Fighting with My Friends

VERSE 1

I got vaccinated, I got educated

I thought that’d be the end, but now I’m fighting with my friends

Every autumn moon to a boiling hot June

I’ve got to defend from my own friends

They call it a debate, I call it pure hate

A never-ending trend is that I’m fighting with my friends

Fight for no reason but familial treason

Let’s not pretend we’re not fighting with our friends

VERSE 2

I take a battle axe to your alternative facts

Hit me ‘til I’m dead, so much for being friends

Blame me for the end, no fences to mend

Covered in blood for fighting with my friends

It’s no use to pretend it’s not abuse

Beat me ‘til I bend, because I’m fighting with my friends

Use your country’s flag as a Molotov rag

Burn the bridges red, can’t go back to being friends

BRIDGE

Dust to dust, ash to ash

In myself I trust, all others pay cash

Sounds like a joke to the outer circle

Laugh that shit up while you burp and gurgle

You don’t know what the fuck I’ve been through

Keep on laughing until your face is navy blue

Fighting with the enemy is one little thing

It’s ten times worse when you’re under someone’s wing

FINAL LINES

Fighting with my friends!

Fighting with my allies!

Fighting the whole world!

Everyone’s a bad guy!

Life After Seduction

VERSE 1

When the only chicks who like you are femme fatales

When she separates you from your family and pals

When she won’t let you speak to any other gals

And then stabs you in the heart until you cry and howl

Just remember that the world doesn’t center on her

And that you did nothing at all to deserve being hurt

It’s toilet time for your expensive wedding ring

“We’re fucking divorced!” is the tune you sing

CHORUS

You can break the pattern, but it’ll only matter

If you cover your ears from the toxic chatter

Life after seduction comes with no instructions

But the light at the end needs no introduction

VERSE 2

You swear to yourself that you’ll never love again

It took so long to get back your family and friends

Single as a Pringle, no need to stay and mingle

Because the only thing that matters is how you feel

She calls you and leaves a thousand voicemails

Begging for forgiveness behind the walls of jail

But you put away your phone and go back to sleep

Because you earned your freedom, it’s yours to keep

CHORUS

You can break the pattern, but it’ll only matter

If you cover your ears from the toxic chatter

Life after seduction comes with no instructions

But the light at the end needs no introduction

VERSE 3

On the therapist’s couch, you’ve got lots to talk about

And then here come the tears and the need to shout

None of your pain will ever leave that cozy room

Don’t hold the detonation switch to your own doom

EXTENDED CHORUS

You can break the pattern, but it’ll only matter

If you cover your ears from the toxic chatter

Life after seduction comes with no instructions

But the light at the end needs no introduction

Life is beautiful and it’s still worth living

As long as you learn the limits of your giving

Takers have no limits to their narcissism

Now you see it all with twenty-twenty vision

Superhuman

I want to be superhuman, fucking invincible

Drive a car without getting smashed into kibble

Write like my life depends on it, because it does

Read a gazillion books per motherfucking month

Make so many friends and know how to keep them

Make my crushes known instead of just a secret

Go back to school and earn a shit ton of A-pluses

Donate my time to fur babies in need of cuddles

Start my very own channel and earn a lot of likes

Sell my books until there’re none left in sight

Travel the world to visit my very best friends

America, South Africa, and Britain around the bend

I want to be superhuman, make my dreams come true

Make the world a better place for guys like me and you

Leave behind a legacy, not a carbon footprint

This is the game of life, I want to fucking win

Future generations can only look up to me

If I’m superhuman even when I hurt and bleed

I want to be fucking tough, I want to like it rough

Unlimited energy is somehow never just enough

The world is mine if I want to take the damn thing

When I get off my ass, they’ll start calling me king

Jealousy

***JEALOUSY***

In the age of social media, it’s easier than ever to compare and contrast yourself to other people. When you see one of your friends on Face Book getting married, you wonder why it’s not happening to you. When you see a Deviant Art buddy getting an ass-load of faves, you wonder why you don’t have any at all, let alone any views. When you see a Good Reads author achieve an average rating of 4:5 stars on one of their novels, you wonder why yours is below the 3.0 mark. The more we subject ourselves to this kind of comparative thinking, the more depressed we become. The easy solution would be to just stop comparing your life progress to your friends.

In the words of whoever sang the theme to Kingdom Hearts, “I don’t think life is quite that simple.” In the writing world, jealousy works both ways. I’ve had authors be jealous of me and I’ve been jealous of other authors. It’s perfectly natural to feel this way as long as it doesn’t consume you and turn you against the people you love. But that’s the thing: it is all consuming. It does eat away at the soul. I even have examples from my own life to prove this.

There are plenty of reasons to be jealous of another writer, but the one thing I envy above all others is the ability to write god knows how many words in the span of one day. Or one hour. Or half an hour. Or fifteen minutes. I get on Face Book all the time and see that this author is bragging about writing fifty thousand words in the span of a week, thus completing their novel. This author I speak of has an ass-load of books to their name too, each with high ratings on Good Reads and Amazon, so it’s not like any of this hard work is going to waste. Me? I consider myself lucky if I’m in the mental state to write a five-paragraph review for a forty page book. My foggy state of mind is a constant source of ire for me, so when I see other authors pumping out novels like hotcakes, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous.

And then there were times when other authors were jealous of me (I can’t imagine why). Those who have followed me on social media for a long time know that I like to write blog entries about vacations I’m going on or rock concerts I’m attending. Last year in 2018, I’ve been to eight different concerts. This year, I’ve already seen three and I have four more in the future. And yes, I’m as braggadocios as the Face Book author who boasts about writing a gazillion words in three days, or whatever the statistic was. Going to rock concerts is something not everyone can afford to do on a regular basis, whether it has to do with work/school schedules, family emergencies, physical disabilities, or just not having enough money for it. So I’m going to try my damnedest to keep my concert talk to a minimum. I’ll still post them as life events on Face Book, but that’s all you’ll get from me.

While it is natural to feel jealous of other people in your life, the one thing you should never wish for is to swap lives with your friends or family. The one thing we all have in common is our pain. When you ask to swap lives with someone you’re jealous of, you take the bad with the good. Suppose you’re jealous of a friend who got married during a seven day trip at Universal Studios. That sounds like a shit-load of fun, but there’s a whole lot going on with that person that you don’t know about. He could be depressed and hiding it really well. He could have mountains of college debt. He could be a pariah in his neighborhood. Just because you see the best version of another person on social media, doesn’t mean you should wish for his life. Everyone has their pain and we all deal with it in our own unique way.

I don’t talk about my personal pain a lot on social media, so when I do it this time around, I hope it’ll ease some of the jealousy you have of my concerts, vacations, or whatever else is going on. You all know by now that I’m schizophrenic, overweight, and constantly tired all the time, right? Now here are some things you probably don’t know. I’ve been unemployed all of my life (except for volunteer work). My mother is having severe mobility issues and needs a walker to get around. I don’t know how to drive a car nor do I own one myself, so I’m confined to my bedroom most of the time. I’m painfully shy in big social situations, so my friends in this town are few and far between. My brother is dealing with bipolar disorder and had a few breakdowns recently. Okay, that’s enough for now. This isn’t a pain contest, but you get what I’m saying. You don’t want my life and I don’t want yours. We all have our own stories to tell and our own destinies going forward. Let it be that way.

If you’re going to be jealous of another person, don’t let it consume your life. The one thing authors need to remember is that we’re one big family who helps each other during the toughest times. This isn’t a competitive field. This is a tag team main event. That’s why I didn’t use names when I gave examples of jealousy, because those people are my friends through and through and I don’t want to paint them in a negative light. We can get shit done together if we put our minds to it. What’s that I always say at the end of my blog entries? Oh yeah, it’s…even when you feel like dying, keep climbing the mountain!

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“You’re giving me too many things. Lately, you’re all I need. You smiled at me and said, “Don’t get me wrong, I love you, but does that mean I have to meet your father?” When we are older, you’ll understand what I meant when I said, “No, I don’t think life is quite that simple.” The daily things that keep us all busy are confusing me. That’s when you came to me and said, “Wish I could prove I love you, but does that mean I have to walk on water?” When we are older, you’ll understand it’s enough when I say so. And maybe some things are that simple. When you walk away, you don’t hear me say, “Please! Oh baby, don’t go!” Simple and clean is the way that you’re making me feel tonight. It’s hard to let it go. Hold me. Whatever lies beyond this morning is a little later on. Regardless of warnings, the future doesn’t scare me at all. Nothing’s like before.”

-“Simple and Clean” from Kingdom Hearts-

Vicarious

VERSE 1

Never get married, never have kids

Never drink booze, never smoke cigs

Never have sex with a total stranger

Never put yourself in fiery danger

Vicarious lessons are the best kind

Without them, I’d be lost and blind

Living through the mistakes of others

Dying free instead of being smothered

VERSE 2

Never take a job that will leave you aching

Never date a girl who thinks hearts are for breaking

Never go to a place where you won’t make it home

Never befriend losers when you feel so alone

Vicarious teachings are my curriculum of choice

I walk that graduation isle with a shit load of poise

Living through the regrets of my people

Dying with the credo that we’re all equal

BRIDGE

Safe and sound from the hungriest hounds

Feeling relaxed with my vicarious facts

Nobody can take this away from me

If they try, let them suffer and bleed

VERSE 3

Never try a hobby where you know you’ll suck

Never play a game where you’re shit out of luck

Never question the source of your infinite bucks

Never drive a car and plow into logging trucks

Never question your future, live in the present day

Never dwell on your past, learn to get the fuck away

These are the lessons from the wisest sages

Vicariously passed down to the youngest of ages

STOLEN LINE

Vicariously, I live while the whole world dies!

Nike Nut Sack

CHORUS
You signed a contract, now you wear the clothes
You take a thousand selfies so everybody knows
Get hundred dollar bills shoved up your butt crack
Wearing Adidas jockstraps on your Nike nut sack

VERSE 1
Every man has his price and yours was pretty low
But you’re watching that cash exponentially grow
The puppet strings are wrapped around your throat
And it’s all in the name of an all-American C-note
You repeat what they say like they’re your opinions
When really you’re just another one of their minions
They own everything of yours, including your life
To sweeten this deal, they’re going to need your wife

CHORUS
You signed a contract, now you wear the clothes
You take a thousand selfies so everybody knows
Get hundred dollar bills shoved up your butt crack
Wearing Adidas jockstraps on your Nike nut sack

VERSE 2
Did you ever think to ask the million dollar question?
How many of these sins are funding federal elections?
How many of these kids worked themselves to death?
How many corporate executives will benefit in the end?
To ask these questions, you need a mind of your own
But you were too busy taking selfies with your phone
The hash tags are flying across the worldwide web
While the world’s pain is flying right over your head

CHORUS
You signed a contract, now you wear the clothes
You take a thousand selfies so everybody knows
Get hundred dollar bills shoved up your butt crack
Wearing Adidas jockstraps on your Nike nut sack

HOOK
Your friends got pissed off and they walked away
Your family wondered why you’d ever go astray
Your heart is broken, but don’t mind the noise
Because your palms are greased by the big boys

EXTENDED CHORUS
You signed a contract, now you wear the clothes
You take a thousand selfies so everybody knows
Get hundred dollar bills shoved up your butt crack
Wearing Adidas jockstraps on your Nike nut sack
Play basketball even though you’re not an athlete
Ride in limousines with party chicks named Ashley
Drink all the champagne and snort all the cocaine
When you’re all fucked up, you’re the one to blame