take on the world and other days you just want to stay in bed and never wake up again. Watching Mauro have a depressive episode where he cries is heartbreaking. You feel for this man. You want him to get better. You want him to live the life he’s always wanted to live. Every failure and every rock bottom moment will hit you hard. If it doesn’t, you need to have your pulse checked. My brother and I both suffer from mental illnesses and Mauro’s episodes are all too familiar, whether it’s the tiredness, the crying, or the suicidal thoughts. Nobody wants to see Mauro Ranallo commit suicide, but he came very close to doing so on several occasions.

But on the other side of his long and exhausting journey is a light at the end of the tunnel. By virtue of conquering his demons and doing what he loves most for a living, Mauro Ranallo is an inspiration to us all. If he can follow his passions, the rest of us can too. If he can open up about his struggles, we all should be taking notes. He reminds us over and over again that people with mental illness are not alone in this world. We’re not crazy. We’re not stereotypes. We’re living, breathing human beings and three-dimensional characters. If we have to do art therapy to get through our days, then so be it. If we have to take medication, it has to be done. If we have to find a place to live where marijuana is legal, by all means, go for it. If you can see tomorrow, you must be doing something right.

Mauro Ranallo was not a perfect human being growing up. His behavior made a lot of people angry from coworkers to family members to his ex-girlfriend. But hearing his story from beginning to end gives humanity to all the “crazy” behavior. I love three-dimensional people. I love it when the ordinary becomes the extraordinary. I love it when the underdog can conquer it all, which is really what sports like MMA and pro-wrestling are all about, really. For those reasons, Bipolar Rock n’ Roller gets an extra credit grade. We love you, Mauro. Don’t ever doubt yourself again.

Milk Bottle Supermodel

VERSE 1

You have no reason to bitch and complain

Yet you still do it whenever you want fame

The body of a model and the face of an angel

Taking bloody shots from a sniper’s angle

You can call it bratty, you can call it entitled

But evil bitchiness is where it will be filed

History is not on your side and you know it

Try to fight it and you’re just going to blow it

CHORUS

Milk! Bottle! Super! Model! X4

VERSE 2

You’re a disgrace to your whole generation

You’re not even worth quick masturbation

You can’t get ratings for your own station

You can’t convince the entire fucking nation

That you’re more than a fireball of rage

That you’re more than a puppet on stage

That you’re better than the minimum wage

That you’re wise beyond your millennial age

CHORUS

Milk! Bottle! Super! Model! X4

VERSE 3

We see right through your tainted beauty

What we see makes us pissed and moody

A demonic soul with a heart full of holes

A hellish dwelling stacked high with coals

You could blame your parents or yourself

The way you think isn’t good for your health

Devils in one ear, drill sergeants in the other

We’re stronger than the fools you try to smother

CHORUS

Milk! Bottle! Super! Model! X4

FINAL BRIDGE

You can call it privilege, you can call it promise

You can call it ego, you can call it solace

No matter the words that you choose

You know in your heart you’re going to lose!