Showing posts with label Sorrow. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sorrow. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 3, 2024

You Don't Care

VERSE 1

He’s bleeding all over the streets

Every enemy lies at his feet

Waterfalls pour down his cheeks

Sweat-covered clothing starts to reek

Weapon covered in hues of red

Heartbeat slows ‘til he’s damn near dead

Broken fist raised into the air

And you don’t care

 

VERSE 2

He’s lying on the pleather couch

Traumatic stories pour from his mouth

When the war started, shit went south

He was always looking for a way out

Every time the door would open

It’d slam his fingers until they’re swollen

His soul on full display to bare

And you don’t care

 

VERSE 3

The pages have long since yellowed

The critics have raged and bellowed

One star to rule them all

One book as toilet paper in the stall

Back to the drawing board, chalk in hand

Every broken dream has turned to sand

He’s got feelings of his own to share

And you don’t care

 

OUTRO

You’re so hard to please, you love to hate-watch

You love to just kick us all in the crotch

You’re just waiting for the tiniest botch

Get through another page with a bottle of Scotch

You don’t care, oh no, you don’t care

As if your opinion was enough to scare

Me into being an obedient bastard

But haven’t you heard? I serve no masters!

Sunday, May 1, 2022

Fun Guy

VERSE 1

I dance like I’m in a pool that someone dropped a toaster in

I can’t do keg stands or I’ll throw up in the garbage bin

I can’t do the things that will make you confess your sins

To the preacher man when your Sunday morning begins

I haven’t smiled a day since the Reagan administration

I haven’t made love since computer masturbation

The only songs that play for me would bring tears to others’ eyes

And wouldn’t you know it, it’s been so long since I’ve cried


CHORUS 1

I can’t be a fun guy

When serotonin runs dry

Can’t be a party animal

When I sink like a cannonball

Can’t be a fun guy

Can’t be a fun guy

Fun guy, fun guy

Fun guy, fun guy


VERSE 2

You say you’re leaving my side because I bring you down so much

You say I’m on the edge of giving myself the finishing touch

You say you need a guy who has a million in change and isn’t so strange

You say you need a guy who doesn’t come off as sad and deranged

I say don’t let the door hit you on the ass when you leave

A half-hour friendship was a lifetime filled with being deceived

I wish you well and let me tell you one thing right before you go

My depression and rejection are less than one percent of what you know


CHORUS 1

I can’t be a fun guy

When serotonin runs dry

Can’t be a party animal

When I sink like a cannonball

Can’t be a fun guy

Can’t be a fun guy

Fun guy, fun guy

Fun guy, fun guy


BRIDGE X2

I didn’t choose the darkness

The darkness chose me

I could have been a fun guy

If not for fucked up brain chemistry


CHORUS 2

I can’t be a fun guy

When serotonin runs dry

Can’t be a party animal

When I sink like a cannonball

It ain’t fun for me either

When someone else is the leader

Grabbing me by the throat

Use my blood to write a special note

Can’t be a fun guy

Can’t be a fun guy

Fun guy, fun guy

Fun guy! Fun guy!

Friday, April 26, 2019

Not Worth the Pain


CHORUS
You’re not worth the pain
I’ve got nothing to gain
From watching you walk away
You’re not worth the trauma
You’re not worth the drama
Tomorrow’s yet another day

VERSE 1
What makes you worthy of my crowded mind?
What makes you worthy of my precious time?
Anybody can wear the shortest of dresses
Anybody can rock the hottest of messes
But only you can break another man down
Get your entertainment from watching me drown
Goodbye, my friend, for now and forever
I wish you the best in your future endeavors

CHORUS
You’re not worth the pain
I’ve got nothing to gain
From watching you walk away
You’re not worth the trauma
You’re not worth the drama
Tomorrow’s yet another day

VERSE 2
I’ve got enough pain in my oversized heart
And you were hardly the end or the start
I’m a sucker for only the tightest of hugs
It’s kind of like being high on opium drugs
Fool me once and the shame goes on you
Fool me twice and it’s really nothing new
I’ve got to kick this habit sometime soon
Before I get locked up like a loony toon

CHORUS
You’re not worth the pain
I’ve got nothing to gain
From watching you walk away
You’re not worth the trauma
You’re not worth the drama
Tomorrow’s yet another day

VERSE 3
Why do I keep on doing this to myself?
Why do I keep on compromising my health?
Why do I form these unhealthy crushes?
Why do I use friendship as my crutches?
Why do you keep coming back in my life?
Why do you keep on twisting the knife?
Why do you keep on breaking my heart?
Why do you like to tear my life apart?

BRIDGE
Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it!
You’re not worth the pain!
Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it!
You’re not worth the shame!
Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it!
You’re not worth the sadness!
Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it!
You’re not worth the madness!

Thursday, February 7, 2019

Undertaker


Necromancy is my native tongue
For those whose songs remain unsung
For those buried beneath the ground
For those haunted by traumatic sounds
Every corpse has its own little story
Every death has its own hidden glory
Some died fighting for what they believe
Or took to the grave their ability to deceive
Some died never having lived at all
No surprise that one day they’d fall
Detachment is my only suit of armor
Against crying for those I must honor
Just another body to grow the grass
Just another ghost waiting to pass
To the next world if there ever was one
Covered in roses or saluted with guns
An undertaker’s job is never really over
An undertaker’s fear is silent and covert
Rest in peace is what we learn to say
Go through the motions for another day
This is life imitating the finest art
This is a life being torn clean apart
Just as dead as the bodies I bury
Just as heavy as the burden I carry
Maybe it’s time for a brand new career
There’s nothing left for me to do here
Follow my dreams into older ages
Write my stories on the dusty pages
How many times will I get this chance
Before I give into the devil’s dance?

Sunday, December 30, 2018

Cry If I Want To


VERSE 1
Whoever said that men shouldn’t cry
Doesn’t know what it’s like to die inside
Macho madness trumps endless sadness
Tough talk trumps worldwide badness
I never bought that and I never will
These emotions were never mine to kill
Here comes the flood of biblical proportions
You can have my tears, it’s your extortion

CHORUS
It’s my country and I’ll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
If you’re free to wish death upon me
I’m free to let my emotions be

VERSE 2
A romance gone sour can drain one’s power
And then Valentine’s Day will never be okay
A favorite song can tear me apart for so long
Who knew these emotions could be so strong?
Watching death unfold before my own eyes
Is more than enough reason for a good cry
Here comes the river that’ll make me shiver
Here come the tears that’ll make me quiver

CHORUS
It’s my country and I’ll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
If you’re free to wish death upon me
I’m free to let my emotions be

VERSE 3
They can call me a baby, but it’s a lie
Since when did it become illegal to cry?
Am I under arrest or is this a torture test?
Is the orange uniform the way I’ll dress?
Fuck that! This was never a stupid game
Life itself will never ever be the same
Here comes the ocean of raw emotion
Another day of going through the motions

EXTENDED CHORUS
It’s my country and I’ll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
If you’re free to wish death upon me
I’m free to let my emotions be
I’m an American and I’ll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
If you’re free to be my judge
I’m free to seek out my strongest love

Monday, October 8, 2018

Lonesome Town


VERSE 1
Like smoking fifteen cigarettes a day
A dead body is the price you will pay
A dead mind is all you’ll ever find
Can’t say isolation without saying I
Depression’s killing you deep inside
Under the blankets is where you hide
It’s never too late to ask for some help
Could be a stranger or one you know well

CHORUS
Welcome to Lonesome Town
Everyone is feeling down
Everyone is reaching out for love
But sometimes it’s never enough

VERSE 2
A crowded party feels empty and cold
No one to talk to and nobody to hold
Nobody is worth being so damn bold
The cycle of sadness is getting so old
Another night of loneliness and shame
Another night of brokenhearted pain
Another night of feeling like shit
Another night of getting sick of it

CHORUS
Welcome to Lonesome Town
Everyone is feeling down
Everyone is reaching out for love
But sometimes it’s never enough

VERSE 3
On the day of your coffin slumber
Do you regret being torn asunder?
Does taking a chance hurt that badly?
The answer is always yes, sadly
No place lonelier than the grave
Out of reach is the love you crave
Is there a next time? I don’t know
Is it worth the pain so deadly and slow?

CHORUS
Welcome to Lonesome Town
Everyone is feeling down
Everyone is reaching out for love
But sometimes it’s never enough

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Uncomfortable


VERSE 1
All this time I was dating a stranger
Thinking she was my queen and savior
Couldn’t get comfortable for a second
I couldn’t form a wisecrack sentence
Stutter, stutter, stutter, stutter
Iron courage melts like a stick of butter
The keys to her heart, far out of reach
Infinite charisma, could never teach

CHORUS
Uncomfortable on her couch
Uncomfortable kissing sounds
Uncomfortable silence so loud
Uncomfortable! Uncomfortable!

VERSE 2
They say I’m too shy, too out of place
Too much sadness written on my face
Too much anger building up inside
Not enough zeal, too much pride
Could never open up, make the first move
For fear of having everything to lose
Couldn’t get comfortable for a minute
The kiss goodbye never tasted so vicious

CHORUS
Uncomfortable on her couch
Uncomfortable kissing sounds
Uncomfortable silence so loud
Uncomfortable! Uncomfortable!

VERSE 3
A new friend, a new song of silence
Cower away from the seductive siren
She takes my hand, she tries to dance
Another way to try to get in my pants
Discomfort became seen as weakness
My broken heart shattered into pieces
I swear it’ll be different the next time
Except there won’t be another next time

EXTENDED CHORUS
Uncomfortable on her couch
Uncomfortable kissing sounds
Uncomfortable silence so loud
Uncomfortable! Uncomfortable!
Uncomfortable in my head
Uncomfortable is what I said
Should I try to say it again?
Or will this loneliness never end?

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Bathos

VERSE 1
Whenever two people fall head over heels
You tear them apart like a canine meal
Laugh at their love and all of the above
Counter the cheese with your brand of sleaze
Ain’t nothing funny about human emotions
Not every scene needs tissues and lotion
Shut the fuck up and leave them alone
If you can’t take the heat, go the fuck home

CHORUS 1
Bathos! Bathos!
Killing the mood with crass behavior
Bathos! Bathos!
Shut your mouth or meet your maker
Bathos! Bathos!
Bathos! Bathos!

VERSE 2
Whenever some guy wants to shiver and cry
You encourage his wishes to want to die
You drain every tear from his red puffy eyes
With every sick joke about his ass and thighs
Or maybe it’s about the color of his skin
Maybe it’s about the church’s so-called sins
Maybe it’s the fact that he lost his loved ones
Maybe you’re just a giggly ass dumb fuck

CHORUS 1
Bathos! Bathos!
Killing the mood with crass behavior
Bathos! Bathos!
Shut your mouth or meet your maker
Bathos! Bathos!
Bathos! Bathos!

BRIDGE
Alternative facts, alternative right
Alternative wife, alternative white
Alternative comedy, alternative rock
Alternative reality, what a fucking crock!

VERSE 3
If this is comedy, get your ass off the stage
You’re no George Carlin, no fucking sage
If this is music, I’m deaf to your tunes
You’re like a pop star gagging on a silver spoon
If this is news, you can’t be trusted
If this is corruption, you’re goddamn busted
If this is satire, you’re a goddamn liar
If this is your stage, let’s set it on fire

CHORUS 2
Bathos! Bathos!
See you later, you disgusting hater
Bathos! Bathos!
In a while, you necrophile
Bathos! Bathos!

Bathos! Bathos!

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Jesse

She was so far away, yet she was so close to me
Smell her perfume through the computer screen
Touch her silky skin through the keyboard
A plane ticket was something I couldn’t afford

We were young, in love, and without a dollar
Somehow I found a way to long distance call her
Every email laced with sugary vocabulary
Her golden heart was my only sanctuary

She was the first to be worthy of my love
I called her my angel from the heavens above
But with those wings, she flew away from me
Jesse never came back, not even in my dreams

We never had the chance to say goodbye
I never had the chance to ask her why
I never had the chance to chase her around
I felt stupid for falling for her like a clown

You could call it dopamine or testosterone
But she was the reason I never felt alone
You could call it heartbreak or depression

But this will be her one and only mention

Sunday, December 3, 2017

Belts and Welts

Owen Hall’s silent rage steamed hotter than the mashed potatoes and gravy he was eating for supper. Delicious food, though right in front of him, was the last thing on his racing mind. Sitting across from him at the dinner table was his wife Valerie and his daughter Leila. Both ladies smiled arrogantly at Owen while the father’s expression was dripping with ogre-like hatred. “Come on, old man, smile and make people wonder about you!” said Leila with a mockingly saccharine tone. Owen’s mouth curled even further downward as he tried to eat his dinner.

“Did you do your homework tonight?” asked Owen with disturbing calmness.

“I’ll do it after America’s Next Top Model is over,” said Leila. Her phone vibrated in her jeans pocket and she immediately went into text-messaging mode. Her eyes never left the screen even after Owen waved his meaty hand over her face.

“Relax, Owen,” said Valerie with her hand on his shoulder. “She’s a teenager. You know how they are. I’ll bet you anything you were like that at her age.”

Owen cracked his thick neck on both sides and said, “I wouldn’t know anything about that.”

“Of course you don’t, because you’re an old fart,” said Leila while her thumbs continued to dance around her smart phone’s screen. The sharp jab got a small giggle from Valerie.

Owen shook his head and put his fork down to address his daughter. His muscular hands formed a steeple underneath his hairy chin as he said, “You know, Leila. I got a call from the school today. They said you haven’t been keeping up with your homework. In fact, it’s pretty much the same song and dance for the last few weeks. Whenever the school has a problem with you, they always phone me and I get the blame for it.”

“Honey, eat your potatoes and we’ll talk about this some more after dinner,” said Valerie as she patted her manicured hand across her husband’s sausage fingers.

“I don’t want to talk about it later,” said Owen. “I want to talk about it now. If we don’t talk about it now, we’ll never talk about it again. You keep saying we’ll have all of these chances and those chances are always squandered. Put the fucking phone down!” The last sentence directed at Leila had some extra bite to it.

Instead of honoring her father’s wishes, Leila mocked his words with a semi-retarded voice and kept texting. Valerie smiled at Owen and said, “Come on, it’s not like this is the end of the world. She’ll figure it out soon enough.”

“No, she won’t!” snapped Owen as he stood up, garnering Leila’s attention at last. “She’s going to keep fucking up and nothing’s going to get done! What about college?! What about a job?! Does she not care about these things?! Last time I checked, sitting on your lazy ass watching TV isn’t exactly a nine-to-fiver!”

“Dude! Chill!” said Leila. “You don’t have to bite my head off! School’s been really hard lately!”

“School is supposed to be hard, you dumb shit!” barked Owen. “That’s how you grow and develop as a human being! If everything was easy, there’d be no fucking point!”

Valerie shot up from her chair and pointed at her husband while shouting, “Owen, sit down and eat your food! You’re acting like an old bastard!”

Owen took off his glasses and rolled up his flannel shirt sleeves. “No, Valerie, you’re wrong. That’s not what an old bastard acts like. This is.” With no trace of high voltage anger in his voice, Owen took off his leather belt and slowly walked around the table to Leila’s side of the table. Both wife and daughter looked up at him with wide, horrified eyes while Leila kept asking him what he was doing with a stutter.

The towering father grabbed Leila by the hair and slammed her torso against the table, not caring if the violent act got food on her T-shirt. Both ladies screamed like they were trapped in a real-life horror movie while Owen smacked his leather belt across Leila’s ass five times, each strike more sadistic and louder than the last. Both women collapsed to the floor and hugged each other while sobbing and screaming simultaneously. Leila could only bury her face in her mother’s chest while the mother looked up at Owen with puppy-dog eyes, asking, “Why?” over and over again in a whispery voice.

“I’ll tell you why, Valerie,” said Owen with trembling jowls. “I’m tired of being the bad guy at this dinner table. I’m tired of being the principal’s scapegoat when this whole shit storm is clearly my daughter’s fault. I’m tired of being disrespected. I’m tired of being walked on. And to think, this is Leila’s first belt whipping and she got to experience it at age fourteen. Too little too late. She’s grown up to be a bigger super-bitch than her mother.”

Leila pulled her face out of her mother’s hug and tearfully mouthed the words to her dad, “I hate you. I hate you so much.”

Owen slowly crouched down beside his daughter, placed his free hand on her convulsing shoulder, and quietly said, “That’s okay, darling. I hate you too. I hate you so much that I want to get the fuck out of this place as soon as I can. That belt spanking wasn’t out of discipline or even love. It was out of rage. It was out of a whole decade of disrespect and nothing being done about it. I’m done with you, Leila. I’m done with your mother. She better hire a good divorce lawyer, because I’ll be doing the same. Don’t expect a huge custody battle, little girl. Not even that creep Roy Moore will want you after all of this.”

Owen stood back up and his tree trunk knees popped like fireworks. Valerie also stood up, but brought her daughter to her feet with her and continued to hold her in a loving and sorrowful embrace. Valerie sobbed, “You can’t divorce me, Owen. After what you did tonight, I’ll take you for everything you’re worth!”

“Funny you mention that,” said Owen. “Because you probably will make more money off of my child support payments than you will busting your ass at a real job. Same goes for you, Leila. You’re both a bunch of losers. If you’re this disrespectful to me, what makes you think you’re going to be any better to your bosses? Oh, did I say bosses? I meant johns and pimps.”

“How can you say these things to your own family, Dad?” cried Leila. She could wipe her tears and comfort her sore buttocks all she wanted, but the sorrow continued to be painfully obvious.

“Family? What family?” said Owen with shrugged shoulders. “I don’t see a family in front of me. Just because you’ve got my DNA, doesn’t mean you’re anything more to me than a couple of bloodsucking leeches. The ride’s over. I’d tell you both to get your shit together, but you’re not even capable of getting that right, let alone an answer on a fucking math test.” The hulking father turned around and lumbered to his bedroom looking for a suitcase and some clothes.

“I’m sorry, Dad!” pleaded Leila while on her knees. “I’m sorry! I’ll do better in school! I’ll get a good job! Please, don’t leave us!”

“You’re too late for redemption, honey,” said Owen as he nonchalantly packed clothing into his suitcase and rolled it out to the kitchen. “It’s not my job to save you anymore. You can be someone else’s problem now.” He pointed at Valerie and said, “And you! You’ll be hearing from my lawyer first thing in the morning. Enjoy your dinner. I’m going to get a real meal at McDonald’s.” He waved goodbye and proceeded towards the front door with his suitcase in tow.

“Goddamn you, Dad!” shouted Leila as she picked up her dinner plate and threw it across the kitchen at Owen, who ducked down in the nick of time. The plate shattered and the mashed potatoes oozed down the kitchen wall.

But instead of white hot rage, Owen smiled for the first time in forever and said, “Thanks for giving my lawyer more talking points in court. Maybe your mother will start paying ME alimony instead. Bye-bye!” He waved again and stepped outside to the sounds of screaming teenagers and sobbing wives.

The chilly night air felt heavenly on Owen’s skin. The air tasted sweeter than anything on his dinner plate. A singular tear traveled down his husky cheek. He may have weighed well over three hundred pounds, but he felt lighter than a feather. He wasn’t going to just get away from this prison of a home. He was going to fly away like a caged bird.


There was a small moment where he questioned his need for spanking Leila with a belt. But as the screams and screeches from inside grew less tolerable, he shrugged his shoulders and rolled his suitcase out to the family SUV. He figured even sleeping in the back seat would be more comfortable than any fluffy mattress shared with his soon to be ex-wife.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

My Dinosaur

SOBBING DIALOGUE
My dinosaur! X4

VERSE 1
You took away all my toys
The only things to fill the void
The only things to cure boredom
Anything to restore your order
You smashed my Legos to bits
Stomped my videogames to shit
Popped the heads off my dolls
Do you have a heart at all?

CHORUS
Give me back what’s mine!
I’ll be a good boy this time!
I’ll get the very best grades!
I know how to fucking behave!
Don’t tell me to act my age!
Or I’ll unleash my inner rage!
They’ll have to lock me in a cage!
All I wanted to do was play!

SOBBING DIALOGUE
My dinosaur! X2

VERSE 2
What does this punishment prove?
That your authority is always true?
That the skies aren’t always blue?
Creativity wasn’t meant to bloom?
I don’t need the fucking rubber room
You need your own fucking tomb
You burned my whole toy collection
I’ll cut your giant ass into sections

CHORUS
Give me back what’s mine!
I’ll be a good boy this time!
I’ll get the very best grades!
I know how to fucking behave!
Don’t tell me to act my age!
Or I’ll unleash my inner rage!
They’ll have to lock me in a cage!
All I wanted to do was play!

SOBBING DIALOGUE
My dinosaur! X2

VERSE 3
I don’t owe society shit
It isn’t me throwing a fit
Playtime will forever be mine
Don’t care about falling in line
Don’t care about responsibilities
Or even employable abilities
Starting over with my own toys
Won’t wait for Christmas joys

FINAL BRIDGE
Give me my dinosaur!
I won’t wait anymore!
Life doesn’t have to bore!

Give me my dinosaur before I beat it out of you!

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Wounded Angel

VERSE 1
How many times have you been hurt?
How many blood stains are on your shirt?
How many times have you been lied to?
If I was in your shoes, I’d want to cry too
Instead of reaching for the Promised Land
You gathered pills in the palm of your hand
You swallowed them all with a bottle of booze
You’ve got nothing left, what is there to lose?

CHORUS
Wounded angel! Wounded angel!
Say something if you are able!
Burning devil! Burning devil!
You’ve fallen to such a low level!

VERSE 2
We all have a past full of pain and sorrow
We all somehow look forward to tomorrow
What happened to the muscles in your body?
Instead of growing from this, you’re rotting
We all like to travel to those darkest places
Sooner or later, you’ll see the demons’ faces
The same demons you were trying to run from
Instead of escaping, you’ve gone and fucked up

CHORUS
Wounded angel! Wounded angel!
Say something if you are able!
Burning devil! Burning devil!
You’ve fallen to such a low level!

VERSE 3
I don’t blame you for the pain you feel
I blame you for the damage you deal
We tried so hard for you and your future
But nobody’s winning, we all are losers
I can only do so much for you, my friend
Negativity’s bringing our story to an end
All you had do was call out for help
Instead you took a nosedive to hardcore hell

EXTENDED CHORUS
Wounded angel! Wounded angel!
Say something if you are able!
Burning devil! Burning devil!
You’ve fallen to such a low level!
Everybody’s hurting so badly now!
Will things get better? We don’t know how!
You’ve taken more than you’ve ever given!
All you had to do from the start was listen!

HOOK
Into the box with the permanent locks
Into the dirt where it forever will hurt
Past the gates where you sealed your fate

And now here comes the cataclysm of hate