My Name Is Starship Cobain

VERSE 1

My name is Starship Cobain and I’m from Washington State

The capitalist kiss of death is something I fucking hate

Lost my job at the Amazon warehouse, tossed out like trash

Now I live check-to-check by slaving away for Door Dash

I can deal with my pain with a roll of medical Mary-Jane

I’d smoke that shit regardless of what the lawmakers say

It’s as legal as whoring yourself out in the city of Las Vegas

Until the feds catch you with your pants down playing Sega

VERSE 2

My name is Starship Cobain and I’m from Port Orchard

They should really think about changing the name to Poor Tortured

Everybody’s got a truck and they all voted for Trump

They got the bumper stickers to prove it and the sense of a tree stump

Everybody’s transmission sounds like a smoker’s cough

If you turned it up to eleven and exploded their heads off

Not much to do here but sit in line at the Burger King

And order a hundred whoppers with a tank of onion rings

VERSE 3

My name is Starship Cobain, let’s all go to Seattle

And pray we don’t get caught up in a gangster gun battle

All I want out of this city is a show with Pop Evil

Fuck around in the mosh pit with some drunk ass people

I miss the days of Nirvana and that whole damn scene

A generation depressed when Kurt blew his head off clean

There were many imitators, but none of them could compare

To the gravelly voice that made your hair stand in the air

VERSE 4

My name is Starship Cobain, what does that even mean?

Hell if I know, it probably came to me in a dream

Or maybe it was chosen by my schizophrenic voices

Because from here on out, they’ll always make my choices

Manic Pixie Dream Girl

CHORUS

No drought in my eyes, it’s no surprise

She’s a favorite of all the guys

She’s a manic pixie dream girl

Manic pixie dream

Breaking my heart when we’re apart

She’s ready for a brand new start

She’s a manic pixie dream girl

Manic pixie dream

VERSE 1

She’s got the cure for all your blues

Skips to your house in leather shoes

Rocks out to Cobain and Chester

Cradles you until you feel all better

Every white guy’s favorite fantasy

That doesn’t involve some Vaseline

Wouldn’t ruin her with disrespect

But you’ve got some love to inject

CHORUS

No drought in my eyes, it’s no surprise

She’s a favorite of all the guys

She’s a manic pixie dream girl

Manic pixie dream

Breaking my heart when we’re apart

She’s ready for a brand new start

She’s a manic pixie dream girl

Manic pixie dream

VERSE 2

You can be a wallflower or a football stud

Don’t drag your own name through the mud

By moving things too fast and too furious

Even though her mystique leaves you curious

Admire her beauty from a faraway location

Being a dreamer is your only true vocation

At the same time, don’t let her get away

Take her out dancing on the rainiest days

BRIDGE

Poetry is the language of the soul

Makes your heart spin out of control

Classic literature is music to the mind

Your pixie dream girl is what you find

CHORUS

No drought in my eyes, it’s no surprise

She’s a favorite of all the guys

She’s a manic pixie dream girl

Manic pixie dream

Breaking my heart when we’re apart

She’s ready for a brand new start

She’s a manic pixie dream girl

Manic pixie dream

"Preacher, Vol. 4" by Garth Ennis

BOOK TITLE: Preacher, Vol. 4: Ancient History

AUTHOR: Garth Ennis

YEAR: 1998

GENRE: Graphic Novel

SUBGENRE: Horror

GRADE: Pass

Three tales of bloodshed, three glimpses into the pasts of the famous Preacher characters we know today. The Saint of Killers started off as a wild west bounty hunter with a heart so cold he brought snowy weather to Texas (that’s not a clever joke, that’s a fact). Arse-Face’s was a disenfranchised teenager constantly bullied at school and abused by his corrupt cop father. The Good Old Boys Jody and TC were swamp fighters who stumbled upon a gang of mercenaries trying to recover a blackmail tape from a cop and a smoking hot lawyer. Nobody is safe in these homicidal stories. What doesn’t kill them will leave a scar.

The level of violence in these stories is maximum tier, maybe even beyond that if it’s humanly possible. It’s more than just splattering blood across the scenery. It’s more than just broken bones and squishy organs. It’s psychological torture. It’s reliving those horrific scenes for the rest of your life (however long that may be). Maybe if you’re lucky, your brain will explode in this hurricane of violence and you can be spared from this maddening torture. But then there’s always the possibility of living with a sadistic devil or a corrupt god. In which case, the bloodshed and brutality will come full circle long before you’re ready to be reincarnated and have it happen to you all over again.

Unfortunately, this kind of horrific display is also applicable to innocent animals that’ve done nothing wrong. The animal cruelty in this graphic novel is easily the hardest to stomach while the violence to humans is at least sick and twisted fun. Whether it’s Gumbo McCready’s gang shooting horses, Pube shooting a yappy dog, or Jody beating the hell out of a confused gorilla with a baseball bat, your heart will sink so far down it’ll think it’s in the ninth circle of hell. While the animal deaths are a true representation of how screwed up life can be, it doesn’t make them easier to read about, much less physically see on the pages of a graphic novel. Thank goodness for the ASPCA, which I donate to every month.

Just as alarming is the way in which Arse-Face is treated throughout his story. He’s constantly beaten by his father, beaten by the students at school, and rejected pretty much everywhere else he goes, and this is all before his face became permanently disfigured. His only escape in life is through his punk rocker best friend Pube, who happened to be the one to shoot the yappy dog with a shotgun. Not much of an escape, huh? If I had to live that screwed up of a life in Texas, I too would want to find solace in even the most horrible people while smoking marijuana until the end of time. Disturbing as hell, yet the most poignant of the three stories, especially considering how Kurt Cobain’s suicide played a role in Pube and Arse-Face’s decision-making.

Preacher, Vol. 4 is equal parts heartbreak and violent fun. The delightfully vulgar dialogue sets it all up with perfection and can be another entertaining part of the graphic novel, even with Saddam Hopper and his inability to swear properly. Garth Ennis knocks it out of the park yet again with these Preacher graphic novels. He probably needs many years of therapy, but it’ll be worth it if he continues pumping out awesomely violent fiction like this. How does a passing grade sound to all of you?

"Love Letters to the Dead" by Ava Dellaira

Before I get started with the body of this review, I want to personally thank Stephen Chbosky for recommending this book to me. I still to this day don’t know if it was a chain letter or a personal note, but in any case, I still want to express my gratitude to him. “Love Letters to the Dead” often drew comparisons to “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” due to the themes of growing up, nostalgia, soulful music, and also due to the letter style in which both novels are written. After reading both books, I decided not to rank one before the other, because like family, they both have a special place in my heart.

This particular novel centers around Laurel, a high school student with a broken family made even more distant by the passing of her older sister May. There are so many secrets surrounding May’s death that it takes an entire novel to unravel them. And when they finally do get unraveled, there are a lot of waterworks involved, which means PTSD was involved. What kinds of secrets would cause somebody to develop traumatic memories? That’s for you to find out, my friend.

And during your quest to solve the mystery of May’s death, take some time to digest the fact that these chapters are written in the form of letters to dead celebrities such as Kurt Cobain, Amelia Earhart, Amy Winehouse, River Phoenix, and many others that had a huge impact o Laurel’s life. It started out as a simple English assignment: write a letter to a famous dead person. Laurel wrote one to Kurt Cobain, but never handed it in. Instead, the one assignment evolved into an entire notebook of letters to various celebrities chronicling Laurel’s heartaches, triumphs, traumas, tragedies, and ultimately resolutions.

I will admit that reading these letters really put a timestamp on how old Laurel really is. In other words, she writes and talks like a typical teenager. There are even times when she attempts to use a clever metaphor, but it backfires into something that only makes marginal sense. However, these are flaws I am very easily able to forgive for the sake of a beautiful and heart-wrenching story. Imagine that: me, an English major, forgiving a strange writing style. It’s something I would have done anyways even if this book was assigned to me in either college or high school.

While “Love Letters to the Dead” didn’t bring me to tears like “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” almost did, I’m crying on the inside for Laurel and I hope she goes on to do great things in her life. I feel the same way about her friends and family, who have also proven to be three-dimensional in their own special way throughout the book. People on Good Reads like to take shots at this book for being “immature” and having “cookie cutter characters”. While it was amusing to see two people named Tristan and Kristen, I have to disagree with those cheap shots. This is a wonderful book for anybody who recently spent over $100 on Kleenex.

　

***TELEVISION QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“You’re not in love with him. You’re in love with what you want him to be.”

-Dr. Phil-