CHORUS
Everything’s about sex except sex itself
Sex is about power and really nothing else
If it looks like a penis or like a vagina
Can’t wait to get something inside ya
VERSE 1
Look at that knight and his surfboard sword
Look at the way he cuts down the orc horde
Not even their axes could put a dent in his armor
It’s made of gold and spikes, for starters
But everything about him reminds you of a dick
And his only end goal is to obviously get chicks
His sword is so long and fat around the edges
So are the spikes in his suit, gold is piss, you get it?
CHORUS
Everything’s about sex except sex itself
Sex is about power and really nothing else
If it looks like a penis or like a vagina
Can’t wait to get something inside ya
VERSE 2
Look at the damsel stuck in the dragon’s tower
Rescue her and she’ll give you money and power
One slash of the dragon’s neck and he’s gone
Head rolling down the hill into the bubbly swamp
Damsel thanks you with a passionate kiss
Whether you want it or not, no refusing this
How can you be platonic when she’s clearly a prize?
The male gaze comes with the horniest eyes
CHORUS
Everything’s about sex except sex itself
Sex is about power and really nothing else
If it looks like a penis or like a vagina
Can’t wait to get something inside ya
BRIDGE
Testosterone is the reason for all of your decisions
Sperm invades your brain like a vaginal incision
If you get an A+ in all of your classes
It’s because you fantasize about tits and asses
Never mind that you studied and prepared for life
Because it all means nothing without a sexy wife
Everyone in town walks around with an erection
Always looking for ways to get an extension
VERSE 3
It’s insulting to every gender that there is
To leave the world around you covered in jizz
Think of all that greatness we could achieve
If we had self-esteem we could truly believe
CHORUS
Everything’s about sex except sex itself
Sex is about power and really nothing else
If it looks like a penis or like a vagina
Can’t wait to get something inside ya
