The Schizophrenic Ides of March

 

Fragile

VERSE1

Putting on the mask is too much to ask

I’ve had it on since the days of being a pawn

For ungrateful swine who do nothing but whine

I give a million percent just to pay my rent

They said I should smile even when I’m on trial

For my social crimes that I commit all the time

Just being myself gets me a ticket to hell

Earth is already like that even when I strike back

 

CHORUS

You are fragile! Fragile!

Conformists are so fragile! Fragile!

I’ll never adjust, because I cannot trust

Shock collar doctors who are somehow fathers

You are fragile! Fragile!

 

VERSE 2

Putting on a show like I’m your little ho

Kick line, comedy, needing a lobotomy

Scenes from movies where they don’t show boobies

Wouldn’t want to offend or the performance to end

Sing with a pretty voice like I ain’t got a choice

Hymns and love songs, go all night long

I crash on my bed like I’m already dead

Do it over tomorrow, not allowed to show sorrow

 

CHORUS

You are fragile! Fragile!

Conformists are so fragile! Fragile!

I’ll never adjust, because I cannot trust

Shock collar doctors who are somehow fathers

You are fragile! Fragile!

 

OUTRO

You ever wonder why I’m on medication?

I’m an overachiever, gave too much dedication

To fair weather bosses who would never hire me

Not one day on the job, yet they still like to tire me

Shaking me down for performative excitement

When I’d rather lay low, they accuse me of entitlement

Middle aged ambition is to lay down and rest

Couldn’t take another class or a scantron test

Couldn’t make another dollar while serving a burger

Couldn’t fantasize about anything but murder

They call it burnout, because there used to be flames

But my body is ashes, no more skin in the game

Maybe I’m the one who’s been fragile all along

Breaking down anyways even though I was strong

A Pleasure to Have in Class

VERSE 1

I was such a pleasure to have in the class

All while the system fucked me in the ass

Trading my soul for an A+ to pass

And that’s why my childhood went by so fast

 

CHORUS 1

But I’m better than school

I’m nobody’s tool

I did what I did to survive

I’m better than school

I make my own rules

My rage is about to go live

 

VERSE 2

Dressed up in my Sunday’s best for the test

Job interview just to see if I’m screwed

They wished me luck in all my endeavors

And that’s why I’m unemployed forever

 

CHORUS 2

But I’m better than school

And capitalist fools

I live on despite their oppression

I’m better than school

And corporate gene pools

Hiring down the line of succession

 

BRIDGE

I’m an artist, not a soldier

Holding corpses on shoulders

I’m a lover, not a hater

Though I bloom a lot later

I’m a rebel, not a drone

Leave my human rights alone

I’m my own man, not a student

Not expendable, not useless

 

CHORUS 3

But I’m better than school

And a world so cruel

My art lives on when it’s my time to go

I’m better than school

I’ll die in this duel

It’s my hill to stand on

They’re my feet to land on

Too good for conformity

So don’t try to whore me

Brendan Schaub: A Failed MMA Fighter Turned Failed Comedian Who Also Fails at Transphobic Humor

 

Lauren Kennedy West: a Schizophrenia Survivor Who Sounds Like Canada's Version of MAHA

 

Dacryphilia

CHORUS

You look cute when you’re crying

When you’re contemplating dying

When there’s no point in trying

When the world thinks you’re lying

Every plea for help sounds like sucking helium

In the pervert industry, it’s called dacryphilia

 

VERSE 1

The manliest men talking male suicides

Like they themselves got nothing dirty to hide

Vulnerability don’t jive well with the muscles

And the bushiest beards and the work culture hustle

Macho madness is the number one killer

Of lonely men who feel like background filler

All you have to do is reach out for help

Provided you have good insurance for health

 

CHORUS

You look cute when you’re crying

When you’re contemplating dying

When there’s no point in trying

When the world thinks you’re lying

Every plea for help sounds like sucking helium

In the pervert industry, it’s called dacryphilia

 

VERSE 2

The womanly women have permission to sob

Then get threatened and bullied by the right-wing mob

It was never about having a monopoly on tears

It was about who was better at weaponizing fears

Insecure men pull a gun or a knife

When the balance of power slides over to their wives

Or any woman with a little bit of independence

Male judges make sure the killer gets a light sentence

 

CHORUS

You look cute when you’re crying

When you’re contemplating dying

When there’s no point in trying

When the world thinks you’re lying

Every plea for help sounds like sucking helium

In the pervert industry, it’s called dacryphilia

 

VERSE 3

Do you envy the enby when they have the narrative?

Is it a blow to your ego? Are you a macho embarrassment?

Didn’t you learn in school that you had to share your toys?

Or did you dodge accountability like “boys will be boys”?

You throw all the punches and you call yourself the victim

When the ladies you decked have concussed double vision

When the other genders are too afraid to talk to the cops

Drag the world down so you can be the one on top

 

CHORUS

You look cute when you’re crying

When you’re contemplating dying

When there’s no point in trying

When the world thinks you’re lying

Every plea for help sounds like sucking helium

In the pervert industry, it’s called dacryphilia

Gunnery Sgt. Hartman from Full Metal Jacket vs. Schizophrenic Voices (Rest in Peace, R. Lee Ermey)

 

Mr. Syd Barrett, Where've You Been?

Mr. Syd Barrett, where’ve you been?

Sit your ass down and give this record a spin

The two of us are more than just bricks in the wall

We went a little crazy and we lost it all

They say it was the LSD that sealed your fate

But I call BS, at worst it’s ableist hate

Someone in our bloodlines was fucky in the head

We had a world of potential, but potential’s all dead

Born against our will into an unfeeling world

That shamed us for never catching brass rings and pearls

We had poetry for miles, many stories to tell

About the warring nations and a planet called hell

And the injustices of sitting in a jail cell

When your one and only crime was being unwell

And the corporate slavery of the music industry

Publishing too, they were never into me

Misunderstood at best and pariahs at worst

Our creations came second, mental health came first

Could we survive the housing market as roommates?

Or would the landlords evict us like, “See you soon, mate!”

We might get on each other’s nerves more often than not

The darkness inside reveals as the brain rots

The mask comes off like a neurodivergent rebel

And we make the batshit music at the highest decibels

Neighbors would complain that we’re melting their brains

Gurgling their intestines, filling ears up with pain

Maybe this is better as a what-if scenario

Maybe this nutty movie should be filmed in aerial

Sorry I wasted time with a hypothetical

But to reach out to the world takes steel testicles

In a society that laughs like a pack of hyenas

At the hurting class for not kissing fascist ass

Who would want us to be their loyal friend?

They get millions of them when a hashtag trends

Born into this world and thrown out with the trash

It’s a society that will one day be climate changed to ash

Give Me My Flowers

VERSE 1

I heard the words that no child should hear

“Your dreams are dead, no one will shed tears”

I carried them with me like brain cancer cells

And I survived my own schizophrenic hell

 

PRE-CHORUS 1

No, I don’t need the Medal of Freedom

I’ve seen who won and I don’t need to be them

Serve humble pies so my abusers can eat them

Poison the crusts so I can slay all my demons

 

CHORUS 1

Give me my flowers

Do it for hours

Give me my power

Give me my flowers!

 

VERSE 2

I did the math at the expense of my sanity

I took the pills at the expense of my vanity

And all I got was a damn piece of paper

That says nine-to-five is my one true savior

 

PRE-CHORUS 2

No, I don’t need the Medal of Honor

Though life is war when it only gets harder

Tell my teachers that it’s okay to forget me

Their C’s and D’s make it okay to regret me

 

CHORUS 2

Give me my flowers

Before they sour

Death to the cowards

Give me my flowers!

 

BRIDGE

They tell me it was so many years ago

As if it was something I would never know

Without their reminders and beige prose

Is it any wonder why I will not let go?!

 

CHORUS 3

Give me my flowers

Grown from spring showers

Wilt within hours

Give me my flowers!

Give me my flowers

On your own power

Say I deserve them

Water and serve them!

Bill Sessions: a "Winner" Who Didn't Use Drugs, But Probably Other Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

 

I Want My Hobbies Back

VERSE 1

Laying in bed staring into outer space

No life in my eyes, ‘cause the life went to waste

Lips are too heavy to lift for a smile

Haven’t left the bed for a long-ass while

Arm is too weak to give the cat pettings

Only reason to get up is to avoid bedwetting

This would be a hell of a time for a hobby

But my brain is soup, primordial and sloppy

 

VERSE 2

Every song I listen to has an extra singer

One blasting the lyrics, one pointing the fingers

Call me every slur that’s ever been used

By every abuser who was once abused

Every story I write has an extra villain

That genocides my joy, laughs at the killing

Every videogame that I’ve tried to beat

Hit the Game Over screen looped on repeat

 

CHORUS

I want my hobbies back

I feel like I’m on crack

An LSD flashback

A poisoned bottle of Jack

I never touched the drugs

My brain don’t give a fuck

I’m high as hell anyway

Pretty much every day

 

VERSE 3

My dopamine supply is always running dry

Yet I couldn’t get a tear to drop from my eyes

Porn addiction is my only prescription

To medicate myself in this world called hell

Refraction periods are overrated

When a million orgasms leave you sedated

Couldn’t get real sex with my personality

It drained away with my social battery

 

CHORUS X2

I want my hobbies back

I feel like I’m on crack

An LSD flashback

A poisoned bottle of Jack

I never touched the drugs

My brain don’t give a fuck

I’m high as hell anyway

Pretty much every day

 

OUTRO

You couldn’t call it highway robbery

Too fucked up to drive, mental sodomy

All my potential stolen without a reason

Food for thought rotted before it was eaten

I was too threatening to the new world order

Because how dare my heart break for kids dead at the border?!

How dare my soul hurt for children raped by priests?!

How dare I ask for fairness and justice for the weak?!

Why All the Cartoons?

Alright…I think I owe everyone here an explanation as to why there have been so many political cartoons uploaded to my blog all at once. No, I didn’t get hacked, they are my drawings and I stand by those messages. In fact, cartooning has been a hobby of mine whenever my schizophrenic brain was too tired and too burned out to write stories or write poems. I can draw a cartoon anytime I want, whereas I have to wait a million years, maybe longer, to have the energy for writing stories and poetry. So yeah, that’s why I have a bunch of cartoons in my blog now. There will be so many more to come since I’ve been doing it throughout most of 2025, but I figured you guys deserved an explanation. I’m pacing myself with the upload schedule because it’s fucking tedious and drains me of energy pretty quickly. Stay tuned!

Always Wrong

You call me lazy while you sit on the couch

You call me fat while your gut’s sticking out

You call me expendable and wave your pink slip

You call me an idiot while your IQ takes a dip

You call me ugly while your lover is puking

You call me a simp while it’s her you’re abusing

You call me a loser while you’re floundering about

You call me a deadbeat while your future’s in doubt

You call me a snowflake while your eyes are pouring

You say I’m wasting my time while your life is boring

You say I’m virtue signaling to an audience of few

Yet the back of your truck says you “Back the Blue”

You’re running your mouth and you say it’s free speech

But all of my freedoms are somehow just out of reach

You abuse the constitution to make yourself feel strong

You’re not a model of strength, because you’re always wrong!

Always wrong! Always wrong!

I’ll say it over and over across a lifetime so long

Always wrong! Always wrong!

It’s a never-ending chorus for a never-ending song

Always wrong! Always wrong!

Always wrong! Always wrong!

Always wrong! Always wrong!

How are you a threat when you’re always wrong?!

All You Want Is More

VERSE 1

It might be a shocker to those unaware

But not all my dark secrets are fit to air

On TV, radio, or the good old Tubes of You

In between advertisements of whiskey and brew

Did I really do that to an old classmate?

Did I joke about submissives like a sick reprobate?

Did I do it on the bird app that I won’t call X?

Do I got a one-track mind preoccupied with sex?

 

CHORUS 1

I gave you my pain and all you want is more

I gave you my tears and all you want is more

Ripped open old wounds and all you want is more

Deets and dates, all you want is more!

 

VERSE 2

I crucified myself for an audience of many

I did it all for free, didn’t earn a single penny

The riches and bitches are for the anchors at five

Trust me when I say, they won’t call me “unalive”

 

CHORUS 1

I gave you my pain and all you want is more

I gave you my tears and all you want is more

Ripped open old wounds and all you want is more

Deets and dates, all you want is more!

 

BRIDGE

The conversation has long since run its course

Yet it happens again and you’ve got no remorse

Let the words of the greedy die a bloody death

It’s nosy at worst, concern trolling at best

 

VERSE 3

None of you got nothing to be nervous about

I was never suicidal, shouldn’t be in doubt

Even if the whole world takes turns fucking me

I’m alive for it all even when I fucking bleed

No gulag on earth will break me down

No reeducation camp will knock off my crown

I’m the king of my life, the god of my mind

My body’s made of meat, but it’s an axe I grind

 

CHORUS 2

I’ll give you my fist, do you want some more?

I’ll give you my bullet, do you want some more?

I’ll give you my blade, do you want some more?

Dicks and tricks, I hope you’re ready for more!

Dump and Dip

VERSE 1

My mom’s ex-boyfriend was a son of a bitch

Gave me lots of mental wounds, ripped open every stitch

Fatphobia and psychophobia

Any flavor of bigotry, the worst and the odious

Never mind the fact that he weighed more than me

And he’s got his own version of PTSD

The cycle of abuse passed the Boomer generation

The chain breaks here, I deserved the vacation

 

CHORUS

Got no time to process, keep your handsome proboscis

Out of my business, ‘cause you bear false witness

Won’t spend a single day in Sad People Jail

A.k.a. the psych ward, that’s where justice goes to fail

 

VERSE 2

When I was in prison a.k.a. high school

Those conservative batshits were so easy to fool

Spread a rumor about me dating a monster

Fuck anything that walks, I’m a sexual imposter

That shit wasn’t true and I screamed it ‘til I’m blue

Punching and kicking was the only thing to do

That’s where I learned to solve problems with violence

But since it’s illegal, I’m confined to my silence

 

CHORUS

Got no time to process, keep your handsome proboscis

Out of my business, ‘cause you bear false witness

Won’t spend a single day in Sad People Jail

A.k.a. the psych ward, that’s where justice goes to fail

 

VERSE 3

College was the time for partying and drugs

Limerence was my addiction, falsified hugs

Crushes on musicians and actresses

Took the place of real life, ‘cause I drew no attractions

A million pounds and a resting bitch face

Made me a pariah no matter what the place

No friends, no lovers, no teachers turned besties

Still limerent today, in my mind and in my testies

 

CHORUS

Got no time to process, keep your handsome proboscis

Out of my business, ‘cause you bear false witness

Won’t spend a single day in Sad People Jail

A.k.a. the psych ward, that’s where justice goes to fail

 

VERSE 4

I call it Dump and Dip because I don’t like to talk

About personal shit, got no choice but to walk

Can’t let them see my cry or overprotect me

No nurses for me, don’t even bother to inject me

With the world’s most powerful sedative juice

That could TKO a whale, double KO a moose

My freedom means more than an orderly’s pay

My individuality is here to fucking stay

 

CHORUS

Got no time to process, keep your handsome proboscis

Out of my business, ‘cause you bear false witness

Won’t spend a single day in Sad People Jail

A.k.a. the psych ward, that’s where justice goes to fail

Hell

VERSE 1

I see a frog-faced old man who tried to break my spirit

I see a demon-faced lover, when I said no, she didn’t hear it

I see a horse-faced soldier who laughed at all my faults

I see a zombie-faced friend who was no friend at all

 

CHORUS

I’m in hell!

I’m in hell!

I’m in hell!

I’m in hell!

 

VERSE 2

I burn inside the pit with people made of shit

I lay across the torture table with the opposite of Abel

I take a dip in the lake of fire until I break

I’m chained against the wall with nothing to do but bawl

 

CHORUS

I’m in hell!

I’m in hell!

I’m in hell!

I’m in hell!

 

BRIDGE

I pissed off the gods of schizophrenia

One too many times, hell is where I’m ending up

I’m locked in here, key dangling like a carrot

To clean my dirty laundry, I have to air it

 

VERSE 3

I fight with knives in my hands to bring the light to this land

I fight with stones in my heart, because villainy is an art

I fight with thunder in my mind, I’ll fuck up whatever I find

I fight with immortality, because I own this eternity

 

CHORUS

I’m in hell!

I’m in hell!

I’m in hell!

I’m in hell!

 

FINAL LINE

Wouldn’t skip this for the world

Mosquitos

You’re buzzing all around me like a mosquito

Feasting on flesh like a microwave burrito

Puking your poison over everything I love

Amythest colors drowned in shit from above

Every insult against me is a secret confession

Yet you yak your ass off like it’s your profession

If you buzz and bite for a long enough time

You buy space in my head for pennies on the dime

Just when I’m ready to stare into the void

Here come more mosquitos to keep me annoyed

There’s not enough bug spray on the planet

To make the army of bastards suddenly vanish

There’s not enough fire to match all my anger

To turn this epic war into an apocalyptic banger

I sleep for the night, no buzzing in my dreams

Then I awaken to see them swarming in teams

Being fucked up in the head is a lifelong job

No vacation days, those are only for slobs

No lunch breaks when I want to eat the rich

No free healthcare, pay for every single stitch

If fighting mental mosquitos is a real vocation

I’m the regional manager of every location

I ain’t the CEO, because I have no control

I ain’t the president, just look at the poll

I’d ask for my flowers, but the bugs like plants

Just keep kicking my ass, I’ll drop my pants

They don’t call it an insect infestation

They call it schizophrenia and call me a patient

The Schizophrenic's Creed

I am a schizophrenic

I didn’t ask to be one

I didn’t choose this life for myself

This life chose me

There are others like me who suffer as I do

But I am more than a statistic

I am a dreamer

I am a survivor

I am a warrior fighting against my past

My traumas are not my fault

I deserve better treatment from the world

Despite knowing this, my schizophrenia is still a part of me

It cannot be gaslit away

It cannot be prayed away

It is a disease just like any other

It’s no different from a fever

It’s a psychological cancer

The reason it exists is to destroy me from within

It has no other purpose

It is a curse I carry until the day I die

Hopefully, that day will come slowly

I have so much to do in this world despite my mind ghosts

I have people to love

I have art to create and consume

I have minds to change and hearts to care for

I do not know this yet and I may never know until it’s too late

But this world is a colder place without me and people like me

The world doesn’t love me, but I love the world

I’ll stay for as long as I can, even when my voices tell me lies

Amen!

Disconnect and Float Away

VERSE 1

Could’ve been an actor, but they never wanted me

They’d rather have a boy who doesn’t cry about sodomy

Instead of wildflowers and an Oscar or two

I dissociate and watch with a panoramic view

Let someone else fuck with the flying shield

Let Leo the Lion nip at someone else’s heels

Let the circle-eared mouse be the Speaker of the House

Let me wear a straightjacket, let them call it a blouse

CHORUS

Disconnect and float away

Fly to the same god in which you pray

Gravity may be a matter of physics

But crashing on your face is a matter of civics

VERSE 2

I hear the bootstrap rhetoric through a megaphone

But I dissociate in the comfort of my own home

Out of body experience, so I ain’t hearing this

Can’t buy a plane ticket, so it ain’t mysterious

A dick-shaped rocket can’t take me away from the discourse

Still get pissed on by the king and his horse

Send my brain into space, in a far away place

Where supernovas burn like a face full of mace

CHORUS

Disconnect and float away

Fly to the same god in which you pray

Gravity may be a matter of physics

But crashing on your face is a matter of civics

BRIDGE

Took a massive vacation from the deaths and inflation

Now the work has piled up like a crash in a train station

I could put it off until the end of my days

As long as someone else suffers and someone else pays

EXTENDED CHORUS

Disconnect and float away

Fly to the same god in which you pray

Gravity may be a matter of physics

But crashing on your face is a matter of civics

Disconnect and fly to the sun

For the time I’ve been given, it’s sure been fun

Come back to the earth, it’s a prison furlough

Freedom was nice, but I still hurt, though

Bend the Knee

VERSE 1

Get ready to bend the knee to King Petty

Your legs already feel like a piece of spaghetti

You live in my head, now it’s time to pay rent

I don’t care if you can’t afford to eat again

Blow you out my nose like I’m allergic to pollen

Blow you out my ass, it ain’t coming out solid

Which one is more tyrannical: a landlord or a king?

Depends on if your begging even means a thing

CHORUS 1

Bend the knee!

Bow to me!

Take my heed!

Or else you bleed!

VERSE 2

My storybook soldiers are always so loyal

Your graves are soil for the mighty and royal

Grow the tree of woe, put you in the Jesus pose

Drive spikes in your feet, bleed all over your toes

Drive spikes in your hands, quit jerking yourself

Leaving you to die is good for my health

“King Petty, King Petty, will you show me mercy?”

Hell to the no, your blood makes me thirsty

CHORUS 2

Bend the knee!

I ignore your plea!

Are you shitting me?!

You’re still guilty!

VERSE 3

All I want to do is slam dance to my music

All you want to do is blow my dynamite fuses

All I want to do is write my violent stories

All you want to do is leech off of my glory

You demons take credit for all of my fame

As though you and I are created the same

You’re a schizophrenic voice telling me to quit

Your ass is gone after I take my morning shit

CHORUS 3

Bend the knee!

Suck up to me!

You’re still a flea!

Carrying a disease!

Brain parasite!

Fuck my dreams at night!

Bend the knee to me!

Because I’m always right!