California and Colorado

VERSE 1

You’ve got traces of blood in your alcohol stream

Your biggest heroin dose put you in a dark dream

All your trust fund money went up your nose

Sucking up the cocaine like a vacuum cleaner hose

Wake up the next morning not knowing where you are

Shake the cobwebs to find out you’re in a cop car

Solitary confinement or the general population

No chance of parole or a suspended probation

CHORUS

Going to California and Colorado?

Your pipe dreams are not what they seem

Flying to the moon and the red planet?

Controlled substances tell you what you believe

Going to Washington and Canada?

You tell the lies and trust those who deceive

How about Seaside and Long Beach?

Get your ass clean and get a permanent reprieve

VERSE 2

Whoever’s in your ear is the one you should fear

Whether it’s a cult master with no charismatic peers

A drunken fool who thinks his magic is cool

A babbling idiot with diseases on his tool

ABRIDGED CHORUS

Going to California and Colorado?

Your pipe dreams are not what they seem

Flying to the moon and the red planet?

Controlled substances tell you what you believe

BRIDGE

All your potential went up in a cloud of smoke

All your arguments come off as a big fucking joke

All your meaningless words come out as word salad

Your story’s ending was marked with a judge’s mallet

VERSE 3

Was it worth the thrills and the temporary chills?

Was it worth the stacks of debt collection bills?

Was it worth the pain you put your family through?

Don’t say for a minute that you never really knew!

CHORUS

Going to California and Colorado?

Your pipe dreams are not what they seem

Flying to the moon and the red planet?

Controlled substances tell you what you believe

Going to Washington and Canada?

You tell the lies and trust those who deceive

How about Seaside and Long Beach?

Get your ass clean and get a permanent reprieve

Seaside Vacation

***SEASIDE VACATION***

From May 3^rd to the 5^th (Wednesday through Friday), I’m headed out to Seaside, Oregon for a vacation with my parents. I’ve been to this city three different times and it never loses its beauty. Dog friendliness, fun beaches, lovely weather, good food, and lots to do; that’s Seaside in a nutshell. During these three days of rest and relaxation, there will be no creative output from me other than reading my book and maybe some photography (which I won’t upload until after I get home). However, since the WSS contests begin every Wednesday with a new prompt, I’ll only be gone until Friday, so that means I have Saturday to recover and Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday to pump out the next chapter of Demon Axe. Keep your fingers crossed that I get to do some writing before the next contest. There will be another vacation I’ll tell you guys about two weeks from the Seaside one, so look forward to that blog entry in the near future. I may be gone, but I’ll always come back and chitchat with my awesome audience. I may even do some of that when I’m using the hotel computer or an internet café. See you later, alligators!

***DEMON AXE, CHAPTER 22***

The novel’s almost over, folks. Just this chapter and an epilogue are all I have left. I don’t want to give away too much of chapter 22 because I ended chapter 21 on a cliffhanger. Roger Zee sees something out in the distance that keeps him from slashing the hell out of our main heroes. If you’ve figured out what this is, then congratulations to you. If you haven’t, enjoy the surprise. Hopefully it won’t translate to a Deus Ex Machina surprise.

***WRESTLING JOKE OF THE DAY***

If John Cena and Nikki Bella ever decide to have a child together and it’s a daughter, they probably shouldn’t name her Tina. Nothing says “Gooker Award Winner” like a grown woman named Tina Cena.

Independence Day

***INDEPENDENCE DAY***

Just like Valentine’s Day, July 4^th is a holiday I don’t get too emotionally invested in. Yes, the fireworks are nice to watch. Yes, the barbecued food tastes delicious. But truth be told, I’ve never really considered myself to be overly patriotic when it comes to America. I don’t have a giant American flag hanging from every corner of my house. I don’t sing “The Star Spangled Banner” every chance I get. I don’t have red white and blue clothing of any kind. I don’t understand national pride, that’s all.

There are some parts about America that I like and some that I don’t. I like vacationing on California and visiting their theme parks. I like taking trips to Seattle, Tacoma, and Auburn to see my favorite bands perform. I like going to Seaside, Oregon and strolling around on the beaches (even during an overcast day). I like all of the dog-friendly towns I’ve visited over the years. What I can do without, however, is national conformity, ignorance, and selfishness. I’m also mature enough to realize that not all Americans are like that. I’ve made lots of American friends over the years and I’d hug them all if I could.

Of course, the standard reaction to a lack of enthusiasm for America is, “If you don’t like it, then get out!” Even though people say it a lot, it’s not a realistic thing to say. In order to gain citizenship to another country, you have to go through a lot of bureaucratic hoops, the process of which could take days, weeks, or even years. Getting a work visa can be just as frustrating. While all of the paperwork is going through, where is this unenthusiastic American supposed to go? The ocean? Mars? The Dark Side of the Moon? The Fifth Dimension? Parts Unknown?

And then you have another typical response in the form of, “You’re disrespecting our soldiers!” No, I’m not. In fact, this conversation wasn’t even about soldiers until that point. Even though I disagree with war, I know being a soldier is one of the hardest jobs in the world today. When they come back to the States, a lot of horrible things can happen from homelessness to PTSD. Paying for their health costs, both mental and physical, would be a wiser use for our tax dollars than sending them to war in the first place.

So just because I don’t wave an American flag everywhere I go, doesn’t mean that I’m leaving this country anytime soon. I’m currently at peace with my life in a little town in Washington State called Port Orchard. I used to think of Port Orchard as a paragon of boredom until I realized that most of my boredom was my own doing. Sure, there aren’t any video arcades or comic book shops that I can readily go to, but I still have all of these books on my shelves to read, all of these shows to watch, and all of these short stories that need to be written.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to…do something…fun…I don’t know what yet, but it’ll happen. We’ve got ears, say cheers!

***WEEKLY SHORT STORY CONTESTS AND COMPANY***

I took a one-week vacation from the WSS and now I feel refreshed enough to take part in their contests again. The theme this week is “Crescent Moon” and my story will be called “Chunky Puffs” (any Ed, Edd, n’ Eddy fans in the house?). It goes like this:

CHARACTERS:

Nick Savage, Gothic Vampire

Soa, Cannibal

Tufu, Cannibal

PROMPT CONFORMITY: The party Nick went to was being held under a crescent moon, which means there’s no danger of werewolves since they require the full moon to transform.

SYNOPSIS: Nick wakes up after passing out at a gothic party and finds himself tied to a giant barbecue rack with Soa and Tufu eager to eat him. Nick is actually the hungriest person in this group, but he reconsiders drinking his attackers’ blood since due to their questionable diets. The vampire and the cannibals exchange food jokes back and forth to each other until Nick breaks free from his bondage and engages in a bloody battle with his captors.

***DARK FANTASY WARRIORS***

Up next on deck is Derrick O’Brien, the werewolf fugitive from the short story “Chaos”, a title I’m considering changing. He used to be part of a story called “Vampire On Fire” until I realized that “Chaos” would be a better fit for him. Unlike Jacob Black, Derrick is not a pretty boy who likes gentle sex. He’s a monstrous thug who likes it rough and bloody. I pity any motherfucker who stands in his way.

***POLITICAL QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”

-Mark Twain-