Tuesday, September 15, 2026
Spooky Lil Ash vs. Walter Weekes (Fresh & Fit): Fatphobia Makes No Fucking Sense, Just Like Any Other Bigotry
Monday, September 14, 2026
Dave Chappelle Is Actually Surprised That His Transphobia Has Consequences
Thursday, September 10, 2026
Marine Humor: Because Serial Killing Is Funny...or So I'm Told...
Wednesday, September 2, 2026
Fragile
VERSE1
Putting on the mask is too much to ask
I’ve had it on since the days of being a pawn
For ungrateful swine who do nothing but whine
I give a million percent just to pay my rent
They said I should smile even when I’m on trial
For my social crimes that I commit all the time
Just being myself gets me a ticket to hell
Earth is already like that even when I strike back
CHORUS
You are fragile! Fragile!
Conformists are so fragile! Fragile!
I’ll never adjust, because I cannot trust
Shock collar doctors who are somehow fathers
You are fragile! Fragile!
VERSE 2
Putting on a show like I’m your little ho
Kick line, comedy, needing a lobotomy
Scenes from movies where they don’t show boobies
Wouldn’t want to offend or the performance to end
Sing with a pretty voice like I ain’t got a choice
Hymns and love songs, go all night long
I crash on my bed like I’m already dead
Do it over tomorrow, not allowed to show sorrow
CHORUS
You are fragile! Fragile!
Conformists are so fragile! Fragile!
I’ll never adjust, because I cannot trust
Shock collar doctors who are somehow fathers
You are fragile! Fragile!
OUTRO
You ever wonder why I’m on medication?
I’m an overachiever, gave too much dedication
To fair weather bosses who would never hire me
Not one day on the job, yet they still like to tire me
Shaking me down for performative excitement
When I’d rather lay low, they accuse me of entitlement
Middle aged ambition is to lay down and rest
Couldn’t take another class or a scantron test
Couldn’t make another dollar while serving a burger
Couldn’t fantasize about anything but murder
They call it burnout, because there used to be flames
But my body is ashes, no more skin in the game
Maybe I’m the one who’s been fragile all along
Breaking down anyways even though I was strong
Saturday, August 29, 2026
Bill Maher: A Fall From Grace That Left a Hole in the Ground Like Wile E. Coyote
Thursday, August 27, 2026
Royce White: If the Klan Hood Fits, Wear It
Enes Kanter Freedom: A Bigger Danger to Women Than Transgender People Will Ever Be
Thursday, August 20, 2026
Johnny Young Gets a Taste of His Own Medicine, Which Tastes Like Shit
Tuesday, August 18, 2026
Andrew Dice Clay: a Tool Answering a Jeopardy Question About Other Tools
Sunday, August 2, 2026
Rebecca Watson vs. Christopher Hitchens: New Atheism, Same Conservative Bigotry
Tuesday, July 21, 2026
Nyla Rose: the Secret Desire of Transphobic Men Everywhere
Sunday, July 19, 2026
Kleptometer
VERSE 1
You had decades to put two slugs in my chest
And you couldn’t be bothered to give me your best
You spent your whole life in agony because I exist
For the love of god, move on, because we all insist
You need around-the-clock care for your butthurt derriere
You failed on purpose, yet you say it’s not fair
That I breathe in greatness and breathe out revolution
While you’re writing angry essays on The Final Solution
CHORUS
I’m so happy that I wasted your time
Not a great place to stick all your nickels and dimes
Save your Benjamins and Hamiltons for NFTs
The kleptometer’s readings are really sending me
VERSE 2
Put some money in my wallet just like you should
Then you say you’ll go nuclear if my work isn’t good
Sight unseen is how you describe your purchase
But you already decided that my thoughts are worthless
Guys like you and me have never been equal
We share the biology, but we’re two different people
You put too much stock in burning down the whole planet
And you blow a gasket when I say I won’t have it
CHORUS
I’m so happy that I wasted your time
Not a great place to stick all your nickels and dimes
Save your Benjamins and Hamiltons for NFTs
The kleptometer’s readings are really sending me
VERSE 3
Curiosity never once killed the cat
It never killed anyone, what do you think about that?
But sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong
Is so much worse when you think you’re never wrong
I’ve got a lifetime of lessons I could pass down to you
But you’re special, so you don’t need anything new
Just keep opening your mouth for a helping of slop
And keep on chowing down until your belly pops
CHORUS
I’m so happy that I wasted your time
Not a great place to stick all your nickels and dimes
Save your Benjamins and Hamiltons for NFTs
The kleptometer’s readings are really sending me
OUTRO
Tick, tock, tick, tock
Your palms are sweating as you count down the clock
Tick, tock, tick, tock
Only minutes remain until you’re stiff as a rock
Tick, tock, tick, tock
You could have forged any path you wanted to
Tick, tock, tick, tock
Now you take your last breath, bitch face goes blue

















