BOOK TITLE: Wrestlecrap: the Very Worst of Pro Wrestling
AUTHORS: RD Reynolds and Randy Baer
YEAR: 2003
GENRE: Nonfiction
SUBGENRE: Wrestling Biography
GRADE: Pass
The history of professional wrestling has seen its fair
share of colorful characters and soap opera storylines. Wrestlecrap documents
the silliest of those gimmicks from the cartoonish WWF days in the 1980’s all
the way to 2003 when the book was published. Whether it’s a voodoo priest named
Papa Shango who put curses on his opponents, a magician who was one monocle away
from looking like Mr. Peanut, or a baseball player named MVP (Most Violent
Player) to name just a few, the idea was for various wrestling promoters to
throw something out there and to see what stuck. In many cases, they’re simply throwing
wrestle-crap.
The first quality I’d like to praise this book for is the
historical significance and research that went into writing it. The authors
traced the first real gimmick back to the 1950’s, when Gorgeous George, an
effeminate and arrogant athlete, would spray his opponents with perfume so that
they didn’t stink up the joint. In the 1980’s, Vince McMahon, CEO of WWF, would
take this inspiration and create the colorful characters that era was known
for, whether it was the muscle-bound superhero Hulk Hogan or the corrupt
millionaire Ted DiBiase. The late 90’s saw a period of more realistic shades of
gray characters with TV-14 rated bloodbaths and sex angles. But just like the
end of this biography says: the less things change, the more they stay the
same. New company, same old wrestle-crap. While some gimmicks stood the test of
time, most of them were too unbelievable to be taken seriously. Even in the
year 2017, nothing has changed.
As long as we’re having a laugh at these bizarre characters (not
the wrestlers portraying them, mind you), feel free to enjoy the lighthearted
and comedic writing style employed in this book. The style comes off as
extremely sarcastic and razor-tongued, but there are also some good zingers in
there to leave you chuckling as well. I mentioned the Mr. Peanut analogy in the
opening paragraph. There’s also a line about how Mantaur, a guy dressed in a
bull suit, looks like his costume was made by a deranged taxidermist at Disney
World. My favorite zinger in this whole book would have to be the author’s
answer to, “What could be better than [the plot of the Ready to Rumble movie]?”
A trip to the dentist. Getting beaten with a lead pipe. A Pauley Shore
movie marathon. I got a few chuckles just transcribing those lines. If wrestling
gimmicks and storylines are going to be silly, then expect nothing less than a
hearty laugh.
While it’s nice to have a few laughs at the expense of the
characters, never forget that RD Reynolds and Randy Baer are wrestling fans to
the core, which means they know when it’s time to get serious. Remember,
they’re poking fun at the characters, not the people playing them. They have
all the respect in the world for anybody who dares get in a wrestling ring to
ply their craft. It’s a tough job that taxes the human body like nothing else.
That’s why when I read about Renegade’s suicide, it legitimately broke my
heart. Say what you want about the guy’s wrestling ability, but he didn’t
deserve to have a gimmick completely ruin his life and send him spiraling into
the path he took. The way that segment was written was done tastefully and
respectfully, which is more than anybody could say about the promoters who
saddled the wrestlers with these awful gimmicks.
One thing I will criticize the book for is its occasional
grammatical errors. I say occasional because they don’t happen often enough for
me to downplay the fun I had reading this book. But noticeable they are, such
as when there are dashes in between words that are already whole. It’s as if
the book formatting placed the hyphenated words at the end of a sentence in the
middle of the paragraph. It looks awkward and doesn’t paint a good picture of
anybody who takes up writing as a profession. However, I still give this book a
passing grade for knowing when to be funny, knowing when to be serious, and
caring enough about the sport to delve into its history. Wrestlecrap is nothing
to sneeze at (the book, not the actual crap).
