Nobody Can Pass a Purity Test, Because We're All Human Beings and Therefore Imperfect

 

DMX: Died Before Elon Musk Rebranded Twitter, Haunts Him From Beyond the Grave

 

Garrison Kelly vs. Elon Musk: Everybody's Got a Price...or Do They?

 

Bluesky: It's Still a Social Media Site and Dogpiling Over Little Shit Is Still a Problem

 

Cybertruck: The Only Vehicle That Will Get You a DUI Even Though You're Sober

 

Ariel Winter with the Sting Operation of the Century

 

Jerry Seinfeld: Living Proof That Not All Dinosaurs Were Wiped Out

 

Chelsea Green from WWE vs. Your Average Twitter Psycho, Who Is Not a Real Leftist, But a LARPer

 

Luke Skywalker vs. Ashley St. Clair: Cringe Culture Must Die

 

Gary "Space" Kadet: Hates Women, Loves the Smell of His Own Farts...and Also Those of His Sock Puppets

 

John Cleese: a Free Speech Warrior Who Can't Talk Because He's Licking J.K. Rowling's Boots

 

Lars Sullivan: Another Ex-WWE Loser Trying to Get Back in the Spotlight by Saying Stupid Shit Online

 

Linda McMahon: the Raw Sewage in the McMahon Family Gene Pool

 

Mike Cernovich: Blackbelt in Keyboard Karate, Not Even a White Belt in Real Martial Arts

 

George W. Bush: a War Criminal Who's Somehow Not as Bad as Trump

 

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez vs. Alex Stein: Since When Is Sexual Abuse Considered Free Speech?

 

Ken Jennings vs. Mike Richards: Careers in Jeopardy

 

Safeway vs. Twitter: What Is a Marketplace?

 

Tuomas Holopainen from Nightwish

 

Elon Musk and Vivian Wilson: Money For Nothing