I Don't Have a Dog

CHORUS

I don’t have a dog in this fight

I can’t decide who’s wrong or right

We can go all day, go all night

If only there was an arena in sight

VERSE 1

He said this and then she said that

What they said was a whole lot of jack

Hidden agenda, open challenge policy

Open the door for verbal sodomy

Everything’s on the table for the media

Sooner or later, it’s marked with tedium

Whatever happened to keeping the peace?

When will the madness finally cease?

CHORUS

I don’t have a dog in this fight

I can’t decide who’s wrong or right

We can go all day, go all night

If only there was an arena in sight

VERSE 2

Slinging mud and slinging shit

They’re hoping for a critical hit

Drinking poison, wishing for death

On each other, it makes no sense

This isn’t a wrestling or boxing ring

Stop fighting over every little thing

Diplomacy is what you all need

Before you fuckers start to bleed

BRIDGE

Conscientious objection

This ain’t some kind of election

Digging up the dirt

Will cause both of you to hurt

Friendly fire, both are liars

It’s what the camera requires

I don’t have a dog in this war

I don’t want to see any more

EXTENDED CHORUS

I don’t have a dog in this fight

I can’t decide who’s wrong or right

We can go all day, go all night

If only there was an arena in sight

I don’t have a dog in this battle

I don’t blindly follow like cattle

Reality TV is rated TV-MA

Disgusts me so much, I turn away

Liars and Thieves

VERSE 1

You spread lies like you spread your legs

Giving it all away free to anyone who begs

Libel is your bible and fraud is your god

Yet you wonder why you’re a lightning rod

Well placed punches never shut you up

You drink in sympathy like a coffee cup

Everyone is eating out of your filthy hands

Lies and rumors are the laws of the land

CHORUS

Liars and thieves! People to believe!

Thieves and liars! Slander for hire!

Gather around the cult of personality!

He chokes on bullshit ever so laughably!

VERSE 2

Reputations ruined and lives shattered

Spirits broken and psychologies battered

Brains feel number than a shot of Novocain

Hearts feel crushed underneath the pain

Weaponizing words is an act of war

You’re an iron dictator to the deepest core

Weaponizing fists is an act of revenge

Nobody stops until everyone is dead

CHORUS

Liars and thieves! People to believe!

Thieves and liars! Slander for hire!

Gather around the cult of personality!

He chokes on bullshit ever so laughably!

VERSE 3

A cold jail cell is the last circle of hell

The result of the fighting after the bell

The high school became a boxing ring

The final punch has dethroned the king

Justice or revenge? What’s the difference?

One takes longer and the other is instant

The road to hell is paved with bitter blood

There is no exit ramp to lead you to love

EXTENDED CHORUS

Liars and thieves! People to believe!

Thieves and liars! Slander for hire!

Gather around the cult of personality!

He chokes on bullshit ever so laughably!

The truth alone never freed anybody!

When no one even bothers to study!

Everybody wants to plant the seeds!

Of ignorance for the liars and thieves!

FINAL LINE

Coming up next on Celebrity Bullshit: this Hollywood stud fucked an entire village of mentally challenged trolls! More news at eleven. Here’s Stacy with the weather.