Sing a Different Tune

 You butter me up like I’m corn on the cob

Oscar-worthy performance to make me sob

Touch my heart with your fingers and lips

Thirsty fan boys already coming up with ships

But you see who I am, sing a different tune

Bellyful of jelly, peanut butter on a spoon

Head full of dread, awkward to the max

All your kisses and hugs turn into attacks

You throw money at me like a stripper

Looking for poetry to undo your zipper

Stories that will make your soul fly high

You kiss my hand and call me cutie pie

But you see what I write, sing a different tune

Ramblings and rants of a silly little loon

Some swearing, piss, vinegar, and saltiness

Set my book on fire, now you’re assaulting it

You put me in a box before you met me

Now you can’t wait to fucking forget me

Being who I am sent you to a therapist

To complain about my venom and arrogance

Get to know me before you kneel and blow me

Fake promises are all that you’ve shown me

Trying to mold me into something I’m not

Sorry, but my soul could never be bought

All of you motherfuckers will sing a different tune

Not a hint of Happy Birthday in the month of June

Not a Hip-Hip-Hooray or asking if I’m okay

But a nee-ner-nee-ner-nee-ner and Go Away

I’ve never once been the leader of a choir

A perfect brain child, something I can’t sire

A perfect image of what you all call beauty

Sing a different tune so blue and moody

Evil Shit

VERSE 1

I’ve said some evil shit in my day

Most of it I cannot wash away

Words as weapons, letters as venom

My list of sins appeared to be endless

I’m not an angel nor will I ever be

Neither are you, you sin just like me

Everyone’s got something to hide

But sharing it’s a matter of pride

CHORUS

Evil shit! Evil shit!

Fire to breathe! Poison to spit!

Evil shit! Evil shit!

Pure of heart? You’re full of it!

VERSE 2

I’ve done some evil shit in my time

But if I confessed every single crime

We’d be here forever and a day

Not enough room for us to pray

I’m not a cherub or a honey child

I’m not innocent, tender, or mild

Your list of sins is just like mine

God won’t listen to you whine

CHORUS

Evil shit! Evil shit!

Fire to breathe! Poison to spit!

Evil shit! Evil shit!

Pure of heart? You’re full of it!

BRIDGE

Let’s all go to church together

It won’t make everything better

Nobody would ever die for us

Only in ourselves should we trust

EXTENDED CHORUS

Evil shit! Evil shit!

Fire to breathe! Poison to spit!

Evil shit! Evil shit!

Pure of heart? You’re full of it!

Evil shit! Evil shit!

Bullets to shoot! Axes to grind!

Evil shit! Evil shit!

Never let the blind lead the blind!

Cold War

VERSE 1

I could do this all day long

Got to show that I am strong

I’ll wait for you to cool down

To minimize the angry sounds

You fought with me and lost

Stop thinking you’re the boss

This cold war is mine to win

Only then can we both grin

CHORUS

A slap to the face

Then I turned away

Escape from this place

For at least a day

Silence rules this domain

As we bottle up this pain

What are we fighting for?

It’s just another cold war

VERSE 2

This could end when you say sorry

We could end our little pity party

My door is open only for the calm

Until then, you’re locked in the hall

Pile bookcases against the door

It’s shelter for the coldest wars

Blast my music to drown you out

Go ahead and try to shout me down

CHORUS

A slap to the face

Then I turned away

Escape from this place

For at least a day

Silence rules this domain

As we bottle up this pain

What are we fighting for?

It’s just another cold war

BRIDGE

Stupid reasons, stupid words

Yet we never seem to learn

Stupid outcome, stupid shame

As we play the blame game

Was it worth it in the end?

Losing yet another friend?

Check your ego at my door

Put an end to this cold war

VERSE 3

Silence is an introvert’s favorite thing

Especially when the heartache stings

I’m still waiting, but I’ll never crack

You’ll be the first to stab me in the back

CHORUS

A slap to the face

Then I turned away

Escape from this place

For at least a day

Silence rules this domain

As we bottle up this pain

What are we fighting for?

It’s just another cold war

Holy Mountains

VERSE 1

Bones and skulls scattered everywhere

Rotten flesh stinking up the fucking air

Is it a battlefield or cemetery grounds?

It’s a mass grave underneath the mounds

Torture and war have happened here

You can still hear the screams of fear

The gods above are having cold beers

As another mortal’s gutted with a spear

CHORUS 1

Holy mountains! Bloody fountains!

Shit-covered river will make you shiver!

Holy mountains! Come take a pounding!

Open wide as they skin off your hide!

Holy mountains! Holy mountains!

Holy mountains! Holy mountains!

VERSE 2

Those who dare make it out alive

Can’t shake the trauma even if they try

Nightmares as bloody as the real thing

Every deep gash, every whipping sting

Your sanity belongs on the holy grounds

Mind filled with schizophrenic sounds

Such sweet music to soothe you at night

The noose on your neck gets a little tight

CHORUS 1

Holy mountains! Bloody fountains!

Shit-covered river will make you shiver!

Holy mountains! Come take a pounding!

Open wide as they skin off your hide!

Holy mountains! Holy mountains!

Holy mountains! Holy mountains!

BRIDGE

Burn them down with a sadistic frown?

Laughable humor from the crazy clown

A permanent landmark of suffering and pain

A permanent reminder of pants-pissing shame

CHORUS 2

Holy mountains! Holy fucking shit!

Do cannonballs in the hellfire pit!

Holy mountains! Good god almighty!

Dance with the devil underneath lightning!

Holy mountains! Holy mountains!

Holy motherfucking mountains, bitch!

UGH!

Do It Live

VERSE 1

I hate answering the phone, I hate answering the door

Especially when all I want to do is fucking snore

I hate cleaning up cat barf, I hate cleaning up dog shit

I speak a colorful language and I won’t fucking watch it

I hate lifting heavy boxes, I hate bumping into walls

I hate having to tell the dog to not scratch my balls

The little things I hate send me into a bloody rage

If throwing fits was a crime, I’d be in a monkey cage

CHORUS

I’ll write it and we’ll do it live!

We’ll do it live!

Fuck it, do it live!

Fucking thing sucks!

VERSE 2

Every character I have is on a violent rampage

Every song that I write is dripping with rage

Every story that I publish is drooling with venom

Every drawing that I make is another damn weapon

Every thought that I have makes me want to punch

A fucking hole in your skull and have it for lunch

I need anger management in the worst fucking way

Before the world at large is going to fucking pay

CHORUS

I’ll write it and we’ll do it live!

We’ll do it live!

Fuck it, do it live!

Fucking thing sucks!

VERSE 3

Maybe my short fuse can be blamed on schizophrenia

Or maybe it’s been a while since I’ve had an enema

Or maybe I don’t do enough yoga in hot shorts

Or maybe my blood sugar is a little low on quarts

Or maybe it’s my past of being stuck in class

With the pieces of shit and the pains in the ass

Or maybe I’m just born with a dragon fire temper

Or maybe I’m sick of being my own defender

FINAL WORDS

Do it live, motherfucker! Do it live! X4

Fishing For Sharks

VERSE 1

You spit cobra venom all over the page

You breathe fire on those who dare rage

You shoot bullets at those who attack

Only to find a jagged blade in your back

CHORUS

You threw the lure and fished for sharks

Whose bites are far worse than their barks

They smell the blood, it’s what they love

Your lifeless corpse floats to the surface above

VERSE 2

Are you running with giants or fishing for sharks?

Are you creating drama or a dramatic story arc?

Are you setting the world on fire or burning bridges?

Answer wrongly and you’ll sleep with the fishes

CHORUS

You threw the lure and fished for sharks

Whose bites are far worse than their barks

They smell the blood, it’s what they love

Your lifeless corpse floats to the surface above

VERSE 3

Negativity will never lead to life longevity

Your world will soon crash down inevitably

Don’t bring a knife to a gun-slinging fight

Don’t bring hatred to an already hard life

CHORUS

You threw the lure and fished for sharks

Whose bites are far worse than their barks

They smell the blood, it’s what they love

Your lifeless corpse floats to the surface above

FINAL VERSE

When you sling shit, you’re only soiling yourself

When you throw a fit, you’re damaging your health

Change or die, there’s nothing in between them

Grow up, move on, or get ready to be condemned

You lose one fight and it’s just like Armageddon

You lose one debate and it’s far from heaven

Get your ass up and dust off your fucking clothes

Be the very last person that this world clearly loathes

Zombie-Ogre

VERSE 1
Eat, sleep, shatter, repeat
Ultra-violence for human meat
Winner, winner, chicken dinner
The glutinous one is a true sinner
Blood on his fangs, flesh on his tongue
Poison in his gut, disease in his lungs
Zombie-Ogre is coming to kill
Cannibalism, a sadistic thrill


CHORUS
Zombie-Ogre! Zombie-Ogre! X2


VERSE 2
The mosh pit is more like a buffet table
Survive genocide? You’re clearly unable
You can kick and punch, but your ass is lunch
It’s just a formality and not only a hunch
Heavy metal fuels his venomous veins
Every guitar riff ensures his iron reign
Zombie-Ogre is the master of slam dance
Getting out alive is a fucking slim chance


CHORUS
Zombie-Ogre! Zombie-Ogre! X2


VERSE 3
Never forget, you made him this way
You laughed at him every goddamn day
You shamed his body from head to toe
Threw rocks at him with crushing blows
Now he’s hungry for the flesh of humans
Disgusting creatures just like he knew them
The meat is so tender it falls of the bone
The blood is perfect for the king in his throne


EXTENDED CHORUS
Zombie-Ogre! Zombie-Ogre!
Don’t worry, bitches, it’ll all be over!
Zombie-Ogre! Zombie-Ogre!
Cannibalism gives him a massive boner!
Zombie-Ogre! Zombie-Ogre!
He can end it quickly if you just roll over!
Submit yourself to the barbecue rack!
Feel the flames turning your body black!


FINAL LINE
Zombie-Ogre! Mmm, mmm, good!