Bush vs. Joey Swoll: a Song Like "Testosterone" Should Absolutely Be Taken at Face Value, Hint, Hint, Nudge, Nudge

 

Lawrence O'Donnell (MS Now) X Timo Cruz (Coach Carter): Everybody Calls Him "Sir"

 

DMX: Died Before Elon Musk Rebranded Twitter, Haunts Him From Beyond the Grave

 

The Nightcore Boobird X Ticketmaster: Name a More Insufferable Tag Team

 

Cornell 666: If Only Red Pilled Rapists Were This Easy to Spot

 

Girlhood

Happy Easter, shake your keister

Shake your birthday cake for the Thanksgiving feasters

Eighteen, seventeen, who gives a damn?

How low can you go for the gaze of a man?

Get picked or get kicked, they’re your only choices

Don’t talk about boundaries, men have louder voices

They call themselves protectors only when it’s convenient

So much for protection when the penalty is lenient

A slap on the wrist that got Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

From jacking it to rape, but you can’t blame him, though

Staring is caring, videos are for sharing

Freedom of information was just a red herring

“Not All Men” is a political slogan

Blasted through a bullhorn by fans of Joe Rogan

They swallow Red Pills that were stolen from the source

Sci-fi directors who were labeled “trans whores”

And now we got a system and we call it Penis Power

Confused with people power, ‘cause the people have soured

On the illusion of choice, whether it’s voting or abortion

Work within a system overpowered by extortion

Anger is for criminals, violence is for sinners

They tell you speaking softly is the way to be a winner

Of every debate you’ve ever been a part of

Get arrested anyways, no chance for a pardon

Slammed to the ground, wrists heavily bound

The last of your girlhood is nowhere to be found

Patriarchy wanted this the whole fucking time

So they can dodge accountability for every crime

Against a woman’s body, her mind, and her soul

Reducing her to whether men want to fill her holes

A world run by fascists will always fall apart

Where’s the awe and wonder of men with black hearts?

What can they create with a world they have robbed?

Even AI chatbots think the world’s made of slop

Loneliness epidemic? That’s what happens when you kill

There’s nobody left to share your enjoyment of the thrill

Last man standing is a dead-end situation

Spend your life in squalor, there’s no fun in masturbation

Hey, Teacher Therapy: Get Over It!

 

Sting: "When We Lie in Fields of Gold..."

New Orleans Prostitute vs. Garrison's Autism: Same Characters, New Dialogue

 

Paul Mauriat: In America's Elections, "Love Is Blue" Takes on a Whole New Meaning

 

Becky Lynch and Nikki Cross Are Not Actually Fucking Each Other (Shocking, Isn't It)

 

Toilet Paper USA X Power Slop: They Truly Deserve Each Other

 

Tonight on Lifetime: Duct Tape, Duct Tape, and More Duct Tape!

 

My Most Disturbing Drawing Since Dogmeat from Black Tar Kiss

 

Garrison Kelly vs. a Nazi Caveman a.k.a. Your Average Right-Winger

 

War of the Worlds? More Like a War on Neurodivergent People

 

Pimping Your Peace of Mind

VERSE 1

A diamond ring for a kick in your teeth

Blood stains on the Christmas wreath

A flat TV for a punch in the gut

“Sorry so sorry, let’s order Pizza Hut!”

Fancy clothes for a gun to your head

The war is over, let’s make love in the bed

You’ll lay in a coffin if the price is right

At least you got to be with the love of your life

 

CHORUS

Pimping your peace of mind

Being rich is better than being kind

Selling your soul for a pile of gold

Now she owns your ass until the day you’re too old

 

VERSE 2

Drop her like the bad habit she is

You can’t always bat a thousand, sometimes you miss

Undefeated streaks in romance are impossible to have

Only so many times you cut your wealth in half

 

CHORUS

Pimping your peace of mind

Being rich is better than being kind

Selling your soul for a pile of gold

Now she owns your ass until the day you’re too old

 

VERSE 3

Loneliness and isolation are a gift

When your lady couldn’t bother to give you a lift

In your spirits, you can hear it when she raises her voice

About this and that and nothing, it’s the topic of her choice

Being the bigger man is hard when you feel small

You’re a circus dwarf and she’s a million feet tall

Why would you play ball with the sorest loser

Break it off now before you cope and be a boozer

 

CHORUS

Pimping your peace of mind

Being rich is better than being kind

Selling your soul for a pile of gold

Now she owns your ass until the day you’re too old

 

OUTRO

It’s a warning, not a playbook, not a game of football

Get CTE without your head bouncing off the walls

You can’t finish your sentence unless you finish your flashback

Why’re you getting mad at me? She’s the one who needs backlash

Tomi Lahren: Legally Blonde, Willingly Blind

 

A&W Root Beer vs. a Grumpy Old Man: His Name is Definitely Not Pronounced "doo-MAHS"

 

Piper (my cat) vs. Charlotte Flair (WWE): Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Who's the Fairest of Them All?