Shut Up, Bitch!

“We’ll be right back after these messages from our sponsors…”

 

Is it Red Fin or Rent Fin?

An intellectual sedative

For your inbred relatives

 

SHUT UP, BITCH!

 

I have a structured settlement

Judge called it embezzlement

Defendant’s out of his element

 

SHUT UP, BITCH!

 

Ask your doctor if it’s right

To take Ozempic every night

Belly fades out of sight

 

SHUT UP, BITCH!

 

We’ve got all your favorite songs

To sell our corporate wrongs

Profits looking pretty strong

 

SHUT UP, BITCH!

 

It’s a blanket with sleeves

You’ll never attract thieves

Just a pervert with fleas

 

SHUT UP, BITCH!

 

Smoking cigarettes will kill you

Funeral home will bill you

Our commercials make you ill, dude

 

SHUT UP, BITCH!

 

Commercials used to be funny, now they’ve lost all charisma

Mediocrity takes over and it’s not an enigma

The richer you get, the less competition

Will make you reach beyond your greatest ambitions

Get lazy on the sofa then project onto the workers

They should be forming a union, but all they want is murder

Why up your game when they’re fighting each other?

Sit back, relax, and watch them killing their brothers

Tuomas Holopainen from Nightwish

 

Going Nuts

Not a spark of electricity in this whole damn house

Not enough melatonin to knock my ass out

My dreams are lysergic, my reality is no different

Going nuts in a dark room with demonic visions

My body could fry a whole carton of eggs

My throat slime could melt through my nonexistent neck

My nose is undergoing medieval torture

A mountain of tissues ruined in short order

Coughing up a storm of pandemic proportions

Dreading the days of insurance extortions

No breathing apparatus to pump my lungs

Waking up from dreams that feel like drugs

Alcoholic syrup is the only solution

To keep me away from the mental institution

The late night is over, the day starts at dawn

Still the electricity won’t come back on

I slosh along like a radioactive blob

Throat’s too sore for corn on the cob

I might as well swallow shards of glass

The next 24 hours can kiss my ass

Nothing to do but lay down and drift

Leaving my thoughts to sort and sift

Through a filter that was never there before

Demons in my head fight an endless war

With swords, rifles, bombs, and nerve gas

Turning my brain into a mass grave fast

The world wasn’t supposed to end this way

But why expect it to last forever and a day?

The power’s back on and so is the news

My fever kills, but millions are screwed

A fever passes with time and some rest

Hits different when the rich see you as a pest

If it had been measles or god forbid COVID

We’d have bigger problems than feeling hopeless

I survived insanity and snot-covered sickness

Got any more tragedies for me to witness?

Going nuts is kind of what I do the best

Don’t believe me? You fail the polygraph test