Social Media Vacation

Hey, everyone. Starting tonight, I’m going to take a two-week vacation from social media. This includes Good Reads, Deviant Art, Face Book, Twitter, and You Tube. I’m hoping this will help recalibrate me after spending so much time doom-scrolling and consuming horrible news. If it’s affecting my mental health in the way I think it is, then two weeks away will be sufficient. When I eventually return, I’m probably going to have an ass-ton of notifications on all of my sites. I won’t be able to answer them all if that’s the case. Thanks for understanding and I’ll see you again on July 18th. Until then, take care, everyone.

Someplace Else

VERSE 1

Marble halls and diamond ceilings

Still yearning for those feelings

Still can’t see the beauty in the art

Still can’t find the glue for my heart

Roasted beast and potato salad

Buttered greens, I must have them

A temporary fix for my mental tricks

Back to feeling down in the sunset town

CHORUS

I’d rather be someplace else

In a different kind of hell

I’d rather be anywhere else

I need to look after myself

VERSE 2

Dancing troupe playing with fire

Balancing on the highest of wires

Still can’t find my own salvation

No matter how cultured the nation

Glass of wine that tastes so fine

Still the pain is just mine all mine

There really is no heaven on earth

Fuck every mile for what it’s worth

CHORUS

I’d rather be someplace else

In a different kind of hell

I’d rather be anywhere else

I need to look after myself

BRIDGE

Eating pills like candy

Can really come in handy

Fifty percent of the time

It’s still an uphill climb

Relaxing on the beaches

The lessons that it teaches

Money and energy spent

Just to feel internal death

VERSE 3

So far out in the galaxy

The universe is mad at me

I could make a wish on a star

To be taken away somewhere far

But wherever I go, I bring my pain

The expensive bill is always the same

I need a vacation from my broken heart

When will this new journey start?

CHORUS

I’d rather be someplace else

In a different kind of hell

I’d rather be anywhere else

I need to look after myself

Pool

Floating on my back, an out of body experience

The water’s nice and warm, nothing too serious

Just me, the sunset, and my vast imagination

A perfect way to continue my mental vacation

I could travel through the ocean of twinkling stars

Forget the noisy highway and its polluting cars

I could pretend there are hands on my shoulders

Cupping, squeezing to keep me from getting colder

A sensual soundtrack to trigger my young thoughts

The smell of herbal tea boiling on the stovetop

For one night only, I have nothing to worry about

I could stay here forever, never once getting out

The water feels good against my aching muscles

Relaxation feels good after a day’s worth of hustle

I’ll swim a few laps in my own personal ocean

Marine life and crystals recharging my emotions

Baptism in sweetness, cure all of my diseases

Walk on the surface like a modern day Jesus

Part the seas with my hydromantic powers

Give watery life to the springtime flowers

If the phone rings, then I’ll refuse to answer

I wouldn’t even rise for the necromancer

Nothing can remove me from my sparkling sea

Nothing will qualify as a true emergency

The world can wait until my stress melts away

It’s not as though I won’t wake up the next day

Forget the afterlife, because this pool is heaven

It’s been that way for all of twenty-four-seven

When I rise in the sunlit dawn of morning

I shall return despite your deaf-ears warnings

You can call it hedonism until your throat is raw

But I give zero cares about your biblical laws

Being a grown man is intolerably overrated

It’s better to live life painless and sedated

Seaside Vacation

***SEASIDE VACATION***

From May 3^rd to the 5^th (Wednesday through Friday), I’m headed out to Seaside, Oregon for a vacation with my parents. I’ve been to this city three different times and it never loses its beauty. Dog friendliness, fun beaches, lovely weather, good food, and lots to do; that’s Seaside in a nutshell. During these three days of rest and relaxation, there will be no creative output from me other than reading my book and maybe some photography (which I won’t upload until after I get home). However, since the WSS contests begin every Wednesday with a new prompt, I’ll only be gone until Friday, so that means I have Saturday to recover and Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday to pump out the next chapter of Demon Axe. Keep your fingers crossed that I get to do some writing before the next contest. There will be another vacation I’ll tell you guys about two weeks from the Seaside one, so look forward to that blog entry in the near future. I may be gone, but I’ll always come back and chitchat with my awesome audience. I may even do some of that when I’m using the hotel computer or an internet café. See you later, alligators!

***DEMON AXE, CHAPTER 22***

The novel’s almost over, folks. Just this chapter and an epilogue are all I have left. I don’t want to give away too much of chapter 22 because I ended chapter 21 on a cliffhanger. Roger Zee sees something out in the distance that keeps him from slashing the hell out of our main heroes. If you’ve figured out what this is, then congratulations to you. If you haven’t, enjoy the surprise. Hopefully it won’t translate to a Deus Ex Machina surprise.

***WRESTLING JOKE OF THE DAY***

If John Cena and Nikki Bella ever decide to have a child together and it’s a daughter, they probably shouldn’t name her Tina. Nothing says “Gooker Award Winner” like a grown woman named Tina Cena.

"Last Train Home" by Pat Metheny

From September 2007 to June 2008, my main method of transportation between Bellingham (college) and Port Orchard (home) was the Greyhound Bus. The filthy, disgusting, degenerate Greyhound Bus complete with a urine and shit-scented bathroom and mentally unstable passengers who have an uncanny knack for breaking out of straightjackets. It was a miserable experience that I don’t wish to repeat anytime soon. One day in late 2008, my senior year of college, I was in the bus station with my mom and I told her in the saddest voice possible, “I hate this place.” It wasn’t hard for her to see why. Therefore, instead of taking the putrid and rancid Greyhound Bus with dirty diaper stains and beer-scented creeps, I took the Amtrak home on the weekends. The train is a much gentler experience than an intercity bus. The people are sane, the staff is friendly, the scenery is much more pleasant, the passengers get to move around at will instead of being cramped all the time, and best of all, they had a food lounge in a separate car. Such a joyous public transportation experience deserves a special kind of music and that song is called “Last Train Home” by Pat Metheny. I used to listen to this song all the time when I was a kid, but I didn’t know it until I asked my dad about it. My main question to him was, “What was the song with the train in the music video and the guy who looks like George Harrison?” It wasn’t much to go on, but dad came through for me when he told me the name of the song. It was a worthy quest for knowledge. Imagine these peaceful instruments coming together to make beautiful music: an Indian-style guitar, a grand piano, a snare drum with brush sticks, an upright bass, and maracas. You’ll be knocked out within the first few seconds of the song. That is, if you aren’t already relaxed by the orange and pink sunset followed by the starry night with the vanilla moon in your train window. And just for the hell of it, imagine a hotdog and diet soda on your food tray while you patiently await your next destination. If listening to this music with Bose noise-cancelling headsets, you get bonus points, because if there’s ever a disrupting noise such as children screaming or cowboys laughing, Pat Metheny’s gorgeous music will be all you hear. Simple pleasures such as these open up creative pathways in more ways than just getting schoolwork done. You could actually write novels under these conditions. Or you can do what I’m currently doing, that is edit the hell out of preexisting stories you’ve written in preparation for a new anthology to be released. If you have an imagination as vast as the stars in the night sky, you can make these beautiful circumstances work.

　

***COMEDIC QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“Washington: we’re left of Idaho. Then again, who isn’t?”

-John Keister-