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Tuomas Holopainen from Nightwish

 

Flip the Kill Switch

VERSE 1

Story after story about violence so gory

It ain’t Hollywood glory, the nations are warring

Bright and early morning, air raid sirens give the warning

The napalm is pouring, children sleep without snoring

I get it all for free on my pretty little screen

I hear the little “DING!”, now I want to fucking scream

He says, “There’s no such thing as pain and suffering”

What the hell does that mean? Aren’t you watching them bleed?!

 

CHORUS 1

Turn it off! Can’t take anymore!

Turn it off! Don’t want to hear about war!

Take the screen and throw it like a son of a bitch!

Hurry up and end it! Flip the kill switch!

 

VERSE 2

Post after post of self-deprecating roasts

What they want the most is to be floating ghosts

Standing so close to the edge with the rope

It’s not a gallows joke, there really is no hope

I try to talk some sense to the ones who crave death

Don’t even ride the fence, it ain’t worth it in the end

He says, “If I up and went, I won’t have to pay the rent”

Are you fucked up in the head? No one wants to see you dead!

 

CHORUS 2

Turn it off! Can’t take anymore!

Turn it off! What’d you do that for?!

Take the screen and wake you up from the ditch!

Take your torture machine and flip the kill switch!

 

BRIDGE

Look around you, we’ve got so much in common

None of our lives turned out the way we wanted

Big dreams of a world where we keep the good times rolling

Lost forever to what we call doom-scrolling

American Grass-Touchers Association

When you touch the grass with your bridal gown

You too can be the Star of the County Down

But that’s miles away from the place you stay

A ticket to ride would cost your annual pay

Think globally, use your pleasant demeanor

Act locally, that’s where the grass is greener

Take Princess Puppy-Duppy to the public park

Take in the sunshine and symphony of barks

Too much drama on the information highway

Holy war on Sunday, fight night on Friday

Working your ass off, come home to a new grind

Let’s see who’s narcissistic, let’s see who whined

Pick a side, any side, just pick the right one

Reach through the screen with a loaded gun

It doesn’t work like that, you simping tankie

Your face is neon red and your ass is achy

Let’s go to the movies, have a few beers

Put some club music in our bloody ears

Blast down the road in the highest gear

Make memories that last years and years

The American Grass-Touchers Association

We’re the friends you love, the easiest vacation

Your brain will thank you, quiet down for a change

No more schizophrenic songs in a tone-deaf range

Friends are forever, your idols never knew you

Ask for an autograph, they’ll say, “Screw you!”

No one needs a pedestal five miles high

Don’t let them say otherwise, it’s a grifter’s lie

We got your back just like we got the check

We got the gasoline, ain’t no car wrecks

We got the hugs, we got endless fun

I enjoyed this night, let’s do another one

When you hit the sack, you’re still awake

Anticipating more memories you’ll make

Your phone is buzzing, let’s check the drama

Or let the sandman sing you to sleep like mama

Social Media Vacation

Hey, everyone. Starting tonight, I’m going to take a two-week vacation from social media. This includes Good Reads, Deviant Art, Face Book, Twitter, and You Tube. I’m hoping this will help recalibrate me after spending so much time doom-scrolling and consuming horrible news. If it’s affecting my mental health in the way I think it is, then two weeks away will be sufficient. When I eventually return, I’m probably going to have an ass-ton of notifications on all of my sites. I won’t be able to answer them all if that’s the case. Thanks for understanding and I’ll see you again on July 18th. Until then, take care, everyone.

My Response to "Noise" by Nightwish

***MY RESPONSE TO “NOISE” BY NIGHTWISH***

I’ve been a fan of Nightwish’s music dating all the way back to 2002. It started with “She Is My Sin” from the Wishmaster album and it snowballed from there. I was heartbroken to learn about Tarja Turunen’s firing from the band in 2005. I also crushed on her and Anette Olzon throughout my college days. I talked with Tuomas Holopainen on My Space (if that was really him). I wrote several creepy essays about Nightwish to cope with my loneliness. Okay, that last part was on a need-to-know basis, but you get what I’m trying to say. And I’ve accepted the fact that my heroes and I are going to have disagreements from time to time. I don’t agree with Roger Waters’s fox hunting. I don’t agree with Daniel Bryan’s anti-meat agenda. I don’t agree with George Carlin’s hatred of fat people. Disagreements happen and that’s a part of life a lot of people are going to have to get realistic about.

A few days ago, Nightwish released a new single from their latest album and that song is called “Noise”. If you’ve watched the video for it or have read the lyrics on Google, then you’d be blind not to notice the strong technophobic themes. You’ve heard these messages before from Baby Boomers and Gen Xers. Staring at your screen all the time will make you mentally ill. Social media will brainwash you into becoming a mediocre zombie. Young people need to wake up. Yada, yada, yada, you get the point by now. There used to be a time when I blindly agreed with these sentiments. But knowing what I know about today’s world and how my generation has been derided for far too long, I’m afraid I’m going to have to crack my knuckles for this post. Tuomas, Floor, Marco, everyone in the band, I love you all dearly. I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else. But you wanted a conversation and you’ve got one.

In case I haven’t whined about it enough online, I live in a small town called Port Orchard, Washington. I’ve lived in small towns for pretty much all of my teenaged and adult life. These small towns all have something in common: they’ve got…and I’m not exaggerating…a whole lot of jack shit. The most entertaining thing one could do in Port Orchard is go to a grocery store or fast food establishment and pig the fuck out on junk food. You can also do drugs and alcohol if you’d like. Me? I could probably go to a bar and meet strangers. There’s just one problem: I don’t have a car nor do I want one. I’ll leave it to someone else to fly through the windshield and plow into a ditch. With no car and with constantly pouring weather, I can’t exactly go out and do whatever the hell I want without someone giving me a lift. Even if I did trust myself behind the wheel of a car, I wouldn’t be able to meet people anyways because I’m too fucking shy. I hate being rejected and I hate embarrassing other people as well.

More often than not, the only form of entertainment I can consistently count on is social media. Whether I’m watching a You Tube video, surfing Deviant Art, interacting with other readers on Good Reads, or boosting my own career as an independently-published author, social media has been there for me. That’s right. Without social media, I’d have no writing career. I could go the traditionally published route, but that would mean getting past gatekeepers that never gave a shit about me in the first place. The reason it’s called social media is because it’s, you guessed it, social. In a town with a whole lot of jack shit, I can go online and talk to other people who are feeling just as lonely as me. Are they online all the time? No. But it’s better than wandering the rainy streets of Port Orchard looking for a whole lot of nothing. What am I supposed to do, knock on random doors in my neighborhood and ask people if they want to be my friend? Please.

Does social media have drawbacks? Yes. Is it unhealthy to compare yourself to the perfect versions of other people? Yes. Should I be looking for other hobbies? Yes. But do I have much of a choice in the matter given my circumstances? Absolutely not. Cars are expensive as hell and they’re fucking dangerous too. Real life people would rather avoid and ignore me than see my vulnerable side. Being a lower class weirdo doesn’t matter on social media because strangers will be there to comfort you and come together for you. Do I still feel lonely sometimes? Yes. But do I blame it all on social media and my generation growing up with it? Hell no. Blaming my generation for everything is a lazy copout for fixing systemic problems within our society.

But this is just my experience. I’m sure there are people out there who do just fine without social media. Hell, I know some old people who are glued to their phones and nobody kicks up a fuss about them. We all have our way of coping with boring lives. We all have a distraction of some sort. Some people snort cocaine. Some people chow down on Kentucky Fried Chicken. Me? I use social media as my escape. Why? Because I don’t have a fucking choice. Do I want choices? Absolutely. But are they going to present themselves to me in a way that’s considerate of my circumstances? No.

Like I said earlier, I love Nightwish and will always cherish their music no matter what. I don’t want you all to think I’m putting the boots to them over a minor disagreement. They’re entitled to their opinions just like I’m entitled to mine. I’m sure Tuomas and I can sit down and discuss this over a nice lunch at That One Place (a diner here in Port Orchard with enormous fucking pancakes). I’m sure Floor and I can share a few plates of chow mein from China Sun Buffet (also in Port Orchard), and no, that’s not me asking her out on a date. Remember, I don’t like embarrassing other people with my flirty behavior and that includes Floor Jansen.

The point is, Nightwish wanted to get a discussion going and that’s exactly what happened. I see a lot of people agreeing with “Noise’s” message on social media (the irony is killing me), but I don’t see a lot of opposition. I can promise you one thing, though: if Nightwish ever comes to my home state of Washington for a concert, I promise I won’t shout “OK Boomer!” after they’re done playing Noise. That dishonor is reserved for Nonpoint and their song “Generation Idiot”. I’m joking, of course. Nonpoint did a hell of a job opening for Hellyeah back in December, though I was secretly doing my happy dance when they neglected to play “Generation Idiot”. I’m Garrison Kelly! Until next time, try to enjoy the daylight!

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“The days were brighter. Gardens were blooming. The nights had more hope in their silence. The wild was calling. Wishes were whispering. The time was there, but without a meaning. The days departed. Gardens deserted. This frail world my only rest. The wild calls no more. Wishes were hollow. The barefoot boy weeping in an empty night. Cherish the moment. Tower the skies. Don’t let the dreamer fade to gray like grass. No falling for life. A gain for every loss. Time gathered me, but kept me flying. Away, away, away in time. Every dream’s a journey away. Away, away to a home away from care. Everywhere’s just a journey away.”

-Nightwish singing “Away”, which as you can see is not a technophobic diatribe-

Jealousy

***JEALOUSY***

In the age of social media, it’s easier than ever to compare and contrast yourself to other people. When you see one of your friends on Face Book getting married, you wonder why it’s not happening to you. When you see a Deviant Art buddy getting an ass-load of faves, you wonder why you don’t have any at all, let alone any views. When you see a Good Reads author achieve an average rating of 4:5 stars on one of their novels, you wonder why yours is below the 3.0 mark. The more we subject ourselves to this kind of comparative thinking, the more depressed we become. The easy solution would be to just stop comparing your life progress to your friends.

In the words of whoever sang the theme to Kingdom Hearts, “I don’t think life is quite that simple.” In the writing world, jealousy works both ways. I’ve had authors be jealous of me and I’ve been jealous of other authors. It’s perfectly natural to feel this way as long as it doesn’t consume you and turn you against the people you love. But that’s the thing: it is all consuming. It does eat away at the soul. I even have examples from my own life to prove this.

There are plenty of reasons to be jealous of another writer, but the one thing I envy above all others is the ability to write god knows how many words in the span of one day. Or one hour. Or half an hour. Or fifteen minutes. I get on Face Book all the time and see that this author is bragging about writing fifty thousand words in the span of a week, thus completing their novel. This author I speak of has an ass-load of books to their name too, each with high ratings on Good Reads and Amazon, so it’s not like any of this hard work is going to waste. Me? I consider myself lucky if I’m in the mental state to write a five-paragraph review for a forty page book. My foggy state of mind is a constant source of ire for me, so when I see other authors pumping out novels like hotcakes, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous.

And then there were times when other authors were jealous of me (I can’t imagine why). Those who have followed me on social media for a long time know that I like to write blog entries about vacations I’m going on or rock concerts I’m attending. Last year in 2018, I’ve been to eight different concerts. This year, I’ve already seen three and I have four more in the future. And yes, I’m as braggadocios as the Face Book author who boasts about writing a gazillion words in three days, or whatever the statistic was. Going to rock concerts is something not everyone can afford to do on a regular basis, whether it has to do with work/school schedules, family emergencies, physical disabilities, or just not having enough money for it. So I’m going to try my damnedest to keep my concert talk to a minimum. I’ll still post them as life events on Face Book, but that’s all you’ll get from me.

While it is natural to feel jealous of other people in your life, the one thing you should never wish for is to swap lives with your friends or family. The one thing we all have in common is our pain. When you ask to swap lives with someone you’re jealous of, you take the bad with the good. Suppose you’re jealous of a friend who got married during a seven day trip at Universal Studios. That sounds like a shit-load of fun, but there’s a whole lot going on with that person that you don’t know about. He could be depressed and hiding it really well. He could have mountains of college debt. He could be a pariah in his neighborhood. Just because you see the best version of another person on social media, doesn’t mean you should wish for his life. Everyone has their pain and we all deal with it in our own unique way.

I don’t talk about my personal pain a lot on social media, so when I do it this time around, I hope it’ll ease some of the jealousy you have of my concerts, vacations, or whatever else is going on. You all know by now that I’m schizophrenic, overweight, and constantly tired all the time, right? Now here are some things you probably don’t know. I’ve been unemployed all of my life (except for volunteer work). My mother is having severe mobility issues and needs a walker to get around. I don’t know how to drive a car nor do I own one myself, so I’m confined to my bedroom most of the time. I’m painfully shy in big social situations, so my friends in this town are few and far between. My brother is dealing with bipolar disorder and had a few breakdowns recently. Okay, that’s enough for now. This isn’t a pain contest, but you get what I’m saying. You don’t want my life and I don’t want yours. We all have our own stories to tell and our own destinies going forward. Let it be that way.

If you’re going to be jealous of another person, don’t let it consume your life. The one thing authors need to remember is that we’re one big family who helps each other during the toughest times. This isn’t a competitive field. This is a tag team main event. That’s why I didn’t use names when I gave examples of jealousy, because those people are my friends through and through and I don’t want to paint them in a negative light. We can get shit done together if we put our minds to it. What’s that I always say at the end of my blog entries? Oh yeah, it’s…even when you feel like dying, keep climbing the mountain!

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“You’re giving me too many things. Lately, you’re all I need. You smiled at me and said, “Don’t get me wrong, I love you, but does that mean I have to meet your father?” When we are older, you’ll understand what I meant when I said, “No, I don’t think life is quite that simple.” The daily things that keep us all busy are confusing me. That’s when you came to me and said, “Wish I could prove I love you, but does that mean I have to walk on water?” When we are older, you’ll understand it’s enough when I say so. And maybe some things are that simple. When you walk away, you don’t hear me say, “Please! Oh baby, don’t go!” Simple and clean is the way that you’re making me feel tonight. It’s hard to let it go. Hold me. Whatever lies beyond this morning is a little later on. Regardless of warnings, the future doesn’t scare me at all. Nothing’s like before.”

-“Simple and Clean” from Kingdom Hearts-