The audience at the Black River Arena mumbled somberly to
each other while the wrestling ring in the center was dimly lit. They held up
signs for their favorite wrestlers, but with weak arms. They “wooed” and
cheered, but few did it with them. Some stood up, but the rest of them stayed
seated. This audience was more like a graveyard than an arena full of wrestling
fans. The sadness in their eyes was obvious as some of them were shedding
tears.
And then the grinding sound of Demon Axe’s number one hit
“Zombie-Ogre” boomed from the speakers like a cannonball. Any sadness or
zombie-like behavior transformed instantly into raucous rage as the audience
shot up from their seats and cheered like wild motherfuckers. The throaty
chants of, “Vega! Vega! Vega!” echoed off the walls and created a symphony of
adrenaline for the seven-foot tall world champion wrestler, Johnny Vega.
With his blood red hair in a ponytail, his beard scraggly,
his green overalls fitting snuggly around his muscles, and the golden world
title strapped around his waist, Johnny Vega looked out into the crowd and
nodded at the love he was getting. He enjoyed the adulation so much that he
clapped and cheered along with them as he strutted down to the ring. Once he
climbed up on the apron, stepped over the top rope with his gigantic legs, and
held his world title in the air, the crowd’s verbal assault hit its crescendo
with fire and spunk, highly unlike what they were feeling before.
The minute Johnny Vega grabbed a microphone from the
ringside attendant, the chants of his last name continued to put a huge grin on
the champion’s face. But even a tough guy giant like him wasn’t immune to the
tears in his own eyes. He wiped them away with his thumb and inhaled snot back
in his nose much to the clapping approval of the crowd who came to see him.
“Thank you, guys. Thank you so much, you have no idea how
much that means to me,” said Johnny into the microphone. “But as much as I love
hearing that kind of energy from you guys, tonight is not about me. I know why
you guys were in such a sour mood before I came out here. I feel it too. It’s
about what happened to my favorite metal band Demon Axe a few days ago.”
The audience booed at Demon Axe’s fate while some of the
members reverted back to tears. Johnny said, “I know, it pisses me off too.
What in the hell would motivate some asshole to kill off so many people like
that? What kind of message is that supposed to send? What are we supposed to
learn from all of this?”
He teared up a little bit at that last sentence and then
toughened up yet again. “I’ll tell you what we’re supposed to learn! We don’t
back down from shit-heads like that! I don’t care how many people this moron
kills, because we’re here to put on a fucking show and there’s not a goddamn thing
he can do about it!” He received a sonic boom of cheers and raised fists once
more. “This is America,
baby! America
doesn’t negotiate with terrorists! America doesn’t back down every
time a tragedy happens! America
gets back on their feet, dusts themselves off, and keeps on going until they
can’t go anymore!”
Just when the audience was ready to explode with excitement,
the sounds of sarcastic clapping into a microphone filled the arena and the
boos were as brutal as ever. A man dressed in a purple robe with a hood over
his head and a vulture mask over his face entered the arena and put a confused
slash angry expression on Johnny Vega’s face. The wrestler said, “You’re not
Vulture Man. You’re not G-Pac. You’re not Pig Man, though you are a pig for
coming out here and interrupting me. Who the hell do you think you are, little
man?!”
The robed figure said with a chorus of boos in the
background, “Relax! I’m not here to spoil your fun. I’m just another guy who
wants a crack at that championship you’ve got there. Because there’s nothing
more manly and gutsy than two muscle-bound men fighting over a belt.”
“Don’t be a smart-ass, pretty boy! And take off that mask,
you don’t deserve to wear it! That mask belonged to one of the greatest heavy
metal guitarists of all time and you’re running around like you’re God’s
greatest gift to professional wrestling! You ain’t shit, motherfucker! I take
dumps bigger than you! You want to come out here to run your big mouth and wear
that fucking mask like you actually own it, then get your ass in this ring so I
can snap your goddamn spine!” shouted Johnny, much to the roaring delight of
the fans, who chanted his last name once again.
The hooded figure drew more boos as he cackled into the
microphone. “You misunderstand me. This isn’t about a mask or a belt or any
other piece of god-awful attire. This is about my mission. This is about my
people. This is about the wonderful friends you call Demon Axe parading their
disgusting music all over holy ground. That ‘arena’ they played at wasn’t just
for show. Whoever built that abortion of a structure was trampling all over my
race’s sacred pastures. Yes, the building has been around for years, but I was
the only one with the guts to do anything about it. And now here you are
disgracing my people once again by speaking highly of these Demon Axe
infidels!”
Johnny formed a wicked smile on his face and shook his head
before saying, “So you’re the lunatic who carved up all those people at the
Demon Axe concert.” The boos grew heavier and heavier, but Johnny held up his
hands and said, “Nah, nah, cool it, guys. It’s actually a good thing that this
dumb-ass came here in the middle of a wrestling show. Because now, I have a
reason to kick his ass!”
The champion wrestler threw down his microphone and belt
before jumping over the top rope and bull rushing his way toward the robed
figure. Johnny cocked back his sledgehammer-like fist and took a wild, brutal,
head-crunching swing. The minute his fist made contact with Vulture Man’s mask,
the entire robe collapsed into purple smoke, leaving the audience and Johnny
shrugging their shoulders and looking around aimlessly for answers.
The lights in the arena blew out and left everybody in
mysterious darkness. The grating sounds of the terrorist laughing drew the
loudest boos of the night. Red smoke appeared in the ring and revealed the
figures of the machete-wielding elf warrior and a fellow wrestler on her knees
with a crown of thorns on her head and a neon red glow in her eyes. The lights
came back on and revealed a wide-eyed, shocked expression on Johnny Vega’s
face. He shouted, “What the hell did you do to Sonia?!”
The woman everybody knew as Sonia Marquez donned gray MMA
shorts, a black sports bra, and a black ponytail behind her head. Her muscular
frame, sinister gimmick, and vicious martial arts skills made her a perfect
slave for someone like the mysterious elf terrorist. Despite how real and
genuine Sonia’s brainwashing looked, everybody in the audience assumed this was
part of the show and booed accordingly rather than rushing the ring.
Johnny Vega rushed back up to the ring, leaped over the top
rope, and reached his hands out in an attempt to strangle the elf terrorist
until his head burst like a pustule. Mr. Vega was met with a kick to the liver
by Sonia after she jumped up from her kneeling position. Johnny held his ribs
tightly and dropped to his own knees before coughing up a liberal amount of
blood.
“Don’t be too hard on him, Sonia,” ordered the elf. “We need
him to cleanse this earth of anybody who would dare disrespect my people’s
heritage. He’s big, strong, and wouldn’t dare resist the power of one of
these.” The elf presented a magical crown of thorns to Sonia, who gladly
accepted it with a wicked grin on her face. The elf jerked Johnny’s head up by
his ponytail while Sonia slipped the brainwashing device over his head. Johnny
protested with yells and “No’s”, but it was too late. The crown was already
hardwiring his brain by stabbing its prickly thorns into his skull. A few more
exhausted breaths later and Johnny slowly stood back up with the same red neon
in his eyes as his female counterpart.
Once again, the fans didn’t know if this was part of the
show or if this was really happening before their eyes. The elf could have been
some asshole in makeup. The neon eyes could have been electrified contact
lenses. The crowns of thorns could have been props for a hardcore match. One
zealous fan in a Johnny Vega T-shirt and blue jeans jumped over the barricade
and rushed the ring with a steel chair in hands. He immediately had his head
chopped off by the elf’s machete.
The audience screamed like horrified babies while shooting
up from their seats and bolting out of the nearest exits with their arms
flailing. The black shirted, big bellied security detail stormed the ring only
to be met with slashes from the elf’s machete, big boots and clotheslines from
Johnny Vega, and elbow smashes and knee strikes from the MMA enthusiast Sonia
Marquez. This didn’t look like “fake shit” anymore. Every slash unleashed a
tidal wave of blood from the security detail’s guts and throats. Every
clothesline knocked heads off of shoulders and snapped spines like toothpicks.
Every MMA strike broke bones so badly that they jutted into vital organs. So
many security guards’ corpses filled the ring and left behind a sea of blood
and disgust in their wake. The Black River Arena made battlefields and car
crashes look mundane.
The elf warrior raised his machete to the sky and yelled,
“Nobody disrespects my heritage! Nobody disrespects my nation! Remember the
name of Roger Zee! Feel the trauma every time that name is blown up on your TV
screens! Know that your heroes and your military are powerless against me! The
world will respect my race if I have to chop the heads off of every man, woman,
and child on this sick fucking planet!”
