Santiago McGuinn: Tracey Clyde's Bodyguard from "Dungeon of Love"

 

Dr. Sanjay Patel: The Head Doctor Who Also Runs the Psych Ward from "My Favorite Magazine"

 

Roswell Bennett: the Ultra-Strict Master Judge in "Jumping For Jesus"

 

Robb Sugar: Marine Who Loves Prison in...Well..."Marines Love Prison"

 

Rachal Daddio: Tough-Minded Orderly from "My Favorite Magazine"

 

Cammy White: Make Love, Not War

 

Hot take: it's okay to sexualize fictional characters, because they won't get traumatized and go to therapy. Real people, on the other hand, are off limits.

Quine Roseman, Edge Lord Comedian from "When They Go Low, Punch Lower" (What the Fuck Is a Chicagofornian?)

 

Paiten Markoff, Justice-Hungry Teenager from "My Favorite Magazine"

 

Commander Orpheus Rinehart, Far-Right Mercenary from "Savage Beatings" and "Beautiful Monster"

 

Cat R. Scott vs. Garrison's Autism, a Common Opponent These Days

 

Ophelia Cornell: Legendary Serial Killer from "Dungeon of Love"

 

Noella Klarke, Conformist Commander from "The Meat Squadron"

 

Meat Squadron Soldier from "The Meat Squadron" (DUH!)

 

Marigold DiAngelo, Because You Can't Have "Emilio & Marigold" Without Her

 

Marcus Brock, Dirty Detective from "Virtuous"

 

Marcelis Galvani, Religious Scammer from "Jumping for Jesus"

 

Lyndin Wheatstone, Innkeeper and Wheatstone Patriarch from "The King Smells Like Formaldehyde"

 

Luigi DiAngelo, Marigold's Grandfather from "Emilio & Marigold"

 

Lorraine Longo, Paiten's Sexual Harasser from "My Favorite Magazine"

 

Llewellyn Xavier, Elven Queen from "Savage Beatings" and "Beautiful Monster"