Showing posts with label White Guy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label White Guy. Show all posts
Thursday, May 28, 2026
Saturday, May 2, 2026
Stephanie Vaquer from WWE vs. Aaron Lewis from Staind: Low-Stakes Flirtation Lost in Translation
"Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk! Hey, Garrison! Why does Aaron Lewis look like Joe Rogan?"
Must you ask?
Tuesday, January 6, 2026
Zach de la Rocha (Rage Against the Machine) vs. Danny Case (From Ashes to New)
A-beep, a-beep, a-beep, that's all, folks! Any cartoons I post going forward will be freshly drawn.
Monday, September 2, 2019
Steroid Smoothie
VERSE 1
Bench a thousand pounds like it’s nothing
Scream like you’re on the edge of coming
Squat a million pounds like a so-called beast
Fifty reps, maybe a hundred at the least
When Joe Six-Pack breaks his damn back
You blame everything on people who’re fat
Then you inject your juice by the liter
Strut around in a too tight wife-beater
CHORUS 1
Steroid smoothie!
It’s the key to your success
Steroid smoothie!
Puff your bitch tits chest
VERSE 2
Muscles so big you can’t fit through the door
Isn’t this what you pick on fat people for?
You’re a douchey white guy who tries too hard
One of these days, your ass can go back to lard
A lethal injection of your favorite PED’s
You think you’re more explosive than TNT
If you’re talking about your liver and heart
Congratulations, you’ve got yourself a head start
CHORUS 2
Steroid smoothie!
Gargantuan muscles, Tic-Tac balls
Steroid smoothie!
Two-inch penis, heart attack trust fall
VERSE 3
Looking good on your Instagram page
You should nickname yourself Roy Rage
You’re an inspiration to only yourself
Who cares if you put your body through hell?
I’d rather eat a steak than make the mistake
Of injecting juice and watching my limbs break
You’re not a fitness guru, you’re a piece of shit
Sit on a Shake Weight and then go for a spin
CHORUS 3
Steroid smoothie!
You’re faker than the president’s hair
Steroid smoothie!
Look into your empty soul if you dare
Steroid smoothie!
Your career is based on shallow lies
Steroid smoothie!
Excuse me while I wolf on these fries
Friday, May 17, 2019
Manic Pixie Dream Girl
CHORUS
No drought in my eyes, it’s no surprise
She’s a favorite of all the guys
She’s a manic pixie dream girl
Manic pixie dream
Breaking my heart when we’re apart
She’s ready for a brand new start
She’s a manic pixie dream girl
Manic pixie dream
VERSE 1
She’s got the cure for all your blues
Skips to your house in leather shoes
Rocks out to Cobain and Chester
Cradles you until you feel all better
Every white guy’s favorite fantasy
That doesn’t involve some Vaseline
Wouldn’t ruin her with disrespect
But you’ve got some love to inject
CHORUS
No drought in my eyes, it’s no surprise
She’s a favorite of all the guys
She’s a manic pixie dream girl
Manic pixie dream
Breaking my heart when we’re apart
She’s ready for a brand new start
She’s a manic pixie dream girl
Manic pixie dream
VERSE 2
You can be a wallflower or a football stud
Don’t drag your own name through the mud
By moving things too fast and too furious
Even though her mystique leaves you curious
Admire her beauty from a faraway location
Being a dreamer is your only true vocation
At the same time, don’t let her get away
Take her out dancing on the rainiest days
BRIDGE
Poetry is the language of the soul
Makes your heart spin out of control
Classic literature is music to the mind
Your pixie dream girl is what you find
CHORUS
No drought in my eyes, it’s no surprise
She’s a favorite of all the guys
She’s a manic pixie dream girl
Manic pixie dream
Breaking my heart when we’re apart
She’s ready for a brand new start
She’s a manic pixie dream girl
Manic pixie dream
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