VERSE 1
The roads are closed, nowhere to go
Bury my eyes in the blue light glow
Watching her talk with an angel’s voice
About democracy and being pro-choice
I hang on her words in a loving embrace
Rosy pink cheeks and a grin on my face
Call it simping or whatever you please
Excuse me while I sigh in a gentle breeze
PRE-CHORUS
When I went to bed
She stayed in my head
And this is what she said
CHORUS 1
I live in Canada and I love you
Buy a plane ticket and dinner for two
We can dance in the city streets
Nervous? I’ll wrap you in flannel sheets
None of my fans should ever be alone
It’s time for you to shed that heart of stone
You wake up and find I was never there
But parasocial love just can’t compare
VERSE 2
She reads my favorite books, writes some of her own
In an army of fan boys, I never feel alone
Brought together by the diamonds in her eyes
But only one of us will get past the other guys
She’s got a husband and needs nobody else
But we can still try to be lovers ourselves
We could head to the bar, maybe touch some grass
“Notice me, Senpai! I’m your favorite in class!”
PRE-CHORUS
When I went to bed
She stayed in my head
And this is what she said
CHORUS 2
I live in England and I love you
Cross the waters if you love me too
We can hold hands in the scary darkness
Rest your head in my lap, listen to pop artists
I’m sorry you spend your nights all alone
But I’m a call away on the telephone
You wake up and find it was all a dream
The coldness of it all makes you want to scream
BRIDGE
This isn’t E-Harmony, that’s what they all say
It’s not Plenty of Fish, so get the hell away
It’s not Tinder, don’t think she’s here to play
She doesn’t know you nor would she want to
CHORUS 3
I live in Australia and I love you
I never said that, so don’t call me a prude
Get some medication, not a worldwide vacation
Stay in your own cozy little bitty nation
I’ll block you forever, so this is goodbye
I don’t even know why you had to try
To get in my life, I’m already a wife
Sorry for your broken dreams and mockery memes
