Romance Scammers Are the Scum of the Earth; I'll Die on That Hill, Hopefully They'll Die in Their Own Filth

 

George Santos Has a Bridge to Sell You...and You're Probably Dumb Enough to Buy It!

 

Rush Limbaugh: His Mouth Was Good for Two Things and One of Them Was Spreading Conservative BS

 

"Doctor" Mehmet Oz

 

Hulk Hogan

 

Pants Down

Red-handed, pants around your feet

Dirty ass pasted to the toilet seat

Porno magazine covered in dude soup

Should I give you more time to regroup?

You got caught, you’re fucking busted

No need to have your fingerprints dusted

It’s your fault, own up to the mistake

Before I find one of your limbs to break

You’re sorry? Why do I not believe you?

I’m not the one who’s trying to deceive you

You spent a whole lifetime telling me lies

This is where I finally cut our damn ties

Pants down and fake tears on your face

As you scramble to find another place

Pants down and your whole life story

All of it is drama and none of it is glory

Pants down and Mary-Sue privilege

Nobody in town sees you as the villain

One day you’ll piss off the wrong guy

And he won’t care when you cry

Rest in pieces when you convert to Jesus

Bang on heaven’s gate for all four seasons

Stealing from me has all led up to this

I hope you enjoyed your riches and bliss

I know I enjoyed the lesson I just learned

That trust isn’t easy and must be earned

One strike and you’re out, get off the plate

Before I leave your nuts in a sterile state

Batter on deck, play baseball with your balls

Thunderous crack echoing off the walls

I’m in love with my newfound courage

As I finally pull these theater curtains

On toxic people and toxic friendships

On future prisoners, courtroom defendants

Somewhere over your heavenly rainbow

Is a lot more of the same old, same old

I'm Still Angry

CHORUS

I’m still angry, you’re still ugly

I’m still on fire, you’re still a liar

I’m still seething, you’re still breathing

I’m still pissed, here comes my fist!

VERSE 1

I put off dealing with you for so long

Memories bubble up ever so strong

You’re no longer here, but it still hurts

To hear the words of a raving jerk

It’s not about health, it’s about control

You’re not a doctor, you’re just a troll

You’re not a hero to the world at large

You’re a criminal waiting to be charged

CHORUS

I’m still angry, you’re still ugly

I’m still on fire, you’re still a liar

I’m still seething, you’re still breathing

I’m still pissed, here comes my fist!

VERSE 2

I fed you pizza and entertained you

Imparted wisdom you never once knew

Gave you a place to sleep and be free

And this is how you fucking repay me?

A knife in the back doesn’t hurt enough

A torture table is surely the right stuff

A mind fuck forever is what you gave

Until the day I sleep in my own grave

CHORUS

I’m still angry, you’re still ugly

I’m still on fire, you’re still a liar

I’m still seething, you’re still breathing

I’m still pissed, here comes my fist!

BRIDGE

Goodbye! Goodbye!
For you I will not cry

Piss off! Fuck you!

I refuse to trust you

Sayonara! Adios!

It’s good for us both

Never come back again!

This is the fucking end!

Good! Fucking! Bye!

Liars and Thieves

VERSE 1

You spread lies like you spread your legs

Giving it all away free to anyone who begs

Libel is your bible and fraud is your god

Yet you wonder why you’re a lightning rod

Well placed punches never shut you up

You drink in sympathy like a coffee cup

Everyone is eating out of your filthy hands

Lies and rumors are the laws of the land

CHORUS

Liars and thieves! People to believe!

Thieves and liars! Slander for hire!

Gather around the cult of personality!

He chokes on bullshit ever so laughably!

VERSE 2

Reputations ruined and lives shattered

Spirits broken and psychologies battered

Brains feel number than a shot of Novocain

Hearts feel crushed underneath the pain

Weaponizing words is an act of war

You’re an iron dictator to the deepest core

Weaponizing fists is an act of revenge

Nobody stops until everyone is dead

CHORUS

Liars and thieves! People to believe!

Thieves and liars! Slander for hire!

Gather around the cult of personality!

He chokes on bullshit ever so laughably!

VERSE 3

A cold jail cell is the last circle of hell

The result of the fighting after the bell

The high school became a boxing ring

The final punch has dethroned the king

Justice or revenge? What’s the difference?

One takes longer and the other is instant

The road to hell is paved with bitter blood

There is no exit ramp to lead you to love

EXTENDED CHORUS

Liars and thieves! People to believe!

Thieves and liars! Slander for hire!

Gather around the cult of personality!

He chokes on bullshit ever so laughably!

The truth alone never freed anybody!

When no one even bothers to study!

Everybody wants to plant the seeds!

Of ignorance for the liars and thieves!

FINAL LINE

Coming up next on Celebrity Bullshit: this Hollywood stud fucked an entire village of mentally challenged trolls! More news at eleven. Here’s Stacy with the weather.