Showing posts with label Australia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Australia. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 14, 2026
Tuesday, June 23, 2026
Sunday, May 24, 2026
Tuesday, April 28, 2026
Friday, March 6, 2026
Tuesday, January 6, 2026
Thursday, July 31, 2025
Pulling on the Masks
INTRO DIALOGUE
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro
Can you hear me, Juan?
Okay, these people think they’re the Master Race?
VERSE 1
Pulling on the masks, not wiping their asses
Wiping is gay, they’re supposed to be fascists
Run into a school zone, terrorize the masses
Pinhead, pinhead, racial slur passes
Pinhead, pinhead, racial slur passes
Appropriating cultures like a motherfucking vulture
Pinhead, pinhead, getting really
pissed
Pinhead, pinhead, MAGA
terrorists
VERSE 2
Logging onto Tinder to get themselves some
Chickies in the streets, grab their fucking bums
When they want her number, she will give them none
Pinhead, pinhead, chivalry is done
Pinhead, pinhead, chivalry is done
Scaring off the women in a patriarchal system
Pinhead, pinhead, sucking on her face
Pinhead, pinhead, getting sprayed with mace
VERSE 3
When they’re at a protest, at first they pull a gun
But when they see some blue hair, then they start to run
When they see their pronouns, it makes them think twice
Pinhead, pinhead, secretly enticed
Pinhead, pinhead, secretly enticed
Consuming trans porn ‘til the bright and early morn
Pinhead, pinhead, getting really pissed
Pinhead, pinhead, at the word “cis”
VERSE 4
I couldn’t speak Spanish to save my own life
But I know a few phrases, so I can get by
On your knees, pendejo, that’s a good puto
Pinhead, pinhead, besame kulo
Pinhead, pinhead, hired by the law
It was January 6th when ICE gave them a job
Pinhead, pinhead, covering their face
Pinhead, pinhead, for the Master Race!
Tuesday, September 27, 2022
Love From a Safe Distance
VERSE 1
The roads are closed, nowhere to go
Bury my eyes in the blue light glow
Watching her talk with an angel’s voice
About democracy and being pro-choice
I hang on her words in a loving embrace
Rosy pink cheeks and a grin on my face
Call it simping or whatever you please
Excuse me while I sigh in a gentle breeze
PRE-CHORUS
When I went to bed
She stayed in my head
And this is what she said
CHORUS 1
I live in Canada and I love you
Buy a plane ticket and dinner for two
We can dance in the city streets
Nervous? I’ll wrap you in flannel sheets
None of my fans should ever be alone
It’s time for you to shed that heart of stone
You wake up and find I was never there
But parasocial love just can’t compare
VERSE 2
She reads my favorite books, writes some of her own
In an army of fan boys, I never feel alone
Brought together by the diamonds in her eyes
But only one of us will get past the other guys
She’s got a husband and needs nobody else
But we can still try to be lovers ourselves
We could head to the bar, maybe touch some grass
“Notice me, Senpai! I’m your favorite in class!”
PRE-CHORUS
When I went to bed
She stayed in my head
And this is what she said
CHORUS 2
I live in England and I love you
Cross the waters if you love me too
We can hold hands in the scary darkness
Rest your head in my lap, listen to pop artists
I’m sorry you spend your nights all alone
But I’m a call away on the telephone
You wake up and find it was all a dream
The coldness of it all makes you want to scream
BRIDGE
This isn’t E-Harmony, that’s what they all say
It’s not Plenty of Fish, so get the hell away
It’s not Tinder, don’t think she’s here to play
She doesn’t know you nor would she want to
CHORUS 3
I live in Australia and I love you
I never said that, so don’t call me a prude
Get some medication, not a worldwide vacation
Stay in your own cozy little bitty nation
I’ll block you forever, so this is goodbye
I don’t even know why you had to try
To get in my life, I’m already a wife
Sorry for your broken dreams and mockery memes
Friday, November 27, 2015
"A Street Cat Named Bob" by James Bowen
BOOK TITLE: A Street Cat Named Bob: And How He Saved My Life
AUTHOR: James Bowen
YEAR: 2012
GENRE: Nonfiction
SUBGENRE: Cat Memoir
GRADE: Pass
James Bowen has been down on his luck in London, England for a whole decade. He was estranged from his family in Australia and used heroin to cope with his raw emotions. He lived on the streets in cardboard boxes until he was finally able to qualify for public housing. Ever since making an effort to get clean, he became a street musician begging for handouts, which came few and for between and often came with aggressive attitudes toward the poor.
Mr. Bowen’s luck started to change when he found a ginger tomcat he named Bob curled up in his apartment building. He nursed the kitty back to health with the intention of sending the little guy back on the streets. When Bob started following him to work, however, Mr. Bowen attracted more money and more friendly attention. It was a long process, but with a cute cuddly feline in his life, James slowly began to put his life back together.
The biggest upsides to this book are the tale of redemption and the cuteness of Bob that goes along with it. It’s amazing what a simple thing like love can do for a person’s life. James Bowen is an animal lover by nature, so taking the little orange sweetheart into his life was easy. It’s what these two did for each other afterwards that makes their relationship special to the reader. I found myself wanting James Bowen to get clean and have a stable income despite all of the nasty things he’d done with his life prior to this point. If nothing else, this book teaches a valuable lesson in being too quick to judge a person by his past. Bob isn’t judgmental in the least bit. Animal cuties rarely are.
The writing style is exactly what I’d expect from someone who’s writing his first memoir: fast-paced, simple, and clean. It’s a no-nonsense style that gets the reader from place to place while still allowing the reader to peer into James Bowen’s innermost thoughts. Those thoughts can be anything from the fear of losing Bob to the flashbacks of withdrawing from heroin, all of which can be emotionally heart wrenching. I have to admit, though, there were parts where I zoned out as I was reading it. Maybe it’s not the flashiest book ever written, but it’s one I can get through and enjoy the journey along the way.
I’ve often heard the phrase that a story doesn’t end at the final page, but at where the author chooses to stop. The story does stop at a happy place in James and Bob’s lives, but I’m not telling you how it happens; you’ll have to buy the book and read for yourself. I will say this, though: the ending feels a little open-ended, meaning I still fear for the author and his cat’s safety while they’re out on the street doing their thing. In hindsight, the fear is probably a good thing since that makes the two main characters sympathetic and heroic to the reader.
If you like stories about redemption, cute and cuddly animals, and the power of altruistic love, be sure to pick up a copy of “A Street Cat Named Bob” by James Bowen. It’s a rough ride all throughout the book since people on the streets are oftentimes mean and aggressive towards James and Bob, but the cuteness factor and the sense of triumph is there nonetheless. It would probably be worth it to fly all the way out to England on an airplane just to meet the little orange sweetie pie and his wonderful caretaker. But since air travel is a pain in the rear-end (as James Bowen will attest to in the latter half of the book), you can always follow this victorious pair on Twitter and Face Book. They’d love to hear from you!
AUTHOR: James Bowen
YEAR: 2012
GENRE: Nonfiction
SUBGENRE: Cat Memoir
GRADE: Pass
James Bowen has been down on his luck in London, England for a whole decade. He was estranged from his family in Australia and used heroin to cope with his raw emotions. He lived on the streets in cardboard boxes until he was finally able to qualify for public housing. Ever since making an effort to get clean, he became a street musician begging for handouts, which came few and for between and often came with aggressive attitudes toward the poor.
Mr. Bowen’s luck started to change when he found a ginger tomcat he named Bob curled up in his apartment building. He nursed the kitty back to health with the intention of sending the little guy back on the streets. When Bob started following him to work, however, Mr. Bowen attracted more money and more friendly attention. It was a long process, but with a cute cuddly feline in his life, James slowly began to put his life back together.
The biggest upsides to this book are the tale of redemption and the cuteness of Bob that goes along with it. It’s amazing what a simple thing like love can do for a person’s life. James Bowen is an animal lover by nature, so taking the little orange sweetheart into his life was easy. It’s what these two did for each other afterwards that makes their relationship special to the reader. I found myself wanting James Bowen to get clean and have a stable income despite all of the nasty things he’d done with his life prior to this point. If nothing else, this book teaches a valuable lesson in being too quick to judge a person by his past. Bob isn’t judgmental in the least bit. Animal cuties rarely are.
The writing style is exactly what I’d expect from someone who’s writing his first memoir: fast-paced, simple, and clean. It’s a no-nonsense style that gets the reader from place to place while still allowing the reader to peer into James Bowen’s innermost thoughts. Those thoughts can be anything from the fear of losing Bob to the flashbacks of withdrawing from heroin, all of which can be emotionally heart wrenching. I have to admit, though, there were parts where I zoned out as I was reading it. Maybe it’s not the flashiest book ever written, but it’s one I can get through and enjoy the journey along the way.
I’ve often heard the phrase that a story doesn’t end at the final page, but at where the author chooses to stop. The story does stop at a happy place in James and Bob’s lives, but I’m not telling you how it happens; you’ll have to buy the book and read for yourself. I will say this, though: the ending feels a little open-ended, meaning I still fear for the author and his cat’s safety while they’re out on the street doing their thing. In hindsight, the fear is probably a good thing since that makes the two main characters sympathetic and heroic to the reader.
If you like stories about redemption, cute and cuddly animals, and the power of altruistic love, be sure to pick up a copy of “A Street Cat Named Bob” by James Bowen. It’s a rough ride all throughout the book since people on the streets are oftentimes mean and aggressive towards James and Bob, but the cuteness factor and the sense of triumph is there nonetheless. It would probably be worth it to fly all the way out to England on an airplane just to meet the little orange sweetie pie and his wonderful caretaker. But since air travel is a pain in the rear-end (as James Bowen will attest to in the latter half of the book), you can always follow this victorious pair on Twitter and Face Book. They’d love to hear from you!
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
The McLeod Brothers (Charles and Ivan)
With the way book sales are going these days, not everyone will know the name of Mitch McLeod. If that’s the case, you’ll know even less about his cousins, Charles and Ivan McLeod. When I was still a member of Play By Web in the early 2000’s, Mitch McLeod was the most popular and brutal brawler to ever venture into OTT (Over the Top Wrestling) territory. He did things with weapons that nobody else thought of doing until their brains were swirling into the storm sewer. These days, Mitch McLeod has found employment under the Brawl Mart banner as a rebel within KDW (Keegan Day Wrestling). So where does that leave Charles and Ivan, his cousins? Are they going to follow in Mitch’s footsteps and become great? Do they have it in them to become the greatest tag team ever assembled? Or are these two beefcakes just a couple of dimwits? I’ve considered both routes when deciding what to do with Charles and Ivan. If they were to follow in the successful footsteps of Mitch, they would be a pair of characters that will be admired for generations to come. If on the other hand they started off as moronic slackers, then their transformation into a successful tag team will certainly be more believable. Every main character has to go through some kind of transformation by the time the book’s over, we all know that. That transformation can be anything from learning something new, finding friendship, finding love, or just becoming an overall stronger person. There are even times when the events of a story can make someone bitter and twisted. With that said, maybe the more believable route would be to make Charles and Ivan a pair of dumb-asses who have to learn how to be intelligent businessmen. They certainly will be given the potential to do so no matter what organization they’re a part of. They both weigh 285 lbs., they’re both 6’6”, and their finishing move is a double curb stomp. A single curb stomp is when a wrestler rolls his opponent on his stomach, pulls his arms backwards, places his boot behind the opponent’s head, and stomp him face first into the mat. I first saw Paul Burchill do it in the WWE, so giving this finishing move to a tag team of hulking idiots would seem logical to me. So we have this tag team with million dollar bodies and nickel brains. What kinds of obstacles will they face together? Superior opponents? Corporate oppressiveness? Fan hatred? Road troubles? These are all worthy things to throw in front of Charles and Ivan McLeod. I’ll let you all know what I decide to do with these guys if I ever want to do another Brawl Mart novel or Occupy Wrestling act. Until then, adios, motherfuckers!
***COMEDIC QUOTE OF THE DAY***
“If you knock up Sarah Palin, Australia is a great place to hide, because then she’ll look for you in Austria.”
-Bill Maher-
***COMEDIC QUOTE OF THE DAY***
“If you knock up Sarah Palin, Australia is a great place to hide, because then she’ll look for you in Austria.”
-Bill Maher-
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