Royce White: If the Klan Hood Fits, Wear It

 

Enes Kanter Freedom: A Bigger Danger to Women Than Transgender People Will Ever Be

 

Ridley Scott: Nothing Is Ever His Fault, Only the "Millennians"

 

Soldiers and Hard Work

An axe to grind became rise and grind

The American Dream is yours to find

A fantasy McGuffin, never mind the dick sucking

Don’t like boot polish? Keep on trucking

Rock and roll used to stick it to the man

Now it’s all about money, get as much as you can

Authenticity is now a pejorative

A roof above, you can’t afford it

Unless you beat the algorithm like it owes you dough

Pay thousands for the secret, but nobody really knows

Either way you got yourself a bullwhip master

Lashes will make you work harder and faster

Can’t flip the bird without their approval

Your art is digital, ready for mass removal

Corporate masters wrote your lyrics for you

Sing them word for word or sponsors ignore you

Soldiers and hard work! Soldiers and hard work!

Never mind creativity and all of your quirks

Soldiers and hard work! Soldiers and hard work!

Say it loud and proud while bikini dancers twerk

Soldiers and hard work! Soldiers and hard work!

Brought to you by Monster and Paramount Network

Soldiers and hard work! Soldiers and hard work!

Buy it, believe it, love it, or leave it

Love it, love it, love it

Love it, love it, love it

Repeat the mantra one million times

And now it’s forever a part of your mind

Now we’re going pop, the party doesn’t stop

Except for the guitarist who parties the hardest

Take a pay cut or get tossed out the window

Like a pot of piss, an appropriate symbol

Squeeze you dry like we’re making lemonade

We can always use a robot to get our product made

Strum your guitar and bang on your drums

Slap the bass with your blistering thumbs

Scream the lyrics like you’re in agony

Like you’re blitzed and losing your center of gravity

Another shakedown and you start to break down

Who’s next in line to get peanuts for time?

Make more babies to feed the industry

Freezing her eggs? You got to be kidding me

Everybody stays home, all bosses are jerks

Couldn’t bother to care about soldiers and hard work

Jeremy Boreing: Very Fitting Last Name Considering the Content The Daily Wire Puts Out

 

Bluesky: It's Still a Social Media Site and Dogpiling Over Little Shit Is Still a Problem

 

Brie Bella: Married Bryan Danielson, But Transphobia Is Her One True Love

 

Handing Out 51/50 Orders Like It's Christmas

 

Penny (Gadget) For Your Thoughts, Val Venis?

 

Unpopular Opinion: Stonehenge Is Boring

 

A Pleasure to Have in Class

VERSE 1

I was such a pleasure to have in the class

All while the system fucked me in the ass

Trading my soul for an A+ to pass

And that’s why my childhood went by so fast

 

CHORUS 1

But I’m better than school

I’m nobody’s tool

I did what I did to survive

I’m better than school

I make my own rules

My rage is about to go live

 

VERSE 2

Dressed up in my Sunday’s best for the test

Job interview just to see if I’m screwed

They wished me luck in all my endeavors

And that’s why I’m unemployed forever

 

CHORUS 2

But I’m better than school

And capitalist fools

I live on despite their oppression

I’m better than school

And corporate gene pools

Hiring down the line of succession

 

BRIDGE

I’m an artist, not a soldier

Holding corpses on shoulders

I’m a lover, not a hater

Though I bloom a lot later

I’m a rebel, not a drone

Leave my human rights alone

I’m my own man, not a student

Not expendable, not useless

 

CHORUS 3

But I’m better than school

And a world so cruel

My art lives on when it’s my time to go

I’m better than school

I’ll die in this duel

It’s my hill to stand on

They’re my feet to land on

Too good for conformity

So don’t try to whore me

HR Pufnstuf: Teaching Children Corporate-Speak Since 1969

 

Stealers Wheel vs. Matt Stone: "Stuck in the Middle with You"

 

Zoe Bee: School Is Over, But Learning Never Ends

 

Giorgia Meloni: Because the Italian Government Has No Jurisdiction Over American Crimes

 

Garrison Kelly's Rules of Engagement: They're Completely Reasonable, I Swear!

 

Johnny Young Gets a Taste of His Own Medicine, Which Tastes Like Shit

 

Jaida Parker: Another Dumbass TERF Worthy of Ridicule

 

Jon Moxley Is Done Talking and Internet Trolls Should Be Too

 

A Hairdresser vs. Garrison's Autism: You Can't Spell Hairdresser without the Letters HR