Chelsea Green from WWE vs. Your Average Twitter Psycho, Who Is Not a Real Leftist, But a LARPer

 

Scammer Jammer: the Official Guide to Dealing with Telephone Scammers

 

Rest in Power, Gay Reynolds

 His driver’s license said Gabriel, he went by Gay

He’d do anything and anyone to get his fat payday

He had the 70’s moustache and a tray full of ash

Viagra and cocaine tucked inside his private stash

Eight hours of on-camera sex was what he had

A waterfall climax until his pecker looked so sad

For god knows how much money, the gig wasn’t bad

No longer will he miss a payment on his bachelor pad

Couldn’t find this kind of cheddar jockeying a cash box

Couldn’t find all these greenbacks curing smallpox

Would end up on the streets if he went to school to teach

Couldn’t cut it as a field hand picking every last peach

But the biggest price he paid when he got himself laid

Was some protests on his lawn and some online shade

More DM’s in his inbox than he could possibly delete

Asking for a free fuck, on their marriages they cheat

Every judgmental eye stares some daggers in his soul

They know about every hole, terrorism is their goal

A Molotov bomb thrown through his front window

Before they even get a chance to try to fucking know

What his struggles really are, explosives in his car

Blowing every little piece of him fifty feet apart

Why all of the hate for a guy trying to get by?

Couldn’t win against capitalism even if he tried

No love from the police, not a desist or a cease

Not even a bodyguard with a wild pay increase

The world learned to hate, so they sealed his fate

Could’ve been a porno legend, could’ve been great

Everybody mocks what they don’t understand

Rest in Power, Gay Reynolds, in the Promised Land

Never did he know that he left behind a daughter

Mother was a fellow actress also led to slaughter

A kid in foster care never stood a chance there

I wouldn’t blame her if she was constantly scared

Calling out for her parents but the bullies answer

Wishing her to have a malignant form of cancer

Who is anybody to point and laugh and judge?

Roles were reversed? Life would be just as tough

KKKaren

VERSE 1
Your first amendment rights
Shouldn’t lead to fist fights
Put on the goddamn mask
It’s not too much to ask
Put down your semiautomatic
Stop trying to be autocratic
Karen is spelled with three K’s
I could rant about you for days

VERSE 2
No, you can’t see the manager
About your faulty hamburger
No, you can’t call the police
To disturb a black guy’s peace
No, you can’t yell at clerks
Who’re only trying to work
Karen is spelled with three K’s
Who will be your next prey?

BRIDGE
You got your refund paid in full
Your jail time is void and null
You can go back to normalcy
And live your life so cordially
No, not you! You’re never happy
Cussing, screaming, shooting, slapping
Live and in color on a viral video
In case the news cycle was really slow

VERSE 3
You can apologize all you want
But only because you got caught
You can shed your river of tears
While your victims cower in fear
You can do it again to someone else
And never put the blame on yourself
Karen is spelled with three K’s
What more do I have to say?
Karen has an N at the end of it
Her favorite letter, racist sentiment
Karen is spelled with three K’s!

Your Name Is Motherfucker

VERSE 1

Dehumanize you like you do to your foes

It’s such a mature tactic as everyone knows

I don’t care what it says on your ID card

Your name is motherfucker, now play the part

Your name is dip-shit, your name is jackass

A whole lot of flash, but not a lot of class

I can be cool and edgy just like your bitch ass

But in the end, we’re going nowhere fast

CHORUS

Your name is motherfucker! X4

VERSE 2

Can’t we talk to each other like grown men?

Or on a sour note will our conversation end?

Your name is mud, your name is bullshit

Drag you through them both if I so wish

CHORUS

Your name is motherfucker! X4

BRIDGE

You did it to yourself with nobody’s help

Put us all through hell with the lies you tell

Defamation and subjugation

Diplomacy has become lost in translation

VERSE 3

Don’t blame the victim, blame the attacker

Don’t use the words of a middle school slacker

Don’t build and army of trolls and assholes

Don’t build a wall of your critics’ skulls

Your name is coward, your name is lunatic

Your past is covered with abusiveness

Your name is six-double-five-three-two-one

It’s the number on your orange uniform, son

CHORUS

Your name is motherfucker! X8