Magneto from X-Men: the Arcade Game vs. Lauren Boebert

 

Magneto's dialogue was a typo in the arcade game. Lauren Boebert's dialogue was intentional.

Chris Taylor Brown from Trapt

 

Bawitdaba

VERSE 1

I start my truck by breathing into a tube

I drive around high school looking for boobs

You call it statutory? I call it mandatory

Like making a poncho out of Old Glory

And wearing it while playing for my man W

And doing it again for his far-right substitute

My skeleton key can open anyone’s lock

Now get in my bed and try to love Kid Rock!

CHORUS 1

Browitdabro

The camel toe

Licky, licky, licky

Until your leggy-weggies become sticky

VERSE 2

The reason why my tickets sell for so damn cheap?

‘Cause y’all work at Wal-Mart seven days a week

I relate to the struggle in my comfortable mansion

While poverty kills like a family of Mansons

I got a tennis court and a swimming pool

And a hummer that runs on hundred dollar fuel

You can look for answers, but you know it’s a crock

Now get in my bed and try to love Kid Rock!

CHORUS 2

Blahwitdablah

The biggie bra

Jiggy, jiggy, jiggy

Until my peter becomes a stiffy

CHORUS 3

Blewwitdablew

Come on to you

Sicky, sicky, sicky

You don’t have to be so damn picky

BRIDGE

Love!

Is what I hate!

Don’t need no peace!

War!

CHORUS 4

Byewitdabye

I want to cry

Crowbar city

I’m in jail, it’s such a pity

Bitch About

CHORUS 1

Bitch about millennials, bitch about liberals

Bitching quite a lot or bitching just a little

Bitch about democrats, bitch about greens

Bitch like you know what the fuck this all means!

VERSE 1

You’ve got your own version of PC culture

Got your own whiners like Hannity and Coulter

Got your own pitchforks, got your own chariots

Got your own sins, got your own embarrassments

Got an automatic rifle to enforce your rules

Got a stockpile of magazines and torture tools

When the brightest flame ignites the flag

Your private army grabs the body bags

CHORUS 2

Bitch about Hilary, bitch about Bill

Bitch about Bernie, bitch about Jill

Bitch about people other than yourself

Bitch about dark magic on the library shelf

VERSE 2

You have everything you’ve ever wanted

Freedom and church, yet you feel taunted

You tell other people to not be offended

Yet your own traumatic visions never ended

You got triggered, so you got liquored

As if your ego could get any bigger

You hurt just as much as the rest of us

Join the human race or in the moon you trust

CHORUS 3

Bitch about this, bitch about that

Bitch while swinging a baseball bat

Smash the windows, smash the hood

Smash it all in the name of holy good

Bitch about protestors, though you are one

Bitch about everything under the sun

Bitch about life, bitch about the world

Bitch until you feel like you want to hurl

VERSE 3

What makes you so different from us?

We all have the need to fuss and cuss

Superiority is a dangerous illusion

Don’t be the one who promotes exclusion

"Red Blood, White Knuckles, Blue Heart" by Garrison Kelly

All of this reading of quick novels had to lead somewhere. For me, it lead to me publishing my first book on Lulu.com under the penname Garrison Kelly. It’s an anthology of my best work called “Red Blood, White Knuckles, Blue Heart”. You’re probably wondering why I chose to publish under a penname instead of Garrison Haines-Temons. It has nothing to do with my need for privacy, though that would be nice. To be honest, the name Kelly is harder to butcher than Haines-Temons. Throughout school, I’ve been called “Hynes-Tea-Moans”, “Hainees-Tee-muns”, and a bunch of other weird names that are obviously a product of linguistic ignorance. I used to embrace the idea of having a page in my books that told people how to pronounce my name, but I opted not to since Kelly is a more attractive last name anyways. But if you still want to know how my last name is pronounced, here it is. Haines rhymes with “chains” and Temons rhymes with “Simmons”. I know it seems weird that the E in Temons would be pronounced like a short I, but trust me, that’s how it’s said. Temons is a very old Gaelic name. It looks strange, but it’s pronounced only one way. Same thing goes for the name McLeod. It’s not pronounced “Mick-Lee-Uhd”. It’s pronounced “Mick-Loud”. I chose the name Garrison Kelly because it’s easy to say and we don’t have to have a debate over how it’s said. You’re probably wondering why I chose to talk about my last name instead of the actual anthology I’ve published. The answer is simple: if you want to know what to expect from my book, go to the link provided and read either the description or the back cover. I’ll warn you right now that none of these stories, letters, and poems are intended for the squeamish. I don’t do TV-G stuff except for on very rare occasions. This is not one of those occasions. There’s a reason why there’s a TV-MA logo on the American flag book cover. And yes, that is my older brother with the knife in his mouth. I took that photo of James back in 2006 and thought he would make a great Waldo Spiegel, one of the characters in the book. You’re probably wanting the link right about now. Okay, here it is. Happy reading!

　
http://www.lulu.com/shop/garrison-kelly/red-blood-white-knuckles-blue-heart/paperback/product-20672921.html