Gunnery Sgt. Hartman from Full Metal Jacket vs. Schizophrenic Voices (Rest in Peace, R. Lee Ermey)

 

The Anti-Garrison: He's Like the Antichrist, But For Me, Garrison

 

Every bully and abuser I've ever had is a brainwashed cult member. The Anti-Garrison is their god.

The Friars Club

 

Yes, I know the Friars Club is defunct now, but if they ever get revived, Benny boy would make a hell of a roasting victim. He loves being the victim. It's not second nature to him. It's first!

Living in a Box vs. Your Average Guru Gossiper (Rest in Peace, Richard Darbyshire)

 

Always Wrong

You call me lazy while you sit on the couch

You call me fat while your gut’s sticking out

You call me expendable and wave your pink slip

You call me an idiot while your IQ takes a dip

You call me ugly while your lover is puking

You call me a simp while it’s her you’re abusing

You call me a loser while you’re floundering about

You call me a deadbeat while your future’s in doubt

You call me a snowflake while your eyes are pouring

You say I’m wasting my time while your life is boring

You say I’m virtue signaling to an audience of few

Yet the back of your truck says you “Back the Blue”

You’re running your mouth and you say it’s free speech

But all of my freedoms are somehow just out of reach

You abuse the constitution to make yourself feel strong

You’re not a model of strength, because you’re always wrong!

Always wrong! Always wrong!

I’ll say it over and over across a lifetime so long

Always wrong! Always wrong!

It’s a never-ending chorus for a never-ending song

Always wrong! Always wrong!

Always wrong! Always wrong!

Always wrong! Always wrong!

How are you a threat when you’re always wrong?!

You're All Nazis

To every boomer who told me to get a job

To every victim blamer who laughed when I sobbed

To every ableist who called me lazy

To every bully who labeled me a baby

To every dude bro shouting from their cars

To every mean drunk who frequents all the bars

To every cop who ever patted me down

To every invalidator who told me not to frown

To every teacher who tried to break me

To every pervert who wanted to rape me

To everybody who threw their insults

Got a name for you all if you get that impulse

 

You’re all Nazis! You’re all Nazis!

Do your salute for the swarming paparazzi

Tell the world who you really are

Expose your evil like a fascist superstar

Be honest about your status as an asshole

Make it obvious that you should lose the battle

The war too, let’s not forget the bloodshed

Clean sweep you all, never be an upset

Victory, you’ll all go down in history

For being on the wrong side, the ones who cause misery

Admit to my face that you’re worthy of hate

So I can pack a 45 and seal your fate

A bullet to the dome is what you needed all along

So much evidence against you, how could I be wrong?

Close your eyes, here comes a non-surprise

Bang-bang-bang! Now you lay down and die

One Million Murderers

VERSE 1

Some people kill for a living

It’s the only contribution they’re giving

Some people kill because it’s fun

To call transgender daughters sons

Some people kill for their belief

That the world is populated by thieves

Some people kill with their words

The most racist shit you’ve ever heard

 

CHORUS

What’s the difference between trolls and serial killers?

Nothing! Nothing!

What’s the difference between Red and Black Pillers?

Not a goddamn thing!

What’s the difference between a bigot and a bully?

Not a whole lot that I can see!

What’s the difference when everybody’s hurting her?

All I see is one million murderers!

 

VERSE 2

Keyboard Kung Fu isn’t a real martial art

But with a gun in your hand, it’s not a bad start

A You Tube hit piece isn’t cinematic heaven

You did no research, what are you, in grade seven?

Pizza Bombing never leveled Hiroshima

You’re just a walking disaster, someone call FEMA

A birth certificate isn’t a flag worth flying

Instead of doxing, try boxing, fists up, stop crying

 

CHORUS

What’s the difference between trolls and serial killers?

Nothing! Nothing!

What’s the difference between Red and Black Pillers?

Not a goddamn thing!

What’s the difference between a bigot and a bully?

Not a whole lot that I can see!

What’s the difference when everybody’s hurting her?

All I see is one million murderers!

 

BRIDGE

Lez-be honest, you fell in love with her

Masturbation fantasies were all a blur

You want her to blow, but she said no

Pull the trigger, dick gets bigger, and then call her a ho

 

CHORUS

What’s the difference between trolls and serial killers?

Nothing! Nothing!

What’s the difference between Red and Black Pillers?

Not a goddamn thing!

What’s the difference between a bigot and a bully?

Not a whole lot that I can see!

What’s the difference when everybody’s hurting her?

All I see is one million murderers!

Be My Zealot

VERSE 1

Second chances just don’t feel right

You had so many, the count’s out of sight

More than a bastard should ever deserve

New high score, stroke yourself, you perv

The gates of heaven have a permanent lock

I’ve stuffed the key down the front of my jock

Bolt cutters won’t get you past the arches

Now you’re a target for angelic archers

 

PRE-CHORUS 1

You want forgiveness? This is all you have to do

 

CHORUS

Be my zealot

Be my fanatic

I’ll be your god

Your reason to panic

Give me your body

Give me your soul

Give me your mind

Absolute control

Be my zealot!

 

VERSE 2

You spent so long raping my eardrums

With punch-down humor, your favorite fun

You spent so long renting space in my head

You’ll pay that debt long after you’re dead

You spent so long ripping out my heart

Breaking it so many times, I don’t know where to start

You spent so long ignoring my demands

To stop the insanity, ‘cause I won’t let it stand

 

PRE-CHORUS 1

You want forgiveness? This is all you have to do

 

CHORUS

Be my zealot

Be my fanatic

I’ll be your god

Your reason to panic

Give me your body

Give me your soul

Give me your mind

Absolute control

Be my zealot!

 

BRIDGE

The day of your funeral has finally arrived

Nobody showed up, so there’re no tears to cry

I walk past the steel gates with a heavy bladder

Pull out my pecker, your grave gets the splatter

 

PRE-CHORUS 2

It’s too late for forgiveness, so now that you’re in hell

 

CHORUS

Be my zealot

Be my fanatic

I’ll be your god

Your reason to panic

Give me your body

Give me your soul

Give me your mind

Absolute control

Be my zealot!

Judgment Day (Never Back Down)

When Judgment Day comes, may I never back down

May I strike the match and burn it all to the ground

Sticks and stones are going to break my bones

And then you can film it all on your new iPhone

Names will never hurt me, but we know that’s a lie

It’s the buzzing in my brain that makes me want to die

Don’t call it Cancel Culture, ‘cause it’s consequences

It’s called the First Amendment, in all of your defenses

I don’t need whole army to make my excuses

Anything they do will end up being so useless

Let the town square pull out their own hair

‘Cause rage and depravation are their arms to bear

When shit comes to an end, none of us are right

Subjectivity is why we all love to fight

We see the fucked up world through our own lenses

And then bite down on our jaws with stressful intentions

Can we come together? Why would we want to?

To be fair I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near you

All this zealot fire and not a new thing was learned

We still hate each other and the world still burned

All this strangulation over one of my songs

Keep the message simple, just tell me that I’m wrong

On any given day, I could be weak or strong

I ebb and flow so much, yet I’m floundering along

I guess I’ll go back to my comfort zone

And never have to care about those sticks and stones

Judgment Day passed and I never backed down

I’ll see you all tomorrow, we can take it back around

Asking Too Much

Am I asking too much when I tell you to stop?

Did I break any laws, Mr. Keystone Cop?

I refuse to be someone’s damsel in distress

I shouldn’t have my freedoms be put to the test

Am I asking too much when I say back off?

I hate your stupid jokes, does that mean I’m soft?

I refuse to take abuse from my inner circle

I shouldn’t have bruises of black and purple

Am I asking too much just to live my life?

Do I need permission from a nonexistent wife?

I refuse to dignify your insults with a response

I shouldn’t have to justify my needs and wants

Am I asking too much to flee the country?

Can I do it with my own hard-earned money?

I refuse to let you take control of my cash

I shouldn’t have to watch it burn into ash

Am I asking too much to forget the pain?

The kind that feels like getting hit by a train?

I refuse to let the past put me in the grave

I shouldn’t have to be my own traumatic slave

Am I asking too much? No, I’m clearly not

I’m undoing all the damage of shitty lessons taught

I refuse to carry on without breaking the cycle

I shouldn’t bear the burden of a bastard psycho

I’m asking very little

No meeting in the middle

I’m a human fucking being

That’s all you should be seeing

Calling You Out

CHORUS

I’m calling you out! I’m calling you out!

The gangster-gangster-gangsters are calling you out!

I do it ‘cause I care! I do it ‘cause I care!

But when you need me the most, I’m never ever there!

VERSE 1

When I’m walking down the street in the summer heat

I might get my ass beat for a yucky-yucky Tweet

Cancel culture isn’t real, but I still don’t like the feel

Of high pitched squeals beating me down like steel

Rapid fire insults are like punches to my gut

They wouldn’t know my pain if it bit them on the butt

I’ll do all my Tweeting from a padded prison cell

You’re the villains of the story, in case you can’t tell

CHORUS

I’m calling you out! I’m calling you out!

The gangster-gangster-gangsters are calling you out!

I do it ‘cause I care! I do it ‘cause I care!

But when you need me the most, I’m never ever there!

VERSE 2

You’re like the pizza-pizza guy from Little Caesar’s

Just say “gangster-gangster”, you My Pillow squeezer

That’s what you really are: a gangster in the dark

Creeping on me while I’m walking through the park

I could never run fast, I would always finish last

In a marathon sprint, put me in a leg cast

Can’t get away from the fortune and the fame

Every fall from grace sounds about the same

CHORUS

I’m calling you out! I’m calling you out!

The gangster-gangster-gangsters are calling you out!

I do it ‘cause I care! I do it ‘cause I care!

But when you need me the most, I’m never ever there!

VERSE 3

I’m eating with my friends, I’m eating with my family

You say my words are crazy while you suffer from insanity

You made your point about fifty years ago, my guy

You’d think by now that it dissolved into a lie

CHORUS

I’m calling you out! I’m calling you out!

The gangster-gangster-gangsters are calling you out!

I do it ‘cause I care! I do it ‘cause I care!

But when you need me the most, I’m never ever there!

Impostor Syndrome

VERSE 1

Raindrops on my window, I’ll stay home today

No point in getting wet when I go out and play

No point in getting off my comfortable mattress

If I stay in bed, I can’t be hated by the masses

Putting fingers to keyboard is career suicide

If I fuck up once, then nobody’s on my side

Impostor Syndrome is burying my body alive

No dreams to pursue, no need to really strive

CHORUS 1

Maybe my inner critic has a damn good point

Maybe my answers are traveling an empty void

Maybe this little song is just cacophonic noise

Impostor Syndrome, like I really have a choice

VERSE 2

“Too offensive, too dense, too ugly, too fat

Too young, too stupid, too this, too that

Too many mistakes, don’t you ever learn?

Not enough achievements, nothing to earn”

CHORUS 1

Maybe my inner critic has a damn good point

Maybe my answers are traveling an empty void

Maybe this little song is just cacophonic noise

Impostor Syndrome, like I really have a choice

BRIDGE

“Don’t you cry, you brought this on yourself

All your life’s work will never leave the shelf

What life’s work? Oh yeah, you don’t have any

How many years did you waste? Too damn many”

CHORUS 2

Maybe my inner critic is teaching me a lesson

Maybe my outer critics should be holding weapons

Maybe the universe has come to collect the rent

Impostor Syndrome a.k.a. the never-ending debt

Impostor Syndrome a.k.a. the reason I’m dead

WHISPERY DIALOGUE

Shh…Shh…It’s okay

Everything will be okay

You just fell down a rabbit hole again

You’re still mourning

You have to make peace with the past

And the present

And the future

Everything will be okay

I promise you

I love you

I always will

Dean McLean the Macho Marine

VERSE 1

I call it ethnic cleansing, you call it spring cleaning

Took the word democracy, completely changed its meaning

Then you come back to the world to yell at your wife

And make a living hell out of my own goddamn life

Dropping your pants, showing me your dirty ass

Teabagging on Halo like you’re teaching pimp class

Ding-dong-ditch while you call me your little bitch

But these are just jokes designed to rip the last stitch

CHORUS

Dean McLean the Macho Marine!

The manliest man you’ve ever seen!

Ends justify the meanest of means!

Yell “Hoorah!” like a fighting machine!

Dean McLean the Macho Marine!

VERSE 2

You blame your worst mistakes on PTSD

It’ll take more than that to fool little old me

I set my boundaries and you knock them down

Play the biggest victim in the whole damn town

Everyone around you thanks you for your service

“Freedom isn’t free!”, now where have I heard this?

They’re buzzwords to justify machinegun fire

If only more people would see you as a liar

CHORUS

Dean McLean the Macho Marine!

The manliest man you’ve ever seen!

Ends justify the meanest of means!

Yell “Hoorah!” like a fighting machine!

Dean McLean the Macho Marine!

VERSE 3

I don’t give a damn about your Star Spangled Banner

It doesn’t mean shit when you lack basic manners

I don’t give a damn about your big fucking truck

You can drive it through sewage, get yourself stuck

I don’t give a damn about your precious Purple Heart

You probably dug it out from a box of Pop Tarts

Your insults and pranks were disguised as friendship

“Marine humor” to get you through a war so endless

PRE-CHORUS

The only twenty-one gun salute you’ll get

Is when they aim the rifles right at your head

Sociopathic brains run down the sewer drain

Thank you for your service, you little shit stain!

CHORUS

Dean McLean the Macho Marine!

The manliest man you’ve ever seen!

Ends justify the meanest of means!

Yell “Hoorah!” like a fighting machine!

Dean McLean the Macho Marine!

Save the World

 VERSE 1

I talked some shit online about Dumbass Donald

And his favorite butt puppet Moscow McConnell

I got a million replies telling me I should die

Telling me they’ll drink my liberal tears if I cry

I got a head full of demons and nothing accomplished

Couldn’t find anything we could share in common

But at least I performed my own civic duty

Even though my mind is melting into something gooey

CHORUS

Why does everybody expect me to save the world?

By myself! With nobody else!

Why does everybody expect me to have superpowers?

I wasn’t born tough! I’m just a traumatized coward!

VERSE 2

I went to the protest and held up my cardboard sign

Got a face full of mace and now I’m legally blind

Got a beer bottle broken over my pretty little head

If I come for round two, they’ll shoot my ass dead

I got a hospital bill and not a damn thing changed

I’ve got years of therapy, who’s willing to pay?

But at least I can say that I’ve got some big balls

I hope they’ll help against my debt collection calls

CHORUS

Why does everybody expect me to save the world?

By myself! With nobody else!

Why does everybody expect me to have superpowers?

I wasn’t born tough! I’m just a traumatized coward!

BRIDGE

Is it too much to ask that I see some results

To go with my beatings and bigoted insults?

Is it too much to ask for systematic reform

When dystopia has become the new norm?

Is it too much to ask for some compensation

When I’m crucified by the Teabag nation?

Is it too much to ask that my efforts matter

Or should we keep making the fat cats fatter?

VERSE 3

I went to the courthouse and filed a lawsuit

Against everybody who dared to lick boots

Case dragged on for a whole millennium

I couldn’t outspend every single defendant

I did my best and not a fucking thing improved

No tears for me, because nobody was moved

I guess you could tell me, “Welcome to the club”

Before you beat my ass with it, stain it in blood

EXTENDED CHORUS

Why does everybody expect me to save the world?

By myself! With nobody else!

Why does everybody expect me to have superpowers?

I wasn’t born tough! I’m just a traumatized coward!

Why does everybody think I’ve got what it takes

Then brush it all off with the phrase, “That’s the breaks?”

Why can’t I just lay in bed with my pretty kitty?

I’m not Batman and this is not Gotham City!

Crash Your Car

 VERSE 1

Screaming obscenities from your death machine

You’ve got some testicles the size of jelly beans

You’ve got a backbone like a number two pencil

Proudly write that shit down on a military stencil

It’s the luck of the draw that the two of us meet

Your party can only win if they fucking cheat

You can yell that shit with a bullhorn blaster

Your leash gets tighter in the hands of your master

CHORUS 1

I hope you crash your car and break your neck

I hope you burn to ashes in a fiery wreck

Maybe in the next life you should pump the brakes

Not confirm to the world your birth was a mistake

VERSE 2

I know we’ll never ever see each other again

If you have any left, go hide behind your friends

Go hide behind the privilege you had since a baby

Stop spitting your hatred like a mouthful of rabies

CHORUS 2

I hope you crash your car and break your ass

Unleash some sewage in your seat as well as gas

Maybe in the next life you should make a U-turn

Your vocabulary ain’t got room for sick burns

VERSE 3

The world left your ass behind a long time ago

Your noisy engine is fast, but your mind is slow

Maybe if you floor the pedal, you might catch up

But nobody’s allegiance is yours to snatch up

CHORUS 3

I hope you crash your car and smash your skull

With a fractured jaw, it’s hard to talk some bull

With a splattered brain, you’re not changing much

Maybe in the next life you should pull the clutch

I hope you crash your car and burn forever in hell

You’ll be dancing forever in a pyromantic spell

Maybe if you make your way back to the earth

You can be somebody who isn’t lower than dirt

Are You Alive?

OPENING LINE
You owe it to society to be better than your tormentors, not worse.

VERSE 1
Remember when I was fourteen years old?
You and your friends took away my soul
You cracked some jokes about my pole
Lied about me sticking it in the ugliest holes
The conspiracy spread throughout school
Believed by every white bread redneck fool
And to this day I’ll always wonder
If you can still hear my voice of thunder

CHORUS 1
Are you alive or are you dead?
Why are you renting space in my head?
Am I insane or was I right all along?
When do I get to be the hero so strong?

VERSE 2
Remember when the year was 2003?
I had stars in my eyes, a head full of dreams
But all I remember about that year
Was your insults buzzing in my ear
Grew up believing I would never be loved
By a man to whom I shouldn’t have looked up
And to this day I’ll always ask
Why your words always poured from your ass

CHORUS 2
Are you alive or are you dead?
I’d rather you were the latter instead
Am I crazy or do I have a point?
Was this all just a combat boot to the groin?

BRIDGE
I’m so tired of your excuses
I’m so tired of feeling useless
Break the cycle of my abuses
So I can finally hear the music

VERSE 3
Remember when the year was 2009?
Everybody moved on, left me behind
I’m sick of hearing, “Get a life!”
From those who stabbed my back with a knife
I can’t move on and follow my ambitions
Got a bottle of pills and shitty nutrition
And to this day I’ll sit and wait
For the world to give up on its hate

CHORUS 3
Are we alive or are we dead?
Do we lie awake in our beds?
Am I nuts or is it true
That I grew up to be like you?

Take My Demons Away

VERSE 1

Just reach inside my head, pull them out one-by-one

You don’t have to tie the noose or fire the loaded gun

You make it sound so easy to forget the fucking past

Your argument is worthless and it’ll never even last

CHORUS

Take the bone saw and open up my head

Disconnect the memories until they’re dead

If it’s really so easy it could be done in a day

Then by all means, take my demons away!

Take my demons away!

VERSE 2

It’s a simple magic trick that anybody can do

Both of us already know that isn’t fucking true

A wave of a wand or some Fantasia fireworks

Are you my new savior or just a fucking jerk?

CHORUS

Take the bone saw and open up my head

Disconnect the memories until they’re dead

If it’s really so easy it could be done in a day

Then by all means, take my demons away!

Take my demons away!

BRIDGE

Your magic potions smell like bleach

A clear mind is something you can’t teach

Your expectations are too far out of reach

Indoctrination is something you can’t preach!

Take my demons away!

Take my demons away!

CHORUS

Take the bone saw and open up my head

Disconnect the memories until they’re dead

If it’s really so easy it could be done in a day

Then by all means, take my demons away!

Take my demons away!

Let Them Cry

VERSE 1

There’s always one asshole out of the bunch

Who wants to eat your self-esteem for lunch

He doesn’t like the way you dress

He wouldn’t hate your ass any less

He doesn’t like the way you look

Punishes you for the chance you took

He can’t stand the fact that you’re even alive

He has the maturity of someone less than five

CHORUS

Let them cry! Let them cry!

For you are many and will never die!

Let them cry! Let them cry!

Until their eyeballs are fucking dry!

VERSE 2

Some people hate everything on the planet

Calling everybody “freaks” and “faggots”

Some people don’t know what happiness is

Some people have the mental age of six

CHORUS

Let them cry! Let them cry!

For you are many and will never die!

Let them cry! Let them cry!

Until their eyeballs are fucking dry!

BRIDGE

Don’t let the world get you down

Don’t listen to their asonia sounds

Don’t change for any woman or man

Giant size is how tall you’ll stand

VERSE 3

Take your success and laugh in his face

Let him cringe like his eyes are full of mace

Let him crawl into his safest space

You’ve earned your right to run this place

EXTENDED CHORUS

Let them cry! Let them cry!

For you are many and will never die!

Let them cry! Let them cry!

Until their eyeballs are fucking dry!

Let them whine! Let them bitch!

Let them crawl into a ditch!

Let them cry until the end of time!

Their two cents aren’t worth a thin dime!

Your Name Is Motherfucker

VERSE 1

Dehumanize you like you do to your foes

It’s such a mature tactic as everyone knows

I don’t care what it says on your ID card

Your name is motherfucker, now play the part

Your name is dip-shit, your name is jackass

A whole lot of flash, but not a lot of class

I can be cool and edgy just like your bitch ass

But in the end, we’re going nowhere fast

CHORUS

Your name is motherfucker! X4

VERSE 2

Can’t we talk to each other like grown men?

Or on a sour note will our conversation end?

Your name is mud, your name is bullshit

Drag you through them both if I so wish

CHORUS

Your name is motherfucker! X4

BRIDGE

You did it to yourself with nobody’s help

Put us all through hell with the lies you tell

Defamation and subjugation

Diplomacy has become lost in translation

VERSE 3

Don’t blame the victim, blame the attacker

Don’t use the words of a middle school slacker

Don’t build and army of trolls and assholes

Don’t build a wall of your critics’ skulls

Your name is coward, your name is lunatic

Your past is covered with abusiveness

Your name is six-double-five-three-two-one

It’s the number on your orange uniform, son

CHORUS

Your name is motherfucker! X8

Cold War

VERSE 1

I could do this all day long

Got to show that I am strong

I’ll wait for you to cool down

To minimize the angry sounds

You fought with me and lost

Stop thinking you’re the boss

This cold war is mine to win

Only then can we both grin

CHORUS

A slap to the face

Then I turned away

Escape from this place

For at least a day

Silence rules this domain

As we bottle up this pain

What are we fighting for?

It’s just another cold war

VERSE 2

This could end when you say sorry

We could end our little pity party

My door is open only for the calm

Until then, you’re locked in the hall

Pile bookcases against the door

It’s shelter for the coldest wars

Blast my music to drown you out

Go ahead and try to shout me down

CHORUS

A slap to the face

Then I turned away

Escape from this place

For at least a day

Silence rules this domain

As we bottle up this pain

What are we fighting for?

It’s just another cold war

BRIDGE

Stupid reasons, stupid words

Yet we never seem to learn

Stupid outcome, stupid shame

As we play the blame game

Was it worth it in the end?

Losing yet another friend?

Check your ego at my door

Put an end to this cold war

VERSE 3

Silence is an introvert’s favorite thing

Especially when the heartache stings

I’m still waiting, but I’ll never crack

You’ll be the first to stab me in the back

CHORUS

A slap to the face

Then I turned away

Escape from this place

For at least a day

Silence rules this domain

As we bottle up this pain

What are we fighting for?

It’s just another cold war