Showing posts with label Bullshit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bullshit. Show all posts

Saturday, March 7, 2020

Like Roses


Your shit doesn’t smell like roses
It’s an assault on all of our noses
Yet you do your supermodel poses
While you piss on truth with hoses
Your seed doesn’t grow superheroes
Your sperm count is damn near zero
Skin color doesn’t make you superior
Doesn’t sweeten your ugly interior
No hospital would call you a doctor
No subordinate would be your fodder
A tiny brain in your oversized head
Your generation’s ways are dead
Everybody wants to save the world
With their favorite flags unfurled
Everyone wants to be right all the time
But nobody wants the uphill climb
You reserve the right to be smug
While you’re giving yourself a tug
We reserve the right to call you out
To make you question, make you doubt
To make you feel some discomfort
To make you feel quite humble
You’re not the king of our earth
Not the chosen one since birth
Your prophecy arc was based on lies
Even you pump gas, cook our fries
Let’s see you work for buffalo nickels
My burger doesn’t have enough pickles
But don’t worry, you’re still number one
The platform on which you should run
Maybe your shit really smells like roses
Or you’re high on your own overdoses

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Don't Call Me That


Don’t call me a racist, don’t call me a sexist
Don’t laugh at my failures, don’t pray for my exit
Don’t call me a monster, don’t call me a perv
Don’t call me the ugliest motherfucker on earth
Don’t call me a weirdo, don’t call me a psycho
Don’t text your threats at me with a million typos
Don’t call me a piggy-pie, don’t call me fat
Don’t look at me like you’re disgusted at that
Don’t call me a sinner, don’t call me the devil
Don’t even suggest I’m on the lowest level
Don’t call me a rookie, don’t call me lazy
You’re nearsighted and your vision’s hazy
Don’t call me something you can never take back
What are you smoking? Weed, tobacco, or crack?
Who told you those lies? The leader of a cult?
Whatever it is, it’s getting really fucking old
Speak only for yourself and for nobody else
When you buy your own lies, the bullshit sells
I’m not going to heaven, I’m not going to hell
I’d rather stay at the dingiest no-tell motel
Rather die on the toilet of a McDonald’s bathroom
Than on the battlefield serving your holy platoon
Don’t call me your prisoner of your losing war
Don’t call me a ghost you should always ignore

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Bullshit

VERSE 1
Packed like sardines in our death machines
Sanity bursting like a bomb at the seams
Tired and sore from the heavy metal war
Sweat oozing like a faucet from every pore
Somebody move it or I’m going to lose it
You have a gas pedal, just fucking use it
Nobody cares about the road construction
Everything else is whirling to destruction

CHORUS X4
Move it! Move it! Move it!
This is bullshit!

VERSE 2
Far from home in this cage of chrome
Rubberneck rednecks stalling on the road
Look at all the brutality on the pavement
He made a shit sandwich and fucking ate it
Bodies piled high and we all know why
Somebody’s head was stuck in the sky
Texting and talking on their fucking device
Crushing bones into piles of white rice

CHORUS X4
Move it! Move it! Move it!
This is bullshit!

VERSE 3
I’m finally home and tucked into bed
The next morning I’m sore and red
Everything hurts, my eyeballs burn
When will I stay home? When will I learn?
Public life is as addictive as cocaine
Is it worth all of the aches and pains?
Don’t wake me up until it’s noon
Don’t make me do stuff anytime soon

EXTENDED CHORUS
Move it! Move it! Move it!
This is bullshit!
Prove it! Prove it! Prove it!
I’m tired and sick!
Get up! Get up! Get up!
Fuck that shit!
Move it! Move it! Move it!

Eat a dick!

Saturday, January 7, 2017

Liars and Thieves

VERSE 1
You spread lies like you spread your legs
Giving it all away free to anyone who begs
Libel is your bible and fraud is your god
Yet you wonder why you’re a lightning rod
Well placed punches never shut you up
You drink in sympathy like a coffee cup
Everyone is eating out of your filthy hands
Lies and rumors are the laws of the land

CHORUS
Liars and thieves! People to believe!
Thieves and liars! Slander for hire!
Gather around the cult of personality!
He chokes on bullshit ever so laughably!

VERSE 2
Reputations ruined and lives shattered
Spirits broken and psychologies battered
Brains feel number than a shot of Novocain
Hearts feel crushed underneath the pain
Weaponizing words is an act of war
You’re an iron dictator to the deepest core
Weaponizing fists is an act of revenge
Nobody stops until everyone is dead

CHORUS
Liars and thieves! People to believe!
Thieves and liars! Slander for hire!
Gather around the cult of personality!
He chokes on bullshit ever so laughably!

VERSE 3
A cold jail cell is the last circle of hell
The result of the fighting after the bell
The high school became a boxing ring
The final punch has dethroned the king
Justice or revenge? What’s the difference?
One takes longer and the other is instant
The road to hell is paved with bitter blood
There is no exit ramp to lead you to love

EXTENDED CHORUS
Liars and thieves! People to believe!
Thieves and liars! Slander for hire!
Gather around the cult of personality!
He chokes on bullshit ever so laughably!
The truth alone never freed anybody!
When no one even bothers to study!
Everybody wants to plant the seeds!
Of ignorance for the liars and thieves!

FINAL LINE

Coming up next on Celebrity Bullshit: this Hollywood stud fucked an entire village of mentally challenged trolls! More news at eleven. Here’s Stacy with the weather.