Macho Man

 VERSE 1

Every day is leg day, make the ladies beg day

Mix some manly sperm with their eggs day

My pistols are big, but not as big as my dick

Give the ladies something to suck on and lick

I drive my hummer with a loud fucking motor

I leave behind a nice trail of gasoline odors

I’m a macho man! Don’t believe me? I’ll tell you

Toxic masculinity is what I’m trying to sell you

CHORUS

Macho man! Macho man!

The manliest of mansplainers!

Macho man! Macho man!

Fitness and beef are my college majors!

VERSE 2

How can I put this into words you’ll understand?

You’re a womanly woman and I’m a manly man

I talk down to you because that’s what kings do

Even other peasants will tell you that it’s true

CHORUS

Macho man! Macho man!

The manliest of mansplainers!

Macho man! Macho man!

Fitness and beef are my college majors!

VERSE 3

Fire my bazooka in a first person shooter game

Because real life wars by comparison are tame

I scream my B-words and a shit-load of C-words

Until my macho manliness melts the ladies’ beavers

Teabag my victims whether they ask for it or not

Balls in their faces while their corpses burn and rot

You could question my sexuality forever and a day

But I’ll flip the script and call your faggy ass gay

CHORUS

Macho man! Macho man!

The manliest of mansplainers!

Macho man! Macho man!

Fitness and beef are my college majors!

FINAL VERSE

Why are all my friends walking away from me?

Because I called them words that start with a B?

Maybe I’m just a coward fighting off low T

Lacking empathy for others, too blind to see

It’s on the tip of my tongue, I can’t figure it out

Has it always been my fault? Is that what it’s about?

It would take some ballsy courage to admit my mistakes

And admit my macho manliness has always been fake