A History of Violence...Against Internet Trolls

 

You're All Nazis

To every boomer who told me to get a job

To every victim blamer who laughed when I sobbed

To every ableist who called me lazy

To every bully who labeled me a baby

To every dude bro shouting from their cars

To every mean drunk who frequents all the bars

To every cop who ever patted me down

To every invalidator who told me not to frown

To every teacher who tried to break me

To every pervert who wanted to rape me

To everybody who threw their insults

Got a name for you all if you get that impulse

 

You’re all Nazis! You’re all Nazis!

Do your salute for the swarming paparazzi

Tell the world who you really are

Expose your evil like a fascist superstar

Be honest about your status as an asshole

Make it obvious that you should lose the battle

The war too, let’s not forget the bloodshed

Clean sweep you all, never be an upset

Victory, you’ll all go down in history

For being on the wrong side, the ones who cause misery

Admit to my face that you’re worthy of hate

So I can pack a 45 and seal your fate

A bullet to the dome is what you needed all along

So much evidence against you, how could I be wrong?

Close your eyes, here comes a non-surprise

Bang-bang-bang! Now you lay down and die

Rest in Power, Gay Reynolds

 His driver’s license said Gabriel, he went by Gay

He’d do anything and anyone to get his fat payday

He had the 70’s moustache and a tray full of ash

Viagra and cocaine tucked inside his private stash

Eight hours of on-camera sex was what he had

A waterfall climax until his pecker looked so sad

For god knows how much money, the gig wasn’t bad

No longer will he miss a payment on his bachelor pad

Couldn’t find this kind of cheddar jockeying a cash box

Couldn’t find all these greenbacks curing smallpox

Would end up on the streets if he went to school to teach

Couldn’t cut it as a field hand picking every last peach

But the biggest price he paid when he got himself laid

Was some protests on his lawn and some online shade

More DM’s in his inbox than he could possibly delete

Asking for a free fuck, on their marriages they cheat

Every judgmental eye stares some daggers in his soul

They know about every hole, terrorism is their goal

A Molotov bomb thrown through his front window

Before they even get a chance to try to fucking know

What his struggles really are, explosives in his car

Blowing every little piece of him fifty feet apart

Why all of the hate for a guy trying to get by?

Couldn’t win against capitalism even if he tried

No love from the police, not a desist or a cease

Not even a bodyguard with a wild pay increase

The world learned to hate, so they sealed his fate

Could’ve been a porno legend, could’ve been great

Everybody mocks what they don’t understand

Rest in Power, Gay Reynolds, in the Promised Land

Never did he know that he left behind a daughter

Mother was a fellow actress also led to slaughter

A kid in foster care never stood a chance there

I wouldn’t blame her if she was constantly scared

Calling out for her parents but the bullies answer

Wishing her to have a malignant form of cancer

Who is anybody to point and laugh and judge?

Roles were reversed? Life would be just as tough

The Big Kids

VERSE 1

Face Book liars who never retire

Instagram trolls looking for holes

Twitter tough guys in disguise

Big kids, big dicks, Heisman prize

Pushing skinny geeks to the ground

Reading their poetry in public out loud

Trolling them online all the damn time

Big trucks, big nuts, excused from crime

CHROUS 1

You are!

The big kids!

The hot shits!

The jock twins!

VERSE 2

All you motherfuckers look exactly the same

With your internet perfection and easy fame

Violent pranks played on those of lower rank

Suicidal wet dreams for the victims it seems

Black belts, letter jackets, everything you want

Money, cheerleaders, whatever you can rob

Counting down the days until summer vacation

We take out our aggression on the Playstation

EXTENDED CHROUS 1

You are!

The big kids!

The hot shits!

The jock twins!

You are!

The jarheads!

The well-fed!

The hand-led!

VERSE 3

Gamer Gate sexism turned up to eleven

Guaranteed your own cloud in the heavens

Guaranteed the keys to your own kingdom

Glass ceiling fantasy for those beneath it

Guaranteed a job for life on the cop squad

Even when we prove you’re just a fraud

Even when the corpses continue to mount

Even when this country starts to go south

EXTENDED CHROUS 2

You are!

The big kids!

The hot shits!

The jock twins!

You are!

The rich pricks!

The big dicks!

The groin kicks!

VERSE 4

Now you’re all alone with a fucking concussion

Everything you read might as well be in Russian

You burned all the bridges, betrayed your bitches

Nobody is left to help you remove your stitches

Football, trucks, money, and booze

Girls, weapons, so sure you’ll never lose

Shallow values and deep graves

You had it all, yet continued to crave

CHORUS 2

You are!

A dead soul!

An asshole!

Left in the cold!

FINAL LINES

The big kids! X4

Do It For Her

When everything in the world seems to hurt

Just remember that you’re doing this for her

Every hour you work for draconian wages

Is so that she can live beyond young ages

Every sleepless night marked with baggy eyes

Is so that she doesn’t have to grow up to cry

Is it worth the pain? Would you do it all again?

Damn right you would, my hardworking friend

Some things are more important than agony

To say otherwise is the highest form of blasphemy

The future grows darker every single day

Even in dystopia, she needs sunshine rays

Should experience happiness while she’s alive

The world is there for your daughter to thrive

She can be a dreamer, really anything she wants

In spite of politicians who throw their taunts

In spite of billionaires who don’t want to share

In spite of bullies who don’t seem to care

While everything else may feel like a blur

Never forget that you’re doing this for her