The Big Kids

VERSE 1

Face Book liars who never retire

Instagram trolls looking for holes

Twitter tough guys in disguise

Big kids, big dicks, Heisman prize

Pushing skinny geeks to the ground

Reading their poetry in public out loud

Trolling them online all the damn time

Big trucks, big nuts, excused from crime

CHROUS 1

You are!

The big kids!

The hot shits!

The jock twins!

VERSE 2

All you motherfuckers look exactly the same

With your internet perfection and easy fame

Violent pranks played on those of lower rank

Suicidal wet dreams for the victims it seems

Black belts, letter jackets, everything you want

Money, cheerleaders, whatever you can rob

Counting down the days until summer vacation

We take out our aggression on the Playstation

EXTENDED CHROUS 1

You are!

The big kids!

The hot shits!

The jock twins!

You are!

The jarheads!

The well-fed!

The hand-led!

VERSE 3

Gamer Gate sexism turned up to eleven

Guaranteed your own cloud in the heavens

Guaranteed the keys to your own kingdom

Glass ceiling fantasy for those beneath it

Guaranteed a job for life on the cop squad

Even when we prove you’re just a fraud

Even when the corpses continue to mount

Even when this country starts to go south

EXTENDED CHROUS 2

You are!

The big kids!

The hot shits!

The jock twins!

You are!

The rich pricks!

The big dicks!

The groin kicks!

VERSE 4

Now you’re all alone with a fucking concussion

Everything you read might as well be in Russian

You burned all the bridges, betrayed your bitches

Nobody is left to help you remove your stitches

Football, trucks, money, and booze

Girls, weapons, so sure you’ll never lose

Shallow values and deep graves

You had it all, yet continued to crave

CHORUS 2

You are!

A dead soul!

An asshole!

Left in the cold!

FINAL LINES

The big kids! X4

My Body

VERSE 1

My body’s a temple, my mind is the priest

Society’s standards don’t apply in the least

I never resist a Thanksgiving-style feast

Take an alligator bite out of the roasted beast

There’s no shame in having a belly like mine

As long as your meal tastes delicious and fine

Never mind the magazines, they only print lies

Everybody loves the taste of salty French fries

CHORUS

I’ll eat how I want; I’ll do what I please

Shallow values will bring you to your knees

My body, my rules; don’t tell me what’s cool

Your muscle head makes you a giant fool

VERSE 2

You’ve got a stacked chest and chiseled arms

The steroids you take are bringing you harm

The smoothies you drink taste like raw sewage

Spinach and splooge, how could you do it?

You laugh at anybody with a big old gut

Tell them to lay off the food at Pizza Hut

Tell them to do sit-ups until their abs are sore

You’re the one with your legs up like a whore

CHORUS

I’ll eat how I want; I’ll do what I please

Shallow values will bring you to your knees

My body, my rules; don’t tell me what’s cool

Your muscle head makes you a giant fool

VERSE 3

I don’t give a shit who’s on the magazine covers

I don’t give a shit about your supermodel lovers

I don’t give a shit about your Cross-Fit routine

You’ve still got balls the size of jelly beans

Quit stabbing yourself with the needle full of juice

Before your heart stops and your bowels are loose

You’re not Arnold Schwarzenegger or Terry Crews

You’re just a jock frat boy with too much booze

CHORUS 2

I’ll eat how I want; don’t give me advice

I’ll have the crispy duck with beef fried rice

My body, my way; I’ll be here all day

And live longer than you anyway

I’ll eat how I want; I don’t give a fuck

All those exercises must really suck

You torture your body for the hottest chicks

The bigger the needle, the smaller the dick