We Love You, Alejandro Cherrystone

 Every last page of his love letter collection

Breathed new life into his bloody erection

“We love you, Alejandro Cherrystone!

We can do it in your cell or on the phone

We know you’ve skinned your victims raw

We know you broke a prostitute’s jaw

We know you mutilated neighborhood pets

It doesn’t make us lust for you any less”

Every last page of the dirtiest magazines

Is filled with beauty nobody’s ever seen

Long black locks and androgynous lips

Tight black Speedo clinging to his hips

A six-pack that he worked hard to sculpt

Smooth legs that could start his own sex cult

It’s easy to forget his towering body count

Even when formaldehyde assaults your snout

Every last page of the stenographer’s notes

Crushes every baby girl’s romantic hopes

A heart like his could never be warm

Neither could his corpses left out in the storm

A life behind bars is what he so deserves

Not to be sexed up by the youngest of pervs

Not to be a wet dream for teenage queens

There’d be no debate if he looked like a fiend

Every last page of his death certificate

Makes claims of innocence insignificant

Stabbed to death with a rusty shank

While making a deposit in the sperm bank

Shower water washed away his blood

And the mess left by his supermodel butt

Never mind leaving flowers on his grave

Unless it’s necrophilia which you crave

Every last page of his docudrama script

Now smolders in a pyromantic abyss

No glory for killers, no cinematic thrillers

But compensation for his victims’ tear-spillers

They don’t have to forgive for Jesus’ sake

If Alejandro was alive, he’d continue to take

Never giving back to the world he bloodied

Except for hybristophilia to his favorite honeys

Rest in piss and we’ll see you in hell

This is the only story we should tell

Until the next killer casts a horny spell

Until the next cult forms, oh fucking well

Beautiful Monster Official Soundtrack

 Commonsense dictates that I should be in bed right now considering it’s about two in the morning. But instead, I put together my official soundtrack for Beautiful Monster. There are twenty songs on this list and they total up to an hour and eighteen minutes of play time. Starting with…

1. “Beautiful Monster” by Otherwise (no shit, Sherlock)

2. “Between You and Nowhere” by Hellyeah

3. “Crying Out” by Shinedown

4. “The Dark of You” by Breaking Benjamin

5. “Death” by Demon Hunter

6. “Don’t Leave Me Now” by Pink Floyd

7. “For You” by Marko Hietala

8. “Frozen” by Within Temptation

9. “Fuck Love” by All That Remains

10. “Heavy” by Linkin Park

11. “Holding My Breath” by Alien Weaponry

12. “A Little Bit Off” by Five Finger Death Punch

13. “Love Is Blue” by Paul Mauriat (of course)

14. “My Immortal” by Evanescence

15. “Nothing’s Fair in Love and War” by Three Days Grace

16. “Say Goodnight” by Gemini Syndrome

17. “Scarlet” by In This Moment

18. “Sickened” by Disturbed

19. “Volcanic” by Death Angel

20. “You Love Me ‘Cause I Hate You” by Lacuna Coil

Rest in Power, Gay Reynolds

 His driver’s license said Gabriel, he went by Gay

He’d do anything and anyone to get his fat payday

He had the 70’s moustache and a tray full of ash

Viagra and cocaine tucked inside his private stash

Eight hours of on-camera sex was what he had

A waterfall climax until his pecker looked so sad

For god knows how much money, the gig wasn’t bad

No longer will he miss a payment on his bachelor pad

Couldn’t find this kind of cheddar jockeying a cash box

Couldn’t find all these greenbacks curing smallpox

Would end up on the streets if he went to school to teach

Couldn’t cut it as a field hand picking every last peach

But the biggest price he paid when he got himself laid

Was some protests on his lawn and some online shade

More DM’s in his inbox than he could possibly delete

Asking for a free fuck, on their marriages they cheat

Every judgmental eye stares some daggers in his soul

They know about every hole, terrorism is their goal

A Molotov bomb thrown through his front window

Before they even get a chance to try to fucking know

What his struggles really are, explosives in his car

Blowing every little piece of him fifty feet apart

Why all of the hate for a guy trying to get by?

Couldn’t win against capitalism even if he tried

No love from the police, not a desist or a cease

Not even a bodyguard with a wild pay increase

The world learned to hate, so they sealed his fate

Could’ve been a porno legend, could’ve been great

Everybody mocks what they don’t understand

Rest in Power, Gay Reynolds, in the Promised Land

Never did he know that he left behind a daughter

Mother was a fellow actress also led to slaughter

A kid in foster care never stood a chance there

I wouldn’t blame her if she was constantly scared

Calling out for her parents but the bullies answer

Wishing her to have a malignant form of cancer

Who is anybody to point and laugh and judge?

Roles were reversed? Life would be just as tough

"The Hunger Games: Catching Fire" by Suzanne Collins

 BOOK TITLE: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

AUTHOR: Suzanne Collins

YEAR: 2009

GENRE: Fiction

SUBGENRE: Dystopian Sci-Fi

GRADE: A

Throughout my reading of this particular novel, I kept joking to anyone who would listen about how it feels weird reading dystopian fiction during dystopian times. As of this review, it’s December 2020 and there’s one month left before Joe Biden is sworn in as president of the United States. Corona Virus, Donald Trump’s presidency, police brutality, wildfires, these are all things that qualify 2020 as a dystopian year. I’m sure it feels even weirder for Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark, the two survivors of the first Hunger Games book. They have to go on an elaborate PR campaign for the Capitol and President Snow while also leaving subtle hints at a possible rebellion against the tyrannical futuristic government. Punishments for any sort of rebellion can include lashing, bombing, tongue mutilation, and even death. The fact that Katniss can inspire hope and individuality to everyone she meets even in subtle ways speaks volumes as to what kind of powerful character she can be. She’s not going through the motions; she’s an active character with opinions, believes, and skills to back them up. You feed your children a steady diet of Hunger Games books and wonder why they want to grow up to be like Katniss. Generation Z definitely has their fair share of Katnisses and it’s glorious!

But more often than not, some audience members will remember The Hunger Games series not as a playbook for dissent, but as a YA novel with a…(gasp)…love triangle! Everyone enjoys making fun of love triangles, because they’re so tropey and cliché…or so I’ve heard (I can’t confirm this). It’s true: there’s a love triangle going on between Katniss, Peeta, and Gale. Her relationship with Peeta is out of necessity to keep the Capitol from suspecting dissent while her relationship with the coal miner Gale is one of genuine love and romance. Get your laughs out while you still can, because I actually believe this love triangle was done effectively. Of course Katniss has to keep up appearances! Fooling the Capitol into believing they have her wrapped around their fingers is part of how she stays alive! But more importantly, it’s a way of keeping her family and Gale alive simultaneously. Katniss wears a lot of hats in this book and if even one of them slips off her head, she’s toast. And besides, even if she was romantically interested in both Gale and Peeta at the same time, so what? Is polyamory really such a bad thing? Do we really want to teach our YA audience that love is to be suppressed and shaped into a puritan image? If Katniss can rebel against an entire dystopian government, I’m sure she has no problem with rebelling against a chuckling audience.

Can we talk about the violent aspects of this book for a minute, please? Can we talk about Gale getting lashed over a dozen times for doing something minor and insignificant to anger the Capitol? Can we talk about the concept of Avoxes, who are butlers and maids with mutilated tongues? Can we talk about Katniss breaking her tailbone and heel long before the Quarter Quell begins? What, you thought the Hunger Games were over in the first book? Oh, are you in for a shock! We’ve got more bloody battles to attend to! Trident warfare, knife throwing, acid rain, archery, and electrical shocks can all be expected in this brutal novel. Although this book can be categorized as an action-adventure of sorts, the violence is meant to disturb, not entertain. Every blow the characters feel, the audience feels tenfold. It’s a reminder of how barbaric violence as a whole can be. It’s even worse when the characters realize it’s the only way they stand a chance against an oppressive government under President Snow’s rule. There’s only so much one can take before they push back even harder against their attackers. You poke the bear long enough, the bear is going to maul and eat you alive. While Katniss doesn’t have the physical intimidation of a grizzly bear, she does have the emotions of one and that will serve her well throughout this rebellion.

Remember how I said it felt weird reading dystopian fiction during dystopian times? It still is an uncomfortable experience. But at the same time, it’s necessary. We need to make our voices heard. We need to bring change despite overwhelming forces holding us down. While I wouldn’t recommend shooting bows and arrows at people or electrifying them in beach water, I do recommend rebellion as an idea. Every success we’ve ever had in this world is because we fought for it. Those in charge aren’t going to give us what we want until we fight for it. It’s true in real life and it’s true in The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. Yes, it’s a YA novel, but anybody can get behind the message regardless of their age. I give this book a solid five out of five stars. I’ll probably do the same for the third book in the series, whenever I get around to reading that one too.

Die For the Lie

 OPENING LINE

Such a waste of valuable human life…just to die for the lie!

VERSE 1

This is the hill you’re willing to die on

This is the slab you’re willing to lie on

Wasted your life on conspiracy theories

You had so many chances to see clearly

No sympathy for you when you lose

Only sympathy for the victims you choose

Could’ve dug yourself out of the pipeline

But you still held on to that little white lie

CHORUS

Die for the lie! Eye for an eye!

No wonder you’re so damn blind!

Die for the lie! Ask yourself why!

You didn’t give the other side a try!

VERSE 2

The only juicy nugget that you’ve got

Is in your underwear leaving a brown spot

You’ve got more nuggets than body parts

You’re full of shit, in case you’re not smart

CHORUS

Die for the lie! Eye for an eye!

No wonder you’re so damn blind!

Die for the lie! Ask yourself why!

You didn’t give the other side a try!

VERSE 3

You only have ears for the loudest voices

You only have a mind for the stupidest choices

You only have a spine for unproven rumors

You only have a life until you’ve got brain tumors

CHORUS

Die for the lie! Eye for an eye!

No wonder you’re so damn blind!

Die for the lie! Ask yourself why!

You didn’t give the other side a try!

FINAL VERSE

You did it all for the cheap comedy

But all you achieved was self-sodomy

Keep on laughing, give yourself a heart attack

You’re better off as a maggot’s favorite snack

FINAL CHORUS

Die for the lie!

Eye for an eye!

Ask yourself why!

You died for the lie!

Macho Man

 VERSE 1

Every day is leg day, make the ladies beg day

Mix some manly sperm with their eggs day

My pistols are big, but not as big as my dick

Give the ladies something to suck on and lick

I drive my hummer with a loud fucking motor

I leave behind a nice trail of gasoline odors

I’m a macho man! Don’t believe me? I’ll tell you

Toxic masculinity is what I’m trying to sell you

CHORUS

Macho man! Macho man!

The manliest of mansplainers!

Macho man! Macho man!

Fitness and beef are my college majors!

VERSE 2

How can I put this into words you’ll understand?

You’re a womanly woman and I’m a manly man

I talk down to you because that’s what kings do

Even other peasants will tell you that it’s true

CHORUS

Macho man! Macho man!

The manliest of mansplainers!

Macho man! Macho man!

Fitness and beef are my college majors!

VERSE 3

Fire my bazooka in a first person shooter game

Because real life wars by comparison are tame

I scream my B-words and a shit-load of C-words

Until my macho manliness melts the ladies’ beavers

Teabag my victims whether they ask for it or not

Balls in their faces while their corpses burn and rot

You could question my sexuality forever and a day

But I’ll flip the script and call your faggy ass gay

CHORUS

Macho man! Macho man!

The manliest of mansplainers!

Macho man! Macho man!

Fitness and beef are my college majors!

FINAL VERSE

Why are all my friends walking away from me?

Because I called them words that start with a B?

Maybe I’m just a coward fighting off low T

Lacking empathy for others, too blind to see

It’s on the tip of my tongue, I can’t figure it out

Has it always been my fault? Is that what it’s about?

It would take some ballsy courage to admit my mistakes

And admit my macho manliness has always been fake

Buy Buy Buy

 Here’s a million bucks, go fuck your friends

Here’s a million more, put their lives to an end

Here’s another thousand, sell out your country

Who cares where it comes from? It’s just money

It’s an ultimatum of the very worst kind

A mediocre life is about all you can find

Maybe homelessness is what you’ll get

All my CEO friends have a running bet

Here’s a million bucks, look into the camera

Here’s a million more, sell out your grandma

Here’s another thousand, sell out your minority

Money talks and it’s your only authority

We can buy celebrities for pennies on the dollar

Buy politicians and make them hoot and holler

Buy the police and give them palms full of grease

Buy, buy, buy, it’s an addiction and disease

Here’s a million bucks, don’t give it to the poor

Here’s a million more, don’t shop at little stores

Here’s another thousand, give it all to charity

Tax loopholes are written with such clarity

Ever hear about The Man Who Sold the World?

He gave it to us for the price of diamonds and pearls

We’ve got whole countries sucking our dicks

They come to us when they need a cabinet pick

Here’s a million bucks, go buy the universe

Here’s a million more, go empty your purse

Here’s another thousand, bring aliens to their knees

Business is booming, we buy debts and fees

Whoever said money is the root of all evil

Isn’t hanging out with all the right people

It’s a big ass club only a select few can join

If you’ve got the power, we’ve got the coin

But the younger generation already knows

We’re full of shit and it certainly shows

But what can they do about the world burning?

Oh yeah, our failures are what they’re learning